We got a DEATH threat… How to deal with haters
In this 2022 YouTube video, Leila Hormozi, co‑CEO of Acquisition.com, shares three mental frameworks she uses to handle hate, criticism, and backlash that accompany high‑level success. She begins by establishing her credibility—building multiple eight‑figure businesses and generating $85 million in annual revenue—then explains why dealing with hatred is inevitable when one pursues extraordinary goals. The first framework, the “50/50 principle,” posits that love and hate are two sides of the same coin; the more people admire you, the more you will attract detractors. She illustrates this with the Gym Launch backlash over rising Facebook‑ad costs, where former fans turned hostile. The second framework replaces an instinctive defensive reaction with curiosity: ask why a person hates you, consider their life circumstances, and recognize that the hatred reflects their own issues, not your worth. She recounts a death‑threat incident from an ex‑client to demonstrate applying curiosity under extreme pressure. The third framework is to expect hatred as a natural by‑product of success, rather than assuming fame brings only admiration. She warns against the “perfect‑armor” mindset and advises visualizing both positive and negative outcomes of any achievement, preparing mentally for inevitable criticism. Throughout, Hormozi emphasizes self‑validation, not relying on external approval, and encourages viewers to adopt these mental tools to stay resilient while pursuing big goals.
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What is up? My name is Leila Hormozi. I'm co-CEO of Acquisition.com, which is a portfolio of businesses that does about $85 million per year in revenue. I don't sell coaching, I don't do courses, I just put this content out there to hopefully help and kind of get past all the crap that's out there that's fake. You know, I've built multiple companies to over 8 figures and nearly 9, and so I feel like I have enough credibility to put things out there now. And I didn't do so along the way because I didn't feel like I had the credibility at that point. And that being said, that kind of ties in with the video that I wanted to make today, which was my mental frameworks around dealing with hate and criticism. And the reason I want to make this video is because a A lot of people have asked for it, and a lot of people have asked— they ask me that all the time, right? But it actually became more relevant to me recently. And so I think that the reason for that is I had a few pieces of content on separate platforms that really took off. And because those pieces of content took off, I was exposed to like a new level of audience and of people that I hadn't been before. And all these things came pouring in, all this hate that I hadn't seen in a long time. And I felt like now is the time to make this video because it's relevant to me. And honestly, I'm just like not apathetic at this point in time. What I want to start out is just explaining what the 3 mental frameworks are and how I apply them to dealing with criticism and hate. Because here's the reality, is that like, if you want to do big shit in life, people are gonna fucking hate you. And the cooler you are, the more unique you are, the more different you are than others, which is often required to become extraordinary, then the more people are going to hate you. And I think that a lot of times we expect the love to increase, but we do not expect the hate to increase. So like, everyone's like, I want to be rich and famous, And they want to be rich and famous because they think that there's a feeling behind the rich and the famous that they want to acquire, and it's love and admiration and inspiration, all these things. And the reality is, is that rich and famous comes with all the opposites as well, which is hatred, you know, demeaning, cruelty, all of these things, right? Because people see you and all of a sudden you create so much insecurity within themselves, right? Because they see you and you would— you have all of these things that they want and that maybe even go against the reality of what's possible. And so therefore they project their hate onto you. And so if you want to do big shit in life, which I hope if you're watching my channel you do, you're gonna have to learn how to deal with it. And it's not something that you can try. And I think a lot of people, they're like, how do I get the hate to stop? And I'm like, dude, what the fuck? You can't get the hate to stop. Like, you don't get the hate to stop, and you don't want it to stop. Because if the hate stops, the love stops, which means you aren't doing something correctly, which means that you're not being yourself. You're probably not being the authentic version of yourself that you are because you're probably pussying out because you're afraid that people are gonna keep hating on you. And you're like, I can't take it, I can't read the comments, I can't get all these messages. Like, yes you fucking can. And so I tell you that because I take it— it's first person. I'm partially just telling myself because it's something I work on every day. And particularly right now in my life, it's something I work on consistently. You know, like Alex will walk in, he's like, what are you doing? I'm like, building new mental frameworks to deal with this shit. He's like, seriously? And I'm like, yeah, like I, I have to. Because if you want to be able to get to that level, which I do, I want to be a billionaire. And like, the only reason I want to do that is to show others it's possible. I know that it's going to be way fucking harder than it is now. So this, the stuff that I'm dealing with now, the stuff that you're dealing with now, that's just the beginning. And so if you know that what you're dealing with right now is only the beginning, what can you do to ensure that you have a healthy way to process this shit so so you can move on and actually do big shit with your life, because this shit doesn't matter. And so there's 3 frameworks that I use, and honestly, these are not frameworks that I got from someone else or YouTubed. These are like— I was thinking to myself, like, what do I do in my own brain to deal with this stuff? Because like, one thing that I talk about a lot, and that people know me are like, you have a really healthy sense of self in the sense that like, I don't rely on outside opinions to dictate how I feel about myself. Like, if