How to Defend Yourself in an Argument

Hey everybody, are you on? If you're coming in right now in the chat, just tell me where you're from. I'm already seeing lots of comments and I absolutely love it. I am here in Southeast Texas and it's been beautiful weather here today. Welcome to my masterclass. This is a free masterclass that I do every once in a while when, uh, the schedule allows for it. And this one is all about how to defend yourself in an argument. I love seeing everybody come in. Hey, good morning, Margaret! I see Rachel, Janice. I saw Eric. I saw John. I saw Matthew. Hey everybody, so good to see you. Thanks for coming. All right, I know everybody is in lunch hour right now, so I want to respect your time. And for anybody who's watching this on a replay, hi, missed you. I— you still, you're still, uh, with us in, in spirit, and I am so grateful that you're here and watching. All right, let me pull these up. I think this is going to be a little bit better. Let's do this for right now. Let's do this one. Perfect. How to defend yourself in an argument. Where we're going to be headed. So number 1, we're going to be first outlining what is a good defense, defense, defense. What, what does that mean when it comes to communication? When you say defending yourself in an argument, Jefferson, what in the world does that, does that mean? Number 2, we are going to— I'm going to— this is, this is how you know it's real and legit, me making these slides, because I didn't go back and change this. Learn how to defend yourself. I'm going to teach you everything, the 3 steps of how we're going to do that in place, defending yourself. And 3, I want to highlight real quick everybody that is from my membership that is here today. If you're in, just say hi to everybody. If you don't know, I have a membership that I host. It's a monthly membership online, so it's an online community where I host memberships just like this every month. And I host 2 live coaching calls and hot seats twice a month. And so I give resources, I have a whole AI. If you're not part of it, I want you to join it because if you find this kind of stuff interesting, if you kind of find investing in your communication something that's a productive use of your time and your value, I'm gonna ask you to join. I'd love to have you there. We even have it now to where different groups are meeting up for coffee or lunch or whatever it is that are part of the community in different areas where you live. So highlight and hello to everybody that's part of the membership. Very, very grateful for you. All right, what does it mean to defend yourself in an argument? If you would, I want you to write down right now in the comments, what does defend mean to you? What does that mean, to defend yourself in an argument? Do you think it's, it's, um, a clapback? That's what most people think it is. I would venture to say that's what most people think that it is. If I'm going to defend myself in an argument, then I have to come up with this, this zinger, right? This very eloquent, poetic— I'm gonna send something to them that's going to be so sweet. I just, I'm so concentrated on seeing their face and their mind just melt when they realize this amazing comeback that I just had on them. So I'm seeing protect myself, which I love. I I see a lot of protect, a lot of be heard, clarifying, counterpoint, standing my ground, speaking the truth. All of these are right, and all of these need to be just a little bit tweaked. And this is why I'm excited that you're here. What does it mean to defend yourself in an argument? This is how I see defending yourself, all right? Defending yourself isn't about throwing a punch back. So if you put it in, let's say martial art terms or makes me think in the legal side, you have criminal law and there's also criminal law terms for what establishes assault, what establishes battery and what does it mean to act in self-defense? So when I say defending yourself in an argument, what I don't want you to think is and I'm gonna make it look like this a little bit. We'll try out these different views. What I want you to think is defending yourself is not about throwing a punch back. It is not when somebody throws some words at you that you all of a sudden catch them and say, "Oh yeah, you like that?" And you kind of crow hop and just punch them right back. Crow hop down here in the South, I'm just now realizing not everybody might not know that term, but it's like giving yourself a good leap before you punch them right back. That's not what defending yourself is, at least in communication. And what it's really about is redirecting their force and responding with control. You may have not heard that before, this concept of redirecting their force. If you do any kind of martial arts— my son is currently in jiu-jitsu— and it's all about using somebody's own force against them. You might have heard of this term, kind of, be like water, where somebody is throwing a punch and you're just kind of moving it out of the way. You're redirecting their force without you