Human Skills Every Teen Needs for College, Careers & an AI Future with Rob Heller

Parents, is your teen college ready? Are you feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or excited about your teen applying to college? Do you know what colleges are looking for? And if your kid gets in, do you know what you'll pay for it? College admission has never been so competitive or expensive. Shellee Howard will take you on a journey to help you and your teen get college ready. Now here's your host, Shellee.

Hello parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and more. This is Shellee Howard, the CEO of College Ready, and Today on Parents, Is Your Teen College Ready? I cannot wait to share Mr. Rob Heller. Welcome to the show.

Thank you, Shellee Howard. So glad to be here.

Outstanding. So Rob, I know that I know what you do, but can you tell our listeners a little bit about yourself and what we're going to talk about today?

I'd be happy to do that. But first off, Shellee Howard, it's incredible the work you did. And I just said it before, I have 3 kids that are through college. I wish I had met you when they were teenagers. So again, keep up the great work. It's amazing the stuff that you do, but my name My name's Rob Heller, and I, I had started a program called the BOOST program years ago. I have 3 kids, and when my oldest, who's now, this was, uh, almost 20 years ago, was a teenager, I knew that at the end of the day, there was certain skills, life skills, people skills, character that was really gonna make or break. Yes, we'd love 'em to be a great student. We'd like 'em to be a good athlete, but at the end of the day, it's really their skills around these things that really allow them to thrive. I started a program, I got busy in some other businesses, and now I'm really back at it. So it's called the BOOST program. It's taught in a lot of schools, and that's That's really where I'm coming from is at the end of the day, I actually call this and have a book on this called The Missing Course. I think there needs to be more courses around this, cuz again, if this is the main ingredient, why aren't we teaching it more in schools?

I love this topic and I agree with you. So let's dive in a little bit about what inspired you to start the program and then what inspired you to write the book?

So really I was inspired initially as a dad, just again with the 3 kids and realizing again, the skills. So that's really what. Inspired me. I've also been in the business world for years. I was lucky enough to sell a business to a big publicly held company. And as part of that process, just dealing with young associates and hiring and unfortunately having to let people go again, I realized that there's a certain skill set. So I think it's both a perspective as a parent and also being in the business world, knowing the skills that are really required. There's actually statistics that say that 85% of career success is based upon their quote unquote soft skills. So if these are— if that's what employers they're looking for. We either say we can teach someone the technical stuff in the job itself, but it's these soft skills that's gonna make or break 'em. And think about that, 85% of their success is based upon these skills. So again, it's really coming from that passion that's really inspired me.

And the book, I don't know about you, but writing a book was way harder than I ever thought it would be. I actually lost a bet, and I'll tell you about that in a minute. But what inspired you to write your book?

Yeah, it really wasn't because I just knew how important it was. And as I had been out there teaching this stuff and seeing the work that we're doing in schools, I just knew we just had to get the word out there. Really what we've, we've condensed it to is we've studied people that have had thriving life and success, both career, just in life in general, cuz we know it's all about the relationships and we've reverse engineered that to 26 separate skills that we teach in Boost. Again, in these 3 buckets, the, their people skills, their character, and having a healthy mindset. So all the skills fall within in one of those 3 buckets. So it was really just a passion of getting the word out there and spreading the word.

So important. Some of the best careers and books come out of that. So your kids are now older. You've done the, the business world. You're now jumping back into this, which is, I think, amazing, right? You get now as a choice, you get to focus on it. What, what inside the book or inside the course is the most important part to you? I know it's all important, but if you had to break it down, why is that?

