Stop Caring What Others Think of You So Much

The easiest way to lose in life is to try to avoid looking bad. So you have to stop caring about what other people think of you. I'm Alex Hormozi, I own acquisition.com. It's portfolio companies that generate last year over $250 million in aggregate revenue. Along the way, I've had to work and push through a lot of things that other people disagree with. I had to lose friends along the way, people who didn't agree or approve of my lifestyle, family as well. And so this video is just going out to anyone that resonates with that, or you're in a period of life where you know you need to separate from the pack in order to create the new pack that you want to be a part of. And so what I want to do is give you some reframes on how to change your perspective on how other people see and think of you. That won't necessarily make it easier to not care about what they think, but more so still allow you to operate anyways. Because at the end of the day, the work just needs doing. And so number 1, ignore the opinions of losers. So hear me out. Richer people won't judge you for saving your money. Fitter people won't judge you for cutting calories or packing your food or deciding to eat a certain way, right? Higher status people aren't going to judge you for cutting bad friends. It's the people going nowhere who have the most to say because they have nothing to do. And so take the fact that they have something to say as an indication that they're not doing anything else with their time, not that it's some sort of sign that you need to change your life or change direction. You're probably on the right path. They are leading indicators. Their hate, their snide remarks, the little like, you're missing this, you're not doing that. Those are actually positive indicators despite the fact they hurt because you're kind of still transitioning your programming from the way that you used to be to the way that you want to be. And so if you're trying to be successful and you're facing big life decisions, don't listen to the people closest to you. Listen to the people who are closest to your goals. And I think that if you were in a situation where there's no one around you who's close to your goals, then it means that you're going to have to consume information from the outside. It's almost like you have to separate your brain from your body. You need all your consumption of information to be from people who are where you want to be, and you can have your body for now in a place where it doesn't want to be. But in time, once your reality catches up, you can actually move your body to a place that now makes it even easier for you to consume the things that you need to get to where you want to go. And so fundamentally, if you don't want someone's life, don't take their advice. If you don't like the way they live, if you wouldn't swap places with them, if you don't like the way they have a relationship with their wife or their girlfriend, or you don't like how they think about work, or you don't like how if they're, you know, not in shape, they're not in any of the— you don't envy them in any domain, why would you value their advice? And if you think this is something that I'm saying because I'm trying to do it from a pedestal, like, I promise you, like, I gain nothing from these videos. Like, and if you're like, why does Alex even bother making these videos rather than just like all the business stuff that I normally talk about, because these, these concepts were the things that laid the foundation for me to do the things I had to do in business. If I didn't have this base level programming, I couldn't do anything else afterwards. And so I also don't say this to somebody who didn't go through that. Like, for me, the hardest decision in my whole life, the hardest decision that I ever had to go through, was quitting my job. And it sounds like such a basic thing, but for me, the job that I had was basically the culmination of everything that I had done at that point. Like, I was caring about college I was going to go to in middle school. I know that's very hard for some people to grasp because that's like not your reality, but for me, that was reality. I remember thinking, are they going to look at my 8th transcripts. Like, I didn't know. And to be fair, I was a little bit lied to by my parents, but like, we'll just leave it like that, right? And so when I went to high school, like, the extracurriculars that I took, the fact that I was a 3-sport varsity athlete, the fact that I wanted to become the literary magazine editor-in-chief for my high school and vice editor of the newspaper, like, I did all that stuff because I wanted to get to college. And when I went to, you know, study for the SAT and I got into Vanderbilt, and then when I went to Vanderbilt, I graduated in 3 years because I was like, if I do that— and while I was there, I was vice president of the powerlifting team and president of my fraternity. And like, while I was there, I was like, okay, if I max this this transcript, maybe, just maybe, I'll get a great job. And I did get a good job out of college. I had a white-collar consulting job, which is kind of like one of the— you either go investment banking or consulting at the high-echelon schools. And so like, this job was the culmination of everything that I'd done in my life at that point. And here's the part that really sucked, is that like, for me, my dad was really happy with my life. He and I would get lunch a couple times a week. He would just like, he would, you know, brag about, you know, his son who's the businessman. I was working as a consultant, I was a businessman. He's like, you're following the plan. He's like, you do this for a few years, you go back to business school, get your MBA, you do the next thing, right? And so it was always the next thing. The thing is, is that it was this— it was a path, and I knew that me getting off of it literally meant that I had to forsake basically all the friends that I had locally in Baltimore because I came back home. Second, because all