Sales Expert: How to Win Over Anyone, Build Confidence, & Become Rich! (ft. Shelby Sapp)

I was making $300 grand in a summer. You have to be a literal psychopath and step into an alternate version of yourself.

What are your biggest confidence tips?

I did not know how to talk to people. I had anxiety. I would stutter over my words. People think that you have to be extroverted, confident, articulate, but sales gave me all of those skills.

Let's say I'm just someone who wants to be better at negotiating. I want to win an argument with my boyfriend. What do you think are tips that are really applicable to that?

Whenever somebody says something that you don't like— Hey, I'm Shelby Sapp and Welcome to The Burnouts.

Tell me a story about one of the favorite clients you've had that you've trained up without naming names.

I'll drop their name. Sabrina, my girl. Okay, Sabrina was a bartender making $4,000 a month, and she has the best energy. Like, she loves talking to people. Obviously, anybody that's a bartender, barista, or a server kills it in sales because that is sales. You're working for tips, you're making a table happy, you know. And so she basically, she tried everything, e-commerce, dropshipping, starting a marketing agency. Nothing really stuck. And then she did remote closing, obviously through my program. She made $62,000 last month in February, and she had no sales experience.

This is something I always struggle with when we're hiring for sales is do you think people are just born with it? Like, do you think you have to be social and charismatic to get sales, or do you think anyone can learn it?

Dude, not at all. All. I was so scared to start sales. Like, the word sales made me feel like, uh, I am gonna sell someone to something— someone else, and they're gonna tell me no. Like, it was just so daunting. I did not know how to talk to people. I had anxiety. I would stutter over my words. But sales gave me all of those skills that I think people think are prerequisite People think that you have to be extroverted, loud, confident, articulate, have conviction in your voice, have good tone, body language, present yourself well, when in reality sales gives you that. Like, the more that you do it, the more reps you get in, the more confident you feel. And you learn your own selling style too. Like, you learn, um, when you say something and it lands, you're like, I'm gonna do more of that.

Tell us about the first summer that you started doing sales. How did it go and how much did you make?

Oh my gosh. So I was 18 years old when I signed up to do sales and it was actually door-to-door sales. So I was knocking on doors selling pest control halfway across the country cuz I was from Arizona and I was just like a broke college student wanting to obviously make some money and learn the skillset. And the night before I was supposed to start, I almost quit. As soon as it came to like the night before, I was like, oh my gosh, at 8:00 AM. Somebody's gonna open up the door and I'm gonna have to roll objections on their porch. Like, I also hate bugs. Like, what am I doing selling pest control? Like, and I was the only girl. I just felt so uncomfortable. So I actually quit the night before. I called my manager and I'm like, hey, the timing's just not right. I gave him some like BS excuse and I was like, I'll just come back next summer, like no issue. And he saw straight through this like basically BS excuse. And he was like, you're just scared. Just show up tomorrow. And like, at the end of the day, if you still want to quit, then at least you can say you tried it. But like, you just need to go out there. And so I was like, okay, and I hung up the phone. And fast forward, that first summer I was the only girl, so they didn't even have uniforms for me because they didn't think I would do well, and they didn't have girl uniforms. So I had to make my own uniforms. I did everything myself, pretty much rewriting the script how I should say it. And I was the number one sales rep for my first summer out of the whole country for the first year sales reps. So that at that point, they were always hiring these girls kind of like one-off in these offices, and none of them ever stuck until they were like, oh my gosh, this girl can sell. I'm like, yeah, girls can sell, but if they're given the confidence to do so. Like, you can't hire girls and not even give them a uniform. Like, that just doesn't give you the self-confidence. And that's really all sales is, is the ability to beat feel like you can close a deal, you know. So I made $70,000 at 18 years old in a summer. Wow. So in 2 and a half months. And this was what, my freshman to sophomore year of college?

Yeah. Were you good at it in the beginning?

