Shanli Liu, CPA, CTP, shares a three-step method for setting boundaries in difficult conversations: state why you're there, specify what you'll discuss, and name what's off limits. She uses an example of keeping a talk focused on one incident from last Friday and refusing to go broader.
How to assert your boundaries in an argument. At any point in time, you are in complete control of your boundaries. And if you don't protect those boundaries, then you give that other person permission to drag the conversation wherever they want to take it. So assert your boundaries early and often. And this is what I do. I, number 1, I'll tell them why I'm there. 2, tell them what I'm there to talk about. And 3, my personal favorite, I tell them where I can't go. For example, Look, I made time to be here with you to discuss one thing, and that's about what happened between us last Friday. And if you want to keep bringing up X, Y, and Z, I'm not going there. So if I need to give up on this conversation, you need to tell me now. So try that and follow me.
