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What to say when someone is gaslighting you

Name: What to say when someone is gaslighting you
Uploaded: 2024-11-13T05:03:51+00:00
Duration: 49 s
Channel: Shanli Liu, CPA, CTP
Description: In this brief instructional video, Shanli Liu, CPA, CTP, outlines three concise communication tactics for dealing with a gaslighter. First, she advises…

13 Nov 2024 · 1 min

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In this brief instructional video, Shanli Liu, CPA, CTP, outlines three concise communication tactics for dealing with a gaslighter. First, she advises keeping responses as brief as possible to avoid being drawn into the gaslighter’s distractions. Second, she recommends repeatedly using an acknowledgement phrase—"I understand you disagree with me"—to deflect provocations without engaging. Third, she suggests a neutral disagreement phrase—"I see things differently"—to express dissent without triggering the gaslighter’s traps. By consistently applying these minimal, repetitive, and neutral statements, the speaker claims individuals can maintain control of the conversation and protect themselves from manipulation.

Chapters

What to say when someone gaslights you. Number 1, as little as possible. A gaslighter's whole goal is to distract you and make you chase every other issue but the real one, as if you're the cat and they have the laser pointer. So the less you say, the less you chase. Number 2, to do that, we're going to repeat phrases of acknowledgement. So when that gaslighter says, "You're being crazy right now," instead of chasing it and saying, "Crazy? How am I crazy?" You're going to repeat the phrase of acknowledgement, "I understand you disagree with me." They're going to point it somewhere else. You'll repeat, "I understand you disagree." When you repeat, it keeps you from chasing. And number 3, when you so badly want to disagree, instead of yelling out, "That's not what happened," which will fall right into their trap, you will repeat the phrase, "I see things differently." That's all you need to do. Just repeat the phrase, "I see things differently," as many times as you need, and you'll stay in control. So try that and follow me.