So my first day, I'm basically working for free, like knocking on doors, nobody's buying from me. And I called my mom, I'm like, Mom, I shouldn't have done this. Sales is a scam. Like, what am I doing here? And she was like, just keep going, just end the day, blah blah blah. I get put in a group chat from my manager, and he's like— there were 3 people in the group chat, okay? The 3 people that didn't have a deal out of like 70. So that's very humbling, you know? You don't want to be in that group chat. He puts us in a group chat, and he's like, hey, the first one of you guys to get a deal, I'll pay for your dinner tonight. And I was like— the ego kind of kicked in because I was like, It's not gonna be me that doesn't get it. Like, I have to get it. So I told myself, I'm like, okay, the next door that I knock on, it will be a sale. Like, it has to be. Literally, Sophia, the next door I knock on was a sale.

And, but how, how did you make it happen?

So I knock on this girl's door. Her name is Tiffany Villesquez. I will remember it till the day I die. She was so cool. This stay-at-home mom had a wine cellar, invited me in for a glass of wine, like, um, which I obviously didn't take because I was 18 years old. You gotta close the deal. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, um, I knock on the door, I pitch her, and she's like, oh my gosh, that's so funny, I was just looking at calling someone for pest control. Like, sure, I'll do it. And I had no idea what I was doing, so I told her, I'm like, okay, really quick, like, before I actually set it up, I just need to call my manager super quick to make sure that I can go this low because I gave you such a good deal. So she's like, okay, call with him, confirm, whatever. So I call my manager and I'm like, okay, I'm getting a deal. I have no idea how to sign this girl up, how to do the paperwork or anything. So I'm like, I need you to walk me through it. And so he walks me through it. I sign her up. She's so freaking cool. She walks me over to next door. It's her best friend. Because she's like, my best friend would want this too. I signed her best friend up. So the first 2 deals I ever got were luck. Okay. Okay. But the 3 doors after were all deals and they weren't connected. They were just— when I tell my girls, I say sales is energy because I got 5 deals in a row purely because I now had the confidence of knowing, hey, this could work. It's really not that difficult. And the energy that I was bringing into the conversation was these people just bought. Like, why wouldn't you buy? Like, why wouldn't somebody need pest control? You know, I guarantee there were so many deals that I missed out on from 8 AM to 5 PM, purely because I was one foot in, one foot out. But as soon as I got that first taste of a deal and kind of the proof that it was real, then I approached every single door after that thinking to myself, this person's going to be a deal. So from 5:00 PM till I think 7:00 PM, I broke the company record that a new sales rep could have on their very first day. Wow. Like my leaderboard went from zero deals to five in like 2 hours. And everybody's texting me like, hey, I think there's a glitch or something. Or like, I think you're signing people up wrong or something. I'm like, no, there's not. I actually closed 5 people and I just rode that momentum every single day because I, in my brain, I labeled myself. As the best. Because from that first day, they were like, what are you doing? What are you saying? Like, that was crazy. I'm like, I don't know, I'm not telling you though. I just rode that confidence. And I think that's really what you need to do, is you need to put yourself in a position to where the luck can find you.

What are your biggest confidence tips when you go into a pitch?

When I go into a pitch, I have kind of like an incantation or a mantra that I say, and mine is, I'm her. And so you can have your own too. Like, um, I always teach my girls whenever they get on a sales call, they should future pace their own mind. So what that means is I tell them, I'm like, you say these words in your own head before you hop on a call. I'm gonna talk to this client. I'm gonna ask them questions about where they're at versus where they wanna be. I'm gonna show them the cost of inaction. If they don't do this, they're gonna realize, oh my gosh, I really do need this. You're gonna show them the offer. You're gonna answer questions, roll objections if they have any, and you're gonna roll them beautifully. You're gonna close the client and you are going to have them text you in in a couple months saying, hey Shelby, thank you so much for signing me up, that changed my life. And so when you go in with that kind of like expectation of you future pace your own mind, subconsciously you start approaching the deal in that logical sense, and then you're just kind of going through the motions in order to make that expectation a reality.

