S2 Ep 27 I Dare You to Do It with Stacey Lauren

When I was a child, the way that I was educated in school was we were taught that we always had to fit a mold. By that, I mean we were taught what we had to memorize, we were taught what we had to say and what a proper response was according to someone who created proper responses. I suppose we were taught all this method, but we weren't encouraged to think or to think outside the box or to be creative. So here I am, coming full circle, having found my voice with the help with my guest today, in terms of being able to speak, in terms of being able to co create. Listen. Welcome to a new episode of about this Life with yours truly, Ann Marie. About this Life is about giving ourselves the chance to live life abundantly. Conversations with our guests focus on shifting, shifting our beliefs and expectations to create a new way to experience the gift of life. Imagine looking through a window to see how someone else changed their life so that we leave with ideas for our own. So I'm over the moon. Excited to welcome today's guest. Stacy Lauren is the founder of the do the Thing, a podcast, a community, and the best of all, a formula that helps people overcome limitations, achieve goals, and unlock their potential. She's passionate about podcast business, mentorship, community building, and entrepreneurship. Stacy oversees two communities that perform challenges to further their expansion while using the do the Thing formula. Stacy. Yay. Hey, so welcome to about this Life. I am so excited to have this conversation with you, because the fact that I even have a podcast. Who, me? Anne Marie? My goodness, I'm not a celebrity. I'm not somebody famous. But you encourage. Not just myself, but there's a whole gaggle of us to just do the thing. So why don't you just share a little bit about what is do the Thing?

Yeah. First of all, I'm so happy to be here. I absolutely adore you. And it's just amazing to just. Yeah, just have the space for us to be able to do this. But do the thing is pretty much really, it's you.

It's the people, you know, that are like, that get it, that just want to take action. Tired of just, like, living that life of just, you know, same old, same old, wanting something new, wanting a change, realizing that we have one life to live and we are, like, ready to do something with it. And a lot of times that does start with first waking up, you know, to wanting something different, and then to then tapping into your voice and what makes you feel alive, which then gets you to feel like you're ready to amplify it. And help others and impact others. So do the thing is basically, it's a podcast and a community, but we are driven by the formula that was dissected from the podcast. And then I tested it in the community to see if it really worked, and it did, because we're on here podcast because of it. And that's pretty much. So through the structure of just a simple Facebook group, people are then given the safe space in a private setting to be able to really, like, help, encourage support, mentor each other and being vulnerable. And so it's giving everyone the belief that they can do it too, because they're getting to see everyone else in the community do it. And so that's what's really, I think, the thing that's really making work and why people get results so fast. Because you're doing the thing right, and then Madeline's doing the thing and Carmen's doing the thing, and you guys are each able to see each other, which is then driving the community forward.

It's given a certain energy to it because we see others working. And we said, okay, that's an idea. I can try, but, you know, let's help our listeners out a little bit. What is the. It is the. The formula. You know, for me, it's a podcast, but what do you mean by it? Do the thing. What are we talking about?

Yeah, so do the thing is really anything that you want. So it could be leaving your job of 20 years, it could be starting the business, it could be selling your business, it could be getting married, getting divorced, traveling the world. It's really whatever it is that you want to do and being able to get the courage to do it. And the formula is basically, it's an acronym, and it's I'm game. And that's the thing that really helps people do it. Because, like, when I set up the challenges, the first thing I have them do is identify why they're doing the challenge, what do they want to get out of it, what is it that they're hoping to achieve, and what are the benefits that's going to bring them, what it could cost them if they don't do it, depending on what challenge it is. And so the I and I'm game is really the first step to be able to help people get started. And then what's cool is because everyone's sharing that in the group, that's giving them the immediate connectedness together to show people like, oh, okay, you're starting a podcast. You're starting a podcast. Why couldn't I start A podcast. Because, like, there's some. Yeah, there's like a common purpose. And it could be starting a podcast, it could be dating, it could be writing a book, it could be getting fit. The thing is kind of like, doesn't matter because it's the same process each time. And then it gives everyone that, like, motivation to be able to, like, feel like they're in the right place at the right time.

