Episode #26: You Should Do That!

Hello, my friend, and welcome to the Better Life, Better Business podcast. I'm your host, Shawn Ellis, and I'm so glad you're here. So glad you chose to press play and listen. This is my first episode in almost 7 years. This podcast started back in July 2011. At that time, it was under the title This Moment Matters, and It's been a journey. I recently celebrated 20 years in business and this podcast has been part of that evolution. And this episode's title, by the way, is "You Should Do That," which I probably should have said at the beginning, but I'm just getting back into the flow of things. And so yeah, I'm just now saying the title, "You Should Do That." And this is sort of a meta sort of thing because this very podcast episode and coming back and recording again is me saying to myself, you should do that. And I thought, you know what, I'm just going to make that the first episode. I'm just going to hit record. I'm going to start talking. And this is it because I've wanted to bring the podcast back for a while now and for one reason or another, I just— I haven't, because I'm sure you know how that goes. There's always something that gets in the way. And for some reason, the timing wasn't right and I didn't have the perfect plan. I didn't know what would come next and all sorts of reasons. And a lot of those reasons are still there today. But I was listening to another podcast, Rob Bell's podcast called The Robcast. Shout out to Rob Bell. If you don't listen to Rob, check him out. Um, he's been one of my favorite teachers for, for several years, um, a decade, I guess now. And, and I found his podcast to be helpful in some really, really, um, difficult spaces in life. And, and I hadn't listened to his podcast in a while, and, and I started listening to it today. I was on the way back from dropping my, uh, my partner's daughter off at preschool and and I just hit play on, on his most recent episode. And as I was listening, I thought, man, I want to, I want to bring my podcast back. And I thought, you know what, you should do that. So here we are. And so as much as this podcast is, is for you, it's also for me. And I just want to say to you, you should do that. Meaning if you've got something you've been thinking about, something that just won't let you go, then you should do that. And so I hope by me recording this, as imperfect as it is, no lead-in music, nothing like that, no fancy production. I don't have the next 6 episodes queued up, ready to go, but I've been wanting to bring this back. And so I'm doing it. Here we are. And what I want to talk about is this idea, you should do that. We're going to kind of use that as the theme and we'll unpack that a little bit more and see, you know, what do you, what do you have in your mind that you should do that? But if maybe you're somebody that if you've been hanging on, if you're a subscriber and you've been here for, for years waiting for another episode, well, thanks for coming back. Or if you're just here for the first time, thanks for giving us a chance. Maybe you're somebody that you've followed me for years. For the last decade or more than a decade, I've been out speaking at events, speaking along the, around the theme of This Moment Matters or Mastering the Moments or Going Beyond Resilience. And this year we've got a brand new keynote called Adapt and Thrive. And it's all, it's all inspirational in nature, really about helping people navigate change and cultivate resilience. How do you rise above challenges? And what it's really about though, at its core for me, is about helping people find a way to live the life that, that is most authentic to them. I developed a coaching program called Live Your Calling, and it's, it's not even about living your vocational calling. It's about the idea that that we're all called to a life of joy, to a life of peace, to a life of meaning and fulfillment. I believe that is your calling and my calling. I believe that's the human calling. I believe that's what we're here for. And in my presentations, that's what I talk about when I talk about thriving and making the shift from just surviving, from being a victim of your circumstances to just trying to get through the challenges to actually being in the moment and showing up fully and living your authentic life. And I talk about these things not because I've got it all figured out and I'm doing it perfectly. I talk about these things because this is, this has been my own journey. As I mentioned, I recently celebrated 20 years in business, 20 years of owning my own business. And, and that journey has, has not gone the way that I thought it would. Actually, my, whole life hasn't, hasn't gone the way I thought that I thought it would. If, if you've seen me speak, a lot of times I open after kind of setting up the presentation, I say, you know, why, why am I here talking about these things like navigating change and cultivating resilience? And, and I share that when I was 17 years old, I moved to Nashville to pursue a career in music. And the fact that I'm joined on stage now with PowerPoint as opposed to with my piano or with a band tells you things didn't quite go according to plan. And, uh, safe to say a lot of things in my life haven't gone according to plan. And I know the same is true for you because we make our plans, we set our goals, and we have our dreams. And then life kind of shows up in its own way. Reality sets in and we kind of get off track and And if you stay off track too long, then you, you kind of, well, you, you start to feel down, frustrated, depressed, even lost, empty. Those are all words that if you read through my journals over the last 15+ years, I've been in those places where you do, you just feel lost. Like, what am I doing here? This is not the life that I had dreamed of. And so when I talk about cultivating resilience, when I talk about navigating change, I share practical tools and ideas to really meet the change, to meet the circumstances that are here in this moment. But it's what it's really about is, is providing a roadmap to get back to the life that is true to you, to create the life and the work that you truly love. That's what it means to me to go beyond resilience, to to