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#1 Communication Tip for Thanksgiving Disagreements

Name: #1 Communication Tip for Thanksgiving Disagreements
Uploaded: 2025-11-26T15:01:11+00:00
Duration: 58 s
Channel: Shanli Liu, CPA, CTP
Description: In this short video, Shanli Liu, CPA, CTP, explains how to engage in productive conversation with someone you fundamentally disagree with, such as during…

26 Nov 2025 · 1 min

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In this short video, Shanli Liu, CPA, CTP, explains how to engage in productive conversation with someone you fundamentally disagree with, such as during tense Thanksgiving gatherings. She argues that the goal should be understanding rather than trying to prove your point. The speaker warns against asking "why" questions because they trigger defensiveness, and instead recommends using open‑ended questions that start with "what," "how," "when," or "where." These questions help the other person feel heard, de‑escalate tension, and keep the dialogue moving forward rather than ending in a stalemate or a walk‑away.

Chapters

How to talk to someone you completely disagree with on every level. Be more interested in understanding rather than proving. Proving is this mindset of, no, you have to agree with me. Are you kidding me? You actually think— is that ever going to make anybody agree with you? Instead, ask questions that help open up understanding. These are not questions that begin with why. That will kill it instantly. Well, why do you think that? Why do you believe that? Anything that challenges the why to make them explain in a defensive posture. But if I begin with what, how, when, where, those are what they call open-ended questions. When you ask the open-ended questions to get them to open up to you and help you understand, it helps identify the need and it makes them feel acknowledged. It de-escalates the situation and it helps have a productive conversation that actually moves rather than just creating a big mess where somebody has to get up from the table and walk away because, you know what, I'm over this, you're never gonna change.