The Leadership Job That Never Clocks Out

As you elevate in rank, you elevate in responsibility. As you elevate in responsibility, there's less and less balance in your life. That is a true statement today.

This show is powered by Others Over Self. Hit that subscribe button to keep training your brain.

From Others Over Self, it's Hardcore and at Ease, a show about people who are keeping their edge, Without going over the edge. I'm host Shelly Rood. The more responsibility you carry, the more the job follows you home. Your calendar shrinks, your phone doesn't stop, and somewhere in there you start telling yourself that if you were doing this right, you'd have it balanced by now. Here's what I've watched happen to the leaders that I walk alongside. Balance was never the target. It's protecting that one hour that you get. Now, by the end of this episode, You'll know how to protect that hour and what it does for the people standing inside of it with you. This is Hardcore and At Ease. Picture the family dinner where every phone goes in a basket by the door, except for the one person, maybe it's you, whose job doesn't believe in baskets. Brigadier General Dan Kramer, he has spent almost 30 years building a full-time career in the Michigan Air National Guard. From active duty in Texas to posting in Germany to the base that he leads today here in Michigan. 6 kids came along for most of it, raised alongside his wife Susan through every move. Rank rose up and responsibility rose up right alongside of it. What that demanded of him and what he decided to protect instead, that's where today's conversation lives. Before we get to the rest of Brigadier General Kramer's story, I want to take a moment just to honor 2 of my listeners. Over here in Southeast Michigan, I got to eat at a famous restaurant, Bob Evans, known for their breakfast dishes. I don't get to go there very often, but I was very excited to have a breakfast lunch because we have a Bob Evans right outside the base. Sitting down at this lunch, it felt like I was sitting down with 2 old friends, except we'd only just met. Senior Master Sergeant Jamie Blaharski and Captain Kelly Zenskus, they lead the Return with Honor program here at Selfridge. This is the work of bringing service members home in a way that holds them once they land here. 2 women saw where reintegration was failing the service members, and they're building a fix instead of waiting for someone else. So today's episode is for you, Jamie and Kelli. That lunch reminds me that we're not alone in our quest to be hardcore and at ease. Let's get into the rest of today's guest. Brigadier General Dan Kramer leads the state of Michigan today. He leads the 3,000 acres at Selfridge that just secured a second flying mission that we were supposed to lose. He's a one-star with 30 years of discipline behind him, and even that discipline hasn't solved the trade between responsibility and time. Here's my conversation with Brigadier General Dan Kramer, the Assistant Adjutant General for the Michigan Air National Guard.

I was born and raised in Michigan. Born and raised in Southeast Michigan, actually a little town called Goodrich on the border of Oakland and Genesee County. Father worked over in Warren, actually at the LTRW. So that was, I grew up in Michigan, went to school in Michigan, then I had to go out to active duty when I commissioned out of ROTC at Michigan Tech. And after my active duty stint, I came back to Michigan to be in the Michigan Air Guard. And my first base back in Michigan was Southridge.

So forgive me, how long were you active duty for? And then about how old were you when you decided to come back to Michigan?

Oh, okay. Yeah, well, that— so you'll have to— Shelly, you get me started and I can talk for a while, so you'll have to tell me when to truncate my stories. But, uh, it's an interesting story. So I commissioned in '95 and I went to Texas. I was married in my last year of college, so my wife and I Went to Texas with one kid in tow and another on the way, and then three years, and that got me to 98. And I made a deal with my spouse Susan. I said, "Hey, if I I get out of active duty now and go into the Guard, you know, would you support that?" Because she wanted to get back to Michigan. She's from Upper Michigan, and she said, "Sounds good." So I I wanted to get into flying, so I left active duty as an acquisitions officer. And I called the Selfridge wing commander and said, hey, would you take me to be a pilot? And he said, I'll tell you what, I'll set you up with the 130 unit. They really need navigators. So come to Selfridge to be a navigator on OC-130. And this was in '98. And we'll look at pilot training later if that's something you want to do. That was my entrance into the Michigan Air Guard back in '98. But the My wife kind of got the bad end of the deal because I said, I'm getting out of active duty early. But for anybody that knows what flight school and flight training is all about, I was on active duty another 2 years just to get through the flight program.