go beyond just surviving and get back to a place of truly thriving. And, and I don't want to go deep into that in this particular episode, but maybe just to kind of set, set the backdrop, I'm imagining a Bob Ross painting here. If you watch Bob Ross paint with his happy little trees, and Bob Ross is a part of my story, and his son Steve, and learning to paint, and maybe I'll share that in another episode, but, but I love watching Bob Ross and, and, you know, Bob, you first of all, you got to put the backdrop on there. You got to put the, the sky and then you need the clouds and some water and all those sorts of things. And then you can kind of add the things in the foreground, add the elements, the, the big giant trees and the big giant mountains and all those sorts of things. But first you need the background. So that's just a little bit of background here. To set up or to kind of place to show you where this idea, you should do that, fits into everything. And speaking right now, by the way, I don't have an outline. I jotted down some notes of things I wanted to, to mention here, but this is not perfect in any way. Today is a day actually of all days to record this, to say, hey, I'm coming back, I'm doing this podcast again. Today wouldn't be the day to do that because today started over 4 hours ago at this point and getting up and we had to get up super early and make some crazy arrangements to get the kids where they needed to be this morning and sort of a wild morning. So I'm 4 hours into the day and I'm just now sitting down at my desk and there's a lot of things I should be doing that I need to be doing that I'm going to do right after this. But I wanted to just take time. I put 15 minutes on the clock and I said, this, this episode will be 15 minutes or less, but I'll give myself 15 minutes to get this out, to record this, because I had the thought, you should do that. Like, why not? Because this podcast, it's not just something arbitrary for me. This, this year, 2024, as I record this, January 2024, I made the decision going into this year after talking with, with my girlfriend, my partner Megan. We were just talking about kind of how things have gone, where things are this last year. I relocated from Nashville to Columbus, Ohio, and had to deal with some challenges on the personal front, the parenting front. And, and it— the transition didn't go the way I thought it would go. I mean, there's a lot of great things here, but it was a it was a tough year. And of course, we're only a few years removed from COVID which being in a business of live events and gatherings of people, that was a challenging time. So it's been, it's been a crazy, crazy time here. But it came to that place where you got to make a decision like, hey, are you going to really do this or are you going to move on? Are you going to decide, I'm going to find a way, I'm going to make this work? Or are you going to decide that, okay, It's time to move on. And by the way, either one of those decisions are okay. It's okay to say, okay, that season is complete, I'm moving on. And that doesn't mean it's easy. It's always hard. There's always grieving when you let go of something that's been a part of your life for a long time. But, but that's where you've got to get back to just kind of doing some soul searching and figuring out, figuring out what's true to you and I've said for years that I do what I do— speaking and writing and coaching and teaching on these topics— I do it because I can't not do it. And as a result of following that, my business hasn't been as successful as it could be because this isn't the business that I started 20 years ago. I started a different kind of business, but a few years into it, I started feeling this calling and feeling this pull to, to do something different. And so I bypassed what, what would have been the sure path to revenue and building a better business to, to follow this dream, this calling, this desire. And I'm not saying that's the right decision for everyone. It's the path that I followed. And, and there were— I've had to pay a price for that because, again, the business wasn't as successful as it could have been because I wasn't following the business metrics and doing things the way that, that you necessarily should do if you want to run a successful business. But success is, is up to you. You define what success is to you. And this has been my journey. And now I'm in a place where I had to make that decision. Okay, what are we doing here? What are we going to really buckle down and make this happen? Or is it time to move on? And, and collectively, jointly, we made the decision that, okay, I'm going all in, we're bringing this back. And so if you've seen any of my recent social media posts, I said 2023 was a beast, 2024, I'm the beast, meaning I'm rising up, I'm coming back. And these motivational posts, it's not just empty motivation, it's really it's for me as much as it's for anyone else. And as part of that coming back, there are different pieces to that. Number one, I want to build a more successful business. I want to be a provider for my family, but I also want to do this work that I know that I'm called to do, which is sharing this message to be a source of, of light and inspiration to meet those who are feeling lost, empty, depressed, discouraged on the journey of life. To help them find refuge, to help them get back to a place of calm and a place of peace. And then from there, to help them get clarity about where they go next, to find the courage to step into their vision, to have the confidence to keep going, and then to, to build a community around them. And those are my 5 C's to adapt and thrive. Calm, clarity, courage, Confidence and community, the 5 C's that will allow you to face whatever circumstances you face, to rise above and to move forward. And so today, this episode, you should do that again. That thing that, that won't let you go. Is there something that you just can't not do it? Double negative there. I know intentionally. What is it that makes you feel alive? Is there something that's calling out to you? In the future, I'll, I'll do a deeper dive into these desires and where they come from. But it's really interesting, just a little quick