How to earn the respect of your employees...the REAL reason your business isn't growing

In this video today, what I want to share is why so many people do not have the respect of their team. And this is something that I experienced a ton when we were growing our businesses in the very beginning. And it's something that has been really top of mind for me for the last maybe, I want to say, week. In the case of a lot of newer leaders that I've been talking to and seeing where, where things are slipping through the cracks and why the reason is. And what I realized is The reason that a lot of the things aren't going well, or a lot of the reasons that things aren't growing and things aren't feeling good and why the team isn't congealing, it's not because of team, it's not because of the people, it's because of the leader. Right. And I think we all know that. And I think that's a belief that most people who are in business know that it ties back to them in some way, shape, or form. But I think that there's a common misunderstanding of why that is. You know, I think that a lot of people think, oh, maybe I'm not working hard enough. I'm not setting enough of an example. I'm not smart enough. It's all these things, right? I believe that one of the fundamental reasons that people in leadership positions actually don't have the power that they desire and the influence over their teams is not because of the lack of those things. It's the lack of understanding of people and how they treat their teams. And I believe that every time that you do not do right by your team or a teammate, whether they are the right person for your team or not, you lose respect from other people on the team. I'll tell you what sparked this, which was I was talking to one of the operators from one of the companies, and they were talking about a leader that they have been— it's been a discussion for a while that this person probably isn't the right person, but there was a lot of shit going on in the business. And so sometimes you're like, I'm going to let that fire burn for a little bit and take care of these other things and I'm going to come back to this. And during that time, what I had realized is that there had been no coaching done for that person. There had been no warnings. There had been no like, hey, like, this is what you're not doing, because the main issues are just that that person's not doing fundamental parts of a leadership management job, right? They're not holding people accountable. They're not providing transparency. They're not putting KPIs in place. They're not really adhering to the structure that we need for the business to grow. That being said, they weren't told any of that shit. And so the conversation I was having with this operator who is now kind of coming in like, shit, I need to fix all this, is like, you cannot fire that person until they know what they've done wrong. The argument that many people make, and she didn't make this, but a lot of people do make this argument, and this is what I typically get back, is like, well, they're just not a culture fit. And I'm like, that's fine. But the way that you treat somebody on the way out is all that your team is going to be paying attention to. And so does anybody on your team like that person? If the answer is yes, then you have to respect them on the way out and you have to follow the process. Even if you don't like the person, process doesn't give a fuck about how you feel. Okay? And so that's why it's so important that even if you don't like the person, you don't think they're a fit, you realize that you hired the wrong person, all of those things, you still need to do right by them. What I was explaining to her is that the biggest thing on, on their part, right, the biggest reason for them that this is so important is because if that person— this person just happens to be very well-liked by the team. If you don't coach somebody and don't tell them what's wrong and then just fire them out of nowhere, you know who's freaked out? The team is freaked out and they're like, fuck, you just fired the guy. He's awesome. I like him, blah, blah, blah. You know, they don't know what he's not doing well and they don't know that you haven't coached him and all that stuff. They just see what they see, which is like, oh shit, he just disappeared out of thin air. Am I next? Not to mention then they're like, I don't have respect for you. You're not even doing your fucking job as leader. You didn't even tell the guy that he wasn't doing a good job.. And so that's really where they revert back to. And I can tell you this because I've had enough candid conversations with people when I made these mistakes in the beginning of the businesses. And I've heard it enough from employees when other people make the mistakes, they're like, well, you know, fuck this dude. He's not doing his job cuz he didn't let them know that they weren't doing their job. And so this is something I experienced in the very beginning. I made the mistake early on of being like, well, they're not a culture fit, so I'm just gonna fire them and not tell people or not follow the process. Right? I'm not gonna like let them know and all this stuff. Like I'm just, I'm just gonna get 'em out fast.. And what I didn't realize was the repercussions that had for my team. My team was then like, well, Layla, how do I not know you're gonna fire me out of thin air? And I was like, fuck, you don't, right? Because like, all I can tell you is like, they're not a culture fit. But like, I can say that to you, but it doesn't mean you're gonna believe me, right? Actions speak louder than words. And so that was when I realized I was really out of alignment with what was best for my team. It's not about me. It's not even about the person I'm firing. It's about my team. Cause