Really?

But it all worked out. I came back to Selfridge then, probably right around the 2000 timeframe after all my training. And I stayed and I've been in Michigan as a Michigan Guardsman for Since 2000. So that's, you know, where we at, 26 years now. But if you count the 2 years I was away at training, I was still a Michigan Guardsman.

You know, in all my travels, sir, with the military, people always say, where are you from? And I would say Michigan, Detroit area. And they would say, I'm sorry. And I would say, what are you sorry for? I love Michigan.

I know. Isn't it fun? And Shelly, that's so true. I I still get that now and then, but I've been all over the world. Even when I was a Michigan Guardsman, I lived in Germany for a year and a half and traveled all over Europe because of an assignment. And with our travels, we've been— we've seen a lot of really cool places. I wouldn't trade the United States, one, but Michigan, I wouldn't leave. I wouldn't move from Michigan. When I retire, I'm going to stay in Michigan.

Well, I love the 4 seasons. What is it that you love about the state?

Oh, that one, that you have the, you have the 4 seasons. I love the 4 seasons. I love the Great Lakes. I absolutely love the fact we've got, you know, an ocean, a freshwater ocean on both the east, west, and north of us, you know, so, and I can't, I don't think you can explain that to people. They have to come experience it that no, really, You can't see the other side of that lake and the waves are just as big. And you know what? When I swallow water, I'm not spitting it up. You know?

Yeah, we don't have sharks. We have snapping turtles.

That's right.

We don't have sharks.

No tornadoes, no hurricanes. So you don't, you don't have that. And then the snow. I mean, that's a— if you haven't experienced it, it's a pretty neat thing to experience.

What do you love about the snow, sir?

Oh, I, you know, It just, it cleans the landscape. So when you, you know, we've got a place up north where I went to school, Michigan Tech, and I, I would love to spend more time in the winter up there, but it's just, it's not feasible while I'm working. But when you look outside and you see it blankets everything, there's nothing that protrudes other than trees. It's so clean and it's just bright. And so, you know, it takes that winter season too, where you can, it's easy to get down when it's gray. And you've got snow that's light and you've got the sunshine. It's just awesome. Awesome. And then I do enjoy snowshoeing and some of those things too.

Well, that's what I was going to ask. What about your winter sports? We've got snowboarding, we've got skiing, slalom skiing. You can even do chair skiing now. Have you done any of that?

No, I've— no. In fact, I— what's funny is I didn't start skiing until I was in my 40s. Snow skiing, you know, I But I— and I've done it up north in the Porcupine Mountains, and I've done it over in Europe in the Alps. And that's really it. My snow sports are really getting out on snowshoes and walking around in the woods. That's what I like to do.

And Michigan definitely can provide that for you.

Absolutely.

So you came back as a Guardsman, you got into Selfridge Air National Guard Base, and you just kept climbing the ranks, sir?

Yeah, you know, and I didn't, you know, rank is one thing. I guess it's more the experiences I was able to, to go through in Michigan are on the professional side, or you can't get them in another Guard state. Well, I might be prejudiced there, but we, we have more than just Selfridge. And that's why I could stay a whole career here in Michigan in the Air Guard. And not get bored. Because at Selfridge, you know, we've got 2 flying missions, the A-10s and the tankers today, the KC-135s. And we've always had 2 flying missions. So I got to do the flying, but then on the other side of the state, we have the MQ-9 and Air Operations Group wing at Battle Creek. I was able to go over there and do air operations, which is a great— exposure to staff-level decision-making for our warfighters. So I left and did Selfridge in 2005 to go— 2007, '08 timeframe, after the 2005 BRAC, to go do something different. And it exposed me to the higher level of decision-making that you need in our aviators and our warriors today. So I love that about Michigan and the National Guard is you can go from flying to command and control to intelligence. And then from a support standpoint, I got a chance to do that too, going back to Selfridge. And you know, Shelly, that Selfridge Air National Guard Base is huge, 3,000 acres, and all the support it takes to keep that base functioning, I got a chance to experience that. And the women and men who fill those ranks in the support group, they're nothing less than remarkable. What they do every day and how they train to keep an air base functioning for— in today's modern warfare is nothing less than remarkable. That's, you don't get that experience at a normal Air National Guard base. Most of them are, no, you don't. You're usually at a small little regional airport. And I think our, the Selfridge Mission Support Group is the largest or second largest in the country.