And then walk us through what does a sales process look like? And I wanna go back to when you were first doing this in the summer. So you said they gave you a script, but you redid it.

Oh yeah.

Why?

It didn't work. So the script was— it was so crazy. Like, this is why I don't do door-to-door sales anymore. It's so guy-coded. Like, these guys will dress up as pest control technicians, and the pitch is, hey guys, like, my truck is the street over. I was just spraying some homes. I have downtime. If we can fit you in, it's a discount. And so I'm like, okay, none of that is gonna work at all.

So I kind of like, you're in no uniform.

Yeah. I'm like, I'm in Lululemon right now. Like my truck is not down the block. Yeah. I kind of like reworked the script to be more of a route manager, the one that is in charge of all the technicians. So I would approach the deal a little differently. I would be like, oh, my technicians are in the area. 'Cause that's kind of how pest control works and we don't have to get too much into pest control. But, um, so like if we can somehow fit you in, we'll do it for a little bit of a discount rather than if you were to just call later. So I just tweaked little things and approached it with a little bit more of a feminine style. I think that's the best, because when they were first teaching me the script, you guys, it was very sales bro. It was like, hey boss man, like, let me cut you a deal type phrases. And I was like, dude, that would never work for me. I was like an 18-year-old sorority girl from Arizona, you know? And so So that's what you need to do is you need to play the character of who somebody would buy from depending on what you're selling.

Can you talk about specific sales tactics that you've coined to make you rich?

Like the pregnancy pause?

Yes. Okay. So the pregnant pause is what, what I say is whenever you drop a price, you have to shut the fuck up every time. The biggest mistake new sales reps make is whenever they show price, that's what I mean is whenever you're presenting something and then you show the initial price, sales reps will start just word salad. And talking and being like, yeah, so it's 6K, but the coolest thing is, is you're gonna get the warranty and you're gonna get this and you're gonna get that. And the words that you're saying just convey that you don't believe the value in whatever you're selling. So the number one rule, and what I mean by the pregnant pause, is as soon as you say price, you shut up. What does that have to do with pregnancy? Because when you're pregnant, it takes you 9 months to deliver a baby. I just kind of like, I have these weird sayings that these girls love. Um, but it takes you so long to deliver a baby, but you know the baby's coming, you're just waiting for it.

And then you said that you added these feminine kind of embellishments to the script.

Yes.

What were some of those?

So it's more of the approach to the deal. So I, I like to think of it as the customer's the head, uh, the closer's the neck. So your job isn't to tell them what to do. Nobody will ever agree with you telling them what to do because they know you're just after a commission. At the end of the day. But your job is to be the helper. So you're just more steering them in the right direction, showing them the whole game plan, showing them not even just emotionally but on a logical scale. Like, if you do this, this is the data of where you should be at a certain timeline. This is the game plan on if we move forward. And also, if we don't move forward, your plan B— doing it yourself, going to a competitor, whatever— this is also the game plan for that. It's up to you though. And you seed a little bit of doubt in their game plan of whatever their plan B is, you know, doing it themselves, going to a competitor. That way there's more hesitancy and a higher level of risk attached to their plan B, to where it makes it so easy for them to be like, okay, yeah, let's just execute on this rather than going through all of the headache of this. Because a lot of the times people won't say no to you because they don't want it. They'll say no to you because they just don't get it. Like, they're just not clear. I use the, um, analogy when I'm talking to my girls. I'm like, listen, if a guy— two guys text you, right, for a date, you're single, you're going on a date, okay? Two guys text you. First guy is like, hey, like, I'll take you out, like, where do you want to go? Like, what do you want to wear? What do you want to do after? Would you reply to that text? Probably not. Why? Because your brain has to do the work. The human brain loves to follow the path of least resistance. So when you kind of look at the text, there's a lot of like stuff going on. You're like, I don't have time for this, like, yeah, I'll just ghost you. Versus the second guy, he texts you, he's like, hey, I'm gonna take you here, wear this, bring these shoes for after, we're doing a little activity, and I'll drop you back off at this time. Like, he sets a game plan, and you look at that and you're like, one, not only do I love that you set a game plan for me, but number two, it's easy. So it's like, okay, sure, I'll show up to that. And it's the same thing in sales.

