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When someone tells you to calm down

Name: When someone tells you to calm down
Uploaded: 2024-10-18T14:00:17+00:00
Duration: 51 s
Channel: Shanli Liu, CPA, CTP
Description: In this short instructional video, the speaker outlines three practical responses to the common phrase “calm down.” First, they suggest asking the…

18 Oct 2024 · 1 min

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0:51

In this short instructional video, the speaker outlines three practical responses to the common phrase “calm down.” First, they suggest asking the speaker whether they mean “calm” (a genuine desire for emotional regulation) or “quiet” (a wish for silence), noting that caring people usually want calm while uncaring people want quiet. Second, they recommend a firm “no,” backed by phrases like “my feelings aren’t for your comfort” or “I get to decide how calm I’ll be,” to assert personal authority over one’s emotional state. Third, they advise asking “for me or for you?” to uncover whose interests the request serves, exposing hidden motives. The video ends with a call to try these tactics and follow the creator.

Chapters

What to say when someone tells you to calm down. Number 1, ask the question, did you mean calm or did you mean quiet? In other words, did you want me to calm down or quiet down? And what you'll find is the people who care about you want you calm, and the people who don't just want you quiet. Number 2, respond with no, a simple no. And if you need phrases to support that, you can try, my feelings aren't for your comfort. Or "I get to decide how calm I'll be." You're making it clear they have no authority here. And number 3, if somebody tells you to calm down, ask the question, "For me or for you?" What you're doing is checking where their interests are. "You mean calm down for you, to make you feel better, or to calm down for me?" And if they hesitate, bets are it's not for you. And that's what to say when somebody tells you to calm down. So try that and follow me.