the guys that I knew who followed the same path, me stepping off that path is almost me— it's like unspoken talking about the path that they're still following. And I think that's the really nasty one, is that if you start doing something different than everyone else is doing, they assume that attacking them for living their lives out. I don't know why people do this, but they do it. And so a lot of ways they want you to fail because they want confirmation that the path that they're on is the right path. And they want you to fail with the risk that you choose to take because it confirms the fact that they, that they shouldn't take the risk that they weren't willing to take. And so don't be upset when people have these snide remarks. It's because they're actually protecting their own egos. It took me a lot longer to figure that out. And so just reminding myself that like, hey, I've been able to boil down almost all criticism from other people in my life to this statement. So please listen to it carefully. You do live in a way that I would prefer. That's all it is. Every single remark— why are you doing this? It just comes down to you live your life in a way that I wouldn't prefer. And the answer to that is, of course not, because it's my life. You should live your life in the way that you prefer. Why should I live my life in the way that you prefer? That makes no sense. But what— as soon as I got that translation, that reframe, it somehow just like— it was like the volume of the world turned down for me. Oh, okay. Why aren't you going to be at this guy's— the fantasy football thing? Where could you go to this destination? When I was like, dude, I'm trying to save money. I don't like— I can't afford that in time. I can't afford that with money, you know? And that's why I'm like, I got some back, you know, online where I was like, hey, I didn't go to a lot of friends' weddings when I was in my 20s. They're like, these are once in a lifetime things. Hey, first off, half fucking divorced. Second off, the thing is, is like, if they're real friends, like real, real friends, a couple things. One, if they're real, real friends, they won't care because you're actually real friends. Second, if they're real, real friends, you probably only have like 2 of them, like real friends. If you're like, no, I've got like 40 friends, like, you don't have— like, you have acquaintances. You have people you've met who invite you to pay money to come to their thing, their party. It's just a party. That's all it is, right? Obviously, for those of you religious, whatever, there's that too, don't get me wrong. But even so, your attendance does not in any way impact the quality of their marriage. It also doesn't really impact the quality of their friendship. And if your friendship is lost, a lifetime of friendship is lost over your attendance over a party, then you're probably— it's probably not a friendship worth keeping. And so that was always my perspective. Two of the closest friends I had, I actually couldn't— is so crazy— two of the weddings that I probably would have considered going to during that decade both happened within the same two weeks, and Layla and I both got COVID in those two weeks. And so I actually didn't go to the two weddings I probably would have gone to. Now guess what? I'm still friends with both of them, and they don't care. So it's this idea, because when you're a kid or you're younger, feel like these massive milestones. But like, as you get older, like, this stuff just shrinks into irrelevance. It just doesn't matter. The things that do matter is that the relationship you had wasn't going to be predicated on whether you attended something, a party. So number 2, extreme people get extreme results. Now, this one's near and dear to my heart. So I'll tell you why. So my father's a big believer in astrology, so zodiac stuff. So my whole upbringing, he was like, you're, you know, he had all these books, these big fat books on like what your life's going to be and all this kind of stuff. And my dad's a smart guy, he just likes it. So anyways, I'm a Leo 2 or 3. I think I'm a Leo 3, and he's a Libra. So Libras are balances. And so I would say that if there was one thing my dad repeated to me the most throughout my entire upbringing, the most, the number one most repeated statement was balance. You'd always say balance, balance. You just say there's one word: balance, balance, balance. Because he was like, you're so unbalanced, you're so extreme. And this one's near and dear to my heart because I was told my whole life that I was unbalanced, that I was too extreme, that I was too hardcore, that I was too all in, that I was too obsessive about everything. And I honestly had to fight to be me. And I'm making this because it's not common to be unbalanced. It's more common to be mediocre. Like, the people who obsess about work-life balance tend to be mediocre at both. And so, like, if you want something, you have to go get it. It's, it's like this entropy. Like, the world will try to drag you down and make you a part of it. It will try to dilute who you are. It will try to make you fit into the mold that they accept. And so, like, you have to be willing to be extreme to get an extreme result, because many of the goals and aspirations you have probably are above average. Like actually, if you look at it, you're like, I want to make $1 million a year. Fine. Guess how rare that is. You want to guess? It's not 1%. 