I'm fascinated because now you're at a point in your career where you're making millions of dollars a year. Can you break that down for us, like what is your biggest income driver? Is it, are you doing part-time sales? Is it your courses that you're doing with your community? Is that through like brand deals or what is that through?

No, I never have ever in my life taken a brand deal and that's something I will stand firm on cuz I don't want people to be like, oh, she makes all her money from promoting these energy drinks. And I'm like, no, I just love energy drinks, you know? So I will never show up on social media and be an influencer because I'm a firm believer that influencers nowadays, unless you're the top 1%, They're broke. They don't make money. My influencer friends are texting me, hey, can I get into high ticket sales? Because it's a consistent cash flow side income driver.

Wait, so, okay, break it down for us.

Let's start first.

I'm, I'm a, a girl. I live in Miami and I don't like my job. I am interested in sales. What does the process look like for how do I get involved?

So if you're working a 9-to-5 job or like a normal job, you don't love it. I will never tell a woman to quit her job the first day. Like, that's just not smart. But the game plan a lot of these girls do is they'll come in being nurses, teachers, servers, marketing girlies. They'll have their own like main income. I tell them like, your 5 to 9 income— nope, you don't have to tell anybody what you do after work. So keep your 9 to 5 income to build your today, kind of keep that stashed away, and then your 5 to 9 is where you build your future income. So I would tell her, start part-time, take sales calls after work, on the weekends. Um, and obviously there's training that is self-paced so they can do it around their full-time job. And then I I always say that there's about a month or two of hell because you'll be balancing a full-time job and part-time closing deals. And then once you feel good about it and you've had like 3 or 4 deposits coming in, then you kind of hit a tipping point where you're like, oh my gosh, I'm making more taking these random sales calls than I am at my full-time job. Then I feel like it's a good time to reevaluate where you put your time and energy.

And then tell us about how does it actually work to get paid in sales? So is it I sell a $100,000 course and I take a commission, 10 percent off of that. Is that how it works?

Yeah, so high-ticket offers are anybody that sells an online coaching or mentorship. So like fitness mentors, um, investing mentors, real estate mentors, sales mentors. I have closers on my team. Um, we all sell high-ticket programs, so anywhere between $3,000 all the way up to like $100,000 for the program, or sometimes more. Uh, the commission industry standard is about 10%. Some will pay you more depending, or sometimes a base. Um, but safe to say is 10%. So if you're on like a $20,000 offer and you close it on a 45-minute sales call, you walk away with $2,000. Brand. Okay.

And how did you transition from pest control to doing high-ticket sales?

Yeah, so it was so random. At the end of my last summer doing door-to-door sales, I was making $300 grand in a summer. Wow. So that's nuts. And I was what, 21, 20? Yeah, that was like a lot. I felt like a billionaire, you know, going back to my college town. I was buying all my friends drinks. I'm like, don't worry, dinner's on me. Like, I loved it. And I kind of hit the peak of the door-to-door sales industry. And I just didn't love the culture. And in my head, I was always feeling this tug that I think a lot of women feel, which is I'm working in person right now, and this is fine for right now, like grinding, working in person, knocking doors in 120-degree heat, moving to Minnesota every year. But in, in my head, I was like, I want to be a mom one day, and I want to be a very present mom. Like, I don't want to be the mom that like leaves, isn't with her kids at all. So that is like big dream that I have in my head. So I felt— always felt this tug of like, I want to do something remote that's like more of a work-from-home lifestyle but still do sales. So I was talking to one of my like good friends from Arizona, um, at the end of my last summer doing door-to-door sales, and he was telling me how he's doing high-ticket sales, and I didn't get it. I've never heard of it before. So he showed me some of his recorded calls, and I was like, okay, well, if he can close these deals, like, let me try. So I took his next sales call and I closed the person in under 10 minutes and I made a grand. So I was like, oh my gosh, like, this is legit. This is a huge space that I didn't even know existed. And more, more than the money, but I was like, this is a remote work from home lifestyle that I could actually fit around my life. And so I decided to go all in on high ticket sales kind of while I was still at the door-to-door company. They just didn't know about it. Um, and then I decided to go all in on it.

