In this short video, Shanli Liu, CPA, CTP, explains a practical method for staying in control during a disagreement. She argues that raising one's voice signals weakness and loss of control, and instead recommends speaking slowly and firmly while trimming unnecessary filler. By repeating the core statement—e.g., "I am not going to do that"—the speaker projects confidence and authority, which helps maintain control over the conversation.
Want to maintain control in an argument? Here's how to do it. So this is one of my favorites because it works every time. If you want to maintain control in an argument, do not raise your voice. As soon as you raise your voice, you're telling the other side that the words of your argument, your position, aren't strong enough. Number 2, you're not getting your way, which is exactly what they want. And number 3, you're trying to overcompensate to make yourself sound threatening to gain control when really it just shows you're losing control. So instead of raising your voice, Repeat back to them what you said slowly and firmly. For example, let's say you're raising your voice and you say, "I already told you I am not going to do that!" Instead, cut out the "I already told you" part and repeat back to them slowly, "I am not going to do that." That's how you maintain control. So try that and follow me.