they're the future. They're the ones building the business. And so that's why it's so important that you have to make sure that when you're building the business, you're thinking in terms of when every action you take is seen by your team, right? Are they gaining respect for you or are they losing respect for you? If they knew every single thing you did on a daily basis and how you talk to every person, which they find out that shit anyways, how would they think about you? How would they view you? These are things that you have to consider. I wish that I had known because I think the first year of business for me was really fucking rough because I just didn't think about that shit. You know, I was like, well, I just want to get someone out quickly if, you know, they're not the right fit for the team. And obviously if someone's doing some crazy shit and they're, you know, doing something illegal, I'm going to get them out fast. But if not, if they're just not a culture fit and I just fucked up in hiring them or not setting expectations, then I need to own that and I need to put myself in more discomfort and more pain for longer to make sure I set it up well for the team so they're not freaked out. I'll tell you that I corrected myself. I want to say it was about 14 months into the business. You know, we had someone that was heading a department. They had hired probably 12 people. And what I knew was that they were very well-liked by the team. The team fucking loved this person and the team was very ineffective. And I knew that the root cause was the leader though. And so I was like, well, they're very well-liked by the team. So what I need to go do is I need to go build relationships with the team, coach this person on their performance both at the same time. So I interjected myself. I said, okay, I'm gonna go meet with all everyone on the team. I'm gonna start having relationships with them more than I do now. And then I'm gonna talk to the leader and coach him, you know, up or out essentially. And that went over way better, you know, because obviously people were still shook because they like somebody, they don't want to see them leave. But they weren't like, Leila, I feel like you're going to fucking fire me because the dude knew he wasn't doing his job well and he was on thin ice. And so did the rest of the team because he kind of alluded to it with them. That is why I would suggest, like, if you're struggling trying to figure out why you can't grow your business, half the time it's because the shit that you're doing that you don't even realize you're doing. And there's really like 3 levels if you think about this, right? Where I think that we make mistakes and especially early on we do, or even as we're scaling because things are just moving fast and you're just kind of like, get the fuck out of my way, I'm trying to do this shit and get it done. And this These are what I see, right, is one, we over-fire and over-discipline frontline, and we under-fire and under-discipline management. This is probably the root cause of a lot of issues that happen on a team, and it's all kind of tied into one piece, which is that we're under-disciplined with ourselves. And the reason that all this ties together is we are undisciplined with ourselves, right? And so what we do is we don't coach management and then we go because often we like management. They've been here longer. They might have been someone that we ascended. They've been with us since the beginning. We're typically closer to management, so we have more emotional ties with them, right? Blinds us to their weaknesses. It blinds us to the fact that we're not handling shit that needs to be handled with them. Blinds us to the fact that they might not be the right person for the team. And then what we do is we skip over management, we go to frontline. We're like, why is Sally not doing her fucking job getting these tickets? Closed out each day? And why is Billy not getting the refunds that we asked him to collect? And why is Sally not giving the best customer service? And then we talked to the managers about it. We're like, hey, why is this person not doing their job? Blah, blah, blah. When the actual question you should be asking is, why are you not holding these people accountable to doing their jobs? Why are you not coaching these people and doing their jobs? What happens in businesses that are typically— I want to say it's anywhere between like $1 million a year to usually around $15 to even $20 million a year sometimes is you see this all the time where people pick apart the frontline, ignore management, and then they don't know why they can't scale to $50 or $70 or whatever million per year. It's because they continue to skip over these layers. And the reason that they skip over the management layer is they lack the discipline themselves. A lot of the times you get blinded by likeness of a person, closeness with a person, or the relationships you have with that management team. I think A lot of the times the reason that businesses can't scale and the reason that I know that we were stalled for a while is I didn't have the discipline myself to say these people are no longer fit for management. And I let it go on for way too long. I can tell you that there was, um, one team, it was a technology team, and that is my absolute weakness. Like I don't understand how to do tech. I don't understand technology systems, et cetera. And I don't really have a desire to learn. And, um, I had a leader in that position and what I did is I made the mistake I would constantly look at the team and be like, why are these people not performing? Like, I don't understand. It feels like you just, we just can't get good technology people. And I kept looking at the people on the team rather than the leader of the team