And what were you selling?

An SAT prep offer. Yeah. So a lot of it had to do with decision makers because you'd be talking to the kids, but like their parents would be paying for it, or sometimes the college would like subsidize it. But it was a little bit more of just like a direct sell, but a little bit more hoops to jump through with the parents or whoever's paying for it. But yeah, and then I started posting sales tips online because I was like, salesgirl closing deals. And I was looking for a sales mentor that was a woman because I hated all of the sales tips that these guys would say online. I would look at them and I would be like, okay, well, if I said that, that would never work. So I was looking for a sales mentor on social media, found nobody, nobody. And I'm like, there's no girl talking about how to close the deal. So I just open up my phone and I'm like, okay, if you're in sales and you're a girl, instead of saying this, say this, and it'll work 10 times better. Stuff like that, just little sales tips for the girls. And it blew up, like blew the freak up. My socials just like instantly, like all these girls were like, oh my gosh, no one's ever talked about selling like a woman.

And what do you think is some of the best sales advice that you give to these girls?

It's your ability to stay positive, cuz there's a lot of nos in sales, you know, any sort of sales. There's people that'll make you feel like the gum on the bottom of the shoe because you're a sales rep, you know. But you have to be able to disassociate from yourself when you're doing sales. And whenever I say this, people are like, what? But you have to be a literal psychopath in sales because you have to take— okay, I'm Shelby, I'm this person, this is what I love about me, these are my values, or this is like my personality— take it away and step into an alternate version of yourself That way you can disassociate from the rejection. Cuz when people tell you no, they're not telling you no, they're just saying no to the conversation, to the timing, to the price, to themselves. Like when you kind of see it as that, it's able to digest the nos and the rejection.

And let's take sales completely out of this. Let's say I'm just someone who wants to be better at negotiating, arguing. I, I wanna win an argument with my boyfriend. Let's say for example. Oh, okay. What do you think are tips that are really applicable to that?

Okay, this is my favorite question. So, um, whenever you're talking to somebody in an argument or a negotiation, framing is going to be your best friend. So whenever somebody says something that you don't like, amplify those last couple words and it'll make them overexplain it. So for example, if you're in an argument with your boyfriend and he tells you something and he's like— oh, wouldn't the example be— give me an example.

What's something people fight about with their boyfriend? Your boyfriend doesn't want to get his eyebrows done. Okay, okay, yeah, sure, let's use that. Yeah, yeah, well, this is kind of— this is actually kind of real. Yeah, okay, so let's say I'm talking to my boyfriend. I think his eyebrows, yes, need to be done. He doesn't want to. We're, we're arguing.

Yeah, yeah. And he goes off the end, he's like, I don't want to be so feminine, have my eyebrows look like that. You're like, be so feminine? What do you mean feminine? And he's like, well, not feminine, but like, I don't want my eyebrows to be like a straight line all the way across. A straight line? What do you mean a straight line? They're not going to do it like a straight line. So you just amplify the set— the words that they use that you know are not accurate, say it in kind of like a confused sense, and it'll make people explain themselves a little further. So for example, another one in a sales context is like you hop on the phone with somebody and they're like, well, like, we don't have too bad of an issue, like, we're pretty happy where we're at, I just kind of wanted more information. It's like, oh well, I don't think you would join an hour-long sales call on something you just want information on that you could find on Google. Like, something tells me you want more implementation rather than information. They're like, well yeah, probably.

Okay, wait, I think I saw a viral clip of you talking to your boyfriend where you were like, oh, I absolutely use sales tactics on you. And he— or your fiancé, sorry. And he was like, no you don't.