having to go on the offensive without you ever being off-centered, off your ground. So that's the kind of defending yourself that you're going to be learning in this masterclass today. Also, I love seeing everybody's comments. This is one of my favorite things. So yeah, I'll definitely— she's put large print. There we go. This is better. Yeah, Chris. Chris, I've heard that for a while. All right. This is the idea right here on defending yourself. Don't swing wildly with your words just because you feel threatened. So what I like to do is, as you know if you're watching my content, I make a lot of different metaphors to things. So in my mind, in communication, when you're having to defend yourself in an argument, it's kind of like sparring. It's fighting, it's boxing, it's whatever it is. Uh, let's— it's compared to a physical fight. It is If you find that you're swinging wildly because you're out of control, that is, that is a dead giveaway that you're probably going to, to lose. If you watch boxers, they stay very tight, they stay very compact, if they stay very centered the whole time, because if you have a wild pitch, you open yourself up to a lot of damage. Same way in conversations, you don't want to throw a lot of words and say a lot of emotional things, crazy things that you're just trying to hurt them, because all it does is add more damage to you. You're the one that looks exposed with it. So what the idea is that you're going to block what's unfair, absorb what's useful, and let the rest pass. So you're just going to know, I don't have to catch it just because you threw it at me. I can just let it go. I can just step out of the way. I don't have to feel like I need to come up with this pithy, smart, um, comeback that's going to only do damage to me, right? Overreacting wastes your energy and opens you up to real damage. That's the takeaway there. Defending yourself does not mean that you're overreacting and somebody says something, you feel like you have to say it 10 times with the weight of them. Have you ever been in those kind of interactions where you say something and then someone has a very explosive overreaction? I mean, you come in at maybe a 3, and all of a sudden they're coming in like an 11. I mean, it's very telling in normal interactions when you feel like, okay, something is off here, something is, is not right. It's the same way with the reverse. If somebody else starts at a 3 and you come at 11 to defeat them, it's only going to make yourself look bad. So we're not gonna, we're not gonna do that. Here's how. Number 1, I'm going to teach you how to hold your line in defending yourself. 2, redirect their tone. It's not your tone, it's redirecting their tone. And 3, how to exit the conversation with control. You ready? If you're ready, type in the chat, ready. There we go. Very cool. Awesome. Number 1, hold your line. This is how I want you to hold your line when it comes to defending yourself. Number 1 is your breath. I know that sounds not all that fun, but believe me, when you start with your breath, you will be in it the whole time. What I love about starting with your breath is that it gives you senses, it gives you choices. When I say senses, I mean a sense of control, gives your own sense of not only am I speaking within my own centered, my own ground, am I holding my ground, am I making sure that I'm where I need to be, you're also making sure that you are regulating your own emotions. How many of you know how much your breath has to do with how you regulate your own emotions, how worked up you get? Now, if you've read my book, you know that Rule 1 in The Next Conversation is all about this. Rule 1, say it with control. Thank you. I see some of you have bought it. Thank you very much. For those that have it, you know that we detail out Rule 1, say it with control, and that let your breath be the first word that you say. That's what the, the first part of that rule is. Let your breath be the first word that you say, because it not only allows you to regulate yourself, it also gives time for them to regulate theirs. That's why sometimes when somebody says something on the offensive and you just give it some time and you breathe, they might say, I'm, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. They understand they just put their foot in their mouth. Well, it's because you gave them the time rather than trying to go on the attack mode. Two, I want you to stay centered. And one of the best pieces of advice that I can give for staying centered is that you use questions rather than trying to punch them in the mouth. That's what we want to do. We want to just uppercut and punch them in the lip. Instead, use questions. One of my favorites is beginning with, "Did you mean?" Somebody says something that is rude, offensive, ugly, and you begin with, did you mean for that to sound rude? Right? Did you mean for that to sound— be offensive? Did you mean to leave me— leave my name out when you were taking credit for my work? Did you mean to try to embarrass me? You see here how whenever I am saying, did you mean— or there's another few others that I like to use, like, how does that make you feel? 