Trial attorney Jefferson Fisher explains the difference between reacting and responding in heated conversations. He recommends a breathing technique: inhale to digest what the other person said, exhale to center yourself, then speak. Making your breath the first word helps you avoid impulsive reactions.
How to respond in your next argument instead of reacting. My name is Jefferson Fisher. I'm a trial attorney in Texas, and I teach people how to argue and communicate. At some point in a conversation, there will be friction, and that friction will lead to conflict. Now you have a choice. You can either react to what they said, or you can respond to it. Think of it this way: reacting to what they said is uncontrolled. Whatever comes out is whatever you say. But responding to what they said, you never take your hands off the wheel. So this is what I do to make sure that I am responding and not reacting in an argument. I make sure that my breath is the first word that I say. Now, it's not a sigh, it's not a huff, it's a breath. Meaning that when I breathe in, I'm digesting, taking in what they said, and when I breathe out, I'm settling on it. And I'm centering myself to make sure that I have a controlled response and not allowing my reaction to control me. So try that and follow me.
