From Fairy Tales to Firm Foundations: The Art of Grounded Relationships

Welcome to the Science of Abundance Daily Alchemy podcast. I'm your host, Sean Clayton, and my story's pretty interesting. Went through a ton of trauma, former incarceration, suicide attempts, sexual abuse in my life. And one of the things that's happened in my life is I've actually used hermetic principles, alchemy, all these really cool tools that we hear and we talk about the Illuminati, whatever you want to call it, and develop practices in order to change and affect my lives differently. So within this podcast, I will be giving tidbits and bites for individuals to be able to bite into on a daily basis. That will allow you to take baby steps to change your life. But at some point, you'll find the door that starts to change the effect of how you show up on a daily basis. Enjoy this, give feedback, come to my Instagram comment, whatever it might be, always open because we wouldn't be here without each other. Please enjoy and thank you, and I love you. Welcome back to Daily Alchemy. And on this episode, I'm really excited to talk about grounding our relationships. What's so fun about growing up is the amazing stories that we read, the fairy tales that we learn about, and all of these beautiful things around what relationships or a wild, whirlwind romance is supposed to be. Even when you watch these silly rom coms that end up in these awesome situations, you're like, man, that actually is kind of cool. I wish my life were a little bit that way. The movie Hitch, any of that stuff, right? And as we go through the process of really thinking about how we ground out the relationships, we have to think about why we even need to ground them in the first place. So there's this bliss that we feel, there is this ethereal plane that we chase after, and there's this divine purpose that we walk in. And we all, as I've said before, have a very similar, if not the same divine purpose, which is just love. And that love is what I feel like has been kind of bastardized a little bit and turned into what society tells us love is. And what society tells us love is, is what I consider is either a very middle or very low vibration of the expansiveness of the possibilities of love. No judgment in it. We all have to go through different levels. There's a video, I talk about the structure of the pyramid where you have to have the base, to have the middle, to have the top. And you just can't float out there in the middle of nowhere without grounding yourself into Something. So we have to have these other elements and we have to feel these other elements. And oftentimes we get to the top of, let's say, the first section of the pyramid and we're like, man, that was bliss. And it is bliss comparative to the bottom of the pyramid, right? But as we move further up these scales, we'll start to recognize that what love really is is this all encompassing aspect of self awareness. I was listening to this Ram Dass deal about love where you go through the pain, the hell and the shit, and you can actually really hold that space for yourself and somebody else at the same time. That's the point when you can truly love another, because you can see it all as oneness and you're not separate from anything. And therefore it's really simple for you to be able to ground elements of love in a very high vibration. Because you're not passing judgment or separation or using your senses to create some aspect of distance or space from other people. When we start to really go through the structure of grounding a relationship, what we have to understand is that at every individual plane of vibration or growth that we go through in learning to love ourselves, which is the first thing that we have to do, internalize this wholeness of self, we have to be able to understand what are the rhythmic patterns that we have to build in order to then ground that learning back into life so that you can really fill out that space that lives underneath you. So if you don't have that rhythmic state of permanence and you're not filling out that space at each individual level of your growth, what ends up happening is that you have this kind of like empty shell. It's almost like a chocolate egg that's empty. It looks really cool and really solid from the outside. You just tap it a little bit and it cracks. So if you start to put any kind of weight on top of that, and what's interesting is as we go further up our expansiveness, it's easier to fill that space because the space becomes smaller. But the problem is it becomes heavier and more dense. And then if the bottom isn't actually full, what happens is the whole thing comes crumbling down. So it's extremely important as we go through these different elements of growth that we have the ability to fill that container a hundred percent with very rhythmic practices that allow us to go through the process of grounding. And candidly, a lot of it isn't fun, but it is necessary and non negotiable for us to be able to actually move up that ladder. What I've recognized, even with a lot of my friends and individuals that I work with, is that they want to take the shortcut all the way up to the top. They want to have the Kundalini experience, they want to have this just blissful feeling. They want to meditate their life away. And they want to be in a position to where they start receiving these like really interesting knowings and whatever the hell you want to call it. And they don't really ground it. What does it mean? What does it mean if I wake up one day and I see a alien standing in front of