He was like, no, you never do that. And I look at the camera, I'm That's how you know you're good.

Wait, so give us an example of that.

So we're looking at wedding venues.

Okay.

Okay. So I wanted this one wedding venue in Lake Como, and I knew that it was so expensive, like so ridiculously, like a $500K wedding venue that like everybody would be like, why would you do that? Right? But I really wanted it. So I took him to, on FaceTime obviously, I took him to the $850,000 wedding venue first.

Okay.

And so that's called anchoring. You anchor someone to something that's wildly outrageous, and but you reason with them. You're like, yeah, like that, that's just ridiculous. Like a million doll— and you kind of like brought— maximize it. You're like, a million dollars for one day is like absolutely nuts. That way when I bring him to the one that I actually want, it's more of the middle choice instead of the top one. That's just an example. Or like Um, option closing is really good. Like, if I want Alex, as my fiancé, to like take me to a certain dinner spot, um, I would be like, are you feeling like steak tonight, or do you just want to like eat home and do like noodles or something? And obviously he doesn't want to do noodles because he's a workout guy, so obviously he wants steak, which is why I framed it that way. He was like, well, like, yeah, probably my macros like more meat. That's how he talks. And I'm like, okay, so like I'm looking on Apple. There's this restaurant, this restaurant, or this restaurant. There are each 10 minutes away. Like, which one did you want to do? So I don't ask him like which steak restaurant because then he'll find one that I probably didn't want to go to. So you give people options, that way they can have the illusion of control. Hopefully he doesn't watch this podcast. Um, when you give people options, it gives them the illusion of control. That way they still feel like they chose it, but you really— again, you're the neck. You steer them in the right direction of giving them 3 options that you would want.

Has there ever been a time that this has blown up in your face and not worked?

Um, no, no, no. I was like actually trying to think. She has 2 engagement rings. What do you think? Also, also, he got my name tattooed on his finger 2 weeks after our first date.

Oh wow, you really sold him.

I know. Part of me in my brain, I'm like, you're nuts. It's like, you're literally crazy. He's like, do you want to get yours? I'm like, no, but I love that for you. Um, but it's just, again, like, if you're ever talking to a guy or even in friendships, like, your time is so valuable. And I think when you have a lot going for you, people want to rise to the occasion and like fit in your schedule. And that's why diamonds are more rare than anything else, because they— you don't come across them so often. So you need to kind of position yourself as like the diamond jewelry store, like the real diamond. And be a little bit more hard— harder to access. Um, because when you're harder to access, it's just, um, an association of value. So if you're always available, always texting back super quick, it's like there's no dopamine hit of like, oh, is she gonna respond to me? When can I hang out with her?

Wait, give us your texting tips.

Oh, I'm the best texter. Like, my college friend is sitting right there. Like, I— oh no, I'm, I'm terrible with texting back. I'm the worst texter backer. But I'm great when it comes like crafting a response. I'm always the girl, like the banter person. Yes, yes. So it's all like playful questioning, and I'm not like a dating coach or anything, but it's just like—

but give us some tips.

Um, it would have to be like a specific text where I'm like, oh, say this. Like, it's more of like playful questioning. It's like, I don't know, like, what do you think we should do? I don't know, it's just hard to explain, but it's just a little bit of a banter and playfulness.

Okay, interesting. Wait, and I, I want to definitely talk more about your relationship. How did you and your fiancé start dating?