'How do you feel when you say that to me?' I've used that one before. 'How do you feel when you say that to me?' Or, 'I'm surprised you said that out loud,' or, 'Did you mean to say that out loud?' You see how using questions is kind of that be like water mentality? I'm not taking what they said and throwing it right back in their face. I'm using a question to take what they said and throw it right back at them, all right, without it ever touching me, without it ever— I'm not carrying any sense of weight. About it. It's me just taking it and immediately sending it right back to them with no weight at all on myself. So using questions like, "Did you mean?" is going to do this. This is why it's important in defending yourself. It gives them the chance to double down, to double down, to decide if what they said is what they want to stick by. And it also gives this sense of grace. And maybe they didn't really mean to embarrass you or say something rude or ugly. They didn't mean for it to come off that way. So it's giving them a chance to clarify it, change it, adjust it. Oftentimes they do. Either way, when it comes to defending yourself in an argument, using questions is your first place to go aside from your breath. 3, I want to emphasize why I always say control the pace. When I say control the pace here, I mean continue to breathe slowly, because some people will start with their breath and then they hold it again. When they're in conversation and they're arguing and they get worked up and worked up and worked up and they start to yell again and realize they're huffing and puffing because they're not breathing. So if you want to control the argument, if you want to control what they're doing, slow down your pace. Meaning you don't have to respond immediately when they say something. You don't have to have this quick comeback. You can take your time. You can take 5 seconds. You can take 10 seconds. Heck, you can take half the day, the whole day to say, I'm going to think about my response. So how much more control you have rather than feeling that just because they pressed your button you have to immediately react in some way. Number 1 is hold your line. Let me say— oh, this is a great question. Um, it just went away. These are coming in fast, but I saw someone say, what's, what's the best way to control your pace? Is you take longer time, uh, time periods before you respond. So if somebody were to throw something at you, take a little bit of time before you respond. Use your breath in between what they say and when you respond, if you respond at all. So for example, when I'm teaching my, my clients in depositions, when I am preparing them for cross-examination, depositions, courtroom, whatever it is, I am teaching them the biggest rule of all is that you get to choose when or if you say anything at all. So you get to choose. Just because the attorney is peppering you with the question, the exchange is going to go as fast as you give it right back. So if you take your time— sometimes some, some people need to— I have to tell them, think 3 Mississippis, which is like 1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi for people who aren't in the U.S., 3 Mississippi. Take that amount of time in your head, then respond, because it has given you a chance to kind of relax yourself. And that controls the pace, meaning they can't do anything. Nobody can make you say anything that you don't want to say. Nobody can force you to speak when they want you to speak. You get to control that. Did you know you get to decide when you speak and what you say at all times? At all times. That's how you hold the line in defending yourself in communication. 2, redirect their tone. How do you redirect their tone? I'm going to quickly shout out a member that we had in the membership. Um, she, she may not be in here, but Megan is, uh, wonderful and dear and a very valued member in the, in the community that we have. And she was talking about a time where when she was at a store, the person who's the cashier was trying to very rude, very ugly, and she felt like it was coming out of nowhere. And this is what I taught her to say when she had gotten that information from someone. I say information— the ugliness came, the snide comment about what she had in her bags, the whole process she had. Right before she left, she said, I don't know what this is about, but I know it's not about me. That's what Megan— that's what we had taught her to say. And she said that once she had said that out loud, the person at the, the cashier lady almost was almost crying and was like, you're right, I'm so sorry, man, I've just had— I've had such a hard day and you don't understand. And started talking about her family and things that she had going on. And like, that is— that's the beauty of not the mem— not just the membership, is the beauty of true communication. When you realize the person you see— what are we talking about in the book? The person