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How to Get Someone to Open Up

Name: How to Get Someone to Open Up
Uploaded: 2025-01-15T13:00:26+00:00
Duration: 53 s
Channel: Shanli Liu, CPA, CTP
Description: In this short instructional video, Speaker A introduces the challenge of getting someone to share more information in a conversation and cites FBI…

15 Jan 2025 · 1 min

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In this short instructional video, Speaker A introduces the challenge of getting someone to share more information in a conversation and cites FBI negotiator Chris Voss as an authority on the topic. Speaker B then explains the mirroring technique: repeat the last one to three keywords of the speaker’s last sentence as a question. By echoing the listener’s words, the speaker feels heard and is prompted to elaborate. The video provides concrete examples—mirroring phrases like “feeling it today?” and “put into words?”—showing how the method encourages deeper disclosure and builds connection.

Chapters

How to get someone to open up in a conversation. When someone tells you something and you need more information or you want to hear more, instead of responding with, "So that's it?" or "That's all?" which now puts a pressure on that person to share and makes them clam up, instead you're going to simply repeat the last few words of their sentence. And to help, here's FBI negotiator and my good friend, Chris Voss. Thanks, Jefferson.
That's right. Mirroring is one of the easiest tools at your disposal. Here's how to do it. Take 1 to 3 of the last keywords of their sentence and repeat them. For example, if somebody says, I don't know, I'm not really feeling it today, you say, feeling it today? They'll go, yeah, I'm stressed about this deadline at work. And then they'll go deeper with you. And if someone says it's hard to put into words, you say, put into words? They'll go, yeah, I find that I struggle with XYZ. Connect to the conversation and you'll connect to the person. And that's how to get someone to open up.