When I was building my company, I was working like 18-hour days, no sleep whatsoever. It was the demise of my last relationship because I had no time. And I think when you're in a relationship with someone where you're kind of starting to outgrow them— and this happens a lot with girls that get into a relationship in high school or college, and then you guys become different people That's kind of what happened with me in my last relationships is like I've grown so much over and over again. Um, not even financially, but skillset-wise, mindset-wise, and it gets harder to be able to relate to someone and also to respect them when you grow so much. So it is really hard for high-performing women to find a guy that can match or exceed that, but it is the best blessing ever because it's like sales. You weed out all of the unqualified buyers. So a guy that doesn't have his shit together, that is kind of manic, figuring out his life still, and he's 25, like you would never even entertain it because you're like, ew, like I can't even have a conversation with you. So it kind of weeds out people that you wouldn't want anyways. That way you're only talking to the qualified buyers who will make time for you, who have their shit together, who can lead you, who you can respect. And then you're spending less time going on random dates, but better time with better qualified applicants.

And is that how it was for you guys, or walk us through your first date?

Yeah, so he DM'd me on Instagram. I know, like Gen Z love. I don't know how I saw, I never check my DMs, but I saw it and I was actually in Paris alone. I love going on random trips alone, just like exploring. And so it was perfect timing because I was in like the city of love. And walking around by myself, just kind of like on my phone the whole time, walking around. And he DM'd me, he said, "You're dialed." And I was like, that was his message.

What does that mean?

That means like you're so— like you're so like good at what you do. Yeah, you're dialed. And I said, "Says you." Like, says you, because he obviously is too. And so after that, it was what he said after that though, because I'm like, ah, whatever, like he said, what are your 5-year goals? And I love talking about goals. And so I just sent him a voice memo and I was like, I love that you asked this question. I never responded to DMs, but here we go. And I was like, 5 years, this is my plan, is what I'll be doing. And then he— I was like, what are your 5-year goals? And then he was very specific on his and they kind of matched up. And so I was like, okay, this is a good person to actually spend time with. And this is sales. You kind of weed out unqualified buyers, but when there is a qualified buyer, then you drill it, you know, like, yeah, until they close. Um, no, I'm kidding. But, um, then we just started voice memoing back and forth, and he was like, what day do you fly back to Miami? And I told him, and we had our first date the next day. He flew down, took me on a first date, and on our first date, he booked an Airbnb because he didn't live in Miami. He booked— green flag, by the way. Um, he booked an Airbnb to live there for the next month so we could get to know each other.

And he planned that from— he knew he was going to be there for a month.

Yeah, but that's what I'm saying. Like, if you're a guy watching this or a girl that wants to get an opportunity or make money, like, you have to be like drilled on your goal and like be able to execute in a tight fashion. Like, one thing that my fiancé and I always say is like, the time that it takes from you to have a loop that's open to closing that loop is going to determine how successful you are. So this could be if you're a girl and you know that your job isn't good, but you're kind of comfortable and you're like, whatever. The amount of time that you have that thought, that is the loop opening, to the amount of time that it takes you to execute closing that loop and actually implementing something, that is going to, to determine how successful you are. So close the loops. And that's what he did.

That's so cute. Well, I mean, I'm also really curious because obviously, like you said, it's super hard for successful women to find a supportive partner. How did you know that he was someone who was going to be supportive of your career? Because I know people have also talked about sometimes you make more money than him. Yeah. Has that ever been a point of contention?

Yeah, so I make more money than him, but he has more money. He, he's been doing this for longer, so he has been making great money for like 6 years. And for me, it's like ramped up more in the last like probably 2 or 3. So, um, I make more money, but it's really not that far off. I feel like anytime you guys are both making over $500 grand a month, it's like, who gives, who cares, you know? It's all the same. It just means I can buy more rental properties, which don't mean anything, you know? Um, but it's all about him taking care of you is the thing. It's not necessarily the dollar amount. It's like, is he paying for dinner? Is he the one— yeah, it's like, is he the one going above and beyond financially for you? And it's not expensive to do that.

So, and do you feel like it's been easy to balance your career and then also your relationship?

Yes, because we both are so driven on our own things, and that's what you need like, if you're a girl, you're driven, you're working the whole time, and your man's just clocking in, clocking out, going to the bar— like, you'll never work out. That's me and my last ex. Like, you won't see eye to eye, and you'll feel like, why am I the one working? Like, I'm the girl. Like, if I'm working, you should be working harder. And so one thing I love about him is he's like, I have never worked so hard in my life since dating you, because there's no way, like, that I'm just gonna not have anything going for me while I'm dating you. So I think that's a good sign that you're dating the right person, is when you both inspire each other to be the best version of yourself for each other.