me? What does it mean if I have this awesome vision and all of a sudden I'm witnessing some message from Jesus Christ or some angel comes and floats over me and gives me some divine something? Or I feel these just orgasmic feelings all the time through some Kundalini response. What am I doing with that? What is the correspondence of my daily practice that I have to pull into life minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day. If I don't have that doing anything, then what's the purpose? And as I was going through my journey, I would go to all these crystal shops, I'd read all these books. I would always bliss out, you know, take a mushroom or two and kind of like forget that it all mattered. And even in my relationships, what would end up happening is I'd be like, hey, just forget about the past. It doesn't matter because we're here now and you can forget about the past, but you haven't built a rhythm in order to let the past go. And no matter how much you forget about it, not everybody's going to forget about it because these really cool things called feelings and emotions remind us that it's there. And when I did a lot of the Joe Dispenza work, he's like, you know, feelings and emotions are memories of the past and you can get stuck in that, therefore you're not actually present. Totally agree with that. On the flip side of it, feelings and emotions are memories of the past and they really don't go anywhere. Because the world, we're in a space of co creation, therefore it's always going to exist. And until we all wake up one day and agree that we're not going to remember anything yesterday and we step into the present moment, a couple things would probably happen. One, we'd have this really blissful experience, but two, we'd probably forget how to drive a car. So. So we can't really forget about the stuff that gives us utility to walk in these human bodies. Otherwise we would be doing one and not the other. So the memories of being able to function in utility are no different than the memories of being able to function, the utility of our emotion that allow us to actually expand on ourselves. With that said, what do we do? We have to move ourselves into this really awesome space of being able to understand why all of those feelings and emotions were created for us to love ourselves more. That's the first question we ask. Once we recognize why we created all those feelings and emotions to love ourselves more than what do we actually do? We start to build a rhythmic state of permanence of what that specifically means to us right now. How do I then turn back around and I take the relationships with my loved ones, for instance. I'll use myself with Sophia. Her and I will go through certain situations to where she'll be like, hey, you did not tell me the truth about X, Y, or Z. And I always had a problem with telling the truth because why the cause of it could go all the way back to actually the witnessing of God, asking the question of who am I? Which is the real core cause. But let's say, for instance, the cause of it for me was female and motherly abandonment issues. So I have these female and motherly abandonment issues that basically put me on this trend that every time that anything traumatic might come up, what did I end up doing from a cause container perspective? Basically give Sophia a piece of the information, but not the whole information. Because I wanted to protect her from feeling a certain way. Therefore, I wouldn't feel a certain way. Real simple. And once I understood that aspect of things, what I then started to do is say, okay, well, I have to be able to hold that space in her trauma. She has to be able to deal with whatever that is that I'm telling her. And I have to be able to hold that so that she can see transparently in me how I can actually respond to her from a loving perspective based on the shame that she's feeling from certain traumatic things that she's going through. Because what would happen is by me not telling her something, she would then now start to say, okay, I am now not getting the truth. Now I'm seeking out the truth because I have something in my past, my mother, my father, whatever it might be, that wasn't telling me the truth. Therefore, now I'm seeking it all the time because I need to know and I need to feel safe and secure. So now in her process of seeking, I'm in the process of hiding, in that process, we have conflict. And then what happens is the minute that she finds out, I get mad about it because she found out about something. And then at which point she gets frustrated with me because I'm not actually being an open and honest with her. Kind of a fucked up situation when you think about it. But it kept going over and over again. The cycle kept repeating itself until I put a stop into it and said, okay, here's the truth, here's what's happening. And then what would happen is we would have, Instead of a five to ten day blow up, it might be a 20 minute blow up. She would then recognize it in herself and she would start to resolve what was happening with her. Because we weren't exacerbating the thing through these different rhythmic cycles. So the rhythmic cycle of emptiness or even permanence that we were creating out of trauma now turned into a rhythmic cycle of love that we were creating out of a different vibration. It allowed us to move to a different plane. When we started moving to that plane, she started to feel safe. And we had a conversation the other day around some intimacy things that we were going through. And I said, look, there's a pattern that's coming up that every