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What to Say When Someone Raises Their Voice

Name: What to Say When Someone Raises Their Voice
Uploaded: 2024-08-05T12:00:47+00:00
Duration: 51 s
Channel: Shanli Liu, CPA, CTP
Description: In this instructional video, Shanli Liu, CPA, CTP, teaches viewers how to de‑escalate arguments when the other person begins to raise their voice. She…

5 Aug 2024 · 1 min

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In this instructional video, Shanli Liu, CPA, CTP, teaches viewers how to de‑escalate arguments when the other person begins to raise their voice. She outlines three concrete tactics: (1) ask, “Is this a conversation?” to prompt the other person to recognize the interaction as a dialogue and typically lower their volume; (2) state, “I don’t respond to that volume,” to set a clear boundary about acceptable speaking levels; and (3) keep your own voice low, slow, and calm instead of matching the raised volume, which helps maintain control and discourages further escalation. The video’s purpose is to give practical, repeatable language and behavioral cues for managing heated discussions and preserving respectful communication.

Chapters

What to say when someone starts raising their voice in an argument. As soon as they start raising their voice, here's what you're going to do. Number 1, ask them this question: Is this a conversation? Is this a conversation? Now, 99.9% of the time, the answer you're going to get is yes. They always say yes. But here's the cool part: they're not going to yell it. They will say yes, because by you reminding them it's a conversation, they will automatically lower their voice. Number 2, use the phrase, "I don't respond to that volume." I don't respond to that volume. Here you're asserting a boundary that says there is a right way to talk to me and a wrong way to talk to me. And I'm letting you know which category you're in. And number 3, don't match their volume because it only justifies them getting louder. Instead, when you keep your voice low and slow, the more calm and controlled you'll be. So try that and follow me.