Do These 5 Things Daily to Cultivate Resilience and Thrive - with Shawn Ellis

Hey guys, it's Shawn Ellis here. Welcome back to the Rise and Thrive video series. Here we are, this is the final video in the series and this is an important one. So just to recap quickly, so far we've talked about the art of contentment and the power of possibility and how if you want to thrive in your life, then we live between these two places, learning how to, to be fully present, to be grateful to be here now, which is what the art of contentment is all about. And remember, we asked the question, what if this is as good as it gets? That's the question that invites us into this moment. That's the question that relieves the tension from thinking like, what if this happens, then I'll be happier. When I get there, or someday I'll, I'll have the relationship I want. Someday I'll have the job I want. Someday I'll have whatever it is. Someday I'll— this mysterious destination that we never reach, right? So what if this is as good as it gets draws us into this moment, to be here now, to appreciate what is present right here, right now, just as it is. And then on the other side of that, the art or the power of possibility, and the question for that is how How can it get even better than this? So I am fully present, I am here, this is amazing, I am grateful for it, but how can it get even better than this? This is what activates our imagination, activates our vision to see something better, to imagine something better. How can it get even better than this? So if we can live in this space, space with contentment and possibility, then we can truly thrive. But there's something else we need to talk about. Because, you know, if you've seen those videos, you've heard these ideas before, and I'm sure you're thinking like, "Yeah, that sounds great. I need to live with more contentment. I want that." You know, "I want to be able to imagine how can it get even better than this. I want that." But At the same time, you're thinking, "But what if I don't feel like being content right now? I don't see any possibility for this getting better. I just feel stuck." What if you don't feel like asking the question, "What if this is as good as it gets?" Like, you know, I ask that question, you're like, "Shawn, I'm going to punch you in the face if you ask me that question again." How can it get even better than this, man? I cannot even imagine that. I am so overwhelmed, I'm so frustrated, I'm so exhausted. Does this resonate? I mean, just this week for me, I've felt all those things. I've felt overwhelmed. I've had mornings with my son where it's like, oh my gosh, like, how am I gonna get through this morning? And then after that, I'm like, oh my gosh, I needed a day to recover from this. You know, the stories that we tell ourselves, like, "What am I doing here?" "Who am I to think I can do this?" Or, you know, stories that we think about other people, like, "What did he mean by that?" "What is she saying?" "Why didn't they get back to me?" "What's going on?" All this stuff that's in our mind. So these ideas of contentment and of possibility and thriving, these are big ideas But the ideas won't change your life. They'll give you a spark, but they won't change your life. What we've got to add to the ideas are practices. And that's what I want to talk about today. I want to share with you 5 practices that will allow you to integrate this into your life. Because if you go through life and if your life is defined by your circumstances or by your environment, like, if I'm feeling overwhelmed, well, I guess, you know, this is just going to be a day where I'm feeling overwhelmed. Like, oh, Maybe I'll try contentment again tomorrow. You're feeling angry, you're pissed off, you might say. Like, let's get real here. You know, it's like, well, contentment, forget that. How can it get even better? I don't know, man, I'm just mad today. Like, if our circumstances dictate our experience, we're totally leaving our life to chance. That's why we need practices. So imagine this, like, imagine if you wanna get stronger, physically stronger, what do you have to do? You know, maybe go to the gym, you gotta lift some weights, you gotta push yourself beyond what is comfortable. You know, maybe you get a trainer who can push you further. I was actually just at the gym yesterday and my trainer told me, he said, "If you wanna get bigger, you gotta lift bigger." And I was thinking, well, I'm not really trying to get bigger, I just wanna be healthy and strong. But the sentiment is true, if you wanna get bigger, you gotta lift bigger, if you want to have more happiness in your life, if you want to have more peace, more joy, if you want to feel like, "I am truly thriving," then don't leave that to chance. There are some things you've got to do, and the good news is there are things you can do to feel that more often, to be able to get back to that place where you want to be more easily. Because yeah, we're always going to get overwhelmed. I mean, life throws stuff at us. Life surprises us. It catches us off guard, and we need some practices to help us get back to our center, get back to our core. So I want to share these 5 practices with you today so you have some tools to take with you. So, you know, maybe you don't always feel like asking the questions, but as you integrate these practices, it will come more naturally to you, and you will see your life change. You see, as I said, the ideas won't change your life. They'll give you a spark. The practices will change your life permanently as you practice them. So, you ready? Let's dive in. And I've got some visual aids today. So here is practice number 1. Practice number 1 is manage your energy. Manage your energy. The circumstances of life, the environment we live in, is going to have an effect on your energy. There's no There's no two ways around that. And if you think about it, like, just check in with yourself right now. What are you feeling right now? What energy are you feeling in your