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What to do when Someone tries to Make You Look Bad

Name: What to do when Someone tries to Make You Look Bad
Uploaded: 2025-01-23T13:00:12+00:00
Duration: 48 s
Channel: Shanli Liu, CPA, CTP
Description: In this short instructional video, Shanli Liu, CPA, CTP, outlines a three‑step approach for handling a public put‑down. First, the viewer should remain…

23 Jan 2025 · 1 min

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In this short instructional video, Shanli Liu, CPA, CTP, outlines a three‑step approach for handling a public put‑down. First, the viewer should remain silent for five seconds, allowing the disparaging comment to lose momentum. Second, they should turn to another person in the group and ask, “Did you hear the same thing that I heard?” – a tactic that shifts the focus from the target to the speaker and invites others to share the listening. Third, the viewer can either stay silent to let the speaker possibly clarify, or directly challenge the comment by asking, “Did you mean to say that out loud?” The overall tone is practical and supportive, aimed at empowering a general audience to defuse embarrassment and regain control of the conversation.

Chapters

What to say when someone tries to make you look bad. When someone makes a comment in front of other people to make you look bad, here's what I want you to do. Number 1, give it 5 seconds of silence, absolutely nothing. You're not gonna take the bait, you're not gonna throw anything back, you're just gonna let their comment fall all the way to the ground. Number 2, you're gonna turn to someone else in the group and ask this question, "Did you hear the same thing that I heard?" When they first made the comment, all eyes are on you. But when you share the listening, well, it turns all the spotlight back on them. And the person who made that comment to put you down, oh, they're not gonna like it. And number 3, you got a choice. You can say nothing and allow that person to maybe clarify and reframe what they said, or you can respond and follow up with, "We're wondering," remember you're sharing the listening, "Did you mean to say that out loud?" So try that and follow me.