I complete a task, I am proud of myself, and I'm my own best friend. And if nobody else notices, I don't care. But because of that, I've never felt like I'm super affected by others' opinions. But each level you get to, if things get louder, things become new, there's all this new stuff that's coming at you. It's something you have to acclimate to. And so I hope that this helps you. The first is the 50/50 principle, okay? And this is for life in general, but it especially applies to criticism and hate. So I had a coach, and this was about 6 years ago, it was right before we started Gym Launch. The coach was like, he started talking about success and what the price of success is. And I said, well, okay, what is success, right? And he's like, success is love, and it's love and admiration from others and all these things. And he said, the price of love is hate. And at that point in time, I'd never really had a ton of hate from people, like maybe from like my hometown and like people who knew me you know, whatever, but not like real hate. And I was like, ooh, that like rings really true. That makes sense to me. And I was like, why? He's like, well, the more people that love you, the more people that hate you. It's the 50/50 rule of life. Everything is 50/50. To everything that is good, there is something that is bad, right? For every person who something is good for them, to somebody else it is bad for them. And so I think that was something that really got me through. I want to say it was 2019 actually, which was when we started Gym Launch in 2016 and everything was going hunky-dory until 2019 when the cost of Facebook ads is becoming so, so high that people in our community literally started to turn on us. And they're like, this is fucking insane. Like, you aren't doing your job. The cost of these ads is too high. And Alex and I are like, dude, like, we know that's only— you all watching this, I'm sure you know, you're like, that's how platforms work. They get more expensive over time. But if people have never used a platform before and if they're just now using it with your company, then they expect that you should keep those costs low at all times. And over the years, as it continued to rise and we beat our asses into the ground trying to figure out how to get it lower and lower, and they were honestly as low as they could possibly fucking be, people still hated us for it. And I remember like logging into Facebook one day and that there was an entire group of people that was like ex-Gym Launch clients, and it was like 110 people that were just fucking talking shit. And the crazy part to that was those people had been our biggest fans 3 years prior, 2 years prior, 1 year prior. And I remember just thinking to myself like, holy fuck, it's so true. Like, the price of love is hate, and those who deeply, deeply love you many times end up hating you later on. And the reason they did that with us is because they viewed us as heroes, right? Like, we came and saved the day for them. But you know what that means when the day gets gloomy outside? Is they look at Alex and Layla and say 'Fuck you, you ruined my day,' right? They didn't take personal responsibility. And so that was probably the first, like, real dose of hate that I got, seeing that those everywhere, getting messages from people saying, like, 'You know how many people hate you right now? Do you know how many people are talking shit? You know how many people are leaving the program?' I thought it was this big fucking dramatic thing. And I was like, I just honestly, at the time, like, I can be really frank with you, like, my mind was like, I don't give a fuck. Fuck anybody who talks like that. Like, you join a hate group, fuck you. I would like you— you're not my people. Which is what I think today as well. But that being said, the 50/50 framework is one that works for me, and it's because I think that we have to reset expectations of what we believe to be true about life itself, which is that life is 50/50 and there's nothing you can do to change that. And I think that expecting that if you do good, you will only receive good, and that life is fair, and that if you are only trying to help people, people should be nice to you— none of those things are true. We would like them to be true, but they're not true. And I think that what causes us so much pain, and what used to cause me a lot of pain, is just thinking like, if I'm just trying to help and if I'm really fucking doing my best, then why would people hate me? People hate you because of themselves, not because of you. It took me too long to understand that. Now the second framework that I use when I'm confronted with something like this is really just curiosity over criticism. Like, the first automatic reaction that we all get when someone says something really shitty about us, right, it's like you look at them and you're like, you piece of shit, scumbag, go die, right? At least that's what I think. Like, if I'm being really frank, that's like my animal brain. It's like, it looks at you, it's like, fuck you, I'm gonna kill you. Or like, fuck you, I'm gonna be so good, I'm gonna leave you so far in the dust, and you're gonna eat your fucking words. That's what I think, right? That's the immediate reaction I have. Like, I'm human, I'm not like better than this. But within 5 seconds, I can change it to curiosity. And the curiosity is, why would this person hate me so dearly? What kind of life situation is this person in that they have so much hate toward me? And then I honestly try and understand it. The first time I ever had to really use this was Alex and I were hosting an event and we actually had a death threat, and it was in a letter form and then also through social media. And that person was saying that they were going to come to our event and they were going to kill us. And I remember just like the first moment that I read it, we were actually— someone was at our house doing a video interview with us, and I just felt sick to my stomach. I fucking tank that interview because I was just like so just like horrified that somebody would hate us so much that they would say they're gonna come kill us. And they were counting down the days till they could come there and, you know, reap— I don't even know what it was— it was like, you know, judgment on us. And I was like, good lord, like, you're fucking nuts. You know, I had to think to myself because this person had been an ex-client— an