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Next Time You Get In An Argument With Somebody...

Name: Next Time You Get In An Argument With Somebody...
Uploaded: 2024-07-28T21:00:11+00:00
Duration: 35 s
Channel: Shanli Liu, CPA, CTP
Description: In this brief monologue, the speaker advises that when someone says something hurtful, the instinct to retaliate with a mean comment is…

28 Jul 2024 · 1 min

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0:35

In this brief monologue, the speaker advises that when someone says something hurtful, the instinct to retaliate with a mean comment is counterproductive. Instead, they suggest reframing the objective of the interaction: aim to decrease the likelihood of future hurtful remarks rather than simply venting anger. By redefining the goal, one can consider alternative responses that address the underlying problem and ultimately achieve the desired outcome without escalating conflict.

Chapters

Let's say you get into a snafu with someone. They say something that hurts your feelings. You might want to say something mean back, but what we really want to do is decrease the likelihood that this occurs. And so if you think about that as the frame of your objective, your stated goal, then if you say something mean back, does that decrease the likelihood that they will say something mean to you? No. If I wanted to decrease the likelihood that they say something mean, what would I do instead? And so then you start solving the problem differently. And so then what happens is you end up getting what you want. But it might not be the way that you at first would immediately react.