Yeah, I've heard that Selfridge is the largest National Guard facility in the country.

It is. Yes.

And we have all the branches represented here on the base as well, which is very unique.

We used to. Now the Space Force is a new thing, so we don't have the Space Force.

I guess I should lump them in, huh? If I could do it again, sir, I would be Space Force in a heartbeat.

No, a lot of people would, right? That if you like technology and space, aerospace, it's a great service.

So do you geek out over tech the way that I geek out over tech? Because I feel like somebody in your position should probably be like all in when it comes to the latest technology.

I would like to say that I I'm knowledgeable, but when it comes to the beeps and squeaks and the trons, I'm not staying with it anymore. And it's more because of the time. As a general officer, you're really general. You don't get the opportunity to dive into the technical part as much as maybe when I was a captain I could.

Well, that's the best part about having a team. I mean, you've got Major Kay over there, and he did an amazing job getting us connected today.

Yes, he did. Yep. It's— and that's the, that's the truth, right? You surround yourself with great people and that they fill your void. You know, wherever you're not sharp, you can't pretend like you are. You have to fill that void with, with people that are competent and capable.

Now, with all your background, sir, if I say the word hardcore to you, What is it about you as, you know, it can be as a soldier, as an airman, you know, just as a military service member, but what about as a man? What are you so hardcore about? What are you just dedicated towards or intense about in your life? Because anybody who sees you or meets you, when you walk into a room, you have an incredible command presence and it's felt and it's seen. Where does that come from?

Oh man. So for me, You know, it's a belief in something that I'm doing, something that's meaningful, noble. It's got purpose. And when you have a purpose-built mission or life, it's easy to get— it's easy to be excited about it. You know, I don't know if you've heard of the old vision, passion, purpose speech or the mantras that are out there. I saw that when I was younger in my career, and it might have been in my civilian career at the time, but you've got to have vision, right? That's the blueprint to where you want to go and what you want to do. And then you have to have purpose, and your purpose you've got to be passionate about. So they all work together to make you that individual that has meaning in your life. You have to believe it, right? And that, and you know, I appreciate the compliment. You know, in terms of, you know, I'm, I'm, I guess I'm a little outgoing and people can see that, or, but it all boils down to I feel blessed to have the opportunity to do what I do, and it's a purpose-built occupation, you know, and it's, and there's sacrifice in it. And I know that and I embrace it. And I'm fortunate enough to have family that, that understands that because they don't— they have at times to, to suffer for my decisions to continue that, that purpose-built career.

We'll be right back after an important message from our sponsor.

Are you a woman who has kept everyone else standing while your own foundation cracked? Perhaps in your life as a veteran, you know what it's like to be the one in the room who carries the weight that nobody else sees. You're built for that, and you deserve a community where you embrace who you are when you're not performing for others. Mission Wildflower is a newsletter built by and for women with military experience. Twice a week, bring a little joy and understanding into your life. Take part in Real conversations about the situations you're navigating, the choices that don't have good answers, the permission to build a life that's truly yours and not just what the terrain around you demands. We publish twice a week. Go to shellyrood.substack.com and subscribe. Mission Wildflower is powered by Others Over Self.