note on that, is when you're in survival mode, when you're feeling stressed and anxious and worried, it's the, the part of your brain— knows the amygdala is what kind of lights up, that's what's active, and that's kind of your fierce fear and aggression and that emotional center, the amygdala is what lights up. But when you shift your thoughts to, to, to your values and your purpose and your calling, some of your, your brain function moves to a different area. Blood flow kind of goes into this part of the brain, those, the ventromedial prefrontal cortex. So it's truly lifting your thoughts, lifting your thinking to a higher part of your brain. So what is that for you? I see here the clock is, is coming up on 15 minutes. So, so we got to bring this thing to a close. But again, I want to thank you for listening, for being here, for allowing me to come back. And as we start this new year, as we relaunch the podcast, wherever you are in your life, let this be a new beginning. So I want you to think about whatever it is that, that thing that won't let you go. And I want to say to you, you should do that. Just like I put 15 minutes on the clock to come back and do this podcast episode. It didn't have to be perfect. It's not perfect. What is a baby step you could take to just get a taste of it? Just allow yourself to feel what it feels like to do that thing that won't let you go, that thing that you want to do. Allow yourself to feel that. And what I'm betting is if it's something that lights you up, then it's something that's going to mean something to someone else as well. And first of all, just if it lights you up, then you're going to show up for those people around you. You're going to show up with a different energy. So just that alone is going to impact the world around you. That's how we create this community. That's how we serve the community, how we serve one another. But what is that for you? I mentioned— I'll just close with this one little story that my partner Megan and I, when we first met, my parents had moved to Ohio, a small town in Ohio, and I was helping them move in. And I was single at the time, and I was thinking of just where I was in life. I thought, you know, maybe, maybe I should make a move up here. Maybe it wouldn't be bad after almost 30 years in Nashville. And, but I thought, you know, I wonder, would I find anybody up here to, to date? Would I find anybody with some similar values and that sort of thing? So I hopped on the dating apps as we do, which is a lot of fun when you're in your mid-40s. It's a great place. It's exactly where you want to be at that time of life. Sarcasm there, in case you can't tell through the, through the speaker. But I hopped on the dating app. I thought, you know, let me just see what's out there. And Megan was right there, uh, one of the first people I saw. And I saw her picture and read her profile, and she just captivated me immediately. And so I reached out and we matched and sent messages. And by the time we truly connected, I was already back in Nashville, which she gives me a hard time about, like, hey, you were right here, 10 minutes away, and you decide to wait till you're back in Nashville, 6 hours away, to connect. And so that's a whole other story. But as we connected, we found so many things in common and just both of us felt a connection unlike, unlike anything that either of us had felt before. And one of the things we connected over was just silly sense of humor and laughing and, and we kind of became a running joke for us where we said, man, this was a bad idea. It's not going anywhere good, but we're here, so what the hell? Let's see what happens. And now here we are, more than a year in, and I'm living in Ohio and we're doing life together. And it's just been— it's been really amazing, really special. But you know what? That comes on the other side of taking a chance, seeing what's out there. I had No intention of starting a relationship with someone in Ohio, 6 hours away. We're both single parents. Had no intention of doing that. I just thought, let's see what's out there. And then I found this connection that's been just an amazing gift in my life. So that's what the— that's what's on the other side of saying, hey, you should do that. You should give that a try. You never know what happens. And hey, you know what? Maybe it was a bad idea. Maybe it's not going anywhere good, but what the hell? Let's see what happens, right? This is your life. So follow that dream, follow that desire, follow that hunch. And by the way, maybe it's not something like returning to a podcast or starting a podcast or starting a new career. It might just be smiling at somebody the next time you go to the grocery store. It might be sending somebody an email that just to let them know what you— what they meant to you or what they mean to you. Saying thank you to someone. Maybe it means taking a timeout to, to go for a hike. Like, life's been so busy, so full, and you just haven't, haven't found any time for yourself. Maybe it's going for a hike. Maybe it's Watching Bob Ross paint. Maybe it's getting a canvas and some paint and painting yourself. I don't know. What is it for you? But whatever it is, I think you should do that. Because that's how we live a better life and build a better business. The more we can come into alignment with who we truly are, the more you can come into alignment with who you truly are. That's the path to a better life. And when you live a better life, you will build a better business or better career, whatever it is for you. But I think you should do that. And if you're thinking, hey, this podcast is pretty interesting, maybe I'll check it out again. You should do that. I'm thinking, hey, this was kind of fun. I enjoyed this. Maybe I should do it again. You should do that. So thanks again for listening. I'm Shawn Ellis. If you want to learn more about me and my work, it's at ShawnEllis.com. S-H-A-W-N-E-L-L-I-S.com. I'm on the socials @ShawnJasonEllis. J-A-S-O-N, my middle name. @ShawnJasonEllis on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, TikTok. I'm getting around. I'm coming back, coming back better than ever, I would say. And I hope you are too. Look forward to talking to you again next time.