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How to Not Get Defensive #shorts

Name: How to Not Get Defensive #shorts
Uploaded: 2024-03-10T19:00:31+00:00
Duration: 38 s
Channel: Shanli Liu, CPA, CTP
Description: In this short instructional video, speaker Shanli Liu, CPA, CTP, explains a practical method to avoid becoming defensive during arguments. She emphasizes…

10 Mar 2024 · 1 min

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In this short instructional video, speaker Shanli Liu, CPA, CTP, explains a practical method to avoid becoming defensive during arguments. She emphasizes that another person's words are not the listener's responsibility and likens the interaction to a non-competitive exchange. The core technique involves visualizing the speaker's words as if spoken into an empty room and inserting an 8‑10 second pause before responding. This pause forces the other person to reconsider their statement, removes the impulse to retaliate, and allows the listener to regain control of the conversation. The video concludes with a call to try the method.

Chapters

How to not get defensive in your next argument. In case you forgot, other people's words are not your responsibility. It's not tennis or volleyball. Instead of hitting it back over the net and saying, "Me? Well, what about you?" or "Well, let me tell you something." No, you don't owe them that. There's no scoreboard. You let their words fall to the ground as if they spoke out into an empty room. You do that by adding pauses into the argument, 8 to 10 seconds of silence. When you do that, there's nowhere else for their words to go except back to them. And make them rethink, "Is this really what I want to say?" When you let that pause linger, you're the one who takes back control. So try that and follow me.