Episode #32: Community Is Your Competitive Advantage

Hello, my friend, and welcome to the Better Life, Better Business podcast. I'm your host, Shawn Ellis, and this is episode number 32 titled Community is Your Competitive Advantage. Now, I almost titled this episode One Week in August, and I'll explain why in a moment. But first, before we dive in, I want you to think about a time when you felt truly supported. When you knew that without a doubt someone had your back. Can you think of a time like that? Can you remember that feeling? Because that's what community is all about. And today I'm going to show you how that feeling isn't just comforting, but I believe it's truly your greatest edge in life and business. And I'm saying this as an introvert. So it's taken me a while to come around to this idea, but hopefully by the end of the episode, you'll be able to entertain this possibility and perhaps be able to believe it and use it to make the next chapter of your life, work, business better than you could have imagined. Let me say this, though, before we go too far. When I say competitive advantage, I'm not just speaking to business leaders or entrepreneurs here, although I know that when you hear competitive advantage, you might think of marketing or sales. And while certainly it applies there, this idea really applies to everyone. Doesn't matter where you are in life or what role you play. And if competitive advantage isn't a phrase that you use regularly, maybe think of it as your personal edge, that unique strength or quality that sets you apart and helps you achieve your goals, whether personally or professionally. And what I want to share today is that community is your competitive advantage. And it's something I've been reflecting on a lot, particularly after that one week in August. The last episode I did was titled She Said Yes, and I introduced you to my fiancée Megan after she had accepted my proposal. For marriage. And, and then I kind of went silent, and that wasn't really intentional, just there's been a lot going on leading up to that one week in August. And now I'm happy to say that Megan is my wife because we got married. And then a few days after that, I released my first book, Mastering the Moments: A Journey of Endings, Beginnings, and the Space in Between. And then on the very next day, I spoke to over 6,000 people at the Toastmasters 100th Annual Convention, which was truly an honor and an absolute joy. After 25 years in the speaking business, it was, it was just a real treat to be able to speak to that audience for that organization, which has just been a mainstay in the, the speaking or communication space. But all that happened in the course of one week. And on one hand, I could talk about just how amazing all those things were, but I'm not sharing that just to tell you about the happenings or the achievements. But the truth is that none of those events would have happened without the power of community. Because if you follow me on social media, You've seen the pictures. I posted a picture from our wedding day and we're holding a sign that says best day ever. You've seen the book cover leading up to the book release. You've maybe seen some pictures from the Toastmasters event. Those are the highlights. That's what social media is, right? But what you don't see there is what went on behind the scenes to make all of those events possible. And we can take, let's just go one by one. We'll take the wedding. That week leading up to, to us getting married, which was— it was tough for us to fit in our— our lives were so crazy between stuff with our 3 kids and work and all these things. We decided to do a courthouse wedding, which is, is the way my grandparents got married way, way back a long time ago. And we just decided that that would be the best way for us to make it happen. So we invited our parents, and it was a really special day. But leading up to that week, we went in to get our marriage license. And when we went in there, having been divorced, I needed to provide my certified divorce decree in order to get the marriage license. Well, the problem with that is I didn't have a copy of my certified divorce decree. So the whole wedding was in jeopardy if we couldn't figure that out. So I reached out to my dear friend Joy back in Nashville, and I said, hey, would it be possible for you to go pick up a copy of this for me and then overnight it? And when we spoke, she was doing a girls' day out and they totally changed their plans, rerouted everything to be able to go get the copy of the divorce decree. They overnighted it here. And then on the morning of the day we were going to get married, we went in to get our marriage license and it all worked out. And, and truly community saved the day that day. So that picture you see of best day ever wouldn't have been possible without community. And then let's go to the book release a few days later. Well, one reason that, that I've been really quiet, no podcast episodes, very little on social media these last few months, is because I was working on that book. I was under a deadline to finish the writing, to get it edited, to get the the COVID designed, you know, to get all the details in place for it to be published. And if you pick up a copy of that book, you'll see that it's my name on the COVID I'm the author of Mastering the Moments, and, uh, that's an honor and an achievement, and I'm proud and grateful. But what it doesn't show there is the community behind the scenes that made that possible. It's no coincidence that this book didn't come out before I met my wife Megan. I've been working on this book really, you know, going back 10 years to the origin, but over the last 5 really. And I thought it would have come out long before now. If you've written a book, you know how much goes into it. If you've attempted