You're listening to Hardcore and at Ease with Certified business and life coach Shelly Rood. Now back to the show. I didn't realize the amount of sacrifice the family members or those around you adopt when they espouse themselves to you. Because it's, it's easy to be as, especially younger in my career, it's easy to be like, hey, it's It's just the job. Everyone has a job, and we you know mine just happens to be serving our country, and I'm I'm proud of that. And you often I often forgot that hey there's there's someone else here. I never forgot that there was someone else here in my family, my my spouse and my my children that they're not just along for the ride, but they're essential to supporting. Me in my role. And as a younger officer, and I think that this is probably true for most, when you're junior in your career, the responsibility level is much lower than it is, say, today when I'm at, you know, at the top of an organization. But you still have requirements and commitments that your family has to deal with. And for me, the toughest was, and I saw it early, was The moving down to, you know, taking my wife and kids down to from northern Michigan to Texas and away from family without the means, financial means to just run back home whenever you wanted. My wife endured that, and my kids were young at the time. They they didn't know any better. But it if you ask my wife, I think she'd say in the time it was difficult because you know we had to acclimate to totally different surroundings and. And raise children without your family around, but it did help us grow. So I mean, on a on a side note, what I think we took from that opportunity is we as a family unit we bonded. We didn't have anywhere else to go. We had ourselves, right? And and my I know my children, and I think I might have mentioned you know I've got six children. They all they're really close today. Because of some of those early experiences in life where we just had to rely on each other. But it didn't make it easy, right? And that's as I elevated in responsibility and every time I took a new job, it was a decision that Susan and I made together with family input, whether it was going to Europe for a year and a half or going to war college for a year or Uprooting children and taking them out of school, away from their family and friends. That was difficult for all of us. And I think we all learned— what I could say is I know my family learned about sacrifice, and they weren't the ones that get the credit for being in the role. But yet they had the same sacrifices, if not worse. You made the comment, I can go into a room and I can make friends pretty easily. I find I'm pretty outgoing, but that's not easy for teenage children, boys and girls. And I did it to all of them, moved them away from home. And, you know, here you are, here's a new school. Get acclimated.

You did. And you set them up for gaining those skills in life. And so you know that they're better adults because of having to overcome that adversity.

Absolutely. And I think they're proud of it today. They won't say it, but I'm proud of them for it because they've, they've all turned out to be great young adults. And so, yeah.

Do they tell their friends who their dad is? Or do they just, you know, kind of, you're just dad to them?

I'm just dad to them. At least I hope that. I'm sure that they're proud of what I do. But, you know, they've got their lives, they're married, and they're having children. And You know, I have another, another part of my life as grandpa, you know, so. Oh my gosh. That's, yeah. And it's wonderful. You know, it's wonderful.

You know, I have this joke I'll tell you real quick. So I was watching the movie, it was the 4th of July Independence Day with Will Smith and it's great. So he's the pilot with these aliens and my son, I think he was 10 years old at the time. He was like, wow, he's so cool. He says that sitting next to me so that this man is in intelligence. Right? That's his job. He's a captain in intelligence. And, and my son goes, he's so cool. And I looked at him and I go, Jackson, you realize that's what I was, right? And my son looks at me and he goes, yeah, Mom, but he's a Marine. Yeah. I've never been able to come back ever. You're never cool enough for your kids.

No, never. Now that, you know what though? I, I feel like as we age, you know, mature, That they have a better understanding as they age on what service is all about, you know, and that they get the big picture. And that's because they lived it. My wife tells me all the time, and she said, now I get it. And it's like, well, every time we think we get it, there's something else that comes. And— But there's also—

because you're not retired, you have this monster of a career still ahead of you, sir. And so it kind of makes me wonder about the opportunity of being at ease, right? And having one foot firmly planted in the mission, but also being able to smile and relax and have that good command and control posture. So what is it that you do in your life that helps you be at ease?

First, I have to tell you that it's not easy, right? When you— and I'm not saying for me, As a senior leader in any organization, you have a responsibility to the organization, right? And it takes time to do that. And I tell my subordinate commanders and senior leaders, as you elevate in rank, you elevate in responsibility. As you elevate in responsibility, there's less and less balance in your life. And I still, that is a true statement. Today, yeah. And so I, I'm always looking at my subordinates clear-eyed and telling them, like, as you progress, you're going to have to make decisions that are not going to be easy for your family, and you need to be prepared. And how do I? How do you deal with that? Because you have to be here. You have to be present to lead an organization. Presence is everything. It's not nine to five anymore. You know, it never was, but it's, you know, it becomes, you know, getting up at 5:30, going home at 7, and then make the best use of that time before— between those hours, right?