1% is $600K in the US. And if you're global, forget about it. So you want to make $1 million a year? That's not even a 1 out of 100 goal. It's a 1 out of 200, 1 out of 300 goal. And you have that goal and you think that somehow you're going to behave like the 299 and get there. It's not normal. It's unbalanced. You have to take unrelenting, obsessive amounts of action. For a disproportionate period of time where you get zero reward for doing so. If anything, you just get disproportionate punishment for taking this. And you get— and you question your own sanity half the time because you're like, am I just being crazy? Is it insane for me to have these aspirations, these goals, these dreams for my life? And everyone around you will tell you yes, because it's in their best interest, because it makes it— your failure protects their ego. And so people demand success but refuse to work, right? They won't work weekends. People want opportunity but won't talk to strangers. People claim ambition, but they sleep in every day, right? We're the result of our actions, not our aspirations. So many people have the same goal as you, but very few of them will do the same work as you. And so you have to have uneven work to have an uneven goal. Yeah, broke the leash when I left. I was like, it was fucking— my dad was like, I'll see you never. So number 3, and this is a big one, raise your standards. Now, a lot— what's interesting about standards more than the other first 2 things that I just brought up is that standards actually have to come down to beliefs of what you think is possible. And the beliefs of what you believe are possible create the construct within which you live your life. And so we live inside of prisons of our own making based on our belief system. And so if you want to change your life, you have to change your belief system. Now, I'm not getting woo-woo, calm down. A belief system is just a different way of saying things that you know or believe to be true. These are just the facts that you live on. Now, the thing is, is we can't double-check every single thing that we believe because we can't— it just would take too long, right? As a human being, if you— every single thing you had to fact-check. So the vast majority of the things that we believe and take as true were just given to us by other people. It's what I find very interesting about about this is that we are so hesitant to question our beliefs when in reality almost none of our beliefs are our own. They're not yours, they're someone else's. And so I'll say something that I can maybe just do my very best to translate to you. For many people, working around somebody who's a super high achiever, a super high performer, shifts their worldview because they, they see a different way of operating. And a lot of it comes down to what that person demands and expects of the world. In reality, I'll give you an example. So I'm relatively good friends with Jimmy, MrBeast, just from happenstance. We've, we've created a good friendship. And I've read Elon's biography by Walter Isaacson, and Jobs— some of the friends that I have that are, you know, billionaires and whatnot, they have this streak. And the streak is a level of unreasonableness around their goals and what they believe to be possible that they just do not accept less. And so Munger said this thing that I really like a lot. Charlie Munger, he said, never underestimate the man who overestimates himself. And I think there's something to that. Like, he, Charlie Munger, hated men who had big egos, crazy aspirations. He thought it was really risky, but at the same time, he also said they tend to win. And I think that there's a huge element of truth. Like, I think many people who know me would consider me to be one of the most unreasonable people that they have met. And it's not like in a way of purposely trying to be combative with other people, but more so when you witness someone say, hey, I need this done tomorrow, and then one by one disassembling every single person around them who tells them why it can't be done. And then once the 20 different voices who've told them why their idea can't work, and they've just eviscerated every single one of It's like, great. So tomorrow then, right? It's like they will stand there. They will take the brunt of the storm from the whole army to be like, I know this is possible. Tell me why physically we cannot do this. If you cannot break it down to physics, then it is possible and we're going to do it. Tell me what is stopping us. And then just systematically destroying every one of these obstacles to make something that for most people will seem impossible, possible. And so the thing is, is like of the people that I've seen that have just been absolutely crazy high performers, they've all been like this. And so the thing is, is that it's so rare. And so if you have this drive, this determination, this thing inside of you, like, why isn't anyone think this is so important? Like, this is the most important thing, right? And so there's this great visual that I want to draw for you real quick. Hopefully I won't mess up my little clean, clean slate here, but I'm going to draw for you because I really love this. So Paul Graham, who's the founder of Y Combinator, had this little tweet about this that I really like. And he said, if you have intelligence, you know, on one line here, and then you have determination on the other line, he said, let's say you've got 100 points, like you're building a character for a video game on either side of this line. He said, if you take down determination, you know, one point at a time and you keep intelligence, pretty quickly you have this very smart person who doesn't do anything and convinces themselves that like nothing, nothing will happen. He said, but the interesting thing is that if you keep taking intelligence down, he said, you can keep going. But when you have somebody who's 100 out of 100 determined, he's like, they tend to just still be very successful. He said, which is why determination, even more so, far more so than intelligence, is the determinant of success. And so when they look at that in Y Combinator, how do you operationalize determination? So determination from a behavior perspective, in my opinion, comes down to the— it's, it's an extinction curve. All right, so an extinction curve, I'll give you a simple example. I'll give you two examples to drive it home. Let's say you knock on a door, right? No one opens or nothing happens, right? So that's a null outcome. You do something, nothing happens. Some people will knock again. They have a longer extinction curve than somebody only knocks once, nothing happens. A smaller percentage, a much more percentage, will