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What to say instead of "agree to disagree"

Name: What to say instead of "agree to disagree"
Uploaded: 2024-10-12T14:00:11+00:00
Duration: 51 s
Channel: Shanli Liu, CPA, CTP
Description: In this short instructional video, Shanli Liu, CPA, CTP, critiques the common phrase "agree to disagree," arguing that it signals a defensive stance and…

12 Oct 2024 · 1 min

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In this short instructional video, Shanli Liu, CPA, CTP, critiques the common phrase "agree to disagree," arguing that it signals a defensive stance and can damage credibility. She proposes three more constructive alternatives: (1) "I agree that's a perspective," which acknowledges the other person's view without endorsing it; (2) "I understand your point," which conveys empathy and reduces feelings of being misunderstood; and (3) "It's okay to disagree" or "You can disagree with me," which grants permission to disagree while preserving connection. The video emphasizes that these phrasing choices foster understanding, lower defensiveness, and keep conversations collaborative.

Chapters

What to say instead of agree to disagree. When you say agree to disagree, what you're really saying is, I wasn't here to learn something. I was only here to prove something. And it hurts your credibility. Instead, say, number 1, I agree that's a perspective. I agree that's a perspective. You're not saying you agree with what they said. You're only reiterating that what they're offering is a perspective. Number 2, use the phrase, I understand your point. I understand your point. People are okay with the feeling of not having all the answers, but they're far less okay with the feeling of being misunderstood. So by acknowledging them, you make them feel understood and less defensive. And number 3, my favorite response: "It's okay to disagree," or "You can disagree with me." Here you're giving them permission to disagree with you while still staying connected in the conversation. And that's what to say instead of "agree to disagree." So try that and follow me.