When someone belittles you in front of others, pause for five seconds without reacting. Then ask another person, "Did you hear the same thing I heard?" to shift focus to the speaker. You can stay silent or ask the person directly, "Did you mean to say that out loud?"
What to say when someone tries to make you look bad. When someone makes a comment in front of other people to make you look bad, here's what I want you to do. Number 1, give it 5 seconds of silence, absolutely nothing. You're not gonna take the bait, you're not gonna throw anything back, you're just gonna let their comment fall all the way to the ground. Number 2, you're gonna turn to someone else in the group and ask this question, "Did you hear the same thing that I heard?" When they first made the comment, all eyes are on you. But when you share the listening, well, it turns all the spotlight back on them. And the person who made that comment to put you down, oh, they're not gonna like it. And number 3, you got a choice. You can say nothing and allow that person to maybe clarify and reframe what they said, or you can respond and follow up with, "We're wondering," remember you're sharing the listening, "Did you mean to say that out loud?" So try that and follow me.