knock a third time, nothing happens. A significantly smaller percentage will knock a fourth time, nothing happens. A significantly smaller percentage will knock a fifth time, and it's the maniacs who will stand there and then knock the fucking door down because they believe somebody's on the other side. And if no one is, then they'll just pay for— they get the door fixed because they were really confident that there was somebody on the other side. The thing is, is that when you behave that way in the world, that extinction curve, that is determination. How many times can you continue to act without seeing the results of your action? That is the determination. You want something and you will just continue to bang. And maybe it's you knock on the door, then you jiggle the handle, then you look through the window, then you go around back. Like, there are so many people that off the first knock stop. And so I use the example of just knocking it again and again, but the reality is that you typically will knock multiple times, knock louder, shout, look through the window, go around back, call the phone, text, see if there's a Find My Friends, text their friend to see where they're at. Like, there's— how many doors will you go through or will you break down to get what you want? That is determination. Basically, the goal doesn't change. How you get there, you don't care about. You just care that you get there. And so that trait above all else— and this is something that I have witnessed with Beast and the few billionaire friends that I have, and just what I've read from, from Elon and, you know, Steve Jobs, is like the unwillingness to shake from what they believe to be true. And so the thing is, is that this isn't permission to act like a dick, but it is permission to say that if someone can't disprove why what you think is possible is possible, that you absolutely can hold on to that with white knuckles and say, no, we will figure it out, and you will tell me what obstacles are in the way, and one by one we will dismantle them until all that is left is the goal. And so here's the tough reality that I had to realize, and I used to repeat this to myself sometimes other people's dreams have to die in order for yours to live. And I remember having to say that to myself because all it is is that they have aspirations for my life. I'm never going to listen to someone whose aspirations for my life are smaller than my own. Like, don't take advice from someone who has smaller dreams for you than you. And so the thing is, is that my dad, believe it or not, because he had higher fear around risk— and so it wasn't out of malintention, it wasn't out of malice, it wasn't because he didn't want me to possess He didn't want me to be a failure more than he wanted me to be a mega success. Because if you think about it from a parent's perspective, you are your parents' biggest burden. I heard this on a little short the other day. I loved it. You are your parents' biggest burden. You are the thing they worry about 24 hours a day, all day long. And the thing they're worried about is that you're going to make it. And make it for them is just that you're a productive member of society, that you're happy, you could feed yourself. That's fundamentally what they want. They want you to have a good family. Family. They want you to have something that you don't hate and that you can make money doing. That's it. That's— to be fair, that's a high bar in some places. But the thing is, is that your dreams for you might be higher. But if your dreams are higher, so too might be the risk you're willing to take. And so they have a different risk apparatus than you do, and it makes sense because for you, it's like— think about how, how scared they are of you getting hurt, of something bad happening to you. So it makes sense they act that way. It's not you doing something dumb. Now don't get me wrong, you might be doing something stupid. But the thing is, is that the good news is like, unless you die, you can still get back up and try again. And so for me, it took me realizing that the people who were telling me what I need to do with my life had smaller goals than me, because if I told them what I really wanted, they'd be like, dude, get real. And so you might have that too. Some people in your life may be like, be realistic. It's like, I'm not trying to be realistic, man. I got one life. I'm gonna die. And here's the crazy part, is that life is short, but youth is even shorter. And so use it while you got it. So So number 5, and this was, this one's uncomfortable. Pain is a prerequisite to progress. So I remember saying something about this a while back and I had a bunch of comments that I saw of people being like, as soon as this guy said pain is progress, I was out. And I can already tell you, I know that they're not going to be successful. And it's not that I'm saying that, like, I want you to go through pain. I don't think anyone wants someone to go through pain, but I think that you want someone to grow and think about the reason they call them growing pains. It's because as soon as you stretch past your potential, as soon as you get into an area that you haven't done before, it's uncomfortable. And so to get the adaptation from the extra stress, you have to have the extra stress to get the adaptation. And so you can beat 99% of people without being smarter or luckier, but by being willing to endure pain and uncertainty. That's a big one. Uncertainty for longer, because the fastest growth periods are often the most miserable.. And so if you want progress, get used to pain. And I love this quote from Paul Graham. I referenced him earlier, but if you want to earn $1 million, you have to endure $1 million worth of pain. And so I said, there's two kinds of categories there. One is the actual pain and the other is the uncertainty. But the thing is, a lot of the pain comes from the uncertainty. Like what's interesting about this is they've done this little experiment with mice. And I remember reading about this and being like, that makes so much sense. So