Yeah, I think I would take 3 topics from each of those 3 buckets. So the people skills, to me, it's always has to, it's about the other person. It's not about you. And if you can go in with that philosophy, it's about them, it's not you. Listening and asking questions, things that we know, but just really going deep on those things, not one-upping someone, being able to read nonverbals. Nonverbal communication. And they say that's 70% of communication. So why aren't we teaching that to students? Smiling, the greeting process, which is more than everyone teaches a handshake, but it's just the whole greeting process where you're just upbeat and friendly, et cetera. So I would say it's not about you, it's about them. In the character bucket, humble. That's the one I'm debating between honesty, but that has to happen. And humble, just being humble is just so crucial. And on the healthy mindset, It's really the idea that is that you have to struggle to grow. You have to go through it if you're gonna grow. And we really, once we, once the students understand that, I think that's just a crucial factor. And it is actually something that I didn't even realize till a couple years ago. I kind of went through the struggles being a business person and entrepreneur and starting off, but I didn't really understand that fact until a couple years ago. So it's really, those would be my 3 big ones.

So as my listeners know, I have 2 boys and 2 girls, and 2 of them did really well in your, they would've passed your course, passed the book, and 2 of them not so much. So I too wish I would've known you when I was trying to raise them. So parents, if you're thinking of a child, you don't have to say it out loud, which one of your kids could really use this? Let's talk about what, how do we know as a parent, how do we know if what you are, what the book is, what you're offering to the schools is needed. Let's start there. Our kids are so much in their phones. How do we even know how to talk to them about this?

Well, it's, that's a really great point. That is the challenge is how do you actually teach? And look, as parents, we do our best teaching these skills and trying to reinforce it, but life is difficult. Life is stressful. You're running around. How do you actually teach it? So clearly it starts with the parents being the role model and the modeling your behavior. They're clearly watching everything that you do, even if they don't say it. So it really starts there. And as you just said, every kid is And I think that's really important to realize that within these 26 skills, certain of your children will be good at certain things, but maybe need some help in some other things. It's very hard for someone to be great in all 26 skills. They may be a great people person, but struggle on the healthy mindset piece where they get down too easy. It's tough to fight back. They may be good at that stuff, but not have the people skills. They could have great character, but if they can't have a conversation or connect with people. So I think there's a little bit of something for everyone, and it's just a Again, it's just crucial skills that we know are important.

So how do you teach this? In concept, I'm with you. And I wish every child in high school that ever graduated had this beautiful opportunity. But my question is more contextually. It's, it's a touchy-feely subject. How do you teach this?

That's a great question, Shellee Howard. And that's really what I've been working on in the last couple of years and really trying to— and look, Matt, you're never going to perfect it, but just to, but really get that piece. And I think there's a couple crucial things. Number one, this is a mandatory course in the schools that we're going to. It's only an hour a week. I realize all the stress of the, all the other things that schools need to be worried about and achievements, and I get it. But this is, we have this down to an hour a week. We're really teaching it in high schools. So there's a lot of social-emotional learning, SEL programs in elementary school and middle school, and those are great. This isn't to replace it, but now we're in high school. And there's a couple techniques that we do. The first thing in the first session is to teach the why, is to teach— these aren't one-off lessons that we're trying to do in between things. These are— we teach the why, that if you learn these skills, that you will thrive in life, or at least have a better chance to thrive. So I think that's the key, is getting them engaged. And we usually start off with putting up on the board, what do you want out of life? And they'll— they usually start with the material things. I want the house, I want the car, I want the job. They'll say all these things to start with, but then we go deeper, that it's about the relationships and people. And how you're viewed in the community. We, once we list them all, we're saying, you can have all of it. We figured this out for you. We have the 26 skills that's gonna help you. And then towards the end, we help them break down and say, out of the 26, what are you good at and how do you lean into it? So I think it's really that process that it's a course, it's for high school, chin on the y. We also have certified Boost instructors that can teach it. So most of these SEL programs are done and it's the science teacher teaching some lessons and the history teacher, which is great. At the end of the day, You want to get everyone on board. It's a culture. It starts at the top. But I really feel like you need a certified teacher. In high school, we have specific teachers for social studies and history. And so why wouldn't we have a Boost or Boost-type instructor to teach these? If again, 85% of someone's career success is based upon it, why wouldn't we have a teacher that's specialized in this and trained in that?