Yeah, it's not just physically present. You have to be mentally present.

Mentally. And that's what my, you know, my experience has been. When I leave here, I'm on the phone. I don't— I'm not done until I get in the door. And even then, at this level, you can't just turn it off. You know, it just— and I have to— you have to be good with it. And that's probably the big thing I remind myself is I made the choice to accept this position. I'm good with this, right? Every whatever position it is that I've taken in my life. And coping is important. Resiliency is important. So how— what you do in your time is when you're not on the clock is very important. And what I find exercise for me, and I think I mentioned it earlier, I love to walk. Like, I'll— if I, I can walk on the— being on the phone, I love being outdoors. You know, that's my, uh, that's probably my passion outside of work is being outdoors, whether it's— and I'm really hiking and walking and running are my— what Prefer to do. And then family.

You have that in common with the greats. Roosevelt, that's the entire purpose behind the National Park System, is because he lost his family, his wife and his daughter, to a horrible tragedy. And walking in the woods was the one thing that brought him through. And that's how the National Park System started. And so just knowing that it was true for Roosevelt, it's true for General Cramer, it can be true for all of us. Right.

There's something about it too. It grounds you. There's a grounding that you have. And then, and then making sure that you have time with— for the family is good quality time. And it might not be long. But when it's— when you have it, as you spend the time with them and give them 110% when you're with them. And that's easy for me to do. Because I just love my family.

So you're not on your phone at the dinner table?

I try not to be. Now, Susan will tell you I've had to get up and walk away from a phone call with a phone call, but I I try to make sure I'm present in in when I'm with them.

So what is your advice to our families that are here in Michigan that have a service member and they're living out this lifestyle, whether it's guard or active duty, and they're just really feeling the pressure, right? You don't know when orders are coming. You don't know when time away is coming. Things nationally and internationally are heating. What do you say to these families, you know, looking back after decades of having lived the career that you've had?

Yeah, I— the first thing I say is thank you. And I can't say it enough because I, I do understand that they are the unsung heroes behind any servicewoman or man, as the family is the unsung hero, because we count on them. And in ways that are, it could be as simple as don't get frustrated that we don't have orders yet. And a member understanding that and a family supporting and saying, I understand. I got it. I understand. Not like it, but I understand. I want to tell those families that I understand. I appreciate them more. And they, they have to know that with, with When I say things or when our leaders say things, it shouldn't be just tongue-in-cheek. I've been there with with my kids crying as I'm getting on a plane to go overseas, crying around my wife while she's pregnant. You know, with their fourth, fifth, whatever it was at the time. And I remember, oh my goodness! You know, I she's supporting me in all of this and. You know, I just thank them so much because what we do is necessary as a family unit. We have to have good women and men who are willing to go into harm's way to further defend our country and our way of life. And it's not easy to understand sometimes, like, why do we have to go? And I guess it's just understanding. I want to be that empathetic listener and understand you.

I—

and for those families to understand, I know it won't be easy, and I'll never tell anybody it's easy. I'll never tell someone to get over it. It's suck it up, buttercup. Here we go. I'll start with thank you. This is difficult, and you've served your country well.

Now, sir, what about the single soldiers? Because there's a whole world of depression and loneliness and anxiety that comes with not being attached to a spouse or having children, right? Or not having anybody that's keeping the light on at home for you. What's your advice to our single service members that are starting to feel the weight of isolation?

Yeah, that's a good question. A very good question, because I, I can't say I understand that when I'm, I'm blessed to have You know, more family than probably most would, could imagine. My, my recommendation would be find the family that you're with, because you're all family when you're deploying. Find that, that comfort in your fellow airman, soldier, Marine, sailor, guardian. Find that comfort. Find that those people that are your family and, you know, grow with them in deployment. Mental health is so important for the soldier, airman, sailor, Marine, and guardian. It's so important. So we owe it to ourselves if we're, you know, single and we don't have that family unit at home, which I would argue a lot do in their mother, father, sisters, But they— it's not that the same as maybe a spouse or a significant other that, that's got the lights, you know, like you said, the lights, uh, keeping the lights on at home. You've got to find that— where that— where's your connection? You've got to find a connection. And it doesn't matter if it's the— your suite mate or maybe a squadron mate or a unit mate. You've got to find that connection and make sure you're talking and communicating. All the time, because I think that's healthy when you can express your feelings, whether it's loneliness, solitude, or whatnot. It's healthy to be able to say it to somebody and to be acknowledged. So find those people that are going to be your partners, because no one should have to suffer alone either if there's— if depression or anxiety starts setting in.