you see is not the person you're talking to. Everybody has a surface and the depth. And when you can— and Megan had a choice. She could have zinged something right back. She could have said something really awful, had that quick little clapback, and felt like she told her what's what. Instead, she used a question to redirect her force and say, I don't know what this is about, but this is, this is not about This is not about me. And it just, it melted. It melted the whole situation. So there are countless scenarios like this that we love to champion in the membership, and that's kind of part of the community. We, we, we build each other up and say good job when, uh, you have, when you have wins. Redirecting their tone. Megan, I hope you don't mind me sharing that story. Redirecting their tone, uh, this is how I want you to, to do it. Mean, uh, I want you to— first off, I want you to see how I said don't redirect your tone, perfect your tone, redirect theirs. Because what you're doing is by— instead of— you hear me just getting all my words all jumbled up? This is exactly what I mean. Rather than trying to control what they're doing, we're going to have that same mentality of controlling how we're going to respond to what they're saying. And you do that by what I'm about to teach you redirects their tone. Number 1, point to your rule. Here's an example of that: that's below my standard for response. I teach, and those of you that have been to my classes on boundaries, there is a big difference of people who push your buttons and for people who have been given your manual. That's how I compare it. In the book as well is there are people who you feel like they just push your buttons all the time. You're never going to find your control there. You're always going to feel like your emotions are chasing away. If you have this mindset of giving someone a manual of what you do allow, what you don't accept, then it's a different mindset. Say, that's below my standard for response, or that's below my standard of respect. You see how by using the word standard, that's exactly what I've applied to the conversation. I've just applied that. I've told— I've now told you I have a standard by which I operate. I have a standard of when I speak and when I don't speak, and right now you're not at that threshold. You haven't met that standard. You see how instantly I'm the one that looks like I've come into the conversation with credibility and control? And poise and calmness and clarity. When I let someone know that I have a standard and how I communicate, that I'm not always just out of my pocket and scrambling and, and always off-centered, that's below my standard for a response. That's how you redirect their tone. 2, gatekeep, but not in the way that you might hear someone say gatekeeping their secrets, that they're going to give you What do they say now? Spill the tea? I don't know. Let me give you the tea. Um, what I mean is be the bouncer. If you, then who? Be the bouncer of your own peace of mind, particularly when it comes to communication. That means you're going to begin your sentences with, I don't accept, or I don't allow, or I don't permit. Allow, accept, permit— these are gatekeeping words. These are bouncer words. What are you going to let in and what are you going to let out? Most importantly, what are you not going to let in? So I want to bring up the analogy of remote control and a manual. So if somebody were to say something ugly to me, if I have just given them a remote control to my emotions That means I'm going to yell, I'm going to say something snarky back to them because they are just pressing my buttons and pressing your buttons like a TV remote, right? A manual says the next time they say something snarky, it's this mindset of, hey, if you go to page 83, keep looking, you'll see note B, line A. I don't respond to that volume, or I don't accept that tone. You hear how that's so much more control of, I'm giving you, showing you, if you want to communicate with me, them's the breaks. This is the rules. This is how I'm going to operate. So you speak as if you're talking about the rules to a game. You're not going to be apologizing for it. Say, I'm sorry, but I don't allow, you know, I just don't, I don't really allow people to— no, you're going to talk about it like you're explaining the rules to a new game to someone. This is how I operate. Acknowledge the shift. What I mean by that is you are acknowledging where they are. Maybe they're at 11 and you're saying, yo, I'm here at a 3. You're probably not going to say yo. I don't even say yo. I don't know why I said yo, but there it is. What you're saying is, yeah, I can see, I can hear that you're an 11. I'm going to stay at a 3. So this is an example of that. I'm here to talk. Not be talked over. Now, it's— it is imperative, it is crucial, it is important that you stay at that 3. Don't raise your voice. In fact, I would suggest you go even lower. When you lower your voice even more, when you speak more slowly, can you hear the difference between, like, I'm here to