to write a book, you know how much goes into it. I've always had tremendous admiration and respect for anyone who published a book. And now after going through the process, I have even more because it's just, it's a project. There's no other way to say it. But that project wouldn't have happened. I wouldn't have been able to get that across the finish line without Megan taking care of all the responsibilities at home with our 3 kids and making sure everything happened there so I could be freed up to work on the book. And then in my business, the speakers group, thanks to my team, Jan and Dawn, they were able to keep all of that moving forward while most of my attention was going toward the book. So truly, community made that possible. And if you read the book, by the way, the book, while it's stories from my life, really every one of those stories is what I call an intersection with somebody else, whether somebody said something that made a difference in my life or an interaction that led to a special experience. I dedicate the book to my son. I call him my little guru. And because I've learned so many lessons thanks to him, but that book is really, it's a story of all these intersections. That book truly would not exist without community. And then the Toastmasters event, the same thing. While, you know, when there's a speaker on stage, one person has the microphone and the spotlight, but behind the scenes, a lot has to happen. First of all, everyone at Toastmasters— Diana and Renee, my main contacts there— as we were putting it all together, they helped to get me the information that I needed and helped to coordinate everything. Brandy helped with travel coordination. So the whole team at Toastmasters, that's part of the community. But the week before that event, a potential family crisis popped up, and, and I won't go into the details here, but just to say there were some real questions about how I was going to be able to pull this off and whether I would have to adjust travel plans. But thanks to the community once again, and in this case being some professionals that we had connected with and family members, I was able to hand that off to others and trust that everything was going to be taken care of so I could focus on doing what I needed to do to show up with peace of mind and clarity and deliver the presentation at Toastmasters. But I, I share all that to highlight the power of community, and in doing so, I, I want to encourage you to do a check on your own community right now, personally and professionally. And, and in this episode, I want to offer you some practical ways to harness the power of community to help you navigate the challenges you may be facing right now, and, and also to accelerate your success, to find deeper meaning in your journey. So my hope is that when you finish this episode, you'll feel inspired to either build or expand your own community today, because I truly believe community is your competitive advantage. And now, if you've followed my work for any length of time, maybe you're familiar with my 5 C's to adapt and thrive, and the 5th C is community. And this absolutely ties back to that. And as I said, as an introvert, community, it's not something I've talked much about over the years. In fact, it's something I've often avoided, choosing to focus instead on self-reliance, on what we as individuals can tap into in any given moment to cultivate resilience and adaptability. But the truth is, the, the first 4 C's are all about what you and I can do. But there comes a time when we reach our limits, and that's when we need someone else. That's when we need community. And so when I share the story of the marriage, the book release, the speaking engagement, and I say it wouldn't be possible without community, that's absolutely true. So why then— why do I say community is your competitive advantage? Well, I was thinking about this recently because we often, especially in business, we focus a lot on competition. Meaning, you know, we look around and we see who we're up against and we're trying to figure out how do we stand out, how do we rise above. And that's true if we're a business, you want to stand out from your competition. But even as an individual in the workplace, you want to stand out from your peers, whether you think of them explicitly as competition or not. You want to stand out, you want to make your mark and position yourself to rise up through the ranks. But I believe we stand more to gain by working together than by working against each other. You see, community, again, it doesn't just feel good, but it allows you to be your best. It supports you in becoming your best, because when you're surrounded by a community that's built on true authentic connection where you can show up with vulnerability, then you can focus on being the best version of yourself. And, and you leave the competition, you know, they're going to do their best and become their best. But the truth of the matter is, when you are your best, there is no one else like you. There is no competition for who you are. There is only one of you. But it takes community to bring that out. Both in terms of supporting you and offering you encouragement when things are challenging, but also holding you accountable and saying, hey, I know you're better than this. I know you can do more. And so it pushes us to achieve more than we normally would. And then also the reality is we all have weaknesses. We have strengths and we have weaknesses. And sure, we want to be the best we can be and play to our strengths and strengthen our weaknesses. But still, at the end of the day, there are going to be some things that I just— I don't do so well, or at least to say someone else does it a whole lot better than me. And so when we build a community around ourselves, then we can focus on doing