Three ways to shut down condescension: flip it back on them ("that's beneath me"), assert control with "I'll allow you to," or set a condition ("I'm willing to engage if you speak respectfully").
What to say when someone talks down to you. Number 1: Flip it. When somebody's talking down to you, instead of staying in this inferior position, you will say that whatever they just told you is either beneath you or below you. It's as easy as saying, "The way you're treating me right now is beneath me." When you do that, when you flip that power dynamic, you stay in control while they have no choice but to change their behavior for the conversation to continue. Number 2: Maintain position. You can do that by using the words allow and give. For example, I will allow you to try that again. I'm giving you the opportunity to say that to me differently. Those are words of authority, and it sends the message that I am in complete control of how I will be treated. And number 3, reset the terms. You do that by using the phrase I'm willing, what you're willing to do. I'm willing to engage in this conversation if you speak to me respectfully. I'm willing to talk with you if we're on the same page. It is you lining out the instructions of how this conversation is to move forward. And that's how to handle somebody who's talking down to you. So try that. Now follow me.