I often describe it as myself. Being part of the community is like, I found my tribe. I found the people who could help me get rid of all of the excuses. And one of my favorite quotes of you, Stacy, is do it messy. So I do things messy because, you know, nothing is ever perfect. We are trying all of these things. What about that person? They know they want to change their lives, but they don't know exactly what they want to do. Some of the things that you listed off I can identify. Yes, Concrete. So Annemarie wanted to start a podcast, but what about that person who wants to change that? They don't know what they want to do.

Yeah. You know, it's so great that you asked that question. And that is such. That is like, it's such a unique question. And I love that because I think that's true for so many people where they just don't know. And it's okay to not know because you can also have like a rough draft idea of something that you may want to do. It doesn't have to be so like in the box. Right. Like, for me, my thing was I thought I wanted to write a book and that's how my podcast started. That's then how the community started. I haven't written the book yet. Like, I've been starting it, I've been writing it. It's like 70% done, but it's sort of just sitting there. But honestly, like, it doesn't even matter anymore because of the book. All this other stuff was created. And so I. Great. Because, like, it evolved. And I think that's the best thing for people is to like, you don't have to know exactly what it is. Just have a rough draft idea and then just take one step in the direction of the thing you want to do. And you know, what if the thing is like, okay, I'm going to wake up at six in the morning tomorrow just to change my routine. Or when one of the dating challenges, we did a thumb wrestling dare. I'm going to thumb wrestle a stranger today. Yeah, it could be the most like, random thing and just start with that. It just Start with whatever kind of just feels alive for you and just do one little thing.

Something in what you said, you said you thought you were about to write a book, and this thing morphed into something greater than a book. When did you know that do the thing was special? When did you know that it was big? Bigger than just a book you set out to write?

Yeah. Oh, my gosh, your questions are so good.

I go deep, Stacy. Wow.

They're so good. Yeah. No, I'm getting chills thinking about the moment that I knew because, like, I had. I had pretty much. Where was I? I think I was on my 80th podcast episode, and I was. I think I had almost dissected the formula. It didn't have the acronym yet, but I was like, I knew mindset and goals and different things. And so in my mind, I knew I wanted to test the formula. And I'm in my bed, in my room. I had Covid at the time, and all of a sudden I watched this show called Working Moms, and I got to see, like, just this funny thing. They were playing truth or dare, but without the truth, and they were just doing dares for each other. And one of them was, like, telling them to, I hope I can do this on your show, but, like, show their boobs and, like, meet people. Okay. Moon people and different things like that. And then I was like, oh, my gosh, that would be so much fun to just do a dare challenge and get people to date in a different way. Don't do the crazy ones, you know, like the boobs or the butt.

But, like, unless you're in New Orleans.

Yeah, but, like, say hi. You know, say hi to a stranger. Or, like, you know, ask for directions or something. And so that's when the first dating challenge idea was born. And I was in a group. I have a peloton, so I was in this peloton singles over 40 group. And I posted it in the group, and I was like, hey, guys, if I was going to do a dare challenge, is that something you might be interested in? And literally, like, I had, like, over a hundred comments saying, yes, yes, yes, yes. And said, I'm like, okay, I guess I'm doing a dare challenge now.

And then.

And then I did, like, really quick survey on Google, asking them, like, okay, if I was going to do this challenge, what would you want to get out of it? What have you been struggling with? The thing that I wanted to point out and why this is so special is I didn't have to ask anyone any Advice. I felt like it was, like, so deep in my heart, like, what I was doing, that it was like, right. And then I was caught up in the momentum of what the people were needing that I didn't even think about it. It's funny. Even my boyfriend, he was like, I didn't even know you were doing a dating dare challenge. Like, because I didn't even talk to. It was happened so fast that, like, no one knew. Like, it was, like, just the quickest thing. And then within, like, a minute, like, I had a Facebook group. I had a hundred people in there. I had a bunch of stuff on the survey, and then I had no idea what I was gonna do for the dating challenge. Like, I literally had, like, no idea.

That must have been an interesting conversation with your boyfriend. I know.

I know.

And then my honey, I'm not talking about. For me.

Yeah, Right.

Yeah, I'm doing.

