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How to handle belittling comments

Name: How to handle belittling comments
Uploaded: 2026-01-01T21:33:47+00:00
Duration: 41 s
Channel: Shanli Liu, CPA, CTP
Description: In this segment of the YouTube video, Shanli Liu, CPA, CTP, explains a practical approach to responding to rude or belittling remarks. Rather than…

1 Jan 2026 · 1 min

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In this segment of the YouTube video, Shanli Liu, CPA, CTP, explains a practical approach to responding to rude or belittling remarks. Rather than retaliating or matching the aggressor’s negative tone, the speaker advises using reflective questions such as “Did you mean to upset me?” or “Did you intend for that to hurt me?” to mirror the speaker’s intent back onto them. This technique shifts the spotlight onto the aggressor, encourages self‑reflection, and helps prevent the conversation from escalating into a losing game of matching energy.

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Let's say that you said something that wasn't very nice, something belittling, and I found it kind of rude. Rather than me picking it up and throwing it right back at you and saying something worse, instead I'm going to ask and begin with, did you mean— did you mean to upset me? Did you mean for that to hurt me? When you say things like, did you, it is taking the spotlight that was on you and reflecting it right back onto them. Did you intend for that to hurt me? Did you want that to upset me? These are questions that instead of trying to match their energy, which is a losing game, instead you are simply going to reflect. You're gonna mirror back what you're getting.