And what I've noticed is if one person is feeling certain things, more people are feeling those certain things. And when you can get it out and have that shared experience of conversation, it does alleviate that pressure.

Oh, for certain, right? And we've all— I don't think there's anybody that I know of that hasn't gone through a difficult time where they needed to express themselves, whether it's in the military and you're in a stressful environment and you've been going on no sleep for days on end, or just outside the military. I look at young people today and And some of, you know, I don't think we connect as much today because of the phones and the social media. We connect, but not in the same way we did when I was a kid. And I hate doing that to people saying, well, when I was a kid, you know, we didn't have phones, so we played outside. And, but there is an element of that social aspect that we, we, we had back then. And I think the service offers that. And that's where I guess going back to the initial question is, Find those, your teammates, and be vulnerable with them. Let them know if something's not going well because I know people care.

Well, that conversation and open communication, sir, from you, I've heard that importance of that at the highest level. Yes, we're talking about it socially here, but when you get into Mission Next, when you get into the purpose and the vision of what we're trying to do as a nation and as a state, Man, I mean, you're always going to have those negative thoughts and those naysayers right around the corner, but I'm looking at Selfridge Mission Next and we've got Michigan's Next Chapter coming right on the cusp. Is there anything that you want to share with us about that?

Oh man, I get excited talking about it. So it's, yeah, I could, you know, that Mission Next to me is a lesson. There's so many lessons for leaders. In any field, right? One is persistence, right? Always when you see something, you know, if you got a vision and you know what that vision is— and I'm, I'm talking about General Rogers specifically now as, as my leader, you know, I got into the seat and I, I've known about Selfridge being on the chopping block when it comes to losing a fighter mission throughout my career here because the A-10's been, you know, dying, if you will, for the last, you know, decade and a half, 2 decades, probably more of a decade and a half. But the— so the writing was on the wall, we were going to lose the A-10. The Air Force was pushing us off like, hey, you're going to go down to a normal— I'm giving you the background and your people probably already know the background, so I'll speed it up and just say that We were on the deathbed of losing that mission. And it was down to the last probably 18 months. And we did not give up. And General Rott, under his leadership, we stayed synced up and aligned on the messaging. And it came, and we came through it. It's a long story, a wonderful story on how we were able to land the mission. If you will. But it was all about that persistency and being resilient when you're told no over and over and over again and not, and not giving up. So how many, how many states would have just said, hey, you know what, it's just not going to work for us, we'll take 12 tankers and be happy? Probably a lot of, you know, I don't want to speak for any. They'll all say they wouldn't now. But seeing our results, but it would have been just as easy to do that. And we didn't. We continued to advocate for the future mission, to write to anybody who would listen to us, to put position papers in front of the right people. And ultimately, it took courageous leaders to defy all political ramifications to make contact with people who can make the right call to help us. And, and that's essentially what happened. And yeah, it's just a remarkable story. Probably could do a day's podcast on everything. You know, it's just remarkable.

And it's bipartisan too, like you said, putting aside politics and really going after the heart and the purpose of the mission because Macomb County deserves it.

Yeah.

The state of Michigan deserves it. And the good people here, we want something to stay here.

Exactly. You can, there's a lot of different threads you can pull, but it all made, they all go back to it made sense. The largest Air National Guard federally owned airbase with, with only one flying mission just didn't make sense. You need to add more to Selfridge and get the true efficiencies that that installation can provide. And it'll benefit everybody, the national, you know, our national defense, our homeland defense, our state, our economic environment in Southeast Michigan, you know, with the jobs that it could bring, the innovation that these kind of technologies bring into the state. It's just, it's going to be great.