So I am asking the same question. What is the pushback when you try to explain to a high school or a school, here, we need this, we You have the proof, the concept. Why is it not in every single school?

That's my goal, Shellee, is to do that. So again, I've only been back at this again within this business career the last couple of years, but that is the goal. It doesn't make sense. There's really is at the end of the day, there's no reason. Schools have a lot going on, but I feel, as you know, schools, it's getting more competitive. It used to be you went to your local public school or you went to a private school. Now between homeschooling and charter schools and various public schools, The options are endless. And I would think as a pa— I want my child to go to a school that's gonna reinforce these lessons. So that's one of the things that we stress with the schools. And again, they've been brought up thinking, I'm really going to them for the first time with dedicated certified coach. Here's what we do. We're doing it in high school. Most again of these programs are really designed for elementary and middle school. So this is the first one. And you also have to make it fun and interesting for the student. We have a lot of heavy discussion. We do role plays, we do videotaping, we show quick videos. So We do a lot of things to try and engage the student and make it fun.

It's such an important skill, right? I was just on a podcast right before you, and we were talking about financial literacy and we were talking about the cost of college and how students don't really understand that going into college debt, $300,000, $400,000, they have no concept of what that is. And I, I think the same thing applies to you. They don't know if they're socially awkward. They may know, but they don't know how to change. Right. And so what a gift that you're giving. I'd like to give that to some adults. Maybe there's—

I get that all the time. We need to teach the adults, which I agree with. I think that's, that is a key. We know the life lessons about being older. Why aren't we, why don't we package that up and give it to a 15-year-old? Why are we waiting to do all this self-improvement when we're 40 or 50 or 60, whatever age it is? There's so much of these things that I've learned even in the last couple years that's just so crucial that I wish someone taught me at 15. So I think it is, it is just absolutely crucial.

So when a child participates, I'm guessing because you're out of a high school, are they put into this class or is it an elective where they get to choose?

That's a great question. So a lot of what we've done to start off with has been an elective. And as I've gone on and you're refining things, I'm like, wait a minute, let's say this is a freshman class, so they're 9th graders and there's only a smaller percent of the population getting it. What's actually interesting, I actually was in one school where they had 10 different electives, and this was the most popular one. Everyone had to come up and give it, and then there was filming and music and really cool stuff that I would like to do, and this one was, was the most popular one. So kids, once you explain it, they do get it. And even some of these things, when we're role-playing and having conversations about not one-upping and asking questions and being empathetic, they get it. They start to understand. One interesting out of of the 26 lessons is no gossip. And I thought this would add to my 26. I knew it was important, but I thought it was on the lower rung of the totem pole, let's say, of all of them, that in terms of what they would be interested in. Had a number of students say that was one of the skills they really wanted to work on. So again, I think there's something for everyone, and I think it's once they see it. What's interesting is we really have conversations once the following week about how they used and saw it, and they, they start to see their friends or other adults that aren't, are doing these things great. In other cases, they're not. So that helps reinforce the lessons.

So if I'm listening and I'm like, yes, yes, yes, my children need this. Yes, they do. How can I get ahold of this? Do you, do you have a private lesson or do I have to petition my high school to bring this in? How do we make this happen?

So that's a good, you're asking a great question. So I would petition the high school. That is the best thing I've realized. I do have a version for parents that parents can go to that outline it. There's a book, but Rob Shellee Howard, The Missing Course, and it's the 26 Skills. You can get it on Amazon. So that would give you a great background and it gives you some teaching tools and worksheets and things that you can work with your kid. I did start off and I still do have a parent version and we've done some homeschooling groups that haven't been present. They've been all over the place. So we certainly can do it. You can give my email address and someone can get in touch with me and we can work that out. But really the passion has become the schools because again, I like a group of kids in person where we can really take this to another level and role-play and do those other things. So I would say petition your school. I'm actually coming up with an email and some information that you can send to your school and say, hey, let's do it. Because the school, there's different options where they can pull the lessons. We could certify someone on staff if they actually have someone that they think would be good at it, or think about bringing in a contracted Boost Coach to that environment.