Yeah. It was funny. It was, like, so funny. And then. So my daughter was. Fortunately, thank goodness that this worked out the way it did. Daughter was on summer break, and she's good at, like, all this stuff, you know? So I was like, oh, my gosh, can you help me? And I still have Covid, so I'm still in my room, and I'm like, so I'm just texting her because I don't want her to get sick. She's 16 now. And anyway, I'm texting her, and I'm like, can you help me? I need some images for this dating challenge. And she was like, okay. And then she was the one that created the. Their images. And because she, like, immediately got it, you know, the visual immediately, like, was in front of me. And so, yeah, it was like, compliment a stranger. You know, say hi at a grocery store. Like, really simple things. But when I did it in the group, it was like, all of a sudden, like, the group just came alive, and people were just, like, loving it. And so that's when I knew it was, like, literally just by, like, me creating the most simplest image on the planet and posting it. And then people did it. And then by them doing it, they're, like, getting more, like, courageous to do it. Because, like, you know, I mean, it's like opening yourself up when you're, like, even just saying hi or smiling. You're, like, facing rejection. All these things that I had already, like, I learned how to deal with many years ago through sales, like, how to handle rejection, how to have a goal and things like that. And it just sort of, like, it just happened naturally, you know, what Stacy.

Shout out to your daughter, because there is something youthful and silly about some of the dares, you know, like the thumb wrestling one.

So it's like, it captures a youthful spirit. Like, go out and have fun. Enjoy life. It sounds so very special. But as in anything in life, I'm sure there must have been some challenges along the way. So did you find challenges in putting this together as has evolved? How long have you been at this now? Two years, three years?

Yeah, it's only been a year and a half. And. Okay, I've had just.

You would never know.

Yeah, I've had just, like, challenges with myself, you know, so, like, I had when I was starting the podcast, I don't know, it's like all of a sudden I forgot that I like my skills. Right. Like, for you, when you started your podcast, like, having taught and done all the things you've done, obviously you're using those skills through the podcast. Like, I forgot about, like, me owning this company and interviewing people. And like, I've done this all along, but I still. When you do something new, I mean, imagine you get scared, you know? And so, like, I was nervous. I didn't like my voice. I didn't like the way I looked. All these things came up. And so I had to, like, overcome the mental baggage. Which is funny. My first episode literally says, like, I want to help you guys overcome the mental baggage of getting you to do the thing you want. And what I didn't realize is because this was a brand new thing, I had mental baggage. And so that's like, one of the things that had come up. And then I'm sure there was always, like, during the find your voice challenge, when I was planning that, I all of a sudden, like, lost my voice. Not really lost my voice, but I was, like, struggling with some things personally, and I, like, needed to find my voice again. And I was like, this is so weird that, like, right as of the time that I'm about to run the challenge, and I said it on one of my episodes. So it's kind of interesting how it kind of like, it's nice about a podcast is at timestamps your life pretty much. But I was like, it's interesting that right as I'm about to help people find their voice, I literally am having trouble speaking up for myself. But it's because I have those skills now. I, like, know what to do, you know? So that was the other time, and then another time is now I'm like, in the middle of going to this whole other level. Where I'm, like, helping people now build their own online community. And I've gotten an imposter syndrome, like 4 or 5, 25, I don't know how many times. But they say, like, new level, new devil. Like, whenever you hit a new level, something else is going to come up that's going to try to get you to not do it, you know, And I constantly just have to remind myself that, like, I'm different. Like, the stuff I'm doing is different. You know, it's not the same as everyone else. I do it from a way different. Like the do it messy. Just getting it out there. We're not talking about the thing, we're doing the thing. And so I think those are some of the things that have. Have really been coming up for me.

So it's a mind game. And it goes back to the story I shared in terms of you're trained to think one way, and it's a belief system that you have. I've only have to do it this one way. And you have to allow yourself to believe that it's possible, that it can happen. You have to keep pressing into it. It's like serendipity in terms of all of this coming together, losing your voice, and it coming back. So I suppose what I want to ask you next is what are some of the challenges that you've run? We have finding your voice. We heard write a book. So why don't you go ahead and list some of them?