body right now? Are you feeling calm? Are you feeling anxious? Frustrated? What kind of energy do you feel right now? What kind of energy do you typically feel? Like, when you wake up in the morning, what kind of energy do you feel? You may think, like, I feel no energy. I am exhausted. When I wake up, right? What do you feel at the end of the day? Exhausted again, right? Like, think about your days. How do you feel? How is your energy? And again, you can either go through the day and just let your energy ebb and flow and do what it does, or you can be intentional and manage your energy. And I'd like to offer you two tools to help you with this. One is meditation. Two is movement. Meditation and movement. See, our energy at any given moment, our energy is going to be either what we say up or down. And then we've got to ask, like, what energy do I need in this moment? You know, sometimes if we're— if our energy is down, then maybe we need to move. And, you know, maybe that's putting on a playlist on Spotify or playing your favorite song and having a one-person dance party. That's one of my favorite kinds of movement. So maybe you need some movement to amp up your energy. But then other times your energy is up, but not like in a good way. Your energy could be up and excited and yeah, you wanna bring that forward, but it could also be up in like an anxious way, in a frustrated way, could be angry, like you just, ugh, there's just this tension about it. In that case, I need to bring my energy down, I need to get more centered. Meditation can help with that, or if you don't like the word meditation, if you think, man, I can't meditate, Just breathe. Just inhale, exhale. Manage your energy. You can do this throughout the day. You can do it from the moment you wake up. Like, if you wake up and you are exhausted, do you want to take that energy into your day? Like, what are the odds you're going to feel like you're thriving if you wake up and you're exhausted? And, you know, maybe, okay, you maybe you drink some coffee and like that gets your energy up for a little bit, and then it's goes back down. You have the ability within your body, within your spirit, to manage your energy. So think meditation, think movement. What do I need my energy to be right now? Be proactive, be intentional. Do I need to lift my energy up? Do I need to settle down? So practice number 1 is to manage your energy. Practice number 2 Live with gratitude. Live with gratitude. You see, this is a practice, and I am working on this more and more every day. But every moment, if you are breathing in this moment, take a breath. This moment is a gift. If you're breathing, you're alive, you're here. This is a gift. The fact you're watching this here, I consider this a gift to be here with you. As I'm walking around through the day, like, you know, when I take the dog for a walk and I'm walking, I remind myself as much as I can, like, I'm walking, like, I can, I can walk. I'm so grateful that I can walk because I think of my grandfather in his later years who was, he was a farmer and he was active and he was always out and about. And then in his later years, he was confined to a wheelchair and and instead of being out on the farm, he would sit there in the house looking out the window at the farm. And I think about him and think, "Man, I'm grateful that I can still walk." Or I look up at the sky and I think, "Wow, I'm grateful that I can see the blue sky, see the clouds. I'm grateful for the people in my life, the people that I love and the people who love me." What can you be grateful for? See, gratitude is a practice. We don't just have to wait for something to be given to us to think, "Oh, thank you, I'm so grateful for that." We can recognize in every moment there is a gift here somewhere. What can I be grateful for? Because the more you can live in gratitude, the more you can practice gratitude, then the less you can feel angry and frustrated and all those other emotions you don't want to feel. Again, I want to be clear, not that we want to deny those emotions, but What do you want to have as your home base? See, when we practice gratitude, then gratitude comes more naturally to us. Then that helps us live in that state of contentment. So then when we say like, what if this is as good as it gets? It's not a hard question. You say, man, well, if this is as good as it gets, I'm so grateful that— what is it? So practice gratitude. And yeah, you might keep a gratitude journal and write down some things you're grateful for every morning, every evening. That's a wonderful thing to do, but I want to encourage you to practice it as you go through the day. You know, maybe you see a picture on the wall, you notice somebody's face, you notice somebody's clothing or their jewelry and think, wow, that's, that's a really interesting color combination, or whatever it is, and think, wow, I'm so grateful I got to experience that, to see that, to hear that. What can you be grateful for? Practice number 3: is consistent positive input. Consistent positive input. Let me tell you what I mean by that. You see, just like our circumstances, our environment will affect our energy, our circumstances, our environment, it's giving us input all the time. Like the news is giving us input all the time. The people around you will give you input all the time. The question is, is that input supporting you in living the life you want to live? Supporting you in thriving? Supporting you in rising up and being your best self? A lot of the input around us is not. So we have to be intentional about the input that we bring into our lives. And I have to do this, you know, I've been in this field of personal and professional development for over 20 years now. I've had a chance to be on the front row working with some of the greatest speakers, authors, and teachers of our day. So I've got this great library of quotes and anecdotes and insights, all the stuff that's within me. But you know, sometimes, just like you don't feel like asking the question, "What