Shawn Ellis explains how a simple "would you rather" question replaces willpower with autonomy. Asking yourself to choose between a donut and fresh vegetables gives your brain space to align with deeper goals instead of forcing a decision through willpower alone.
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Let's say your dream or your vision is to reach a level of optimal health. Like, I wanna be healthier, I wanna be more fit. And in this moment, I've got the choice, okay, there's a donut and there's some carrots. Well, on the surface, hands down, I'm taking the donut. But what if we ask that other question, like, wait a minute, would you rather eat some fresh vegetables that give you energy? Because I know, I've eaten vegetables before, I don't love them, but I know I feel good afterward. I feel like that was a good choice. Or I eat the donut and I know it tastes good, but in about 27 seconds, I'm going to realize that was not the right choice. But what, what this does, it's not just a silly tool. It's giving your brain a sense of autonomy as opposed to trying to force something, force your brain to do something, to make a choice that doesn't feel good, that's uncomfortable, that's undesirable. Well, if you apply force, I mean, if you— let's try something. Raise your hands if you're able. Raise your hands above your head. This is going to be hard for me with a mic here, but raise your hands above your head and put your hands together and press on your left hand with your right hand. Press on your left hand with your right hand. I said press on your left hand with your right hand. Why are your hands stuck? I didn't say to push back with your left hand. But that's what happens when we try to force something. If we feel forced, okay, I'm gonna push back. It's that energy of resistance. Thanks for playing along, by the way. You did exactly what you should do. But that's what happens when we try to force a decision on ourselves. So what if we could just pause and ask this question? For one thing, just going through that process inserts some space to think a little bit more about this decision. But again, it's giving your brain a chance to decide, well, yeah, of course that's what I want. But in the moment, in that survival mode, the choice we make is not always the best one.