a mouse that gets dropped into water, water, right? We'll do its little mouse paddle, whatever, and then eventually drown after like however many, you know, minutes. If they took that mouse, drowned it, and then right before it was about to, you know, die, they, uh, pulled it back up, dried it off, and then put it back in, it went like 30 times longer. It wasn't even— it wasn't like 20% longer, 50%, it was like 30 times longer. It stayed above because it knew there was a chance of survival. And so the first mouse who then gives up at the 30-minute mark rather than like the 60-hour mark or something insane is everyone, because we don't know if we're going to make it until you make it. You don't, you don't get the second— you don't get the human or whatever who pulls you out and then puts you back in. You don't know that. And so you just have to have faith that if you keep paddling, if you keep your head above water, you'll eventually make it to where you're trying to go. And so it's the uncertainty that we have to battle. This is why like I do every once in a while make these types of videos because like it's the stuff between your ears, it's the beliefs you have about the world that ultimately allow you to persist and continue when things don't work. Because I want to be honest with you, like 2025 has been by far the hardest year of my— well, hardest year in the last 8 years. Out of the last 13, it's my 5th worst, right? But out of the last 8, it's a local minimum. It's the worst year I've had almost in the last decade. And I bring this up because so people have heard of hedonic adaptation, right? You get used to pleasure very quickly. What they don't talk about is that you also get used to pain. So you habituate, you get used to things quickly. So it actually does work on both sides. But here's the nasty part. The reason entrepreneurship and growth is so difficult is that you do not adapt to pain if the pain changes in intensity or variety. And so if you want to effectively punish someone, then you want to change the variety of punishment and the intensity of punishment. And so the thing is, is that life is exceptional at doing that for you. And I love this saying life doesn't fight fair and neither does business. And so the thing is, is that you have to fight regardless. You have to fight nonetheless and you have to win. And that means that whatever, whatever, whatever software you have to install, whatever belief system you need to have, you do whatever it takes. And so I wasn't planning on sharing this, but I'm going to, I'm going to do it now because I think it's, I think it's relevant. So I just had a friend of mine from a long time ago who came out to visit me and he had started a business and it was in an industry that I know a lot about. And over that time period, he never once reached out to me for help or anything closing the business down. And so when he came out, I was like, dude, what the hell? And he said, if I was going to fail, I wanted it to be my own. I didn't want it to be— I didn't want anyone else to kind of like have a part of that. I wanted to like— I wanted to own the outcome regardless. And I was like, like, I heard that and I just thought to myself, like, what a terrible way to see the world. Because my perspective is entirely different than that. Mine is I want to win no matter what. And if I need to ask for help from 100 different people, it doesn't matter how many people I help because it is my fault no matter what, whether I win or not. And so it's also my responsibility to do everything in my power to win. And so I get no points from anyone by losing on my own. I get no points for doing it on my own because at the end of the day, you're never gonna have done it on your own. You were born from somebody else. My dad came here, came as an immigrant. See, so did my mother, right? Both my parents are first-generation immigrants, not born here. So like, everything I have is because of them. Okay, I'm also born in America, I'm a white guy, I've got good genetics, whatever. Like, there's 100 things that are out of my control, but if you don't play card you have, then what are you doing? And I'll tell you the story that my dad told me, and it was actually like really impacted me. There was a period of time where I felt like I came out of academia, so I had the guilt, right? The guilt of privilege that they try and instill in you. What a fucking handcuff, by the way. Anyways, so I told this nonsense to my father and he said to me, do you think Shaquille O'Neal was like, I can't play basketball. I'm 7'1". It's not fair to other people for me to play basketball. Ball because like this is like I'm so— I have such an advantage. And he just looked at me, he's like, play the cards you have. He's like, you can't play basketball, you're not 7'1". He's like, but you can do this, so do it. Like, if you're good at something or you have some natural predisposition, by all— by every means possible, knock on every door, bang the door down if you have to. Get the opportunities that you want to. Like, what's your downside? Shame? Shame is your downside? Someone wagging their finger at you saying you broke a that doesn't exist, that I made up to make you feel bad, them, you're gonna die, and so are they. So get, get what you want. So number 6: success demands courage. So what's interesting is that I think Peter Thiel said this, or maybe I'm just making that up: courage is in far shorter supply than intelligence, and so a man with twice the courage and half the advantages will always beat a man with twice the advantages and half the courage. There it is. And Peter Thiel said this: courage is in far shorter supply than genius. There's a lot of really smart people There aren't a lot of very courageous people. And he's talked about this and I agree. There's an interesting, you know, observation you can make is like, why are there so many kind of like autistic founders that build these big companies? And his thesis, which I agree with, is that many of them just miss social cues. And so because they're less affected