time we move into a very specific space, this thing starts to trigger us. And when that started to trigger us and we moved into that space, we're like, okay, well, if I can become more aware of it, then I can stop it. And once I brought it up, it was no longer about like this other old triggering thing that used to happen. It was now actually about the pattern that we saw. Saw and being able to resolve that pattern. Kind of a cool way of how we came together around that, because we started to see being able to actually ground that relationship differently from an aspect of awareness that I was able to bring and an aspect of awareness that she was able to receive. So I was the bringer of it. Integrator, right? This is that whole masculine, feminine thing we talk about. She was able to receive and she was able to then actually match her intuition of saying, is this actually divine knowing or is this some Sean bullshit? Is this him manipulating me? And once she tuned into it, she was able to say, okay, this was some divine knowing because it came from the heart. It didn't come from me trying to manipulate or manifest my own outcomes. Given the fact that now she was in some trauma response. And I'm now trying to balance that trauma response so I don't have a trauma response. And then what happens? Fear begets more fear. Trauma begets more trauma. So when you think about the process, and I'll leave us with some simple steps here about how we go through that door of being able to ground our relationships. We have to be able to understand the cause. And this is two areas of those hermetic laws where we look at the cause container and the cause container is actually sitting at the seat of cause inside of Karma. To understand how the effects start to take place, being able to use the question, why did I create it all? To love myself more. Then being able to turn back around, see all of it as one, and then be able to use the law of rhythm to basically create this rhythmic state of permanence, while also understanding who is in the space of giving and who's in the space of receiving, which is that aspect of gender. You're kind of using those bottom four laws in order to create from. Because through that, the energetic aspects of the, what I call the ethereal plane are leveraging the vibration to increase things out of love and then being able to turn back around and understand the correspondence of how it's all interconnected. You really don't have to do those two things because once you do, the bottom four, the bottom four are the polarity, the actual karma, the understanding of rhythm and gender. And you can use those different principles in order to ground the relationships. What will happen is you'll start to see a different vibration and a different understanding of correspondence come up because you're now pulling in a different divine and integrated knowing. So what I'll do in the next episode is I'll dig much further into the aspect of Karma and really starting to sit at what I call the seat of cause and look at things from the seat of cause of how it actually starts to transpire in your relationship and in the we of the relationship so that we can see ourselves from a causal perspective. Because oftentimes when I set myself at the I statement, I'm just looking at it. I'm not including the other person. From a Karma perspective, the other person is the effect and I am the cause. When we become the cause together, then we start to generate the effect. There's a big shift that happens when I start to see we through the correspondence of two of us versus the I in one of us. Because what's happened over time is that we start to take notice of our senses overriding the intentions of our heart. We start to rationalize the mindfulness of our senses and we don't actually set into the Understanding of our heart, we. That really is the cause of all things and how we merge those feelings with it. So, like I said, in the next episode, we'll talk deeper about the aspect of karma, what that really means. It's not some death wish or anything like that. And you know, you're gonna get what. Reap what you sow. You're gonna get what you got coming to you. I mean, that does happen if you live in a shitty space of karma. But there's so much beautiful karma out there when you understand how to work it from that aspect of cause. So I'm excited to share that as it relates to relationships. You can then turn back around and apply that to money, you can apply that to health. You can apply that to so many other things. The fastest one is actually, like, when I work out, I'm at the seat of cause because my body starts to change. It's like an easy one to look at. Then you start to use the correspondence of your physical self to then understand how it translates to everything else. But any rhythm that you put yourself into associated with the aspect of karma, from sitting at the seat of cause, starts to create this really magical effect in life. So I really thank you guys for tuning in on this one. I'm excited to share the next one associated with how karma impacts the relationship. But this is more of that, like, aspect of the grounding container, of how we go through the process of really starting to use the physical plane to our benefit and become what I call magicians of it, to leverage the feelings that we have and the memories that we have to start bringing new love and delight. It's an awesome experiment and an awesome reality once you understand you created the experiment from the perspective of the cause itself. Thank you so much for tuning in, and I love you.