and saying like, this is not working. We have to rehire. We kept churning through people so much in that department. Finally, one day I was like, fuck, I just, it's the leader. Right? And so I started working on, you know, coaching with that leader. Unfortunately, it was a long, lengthy, painful process and didn't end well. We had to let that person go. Um, which doesn't mean it ended badly, like it's not a bad thing, um, but you know, it's obviously not something you look forward to doing. But it took me so long, and because of that, the business suffered, right? The systems in the business were fucked up because I didn't have the discipline to say this isn't the right manager. And instead, I was just overlooking the manager and looking at the team. And so if you're wondering why your business isn't growing, honestly, it stems so often from these things, right? Overlooking management and then over-examining frontline and then not realizing that the way that you exit people, the way you exit management, is what loses you respect with the rest of the team. How you coach management, how you fire management, and how you hire management is seen by everybody in the company. And the way that you do it has to be in a way that commands respect from others. Otherwise, nobody's going to respect you. They're going to fear you, and they're not going to want to do their jobs well. I hope that's useful because that is something that I just continue to see time and time again. And I think that it requires a large level of self-accountability. You know, like, nobody's going to tell us to do this shit. This shit sucks. You know, like, people ask me, they're like, well, Layla, I don't like firing people, or I don't like having these conversations. I get super nervous before. You know, I just feel like I— it's like debilitating nervousness. And I'm like, well, fuck, dude, me too. Like, in the beginning, of course. Like, we're all human. We have these reactions. And I think if you're someone who really cares about people, you especially have those reactions. And that means it's especially for you to make sure that you do these things, because if we ignore them, then you're never going to grow your fucking business. You know, like every time you're nervous about something, you just avoid it. Your business will be fucked up. And it's so funny because people ask me, they're like, how'd you grow the business so fast? How'd you build a great team? All this shit. And I was like, dude, it felt terrible. Like I didn't enjoy doing most of it. I don't enjoy— in the beginning, I did not enjoy hard conversations. I did not enjoy, you know, the discipline of making myself have those conversations. They were uncomfortable as fuck and I felt like I was terrible at them. Right? And I did not enjoy firing people, hiring, doing all these things. I didn't enjoy having to have calls on my schedule for 12 hours a day. Like, I didn't enjoy any of it because one, I wasn't good at it, and two, it was uncomfortable because I'd never done it before. And so the unknown is often what scares us. If you're in that spot right now and you're like, fuck, this sounds like what I need to do and where I'm lacking, and but you're like, but I just feel too— just take that out. Like, you just got to say, like, fuck your feelings. Like, I know it's, it's lame, but feelings are just instinctual. They're not logical. I think oftentimes it comes back to that, and your feelings are what are losing you respect from the rest of your team because you continue to disrespect yourself by not giving yourself— by not disciplining yourself enough to be the leader that you know you could be. You're disrespecting your team by not allowing them to have the chance to succeed because you're not holding them accountable, and you're disrespecting the front line and the rest of the team because you are undermining them by not actually coaching and holding their bosses accountable. And so it just fucks up the entire company. And I think that most of the reason, if we get back to like, I can give you this video and I can tell you what you need to do and that this is what is the reason that your business isn't growing. But most people will not watch this video and do shit. And the reason for that is because you can't get past the feelings of nervousness of having the conversations. And you're probably thinking right now, well, here's all the reasons why I shouldn't have these conversations with people. Like, they're actually terrible. I should actually just fire them. I just shouldn't actually have this conversation. There's no reason. Oh, I've already kind of told them. No, you fucking haven't. If you haven't said it in blatant terms, you haven't laid it out clear on the table, hey, here's what I'm thinking right now, I don't think you're a fit for the team, you're sucking here, you're sucking there, and I suck because I haven't told you till now. If you haven't had that conversation, then you have not taken care of this. I hope that this video gets one person to take action because I am also making it for mostly myself as a reminder because it is something that I learned early on and I don't ever want to forget it because it is so often what we look to, you know, I think it's, it's so much easier to look at the symptom rather than the root cause. The root cause is typically ourselves, our lack of discipline and accountability to the business. And then also the lack of discipline and accountability in holding others accountable in the business. And so with that, please, if this is something that's going on in your business, take action, encourage your leaders to take action, encourage your management to take action, um, and enjoy the rest of your bike ride, walk, whatever you're doing while you're watching this YouTube video.