by the social criticism and social rules that other people choose to adhere to, even though it's entirely arbitrary and made up, they're able to operate in a world without those rules, a world that's significantly more of their own making. And so that's the construct they choose to live in. And so right now you have likely the things that are causing you fear are rules you made up or rules that other people told you that you chose to believe. The way that you conquer those rules, at least the ways that have helped me, is playing it out. It's like, okay, like fear exists in the vague, not in the specific. So when someone says, I'm going to be a failure, that's vague. What does that mean? It means that you Tried something, it didn't work? Is that what you mean? Well, because that happens all the time, right? It can't be that. No, what is it? Well, other people would know what— that you tried something and it didn't work. Okay, does that mean that you give up forever? Because that would make you a failure, not just trying again. Because if you kept trying again, would you still be a failure if you tried a second time? Well, I guess if I was still trying— yeah, you're still trying. You're still trying. You're not a failure. You're still trying. Okay, well, I— what if I lost all my money? Well, guess what? 60% of America has no money. Welcome. 60% of America is like literally less than $0. They literally have less money than they owe. But even so, does sleeping on your couch or living in a worse neighborhood or not having as good of a car, does that make you a failure? I think it, like, it's still way better than the vast majority of the rest of the world. And so, like, in the Western or developed world, your worst-case scenario is you get free housing and free food. That's your worst-case scenario. I think the true downside is believing their lie and then living the rest of your life as a slave to someone else's dreams. Real quick, guys, I wrote these two books. One will help you make whatever the thing that you're selling is better so that you can get more people to buy it at way higher prices. And this one is about getting the world to find out about it, which is how do you get leads? And these together can help just about anyone get their business started or scale their business from wherever it is to significantly bigger. I spent more time on these books than any piece of content by a mile, and I think in aggregate they have like 32,000 5-stars on Amazon. And so if you want them, I'm sure there's a link somewhere and you can find them on Amazon too. And if you're poor and don't have $20, you can go to acquisition.com/audio books. And I'll send you the audio version of this for free. Number 7, be okay with no one cheering for you. Think of it like this. No one cheers for you not drinking for a day or not smoking on a long drive or not overeating for one night. No single workout or meal is ever impressive on its own. The reason so few people understand success is consistency never looks impressive in the moment, only at the end. And so people only root for people who don't need it. Once you've already won, people are like, he's amazing, he's so good. But like, that's the last time you need it the least. And so you're all— you always have to be the person who roots for you before everyone else does. And people struggle to do things alone because if everyone else were cheering you on, then it means that you're not in the right place. It means that you're just like everyone else, and that's not where you want to be. You know, I'll tell you a really interesting one that's more recent. So when I was about a year and change out from selling Gym Launch, I I wanted to have a second acquisition channel. So we ran a lot of paid ads and I wanted to have another way to get customers. And so I read this book on outbound and I was like, okay, we're going to do this outbound thing. And 90 days in, we'd only done one sale and I put all my attention towards this thing. And I remember the whole executive team, like, kind of like called me onto a Zoom call, like an intervention, right? Like all these people were there and I was like, whoa, what's going on? And I was like, I mean, I know the company, I can't get fired. So what's going on? Right. And so they were like, hey, we need to talk to you. You're spending way too much time on than this outbound thing. Like, your focus is needed elsewhere in the business. Let's do more of what works. This is a woman in the red dress. I was like, trying to use my stuff against me. I remember that conversation so vividly because it had been 90 days and we only had one sale. So I basically had almost nothing to show for my work, right? And I remember it so vividly because the scene that I recalled was this moment in the movie Troy. Brad Pitt, it's an old movie, and it's the very beginning. And Brad Pitt, who's Achilles, is gonna go fight this giant. Right before he's about to, you know, fight the giant, there's this little boy— it might have been a squire or something hands him a helmet or whatever, and he says, he's huge, you know, I wouldn't want to fight him. And Achilles, Brad Pitt, looks down at the boy and he says, and that's why no one will remember your name. First off, savage. Second off, I remember thinking that because like, it's normal to not want to keep moving when no one's cheering for you, because the reality is that people only root for other people at two times: at the beginning when you start, and at the end when you finish. The problem is neither is when you need it. So you have to master the middle, the boring, soul-crushing, unending, relentless middle. It's the step after step after step while you're running the marathon. Like, the starting gun's exciting, it has balloons, everyone's there with you, and it's like, I'm gonna start this thing, right? And then there's nothing. There's just nothing for 26 miles, just nothing. And then at the very end, you've got more balloons and more people, but that's where the winning happens. The winning happens on your own. So after that little