talk, not be talked over? Okay, you hear that? You think they're gonna come down? From their 11 for that. But if I slow my words down and I say, I am here to talk, not be talked over, which one sounds like they have more control? Which one sounds like they have more clarity, that they are very still and grounded to defend themselves? Which one of these people did you hear say, I'm threatened, or I'm not threatened? When you lower your voice and slow down your words, you are signaling to the other person that they are not a threat to you. Their behavior is not a threat to you. That's how you acknowledge the shift. That's how you acknowledge the shift is that you're showing that what they're saying is not threatening to you. And so you're going to stay exactly where you are. It's like you saying, yeah, I see you over there. Over there at 11. That's, that's good. I'm going to stay right here at 3. All right. And you're not at all arguing while they're at 11. You're not trying to yell at them and explain why they should never be at 11 and how dare they should be at 11. You're saying, you do you, I'm staying right here at 3. And what you'll find is that the people who truly want a conversation will slowly inch their way towards you and have a conversation much closer to 3 than you want to be at 11. Here's some quick ones that I added that have been beneficial to me in the past. These are just other little phrases that I have used to redirect somebody's tone. One is, are we arguing? Are we arguing? Are we arguing right now? Almost any time somebody— they will say no, no, no, I'm just having a conversation. You want to hear something Funny, this happened this past weekend. My son and I were in the garage. He's 7, and he was going, "No, no, no, no," and trying to get me to do something that we could not do. I said, "Are we— are you arguing with me?" And he goes, "Yes, yes, I am." I was actually very proud of him. I go, "Okay, all right, well, let's hear it." So yeah, most of the time if you ask somebody, are we arguing? They'll say, no, we're just— I'm just having a conversation. It's like, great, let's keep it at a conversation. Two, I do not imagine facts. This is a great one, not only for gaslighting type of behavior or toxic personalities, but it's great when you just are able to state the facts as they are. Say, I'm not going to argue the feelings of things. I am good with arguing the facts of things. 3, I'll respond to your words, not your behavior. I'll respond to your words, not your behavior. Meaning when somebody's acting ugly and they're saying things, it's a very quick way to say, hey, look, your behavior is getting out of line. If you want to come back to the conversation with me, I'll still be here. All right, that's how to hold your line when it comes to defending yourself. 3, exit with control. Exit with control. Quick and easy on this. One of the first ways you can do that is just simply claim it, meaning you're going to tell someone, I'm going to leave this conversation, and then you do it. Or, I'm going to end this conversation. This happens a lot when I talk about boundaries. So a very common boundary in communication that I teach is to say, I don't accept the way you're treating me, or I don't accept the way you're speaking to me. If you continue to speak to me that way, this is going to be the end of the conversation. Boom, mic drop. This is going to be the end of the conversation. And you just have to be prepared for that consequence. I want you to notice how whenever you claim it, it is so much more powerful than you just getting overstimulated and hanging up the phone or saying, I, I got to get out of here, and you leave and slam the door, right? That, that is not good communication. I would much rather you be on the phone and say, I need to leave this conversation, or I need to end this conversation. Cool. And then you click. You don't say cool, but you— that's when you hang up. Or you're in the room with someone, you say, I need to get out of this conversation, I need to end this conversation, or I'm going to— I'm going to leave the room now. And then you go leave the room. That's, that's you claiming exactly what you're going to do and show that when you say it, you're going to follow through on that promise that you're keeping to yourself. 2, postpone it. This is powerful because it helps you regulate, both of you regulate. If you feel the, what we talk about in the book, the ignition mode, when you're getting worked up and all heated up and both of you are ramping up and yelling, it just becomes a yelling match, get out of that. If it becomes a yelling match, something is wrong. If it's a yelling match, then something is off. So you've both lost control and there's no driving the train. That— those are wild pitches. Those are wild pitches. Like in baseball, when somebody is— a pitcher is tired, they're really, really tired, they've been in the game too long, they're gonna have wild pitches that are gonna be all over the place. So you just understand that that's normal. You need to have a