And how special to have you as a leader championing this cause forward. So, sir, I want to be respectful of your time as we wrap up here. Is there anything else that you want to send into the ear of our listener?

Ah, I'm just one of many people that have been part of this. I guess my— I'll leave with this. Thank you to everybody involved with supporting the Selfridge Next or the Mission Next at Selfridge. It took civilian elected leaders, it took the citizens To be part of the base community council, it took like I already said our elected leaders, but both at the local and federal level. You know, I think thanks to all of those people putting in the hard work, and especially to my boss and the governor, you know, General Rogers and and Governor Whitmer, they put you know they didn't stop. They kept going, and and it's a testament to. You know, if you have vision and you're passionate about it, and you know there's a purpose, a righteous purpose, that things are going to work out. I just believe that. And, uh, and if people take that stance on, on anything they do in life, you know, that vision, passion, purpose to me is a— it's a great moniker. It's something to do a little research on and And internally, I tell my kids this, like, look, evaluate yourself in those 3 areas. What's your vision? What's your purpose? And what are you passionate about? If you— and I'm going back to that because it's so important— you'll have a much healthier life if you continue to relook at that and say, yeah, you know what, this is what I like to do and this is where I want to go. And there's a purpose involved. I mean, all 3 of those legs They work. It works.

And it is something that you have to keep revisiting. You know, once you tie a bow on your military career and then you find yourself as a civilian in some capacity and tie a bow on fatherhood, right? The kids are out the door. I mean, you never really stop being a father, but you have to keep asking yourself that question time and time again. Well, thank you for bringing it to the front of my mind, sir. I definitely am going to be mulling on that over a while.

Well, thanks again for the time, Shelly. Anytime, you know, I get a chance to meet with good people and talk about a great success story, I'm all in.

It's my honor today, sir. Thank you so much.

Thank you. Have a great weekend.

And that was my conversation with Brigadier General Dan Kramer. He's the Assistant Adjutant General for the Michigan Air National Guard. He's a 1-star with 30 years in, and the job still follows him home every night the same way it follows you and me home. If a Brigadier General hasn't solved this, why would you expect yourself to? You see, balance was never going to be the finish line. The job doesn't stop long enough for that. What matters is how present you are inside the hours that you do get. It's not about how many of these quality hours we can claim. And I say this specifically to my people that are working in public service. Our hours don't belong to us; they belong to our community. And so when we get a precious hour to spend with our loved ones, we really have to make sure that our hearts and our minds are present. So this week, here's your homework: take one commitment that's already on your calendar, something that you'd normally give half of your attention, and I want you instead To give it a mission brief's worth of focus. What do I mean by that? Put away the phone. Give that moment everything that you have. That's what this conversation was for today. We didn't give you a formula for balance, but we did give you permission to stop chasing balance and start protecting what you already have. Portions of this conversation are also featured in A and D Intel, the newsletter Macomb County's. Chamber of Commerce puts out for the aerospace and defense community right here in Southeast Michigan. The subscribe link is in the show notes for this episode. I do encourage you to go ahead and subscribe even if you have nothing to do with Southeast Michigan, because if you're in aerospace and defense, that is the premium newsletter for the industry with over 6,000 subscribers nationwide. That's all for today. I'm host Shelly Rood, and as we wrap up here, I want to remind you that Life doesn't move in a straight line. It's a series of challenges, one after another, and each one leaves something in you, whether you asked for it or not. It's not a flaw in the design. That is the gift, even on the days where it doesn't feel like one. What you've carried, it doesn't get the final say over what you cultivate next. So today, my friend, I'm reminding you that you have lived enough to know your life better than anyone standing on the outside of it. And you don't need anyone else's approval to act on what you already know. That is lived authority, and it's already yours. I'm grateful that you chose to spend this time with me today. You made it to the end of the episode.

Yay!

Good for you. Next Tuesday, it brings an unwinnable situation for us to navigate together. So until then, stay hardcore, be at ease, and trust the process. Thank you.

You're listening to Hardcore and at Ease. Keep the conversation going at join.othersoverself.com.