intervention, I said, no, we're going to double down on this because I think this is what's required for us to be able to sell this company. And over the next 9 months, we're able to get piece by piece by piece to get it to work until eventually outbound was 50% of our sales. And because of having two very different acquisition channels, it made the business significantly more stable and ultimately sellable. That decision to basically tell everybody, yeah, you're all wrong, took honestly a lot of balls because I also felt bad. I was like, I want to look like— I want to seem like I'm a listening leader. I want to seem like, you know, I'm taking everyone's, you know, ideas into consideration. And when every single person who's in leadership in the business is like, you need to stop doing this, you need to keep doing what works. I was like, you're all wrong. I'm gonna keep doing this because I know it's the right thing. And so sometimes you have to do that. And this is one of my favorite memes ever. Can you pull up that meme that has the— you see, it's like, yes, you're all wrong. It's like one of my favorite memes. It's like, here's a meme. I probably love this meme. It's probably my single favorite. It's not really even a meme, I guess. I mean, I just think it's a visual. But like, I think about this one a lot, is that sometimes you just have to be that guy and be like, yeah, you're all wrong. Number 8: hold yourself to a higher standard. Now, this is different from raising your standards in terms of what you believe is possible. Possible. This is taking that same idea and applying it only to yourself. So the first example I'll talk about is the universe. It's like, what do I believe is possible in the universe versus what I believe is possible about my behavior? And I think the world has gotten incredibly soft, especially in the West. And so self-love, if there is such a thing, isn't a wine and fucking spa day. It's holding yourself to a higher standard than anyone else does. I think self-love is doing whatever you can to bridge the gap between who you currently you are and who you believe you can become. And so the voice inside of your head that's never satisfied with your achievements isn't your insecurity. It's the part of you that knows that you can do more. So don't listen to people who are like, ignore that, that little voice. It's like, no, that little voice is knocking on your head being like, dude, you can do better than this. Like, we don't have to accept this reality. Like, we can be more. And so if you think about how humans learn things, right? The primary way of learning is through modeling. We see other people do things, right? And then we do them, right? We actually get feedback from doing it ourselves. And so if you want within an organization to inspire everyone else to go to a higher standard, then you have to hold it yourself. And I would say that I'll give you two very tactical examples. So Layla had this realization that she wanted everyone in the company to dress up more. She said she saw people who were showing up on Zooms like they just got out of a bomb shelter. I mean, who knows, whatever. And she was like, man, these, you know, these people just look like they're just rolled out of bed. And then she looked at herself in the mirror and she was like, well, I'm kind of just like wearing sweats and have no makeup on and like all this stuff. And so she started dressing up and like putting makeup on and just like, you know, looking presentable. And all of a sudden she didn't even say anything. The rest of the company started doing it too. And if you're curious, how do they deal with how I dress? She lets everybody know that this is actually a uniform for me. And so I am in uniform. It's just my uniform's different than theirs, just FYI. So the second example is that at acquisition.com, I would I'd say just about everyone works 6 days and probably half the company works 7 days a week. Now, anyone who hears that, of course, all the super soft people, you're fine. You can comment there if you want to, but we're trying to win. And so the reality is the people who are on the other side of the globe who are fighting to beat you are happy to work 7 days a week. No problem. Also, 7-day workweek, completely manufactured as of like the 1940s, right? Like this is a new human concept. This isn't like, oh my God, God, how are these people surviving this? Like, you're gonna be okay. Now let me tell my story. Now that we've defused the, the weakness bomb, many people work that way. Why? I work and Leila work. And so if you want to see a certain behavior exist within your company or your surroundings, best way to get that to happen is to model it yourself. And so this is just as true with an organization, or it is with a team, or even as it is with you and a spouse. Like, if I want Leila to start doing something, one of the easiest things is just start doing it for her. And the nice thing is that you don't even have to have the conversation. It starts to happen. And then as soon as it happens, reward, reinforce the behavior. Yeah. And some of you guys have seen me write this little in a bunch of places and I talk about being one of zero. So I'll tell you where that came from. So at the book launch 2 years ago, one of our things when we were building out my, you know, brand was one of one content, which is like only make stuff that we can make, right? Don't make stuff anyone else can make. And we kept that. And as we approached the launch, you know, it got cooler and cooler and we're like, we're going to give away even— then eventually it was like, we're going to give it away at all. Right. And so believe it or not, the giving away at all was like a surprise that like half my team didn't know about either at the launch. So it was like actually super fun for me in the background. But And when that happened and everyone went nuts for it, they were like, dude, that wasn't even 1 of 1. It was 1 of 0. It wasn't just doing what only you can do. It was doing things that you didn't know you could do yet, doing things