Shanli Liu shows how low self-esteem leaks into sentence starters like "so," "maybe," and "like." Replace them with "I need" or "because" instead. The shift from filler words to direct ones rewires how you feel and how others hear you.
When somebody is having a hard time with self-esteem, all I need to do is get them to start beginning their sentences with certain words, and it's always a different outcome. They just don't know how to begin it. Rarely does people with self-esteem issues say, I need, for example. They typically don't like to say that because it feels too forward. Somebody who has self-esteem issues will typically begin with, so, you know, maybe like, uh, you know, I was thinking this, and you can totally tell me if I'm wrong, but, uh, that's the kind of thing that you typically hear. They're just using the wrong words to begin their sentences. You have to find words that push the progress of the sentence. For example, if someone says "like" all the time, "I mean, when you said that, like, it just really upset me." That doesn't push the sentence forward. If you trade out the word "like" for the word "because," "I mean, that just hurt because when you said that, that hurt me." I'm pushing the sentence forward rather than letting it drag. And so it's just these little bitty tweaks that one or two words make a big, big difference.