And it's like how we're basically dating. I spend more time with Sophia.

You need to stop that thread immediately. Immediately.

I love that. No, I mean, I, I think that— I'm also curious, do you guys ever fight?

Oh yeah, like, yeah, we fight all the time. I mean, it's just like a normal relationship. Um, right now we're closing on a house and it's very stressful and he's like handling it all. Okay, so He's like, I'm on the phone with doing blah blah blah, and you're in New York doing these podcasts. I'm like, yeah, but you're the man, so you got to, you know, um, little fights, but nothing that's like alarming or anything. Like, we always get through it. Like, if you just don't go to bed mad, I feel like that's a good rule.

But do you use your sales negotiation in the fights?

Yeah, so you really can't watch this one. It's, it's all when you're fighting, it's all about like empowering someone. So for example, if you nag your boyfriend all the time and you're like, you're the worst with this, you're terrible with this, you always do this— people either rise or fall to the expectations that you set. It's called labeling. So in a sales context, if I'm having a conversation with a girl that wants to get into sales, I'll start the conversation by saying, dude, first of all, I love how motivated and driven you are. Like, you are ready to actually make a change. Like, I love that about you. You have the urgency. So with that label, somebody will have more of an expectation to live up to that, which means like executing, being urgent, being motivated, being driven. Same thing in dating. Like, you tell your boyfriend whenever he does nice things for you, gets you flowers, oh my gosh, I love when you get me flowers, like, you're so sweet, you are the best boyfriend ever. And then they'll start acting more in accordance to the expectation that you give them because people don't like to let others down. So if you just empower them I feel like that always helps in any conversation, in a sales conversation, in your relationship, rather than just nagging all the time.

If you were 20 years old, you're just getting started in sales again, what would you do? Where would you start? Would you do door-to-door sales again?

Hell no. Hell no, dude. When I was doing door-to-door sales, it physically drains you. Like, I used to have the fattest, juiciest ass before I did door-to-door sales. Lost it all. I lost— I like lost all my muscle. You're walking like 30 steps a day, eating like one meal a day. So I would not do that at all. I would start in high ticket sales, not even because like that's what my company helps with, but that is the best. You can make the most amount of money in a not easier but a simpler manner. Like you can close deals from the comfort of your home, which is nuts to me. Like I always tell my girls whenever they complain like, oh, I'm on this offer and the lead flow is like this person wasn't qualified that I was talking to. I'm like, they're sitting down with you on Zoom. They signed up for their own sales call. They took an hour out of their day to sit down and have you pitch them. I used to knock on doors and beg people to even listen to me. Like, anyone's qualified. That's my mindset though, is like every single person is qualified. Simply because of the fact that they're sitting down with you, taking time out of their day. They're at least somewhat interested to do that. Like, I would never take an hour out of my day just to like look at something that I'm at all not interested in. So the pure fact of them being on that call and being a warm lead is just a layup in my opinion. So I would get into remote high-ticket closing and I'll become a closer and I would stack my schedule. So I have some girls that get on one offer and I have some girls that get on 2 or 3. So you can— that's the cool part about it is it's flexible. You are your own sales business.

And what do you post on social media?

What? Oh yeah, for sure. So you don't have to post on social media in order to be a remote closer. That's kind of one of the cool things is you don't have to like be an influencer, but it definitely helps. Like if you talk about, you know, how you're closing deals, uh, little sales tips, or how you like to close specific people in a specific niche, you'll have coaches seeing those videos and being like, hey, I would love for you to close on my offer. And then you just have more clients in the pipeline to eventually close deals for.

Okay, amazing. Well, Shelby, this was such a great episode. Thank you so much for coming on The Burnout.

Yeah, thank you so much.