if this is as good as it gets? How can it get even better than this?" Like, sometimes I don't feel like pulling that stuff up. Like, just because I've got it in me doesn't mean I can count on myself to pull it up in a moment of frustration or overwhelm. Sadness, discouragement, despair, whatever it may be. So I make a point every day to either read something or listen to something or watch videos, whatever it may be, to get some positive input into my life to pick me back up. Because as soon as that happens, without fail, you know, it might, it might happen in the first minute. Some days it might take 5, 10, 20 minutes, 30 minutes of getting this positive input, but at some point It's gonna jar free all those stories that I'm telling myself and all this negativity and stuff that's pushing me down. And all of a sudden, like, oh, my mind changes, like something switches. All right, I'm feeling good, like I'm ready to go. That's the power of positive input. So make sure you're getting consistent positive input in your life. And by the way, you're watching this. I hope you consider this to be positive input. That's my intention. So congratulations, you're already doing it. You already know the value of this. The key word is consistent. Don't just do it like every now and then. With all these practices, the more consistent you can be, the more powerful they are in your life. Practice number 4: Affirm and feel what you desire. Affirm and feel what you desire. And I especially emphasize feel. This is something I've learned really just in the last couple of years. I mean, I've known about affirmations, or as some say, incantations, but these positive statements that you state as if it's present, as if it's true, and it's what you desire, it's how you want to live, it's who you want to be, it's what you want to experience in your life. And I've known about them for years, but it's really just in the last couple of years as I've made it a practice in my life that I've seen the power in it. The home that I live in started as an affirmation of the kind of home I live in. I'm living in a beautiful home surrounded by nature. My backyard has all kinds of ivy and trees, and it's— I'm so grateful that I found this house with that backyard. But it started as an affirmation. You know, I've had an affirmation that my son is is thriving. And he's had some challenges in school and has some special needs himself. And I started with that affirmation, like, I see him thriving. And I didn't know exactly what that would be, but then, you know, a conversation— I might be in a conversation and somebody mentioned a particular specialty, and I thought, let me look into that. And I looked into that, and then that took me to this doctor, and that took me to this specialist, and whatever it may be. Over the course of time, one conversation, one move at a time, all of a sudden his life is totally different this year than it was last year. And, you know, the journey continues, but it started with an affirmation or an intention. And I've got 4 affirmations that— these are 4 that I came up with that I'd love to give them to you. If you need some yourself, you can just go to my website, ShawnEllis.com, affirmations, or I'll put the link below the video, ShawnEllis.com/affirmations. But here are these 4 affirmations. I pulled this off my refrigerator today, and I always share these with people when I speak. But let me just read them to you here, these 4 affirmations for mastering the moments in life and work. Number 1 is, I am thriving. You see, thriving, it's not a destination. Like, I'm not thriving when, not someday I'll be thriving, but I I am thriving. I wanna feel that every day. I wanna feel that in my body. And if I state that, if I say this is my home base, thriving is not a destination, it's a state of being. I wanna be in the state of thriving. So I say, I am thriving. Second one is, I recognize that this moment is a gift and I have the power to choose my experience in it. See, that's what I wanna remind myself. Every day. So I'm not going to leave it to chance and think, "I hope I remember this moment is a gift." Now that doesn't mean that I don't miss some moments and I don't forget that sometimes, but recognizing this moment is a gift. And again, what if this is as good as it gets? Well, I recognize that I have the power to choose my experience in it. I'm not dependent on my circumstances. I'm going to tap into my power to choose my experience in it. The third affirmation: I am aligned with my highest goals, values, and priorities, and giving my best in this moment. And that's what we're doing when we state these affirmations. I am, I am, and then finish that sentence. What is it? I am what? Who are you? How are you being? Where are you living? What are you doing? What kind of relationship are you in? I'm in a passionate, loving relationship. Maybe you're thinking like, no, I'm not, right? But you start with the affirmation, you feel it. What would that feel like to be in that kind of relationship? Because then when you feel it, all of a sudden you feel it, there's this vibration around you, and just watch what happens. Watch what happens. Which gets us to the fourth affirmation: I am relaxed and I am allowing an abundance of good to flow into and out of my life. See, I'm relaxed and I am allowing an abundance of good to flow into and out of my life. This is what I know. If you've heard me speak, you've heard me share this: relax, let go, and trust. Allow life to support you, or God, or the universe, nature, whatever your beliefs may be. Allow yourself to be supported. You see, my role and your role is to, to claim our power to shape our experience, to state our affirmations, to state our desires, to feel them, knowing that if I show up in life this way, then life will respond in a supportive way. Now that doesn't mean that there aren't going to be bad days. It doesn't mean it's going to happen overnight. But when you choose your experience, when you claim that power within yourself, you