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Phrases to AVOID to sound more assertive

Name: Phrases to AVOID to sound more assertive
Uploaded: 2024-07-08T19:10:43+00:00
Duration: 48 s
Channel: Shanli Liu, CPA, CTP
Description: In this concise instructional video, Shanli Liu, CPA, CTP, outlines three common phrases that undermine assertiveness and provides stronger alternatives…

8 Jul 2024 · 1 min

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In this concise instructional video, Shanli Liu, CPA, CTP, outlines three common phrases that undermine assertiveness and provides stronger alternatives. The first phrase, "I hate to bother you, but...," pre‑labels the speaker as a bother and should be replaced with a neutral request such as "When you get a few moments, I'd like to grab your attention." The second habit, ending statements with "Does that make sense?" implies doubt; a better approach is to invite feedback directly, e.g., "Do you have any questions? Do you have any thoughts?" The third discouraged expression, "I don't want to" or "I don't like to," can be reframed as a preference statement like "I prefer that you didn't," which signals a personal standard rather than a negative. The video emphasizes that these adjustments help the speaker project confidence, respect the listener’s time, and maintain a clear, assertive tone.

Chapters

If you want to sound more assertive, avoid these 3 phrases. Number 1, "I hate to bother you, but..." You just labeled your behavior. Now before you even say a word, the other person is thinking, "This is going to bother me." But when you're being assertive, you don't bother anybody. You get their attention. So instead, try this. Just say, "When you get a few moments, I'd like to grab your attention." Number 2, when you end a sentence with, "Does that make sense?" Don't doubt your ability to send a message or doubt the other person's ability to receive it. Just carry them along with you and say something like, "Do you have any questions? Do you have any thoughts?" Number 3: "I don't want to" or "I don't like to." It sounds much more assertive when you state it in terms of a preference. For example, "I prefer that you didn't." What it signals is that you have a standard by which you hold yourself, and what they're asking you to do is deviate from that. And that's how you sound more assertive. So try that and follow me.