A coach argues that communication techniques are Band-Aids masking deeper issues like perfectionism and self-doubt. Real conversation requires authentic presence, not polished performance. High-functioning professionals sabotage themselves by trying to be perfect instead of being real.
Your presence in conversation will always trump your technique. Technique is a Band-Aid for what is deeper. I often get it when I coach high-functioning professionals that they are looking for the technique that's going to get them past the finish line. They're wanting that sense of perfection to reach that goal. But what I always remind them is techniques, they are just a means to an end. They don't solve the back end of it. They don't solve your true presence. What's the presence? That is what's in your head, the discernment that you have, the wisdom that you have in that moment of knowing yourself? Do you get nervous in certain situations? Do you feel like you're not enough? Do you feel like you always have to be perfect? Do you feel like you can't make mistakes? These things that are always related to your conversation. If you're not being real in conversation, it's not conversation. It's a show. It's a performance. You're giving them a version of yourself that is not true to you.
