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How to be Less Reactive

Name: How to be Less Reactive
Uploaded: 2024-12-20T14:00:24+00:00
Duration: 55 s
Channel: Shanli Liu, CPA, CTP
Description: In this concise self‑help video, the speaker outlines three actionable steps for reducing emotional reactivity. First, adopt a learning mindset by…

20 Dec 2024 · 1 min

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0:55

In this concise self‑help video, the speaker outlines three actionable steps for reducing emotional reactivity. First, adopt a learning mindset by focusing on discovering the right question rather than proving a point, using the analogy of giving directions that require understanding the listener’s starting point. Second, curb overreactions by verbalizing present‑moment feelings with phrases like “I can feel…,” which externalizes the emotion and prevents it from taking control. Third, view personal triggers as mirrors that reveal underlying beliefs about oneself; by asking why a particular “button” exists, one gains insight that diminishes the power of external provocations. The speaker encourages viewers to practice these techniques to become less reactive.

Chapters

How to be less emotionally reactive. Number 1: Have something to learn, not something to prove. Imagine calling a friend and giving them directions to your house. You can't lead them to where you are without first understanding where they're coming from. In the same way, care more about finding the right question than you do about finding the right answer. Number 2: Stop the overreactions. You can do that by speaking in present tense with the phrase "I can feel." So for example, "When I hear you say that, I can feel myself getting defensive. I can feel myself getting worked up." When you say it out loud, you you control the reaction rather than letting that reaction control you. And number 3, what triggers you teaches you. That means you have to get really comfortable with the question, what does that say about me? It's real easy to think when somebody does something or says something you don't like, what it says about them. But what does it say about you? Yes, people will push your buttons, but why is there a button there in the first place? When you take the time to answer that question, you'll be less emotionally reactive. So try that, but follow me.