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What to say when someone is yelling at you

Name: What to say when someone is yelling at you
Uploaded: 2024-10-19T14:00:10+00:00
Duration: 57 s
Channel: Shanli Liu, CPA, CTP
Description: In this instructional video, Shanli Liu, CPA, CTP, offers a concise three‑step method for handling someone who is yelling. First, instead of shouting…

19 Oct 2024 · 1 min

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In this instructional video, Shanli Liu, CPA, CTP, offers a concise three‑step method for handling someone who is yelling. First, instead of shouting back, the presenter advises calmly stating, “I don’t respond to that volume,” to set a clear boundary and signal that the raised voice is unacceptable. Second, the speaker recommends delivering that phrase at a volume lower than normal conversation, which helps pull the aggressor’s volume down and projects control. Third, the presenter suggests speaking more slowly and inserting pauses around the key verb (“respond”) to sound confident and further regain control of the interaction. The overall message is to de‑escalate by using calm, low‑volume, and paced speech rather than matching the aggressor’s intensity.

Chapters

What to say when someone is yelling at you. Number 1, instead of raising your voice and shouting something like, "Don't yell at me!" You're going to calmly use the phrase, "I don't respond to that volume." You're letting them know they've run into your boundary, telling them, "I don't allow people to talk to me that way." Number 2, say it at a volume that is below your normal conversational tone. So where I'm right here with you, Just give it a little haircut. I don't respond to that volume. It makes you sound more controlled. It makes them sound less controlled. So to match you, it pulls their volume back down. And number 3, the slower you speak, the more confident you will sound. One trick is to add pauses around the verb. In this case, respond. I don't respond to that volume. And the slower you speak, the more you take back control. So try that and follow me.