what we do best and the community shows up doing what they do best. And we are stronger and better off as a result. So community means having the people to encourage you, to hold you accountable, to help you grow. And also, community is not just about being on the receiving end. Community is also about giving. It's about showing up for others, sharing your talents, sharing your experience, sharing your perspective. Because at the end of the day, isn't that what really brings true meaning and depth to our lives. When I think about some of the things that I've been through, it's definitely been challenging for me, just as your path has been challenging for you, I know. And what's brought meaning to me is to be able to give back, whether it's writing a book, whether it's doing coaching, talking with a friend who's going through a tough time, doing speaking engagements, to be able to show up and share something from my experience and then know that it matters, that it helps somebody else, that changes everything. So it just brings meaning and depth to our lives. But I also saw, as I was preparing for this recent speaking engagement, just trying to deepen my knowledge of the power of community, I came across some recent research from Gallup that 20% of workers around the world experience loneliness on a daily basis. In other words, 1 out of 5 workers experience loneliness on a daily basis. And if you work remotely, those numbers jump up to 25% that experience loneliness on a daily basis, or 1 out of 4. And I know I've experienced loneliness. I know you have. We know it doesn't feel good, but what really caught me off guard was seeing the health risk that's connected to loneliness. The U.S. Surgeon General compares the effects of loneliness to smoking 15 cigarettes a day. So community, not only does it help us achieve more, but also it's truly critical to our well-being. So as the, the pace of change accelerates, as there's more and more uncertainty in the world, all these things that can leave you feeling isolated, leave you feeling like, man, nobody understands what I'm going through. Community becomes more and more critical, not just to survive all the challenges, but really to thrive in this constantly accelerating world. So how do you build or expand your community? Let me just offer some practical ideas here, because I hope as you're hearing this, you're thinking, yeah, you know what, I, I could— maybe I could use some more community. Maybe I'm not as plugged in as I would like to be. So here are some steps you can take. Number 1, take a moment to identify or to assess where you are in your life in terms of community. Identify the gaps. Where are you lacking support? Is it at work? Do you need to connect with a mentor at work? Is it there, or, or is it in your personal life? Maybe things are okay at work, but in your personal life you're seeing, like, communities kind of dwindled a bit in recent years. So to start with, identify those gaps. That's the first step toward building a stronger community, is just seeing where you are presently. And then from there, the second step is to start small and reach out to someone, whether it's a colleague, an old friend. I will say that just in these last couple weeks, I've had the chance to reconnect with 3 different people who go back 20 to 25 years in my life, and some of them I hadn't talked to in almost that time. It was just really special to connect with somebody from a different era in life and remember that you both shared some experiences there and to hear stories. One of the guys I used to work with years ago, and then come to find out we had both been on this similar path in terms of bankruptcy and divorce and coming out on the other side with a perspective that just allows you to feel like life is better than ever, not because of external circumstances, but because of what you've learned about life, what you've learned about yourself. Community offers that. But also, you know, community, you can find it in going to seminars and working with a coach or a therapist, mentor. Maybe, you know, maybe it's going to a Toastmasters Club meeting. I just mentioned that I spoke For Toastmasters, and I'll tell you, in getting to know that organization in a more up close and personal way as I was preparing to speak there, it's just a really special place. I've never seen a group where everyone is so committed to growth and service and leadership and supporting one another. I heard story after story of how members found more confidence from going to these club meetings. So maybe it's going to a Toastmasters club meeting, maybe it's just a meetup. Maybe it's a professional association, a chamber of commerce, but where could you plug in to find some like-minded individuals who share your goals and values? But start small. Send an email, make a phone call. You don't have to show up at a meeting today, but what would be a small step you could take? And then from there, the third step is just to keep going, to be consistent, because building a community doesn't happen overnight. It's, it's about consistent small steps. And as I said, as an introvert, this is something that doesn't come naturally to me. I'm working to get better and better at it. I started a mastermind group within my company, the Speakers Group. I work with hundreds of speakers, and obviously working with that many speakers, we can't all be in touch on a regular basis. But I've started putting together a smaller group where we can get together periodically and share in our successes, share our goals, and share our challenges, and, and offer ideas back and forth. And to a person, everybody in that group, it's been just this breath of fresh air because speaking is one of those isolated, lonely professions. If you happen to be listening to this and you are a speaker, reach out