state your affirmations, you feel them as much as possible. Again, it's a practice. It's not always going to be easy, but the more you practice it, the easier it gets. The more you practice it, the more capacity you have. So number 4, affirm and feel what you desire. Feel it. I know it may be a little weird at first, like, how do I feel this? I don't see this. You need to close your eyes. Think about it. Put yourself in that situation. If we use that relationship again, like that example, I'm in a passionate, loving relationship. Let me see that. Let me feel that. Let me be there. Just use your imagination. Remember, unleash the power of possibility. Affirmations do that. Practice number 5: Do what you're doing. Do what you're doing. What we're really talking about here is the practice of presence, or the power of presence. To be fully present in this moment. To bring the fullness of yourself into this moment. See, all your talents, all your experience, all your insights, that's all within you. But if we go through life and we're so overwhelmed, like, I see all these things I've got to focus on and my mind is all over the place, my focus is all over the place. Well, my focus is all over the place, my energy is all over the place. And then guess what? Remember we talked about how, like, man, I am so exhausted. You know why you're so exhausted? Because your energy is divided up in all these different directions thinking about, like, man, this thing that happened yesterday, I'm still thinking about that, I'm still rolling over, rolling that over in my mind. I know I got this other thing coming up later today or tomorrow. I don't know how I'm gonna get all that done. Our energy is all over the place. And then at the same time, we're scrolling through Instagram or watching YouTube videos. We, you know, whatever it may be. Somebody knocks at the door, the phone rings, a text comes in. Our energy is all over the place. Do what you're doing right here, right now. Let me just ask you, as you're watching this video, is this the only thing you're doing right now? Like, are you looking me in the eye right now and listening and fully focused on this? Are you taking notes? Like, are you fully engaged? If you're not, it's okay. No shame in that. But I'm asking you those questions to make a point that if you're not, like if you're, you know, maybe the video is playing in the background and you're doing a couple of other things at the same time, this This is how most of us go through the day. But is that the best way? Because you see, do what you're doing, it's, it's an invitation to be fully focused, fully present. Because when you are fully present right here with, with this project, with this person, when you are fully present, then you can give that project, give that person the best of yourself. You know what? You can also experience the joy of this moment, the fullness of joy. Like yesterday, I was working on a spreadsheet for my bookkeeper, and I do not enjoy spreadsheets. It's not on my list. Like, if you ask me, like, tell me your top 5 things you want to do today, spreadsheets are not going to be on there. But I had to do it, so I had to just shut off everything else, shut off notifications, dive in, take care of the spreadsheet. And you know what? I'm not going to say it was joyful, like, man, I love that, I can't wait to do that again. But I was able to experience peace in it and just a joyful presence. I got the job done and then I moved on to the next thing. I encourage you to practice. Do what you're doing. When you're in a conversation with someone, instead of thinking about what you're gonna say next, instead of looking over their shoulder, instead of thinking about, you know, what you gotta do or whatever it is, what do I need to hear right now? What does this person need me to hear right now? Do what you're doing. And if you're working on a project or a task, you know, I know you may have like 20 different things you gotta get to today. I say turn your to-do list into a one-do list. There's all these things, but you can only do one thing right now. Can you give yourself to this project, this task, for just 5 minutes, just 15 minutes? Just give yourself the space to do what you're doing. Maybe, yeah, you can't do that all 8 hours, 10, 12 hours of the day, but can you try it for 5 minutes? It's practice, right? 15 minutes when you're at the dinner table with your family, do what you're doing. As the great teacher Ram Dass says, "Be here now. You can be somewhere else later." So these are the 5 practices to allow you to rise up and thrive in the midst of everything that's going on around you. Don't leave life to chance. If you want more happiness, if you want more joy, more peace, more meaning, whatever it is that you want in your life, don't leave it to chance. Don't hope it happens. Don't wait for someday, like, "If this happens, then I'll feel it." Be intentional. Take responsibility. Incorporate these practices into your life. Start small. And if I can support you on the way, let me know. Leave a comment on the video. Reach out to me. Let me know what I can do to support you on this journey. And make sure you get those 4 affirmations if you wanna incorporate those into your life. And just maybe, like I said, I post those on my refrigerator. You might put them on your bathroom mirror. You might just have them on your phone that you can just look at them and just read them and remember, feel them. Like if you say, "I am thriving," your body's gonna say, "No, you're not." Right? Say, "I am thriving." I recognize this moment is a gift. Feel it. These are my 5 practices for you. Thank you for being here and watching this series. Thank you for sharing this moment of your life with me, allowing me to speak into your life. I hope this serves you. Don't leave life to chance. Be intentional. Live the life that you desire. As I always say, life is an accumulation of moments. But all that matters right now is what will you do with this one? Grace and peace to you, my friend.