conversation when you're ready for it. And so when you can say, I'm willing to come back to this discussion another time or I want to talk about this in about 30 minutes, or can, can we take a break for about an hour? Anytime you say that kind of thing— excuse me— people are willing to engage in it because they need that time too. Even if you were to say, if you were to say, look, I, I need about an hour because I can tell I'm not ready for this conversation, and I'll be a lot better, I'll be more clear-headed in about an hour. Nobody's going to say no to that. Nobody on the other side is going to say no. You're going to have this conversation right now while you're not thinking clearly. Postpone it. It's going to help you regulate it. End it. Number 3, the final one, is end it. You're telling someone, I'm not going there. I'm not going there. I use this one a lot, particularly in litigation, if the opposing attorney is making some type of comment or trying to bait me. That's what happens a lot of times in the, in the legal world. They will kind of throw out this line or phrase or a few words just to see how you react, because how you react can give a signal to how you're feeling about a particular case— if you feel good about your facts, if you feel bad about them. And sometimes attorneys will kind of use your ear as testing arguments to see which one strikes a chord. Isn't that crazy? And so whenever I just tell them, I'm not going there, I'm not going there, that is a very immediate sign, signal to them of I'm not even going to turn off on that road. I'm not even exiting the highway. I'm not even going to look that way. I'm not going to stop at Buc-ee's. And I love Buc-ee's, which is a gas station. Um, I, I'm not even gonna, not even gonna give that a single thought. It doesn't meet my threshold, right? That goes back to your, your manual. That doesn't meet my threshold. So when it comes to, um, defending yourself in an argument, I, I, what I want you to see, big picture, if we bring it, bring it all together, when it comes to holding your line It has very little to do about what you say back. It has everything to do about you taking what they've said and kind of spinning it back to them using questions. Did you mean for that to hurt me? Using your breath to keep yourself calm and controlled. You see how you don't ever feel like you're off-centered. To try and put this, I like to try and put things in a visual setting. So let's say you're the one who's throwing something ugly at me. Say it's a ball, right? And this is the ugly thing, and you throw it at me. If I decide to catch it and I have to wind up and throw it right back, most of the time, if I— the harder I throw it, the more I'm off-center, right? Then, then I, then I am already off balance. I'm going to say something that's more emotional, say something I don't mean. That's what I don't want you to do. All right, if it is something that it is not worth your time and energy, do not give it. Holding the line means you are always being centered at all times. I'm going to adjust this real quick. And then when it comes to, um, the not just holding their line but redirecting their, their tone, that means you're going to keep better control of yours. When they find that they're at an 11 into the argument, you're going to stay at your 3. Don't try and meet them halfway. Don't try and yell them or out-yell them or out-ugly them. Let that stand all exposed. You're going to slow your breath. You're going to control that pace. You're going to use phrases that show that you have a boundary. That's below my standard of respect. I'm willing to talk, not be talked over. You're going to find ways that It's not going to try to control the other person. You're signaling to them, I'm only here to control myself. You're free to act however you want. This is what I'm going to tolerate and not tolerate. And 3, when it comes to exiting a conversation, I don't want you feeling like you have to throw up your hands, slam the door, hang up the phone, I'm out of here, and have a big emotional send-off. No, you're going to stay centered in the communication, even if that means you need to leave. Because here's the truth, there are some conversations leaving is absolutely the safe move. Part of boundaries is sometimes you leave, you exit, meaning physically get away from someone, get away from a situation. That's where safety is. That's where the safety is. So defending yourself— I don't want you to feel like when you ever— you— whenever you leave a conversation you are in some way weaker. That's, that's what I want to make sure you know. That is, it does not mean that you are weak or that you are less in some way because you need to leave the conversation. It is, in my view, more so a position of strength, but depends how you do it. If you do it in a big emotional outburst, yeah, I can signal weakness. But some people just find that they want to win an argument simply by being the last person standing, and that's, that's no way to communicate. Just make sure you have control of yourself and