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What to say when they deflect

Name: What to say when they deflect
Uploaded: 2024-10-04T14:00:39+00:00
Duration: 47 s
Channel: Shanli Liu, CPA, CTP
Description: In this short instructional video, speaker Shanli Liu, CPA, CTP, outlines three practical techniques for dealing with deflection during a disagreement…

4 Oct 2024 · 1 min

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0:47

In this short instructional video, speaker Shanli Liu, CPA, CTP, outlines three practical techniques for dealing with deflection during a disagreement. First, she advises against chasing the deflector’s bait, explaining that responding to their sidetrack only reinforces the diversion. Second, she recommends taking a breath and calmly repeating the original point, slightly slower, to signal awareness of the deflection without engaging it. Third, if the deflection persists, she suggests offering to revisit the issue later, giving the other person time to think and then returning to the original topic. The video concludes with a call to action for viewers to try these tactics and follow her channel.

Chapters

What to say when someone deflects in an argument. Number 1: Don't chase. When somebody says something that throws you off, they're trying to deflect and make you chase it. For example, if I were to say, "I'd like to talk about why you were late," and they responded, "I'd like to talk about why you never return my call." If I were to say, "That's not true, I spoke to you last week," that's chasing, and that's exactly what they want you to do. Number 2: Instead, you're going to take a breath and simply repeat what you said before, just a little bit slower. Here you are letting them know and calling them out that they're trying to deflect, and you're not going to take the bait. And number 3. If they keep trying to deflect, one thing that I like to do is tell them I'll come back to it. For example, I'll say, "I'm happy to give you time to think of a response, and when we come back to it," or "when you're ready, I'd like to address what I said." And that's what to say when someone tries to deflect. So try that and follow me.