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How to Have a Difficult Conversation

Name: How to Have a Difficult Conversation
Uploaded: 2024-11-21T17:09:04+00:00
Duration: 43 s
Channel: Shanli Liu, CPA, CTP
Description: In this concise instructional video, Shanli Liu, CPA, CTP, outlines a three‑step framework for navigating difficult conversations. First, she advises…

21 Nov 2024 · 1 min

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In this concise instructional video, Shanli Liu, CPA, CTP, outlines a three‑step framework for navigating difficult conversations. First, she advises opening with gratitude—thank the other person for making time—rather than small‑talk. Second, she recommends immediately framing the issue as a request for help ("I need your help with X"), which repositions both parties from opponents to teammates. Third, she suggests concluding by sharing one’s own feeling of progress and then asking, "How about you?" while remaining silent, allowing the other person space to respond. The speaker emphasizes that following these steps creates a respectful, collaborative environment for tackling tough topics.

Chapters

If you're about to have a difficult conversation, do this. Number 1, don't start with how are you. Difficult conversations aren't the time for small talk. The first thing that should come out of your mouth is thank you for making time to talk to me. Number 2, your very next sentence is I need your help with X. I need your help knowing what to do about this. I need your help knowing how to feel about this. As long as you start with I need your help, you take it from opponents to teammates. Number 3, when it's time to end the conversation, you can wrap it up by saying something like, well, I feel more settled about this, or I feel like we're headed in a better direction. But you have to follow Follow it up with, "How about you?" and then just be quiet. Now, they might say something, they may not. That's totally up to them. But the important part is that you made space for it. And that's how you have a difficult conversation. So try that and follow me.