Three ways to respond when someone gets aggressive. Offer to hear a different version of what they said. Ask if they meant it that way. Or say "I don't respond to aggression" and mean it. Practice keeps you calm and sets the boundary.
The next time that someone makes an aggressive comment towards you, this is what I want you to try. Number 1, you are calmly going to say, "I'm willing to accept a different version of your response," or, "I'm willing to accept a different version of what you just said." You're letting them know you do not accept what they gave, and if they'd like, they can try again. Number 2, use the phrase, "Was that meant as aggressive as it sounded?" Some people say things without knowing they sound aggressive, so you have to tell them how they sounded rather than just reacting to how they sounded. And number 3, this is one where you're gonna have to stand your ground. In a controlled voice, you will say, "I don't respond to aggression." "I don't respond to aggression." Here it is an instruction to the other person that if you want to communicate with me, it will not be through means of aggression. So try that and follow me.
