Aggression is about dominating and bullying to get what you want. Assertiveness is stating your boundaries clearly and firmly while respecting the other person. The difference matters in how you treat people, not just what you say.
You don't want to be aggressive when it comes to communication. You want to be assertive. There's a big difference. I'm going to tell you why. Being aggressive is this display in dominance to try and maintain and grasp for control over a situation, most of the time through trying to bully somebody, threaten somebody. You're saying, "I don't respect you, and I'm going to do whatever it takes to get what I want." Whereas being assertive says, I don't need to reach for anything because I'm already in control. I don't need to show dominance. I'm confident in who I am and my own emotions. And I respect you, you respect me, but I'm gonna be very clear with you where my boundaries are. For example, aggression says, "I don't care what you think. You're gonna do what I say because I said so, or else you can leave." Assertiveness says, "I'm telling you now, this is a non-negotiable for me, and if I need to give up on the idea of you being in this with me, you need to tell me now." Follow me.
