Shanli Liu, CPA, CTP, cuts three passive phrases that weaken your voice. Replace "I hate to bother you, but" with a direct request. Stop saying "Does that make sense?" and ask for questions instead. Swap "I don't want to" for "I prefer that you didn't" to sound like you're setting a standard, not refusing.
If you want to sound more assertive, avoid these 3 phrases. Number 1, "I hate to bother you, but..." You just labeled your behavior. Now before you even say a word, the other person is thinking, "This is going to bother me." But when you're being assertive, you don't bother anybody. You get their attention. So instead, try this. Just say, "When you get a few moments, I'd like to grab your attention." Number 2, when you end a sentence with, "Does that make sense?" Don't doubt your ability to send a message or doubt the other person's ability to receive it. Just carry them along with you and say something like, "Do you have any questions? Do you have any thoughts?" Number 3: "I don't want to" or "I don't like to." It sounds much more assertive when you state it in terms of a preference. For example, "I prefer that you didn't." What it signals is that you have a standard by which you hold yourself, and what they're asking you to do is deviate from that. And that's how you sound more assertive. So try that and follow me.