So good. I just think of the opportunity that this would empower I could see it in college as well. That's when they're really struggling to make friends. I mean, all the way through, it's not easy being a kid. People ask me all the time, would you go back? I'm like, no way. No, those were the hardest years of my life.

We're actually talking to some colleges as well, because it should be 100%.

So your book is one way that, that somebody can, can get some support. I have some superintendents, school district managers, private school owners. All of this can be brought to them. Is your contact information inside of the book or do you have a website or what does that look like?

So it's rheller@boostprogram.com. So that's my email address. Put the contact information in the book. And really, I'd love to talk to— I love talking about this stuff. So if there was someone on the school side or parent that just wants to have a conversation to see how we can do it, again, we're looking to get the word out. So we're pretty flexible. Able about different approaches or trying different things. So again, we'd just love to have a conversation.

So I'm curious, what is the first? You said there is 26, if I'm not mistaken. What is number 1?

So it's not in any order. We start off with people skills or social skills. And really it's, it's the top, the first 3 are eye contact, which we know it. And again, really the eye contact has become because kids are looking at their phones. So smiling is just so easy that kids are spending so much time on their clothes and their appearance. Their footwear and all this stuff, just smile. It just makes a big difference. And then saying someone's name again, that's Dale Carnegie 101. What we've done is we've taken stuff that some, that goes back historic lessons from the Bible and the stoicism all the way up through Dale Carnegie and some of the thought leaders through a lot of the mindset things. And we've taken all the great lessons and, and really reverse engineered that for the students.

So here's the big elephant in the room. Has cell phones and technology made this situation worse or better?

Way worse. Way worse. They've lost the people skills because of the phones. The mindset's not the same. The distraction effect. We spend a lot of time on the phone issue and what it's doing. Again, we're thinking that, again, this is high school. So we clearly want to keep someone off the phone or off social media, whatever a parent can do to protect the child up until high school. But once they're 15 or 16, there's a good chance they're going to have a smartphone. So that's really where we're having the conversation that the algorithms are coming for you. These things are designed to distract you. They're designed not to make you feel good. What can we do to get off them? And look, at the end of the day, is someone going to put down their phone for good? We know that's not going to happen with a teenager, but at least if they can start thinking about it and being aware of it, we have something we call, because it's the BOOST program, a BOOST bag that they can put their phone in and then still charge it up and zip it up. That really works. So we got a bunch of techniques around that.

And then the next question, AI.

So that's again, asking some great questions. So with, and as we talk about career readiness and getting ready, people ready for careers, obviously AI has just created flux around that, but it's, these are the skills that someone needs more than ever. So I think in an AI world, these skills are way more important than they've ever been because this is what's gonna make or break someone and allow someone to again, get that job and keep it and utilize AI, but again, be able to communicate and have conversations and do the things that are necessary. AI has just enhanced this.

So parents, I, I'm listening. Hopefully you are hearing what I'm hearing, and that is we need to help protect our child's mind. We need to help protect their social skills. For the kids who were developing during COVID that's a reality. Some of the littles didn't They only saw a mask. They didn't even get to see our lips moving. I've seen some real delays in, in that age group. So these things are real and we have a choice. What do we do? So if you feel like this might be helpful, I know it would be for all 4 of mine. Let's go buy the book. Let's support the cause. And if you are somebody in a place that you can get this into a public or private or school district, I would definitely have a call with Rob. So Rob, thank you so much for being on the show. Is there any last words that you would like to share with the families?

No, thank you. I know it's a, it's a, it is so difficult now as a parent. So we get, I believe me, I feel what you're going through, but just keep the faith. They all turn out at different times at different ways, but just again, just be that role model. And again, Shellee, thank you so much for everything that you're doing. It's just great work and keep up the good work. But keep it up.

So parents, we'll put the contact information in the show notes. And always it's about bringing a village around your family and supporting them in areas that maybe you don't have the time, the money, or the desire. And so I just want you to know you've got this. Thank you.