to us at The Speakers Group and, and I can tell you more about what we're doing and see if it's something that would be a fit for you to plug in with. Take those small steps, make it a habit to connect with others on a regular basis, whether it's a phone call, an email, attending a meeting, whatever it may be. And I'm continuing to work on that myself. One thing I've done is, you know, I'll have these call requests that pop up on my calendar. Sometimes it's an old friend, sometimes it's a colleague looking for help, sometimes it's clients. And my schedule can just kind of fill in with these calls. And one day I was getting really frustrated by that because I looked at my calendar and I was like, man, there's only like a 2-hour window here for me to do some other work. And then I had one of these calls and that call was such a gift. That conversation was the highlight of my day. And I thought, you know what, moving forward, I'm changing my perspective on these calls. I'm going to look at every call on my calendar as a gift and an opportunity to connect with someone. And sure, some of them are going to be more meaningful than others. Sometimes they'll be like, huh, well, I could have done without, without that today, but you just never know. So it's just a note: every connection is a gift. So just be consistent. And then the fourth thing is remember to give as much as you get, maybe even more. But remember that community is a two-way street. So look for ways to show up with others, not just to be supported, but to offer your support, to offer your expertise, your encouragement. Maybe you reach out to somebody that's been on your mind, because we all have those people that have been on our mind a lot. Maybe you just need to reach out to somebody, send a text, make a call, send an email and say, hey, I was just thinking about you and wanted to check in. It can be as simple as that. And you never know who you're going to reach on the other end, what their situation might be. But the more you give, the stronger your community will become. Community is not just something nice to have. It is your competitive advantage. I believe that. As the world we live in becomes more and more isolated through technology, on one hand, we're more connected than we've ever been. But then on the other hand, as you know, we're more isolated than we've ever been. I mean, we go to the grocery store and we don't have to even have to see anybody to check out. You go to the gas station. I remember the old days going to the gas station with my grandparents when it was full service and the guy would come up and wash the windshield, check the oil, do all that, ask, how are you doing today? And now we try to avoid human contact as much as possible. But I do believe that there is more to gain from us working together than when we work against each other. We can work together and each become our best, and then we just let the competition piece go where it goes. You know, if I'm my best, then I trust that the right people are going to find their way to me. I'm going to find my way to the right people. I talk about resilience, I talk about adaptability, it's inspirational in nature. There are a lot of other speakers that fit under those categories and under those umbrellas, but I trust that when I show up as my best, there's a certain audience, a certain client base I can serve, and there's a certain client base and audience that my, quote, competitors can serve. But I know that together it's a whole lot better when we, when we join forces and support each other. Because without community, there's a ceiling on how high you can go. You can give it your absolute best, but at some point you're going to come to your personal limits. But with the right community around you to support you, to hold you accountable, all the things we talked about, you can achieve heights beyond your imagination. So I want you to imagine a year in the future. There you are standing there and you're looking back at how your community has grown over the past year. And then you realize that this moment listening to this podcast was the moment you decided to make it happen. Think about the connections you'll have made, the support you'll have given and received just from, again, taking those small steps, sending an email, sending a text, making a call. Think about the impact that will have had on your personal and professional life when you look back on that past year. That's what's possible. Right now. I appreciate you listening to the podcast today, and stay tuned for future episodes, by the way, because as we get back into this podcast groove, I'm going to be introducing you to some of the members of my community, other speakers and authors and thought leaders with just amazing perspective and expertise who can support you on your own journey to live a better life and build a better business. So I can't wait for that. And then again, just a little book plug, my book Mastering the Moments is available Now, I'd love to join you and contribute to your life that way. If you find yourself navigating the endings or beginnings or the space in between in life, that's what Mastering the Moments is all about. It's filled with stories and insights to inspire you and guide you through that journey. You can also sign up for my weekly newsletter at ShawnEllis.com/weekly. That's S-H-A-W-N-E-L-L-I-S.com/weekly. That's where I share tips and stories each week to help you live a better life and build a better business. So if I can serve you in that way and be a part of your extended community, I would be honored and grateful. And if I can support you in some other way, reach out at my website. Let me know. Thank you for being here today. Thank you for listening. And remember, community is your competitive advantage. So until next time, keep building, keep