you can tell them, this is what I'm going to do, this is what I'm not going to do. And if you ever need it, you can always say, I'm not going there. Cool. That's how you control yourself in a conversation. That's how you defend yourself. In an argument. These are the type of classes— I'm going to keep this one short— and I teach a master class every month that are generally about 45 minutes to an hour, so longer, longer than this. And I want to talk to you about it in case you don't know about it. Cool. So this has been one of my life's biggest, um, probably one of my life's biggest things that I've been able to do since being on social media is, is this, the membership. And if you're still watching, I'm telling you, I really want you in it because it has been such a joy to be able to see the transformation of lives in communication and see what people are, are learning and finding and what they're able to build in their own confidence and self-development. And I, I get so many, uh, I really do get emails, or I get— I have tons. My phone, if y'all could see my phone, I have tons of screenshots of people just like this, um, who are part of a master class and membership that we're able to share a lot of great things. So the School of Communication, you get coaching by, by me. I, I have two Q&As that I do, live master classes, and we have lots of practice in it. I'm going to run through it. So I teach my master classes just like I did here, except they're a little bit longer and you get worksheets. So we create worksheets that you're able to interactive, go with me side by side as I walk through these. I have also private coaching. So the 2 sessions I have per month are a whole lot of fun and people are able to ask me questions in real time. I'm able to prepare either ahead of time or we kind of have a hot seat where I answer the questions in real time. So that's a whole lot of fun and everybody's from everywhere. I mean, just different continents. It's, it's, it's a whole lot of fun. I have an AI. I don't know if you— I have not pushed this. I haven't pushed really most of this because all of my focus has been on the book. But I have an AI that has every video, every article, every podcast, every everything from me, and it sounds just like me. So it's spooky but in a cool way because I have people that use it for role-playing arguments in conversations, or, uh, flipping their text messages, like helping their text messages or their emails and how they communicate and work, or situations where they're not sure what to say to a loved one or a spouse or somebody at work. And that's, that's been really cool to hear all the success stories out of that. I have a library of all of my content, which is a whole lot of fun, and, uh, that has allowed me to for anybody to just access every video that they want, because a lot of time I have questions from people on social media, say, hey, I'm looking for this video. Well, it's searchable there in my membership. So you have daily practices where we get flashcards, lots of flashcards and daily prompts for people, and the private community, which is a whole— that's probably my favorite part, is just you, you're in it with a lot of people who have all the same focus as you. I also have it, a collaboration with the Texas Executive Education, the University of Texas at Austin, where we're able to actually give continuing education credits and units for people who want it in my membership. So if you enjoyed this, this member of this masterclass on how to defend yourself in an argument, I want you to consider checking out the membership. Would love to have you there because I do a lot more master classes and teaching and live. They're all live from me in real time and my goofy self, um, when we're doing it. So thank you very much. I, I appreciate you, uh, coming and being a part of today's master class. I'm gonna stick around, uh, for anybody who's watching on the replay. We missed you. So glad that, uh, you're here still watching, and I hope you have a great rest of your day. And everybody here, thank you so much for for coming. Yes, the replay will be up, uh, if you, uh, signed in, registered, you will get the, the replay, no, no problem at all. And then also we'll give you the slides for it so that you can, um, that you can have the stripped-down slides just for the, the notes and everything. So let me just say hi to everybody. I say Angela, Jennifer, Allison, see Joseph, see Daniel. Bye everybody. Yeah, absolutely. There should be a link for if you're wanting to join. Um, I see the, the question. So yes, there's jeffersonfisher.com/membership, but the— there should be a link that's pinned in not only the comments but also in the, the show notes of it. So that's, that's another way to have that. Thanks, Jacqueline. Bye, Evelyn. I'll see you, Brenda. Awesome. Thanks, guys. Thanks for coming. Thanks, Lori. Another great one. Yep, yep. Thanks, everybody. I see Brad, Derek, everybody. Thanks, Stacy. Thanks, Charlotte. I'm so glad you like it, Danae. Bye, Joy. Bye, everybody. Bye. Mm-hmm.