ex-client, which is crazy, right? Like someone who did really well in our program and they hadn't been a client for like a year. And so it made absolutely no sense to me or Alex. And so I really had to go through why would a person do this And honestly, the reality I confront with that was, you know, I put their past together, I looked at what they were doing nowadays, I was like, they used to be a drug addict, they got out of drugs, maybe they're back on drugs, maybe it did some brain damage, maybe this or that. And they look at us and they have all this hate in their, their body and in themselves, and then they just say, I'm gonna go put it on you because you can take it and I can't. I am so weak that I cannot take my own self-hatred, therefore I must project it onto you because you are strong enough to take it. I'm serious. People can't hold their own hate for themselves because they let themselves down all the time. They aren't where they want to be in life. They don't look how they want to look. You know, they constantly let themselves down on their dreams that they say, I have to put it on someone else because I'm too fucking weak to handle it. That's seriously what people do. And so if you approach it with the curiosity instead of the criticism, right, to say, why would this person— what kind of life must they have? What kind of beliefs must they hold to hate me to such a degree for no fucking reason? Then it becomes a lot easier. And it doesn't mean you have to like those people. Like, you can hear it in my voice, like, I don't like these people. I would never associate with these people. It's so far beyond my realm of comprehension that I don't get it, you know? And maybe one day I won't care at all and I'll be like, oh, I feel bad for them and I love them. I don't feel like that now, you know? And I have friends who are like, Layla, you mental health, all this. I'm like, you know, fuck your mental health. Like, I'm not gonna go like somebody who says these mean-ass things. Like, that's just not in my cards. And you know what, I don't want to. That's just who I am. And so that's the second framework, is the curiosity, is really just playing out what's the story of their life so that they would hate you so much. Because it has nothing to do with you ever. It just has to do with them, right? The last piece is expecting hatred. And the reason this one is so important is because we expect that when we achieve these things in life, that we— when we achieve material success, we achieve aesthetically what we want to achieve, we achieve the marriage we want to achieve, when we achieve anything, we expect only love and admiration, inspiration. We expect people to love us because that's most of the time why we want to achieve those things, because we expect it to come with a feeling, and that feeling will take us out of whatever pain we're in, which is just the human experience. And instead, when we get there, there's the other side of it, which goes back to the 50/50 rule, which is that there's lots of hate, there's lots of putting down, there's lots of anger, there's lots of frustration towards you. And it's because you have to expect it. The reason that it gets so much worse and the reason that if you get it, it feels so terrible is because you don't expect it. You think that it is one way when it is another. It's just like, you know, you look at Instagram, you look at all these people and these famous people and actors and actresses, and you're probably thinking like, it must be nice to be rich and famous, right? Like, that's a lot of people look at and think. But it's like, you don't know what the other side is. You know, some people have to walk around with bodyguard all day. Often what we do is instead of expecting the hatred— and I know that I did this in my past— is that I was like, I don't need to expect hatred because I'll just be fucking perfect. Which is like, I'll be in great shape, I will be beautiful, I will marry someone amazing, I will be extremely successful, I will have all these things, and therefore nobody be able to hate on me. And I believed that for a long time, that like if I built that armor big enough that nobody could penetrate it, right? And it's worked to a degree. But here's the thing: people who want to hate and who cannot bear it themselves will always find something to hate on. It's the same with any artist out there, right? You always want to pick the one little flaw about them and extrapolate it and blow it into this huge thing. And so to think that by being perfect in your mind in all these areas of life that you're not going to get the hate, it's not true. So instead, you need to expect the hate. And anytime you achieve something, anytime you achieve success, anytime you get to the next level, don't just picture what the good is going to look like. Picture what the bad is going to look like, and then ask yourself how you're going to handle it. And I think that that has been probably my number one framework, is to absolutely expect it. Like, if I post a piece of content that I think is fucking awesome, I'm gonna expect that people fucking hate it, because people want to hate me just because they want to hate me, because they have nowhere else to put their hate. And so remember that no matter what you do, you have to be able to expect the hate. No matter how good the thing you do is, no matter how great you are, you have to expect the hate, because how good you are has nothing to do with how much people hate you. And in fact, what you'll probably find is that the better you are, the more unique you the louder you are, the more true to yourself you are, the more people will hate you. And you feel like you're doing right and that you should have more love, but the reality is you have both love and hate. You're just focusing on the wrong one. And so those are my 3 frameworks for how I deal with this. You can have all these mental frameworks to deal with hate, but at the end of the day, you have to remember it has nothing to do with you. It has to do with their beliefs, their character traits, and their tendencies. It doesn't have to do with you. And so with that, I hope that that was useful for you. I know that this is what helps me, and so I will continue to, you know, share more mental tools as they come up, because I'm sure it's never gonna stop. And so that being said, have a great Wednesday, Tuesday, Thursday rest of your week. I will talk to you soon.
