Shanli Liu shares three ways to handle one-uppers: let them do it and recognize it as unwillingness to celebrate you, keep personal updates private and respond briefly, and reframe their behavior as insecurity so you stay non-defensive.
How to handle a one-upper. Number 1, let them. Let them one-up you. For every time you've done something good, they have to show that they've done better. Let them, because what they're doing is informing you. They're telling you, I'm not your person. I'm not the one to share things with. I'm not going to be happy in your successes. And that is highly valuable information. So if they're going to one-up you, you let them. Number 2, create distance. You do that by turning your settings to private. Don't tell them about the good parts in your life. If you have to say something, respond with short, neutral comments like, "That's nice." "That's good to know." "I'm happy for you." When you don't engage, you add distance. And number 3, think insecurity. If you look past their comment and into the insecurity as to why they're doing it in the first place, it keeps you from getting defensive and taking it so personally. And that's how to handle a one-upper. So try that and follow me.