that you didn't know were possible, but you believe are within your potential. And that's why I love 1 of 0 so much. Is it like, I want to live a 1 of 0 life, not a life that only I can live, but a life that best version of me that can do things that I can't do yet. I want to live what that man would live. And so that is why I think it's so key to be able to hold yourself to a higher standard and be able to do that for a long and enduring basis. Because it's the only way that you're going to achieve what you ultimately want, or at least what you're capable of. Now, let's talk about reality. Number 9: Accept hard trade-offs. There is no perfect way to live your 20s. You either live them up and become an underskilled 30-year-old, or you work them up and become an underlived 30-year-old. You just have to figure out which you'd rather be, accept the trade-offs, and know that there are no do-overs. So in my experience, I've met far more people who are dissatisfied with their live-it-up their work-it-up 20s than those who regretted their work-it-up 20s. Because in your 20s, most of the time you don't really know what you want, but what you need to do to grow and move forward is usually pretty straightforward. So you take the known path and along the way you gain perspective on what actually matters to you. And often you realize that there are far fewer things that truly matter than you originally thought, because living it up in your 20s might have just been chasing your mom's dream or your friend's dreams, only to wake up in your 30s and realize you didn't live it up at all and you didn't work it up either. Have neither. And here's another hard truth about this: what you believe is going to be your live it up in your 20s, your 40-year-old self doesn't value any of that. But your 40-year-old self absolutely will value the skills that you acquired in your 20s, because the skills will stay with you and will compound with time. But I want to be clear, I don't say you should or shouldn't do anything. You can do whatever you want. This is just one man's two cents if you're dissatisfied with your current— but I remember there was this moment when I had 6 gyms and I knew what I was going to do to get to 10 locations. I ended up flipping the model and doing something else. But what I realized what it would take to go from 6 to 10. I remember I made this video where I publicly basically was just like, hey, I'm working a lot right now. And I was working basically like 6 12s, and I still kind of like took Sundays. And I used to watch the Ravens, and I looked at what little time I had left in my week, and I was like, well, am I willing to give up the Ravens— which is a football team for those of you guys who aren't in the US— and, you know, fantasy, and, you know, Netflix series that I watch? Am I willing to give up that to get to 10 locations? And I was like, yeah, I'm willing to give that up for 10 locations. And so I made the trade. Some of you aren't willing to give up rec dodgeball or, you know, beers with the boys. And I don't think— like, if you're not, great. Just make sure that you're doing it for the trade-off that you know you're actively making, right? If you're doing it by default, right? If you're watching your TV series and you really are like, no, I would prefer to have this TV series than my goal, then dude, more power to you. The thing is, is that most people make unconscious trades. They accept the trade-offs. So once you've accepted the trade-offs, the next one is you have to be willing to look like an idiot. You just have to be willing to look like an idiot while you figure figure it out, because once you figure it out, everyone else looks like an idiot for doubting you. The easiest way to lose in life is to avoid looking bad. So Sam Altman had this little blog post that he made about the power of being misunderstood, but he basically posited that you should trade being short-term low status for being long-term high status, which most people seem unwilling to do. And a common way that this ends up happening is by eventually being right about an important thing that most people don't agree on. But the key thing is that fundamentally you see something other people don't see, and they don't believe what you see, and so they bet against you. And all asymmetric returns in life come from betting against conventional wisdom, but conventional wisdom is usually right. And so you have to be willing to bet big, and the thing that's unproven is you. And so of course it makes sense for them to bet against you because conventionally they'll be right, but you're n 1, and you have a much longer history with you than they do. And so you actually have an asymmetric information advantage against everybody who bets against you is that you know you more than they do. And so you know that if you say you're going all in, you're going all in because opportunity only looks like opportunity looking backwards. Today it looks like risk. So a couple final thoughts. When losers go through hard shit, they think, poor me. When champions go through hard shit, they think, poor everyone else who's going to try and catch me because they're going to have to go through this too and they're not going to make it. And so despite all the hard shit that you're going through. You just have to believe with all your heart that you're going to make it. Because the thing is, as long as you keep trying, you are making it. And one of the things that I've learned about success, to the degree that I can even say this, is that you become successful the moment you decide you are. Because there's always going to be another goalpost. And the thing is, is that your current self today is living a life that your past self once dreamed of. You've accomplished goals that you said would make you happy. You've accomplished things that you said would make you successful. And so success is very much in the eye of the beholder, including your own. And so that means that you can both be stressful and be dissatisfied. They don't have to be mutually exclusive, and I think that's okay.