Yeah. And this kind of goes back to your other question with what. What happens with the person that doesn't know what they're. What they want to do yet. So with my challenges, I did not have any plans of, like, what challenge was being run when I started with. So that's like an example of, like, having an idea of what you want, because it started with the dating challenge, and then I did another dating challenge. And then what I realized what people really needed was to love themselves again and to learn how to really find their voice. So that's why the find your voice challenge was next. And then there was the startup book challenge, which came from the find your voice challenge. Because one of the dares in the find your voice challenge is if you were going to write a book, what book would you write? And then someone in that challenge, Pamela Nichols, she has the podcast healing words, she's amazing. I don't know if you met her yet, but you guys should definitely connect. She was like, oh, I'm an author. You know, I can help you run this Challenge. So I hadn't even been planning on writing on doing the start a Book challenge. So that's where that challenge came from. And then during the startup book Challenge, I think then we did. Then I did the startup podcast challenge. Since then it was, oh, going live, you know, like, which was so much fun. And that's where I learned how to then leverage the Facebook group into other platforms, which has been like a huge thing for all of us, I think when we got to learn that idea. And it was cool because the only time I had gone live was really on Facebook. I hadn't done a live on Instagram. So that got me to learn how to go live because I'm leading this challenge. So that was fun. And then the two hour cocktail party, that's where we followed Nick Gray's book, the two hour cocktail party, and ran to our. We ran our own parties. That was really fun. And then we have the bucket list challenge coming in January. January 10th. That one's gonna be. And I'm really excited for that one. I partnered with Laura Carney. She's the author of my father's list. And she was on another challenge that came from another challenge. She was on the expert panel for the startup book challenge. And then I just, like, love what she's doing. Her book actually talks about her doing her dad's list. Her dad had passed away five years before, and then she basically took five years to do his bucket list. So we're doing it in, like, honor of that. So, yeah, it's gonna be really, really good.

I can't think of a more fitting list. Tribute to a parent.

Yeah.

Than to do that out to anybody, really. A loved one to go ahead and finish their bucket list. And with that, you sort of internalize it. And that's why I say your challenges are just talk about growth, self development and evolving into becoming who you are. It's just another way of coming back home to yourself through these challenges. So that is one I would look forward to because, you know, with both my parents no longer here, what would be on their bucket list? So it's something to think about. Talk about another book, since we're on that one where I was gifted by you, what to do when it's your turn. And it's always your turn. This book is by Seth Golden. Golden is G O D I N. One of the things that the author talks about is when is the right time. Stacy. All of the excuses in the world. Oh, my goodness. I am too busy. That's mine. I don't know that I can do it. You've addressed that a little bit, because the community is there for you. How am I going to fit this in? Oh, this is silly. This is somebody. This is something for somebody younger. You've heard it all, right? You've heard it all. And Seth Godin, it seems to be telling us, you know, there's never, ever going to be a right time. You just have to jump in. Okay. Can you comment or reflect on that?

Yeah. I love that book so much. That's why I did it as a giveaway, because it's. And I love the way he writes it in a way that's, like, fun, you know? So I think he added that, like, layer of fun to it, which I really loved. But, yeah, it's all about action. I think so many people think it has to be some, like, crazy, huge thing that you do, but it doesn't. You know, like, you started your podcast, but it started with a dare, you know, like, I don't remember the first dare, but maybe it was the what are your excuses? Dare. Right. And so if you didn't start with that one, you wouldn't have your podcast. Right?

Right, Right. Absolutely.

And so I think a lot of people, they look at just the podcast, or they look at just the book, or they look at just the business, whatever it is they're looking at doing, but they don't realize it's not about the podcast, it's not about the book. It's about the one thing that, like, just makes sense that you could just start with the smallest thing just to get yourself in momentum.

Absolutely. Abs. What's the scariest thing you ever did?

What is the scariest thing I've ever done?

What's the scariest thing you ever did?

Let's see. What is the scariest thing I've ever done? It's like a dare. It's like a dare question.

Because it's one. Like, I. I say this a lot where, like. And this is what find your voice does. A lot of times it's hard to answer a question, you know, that sometimes you haven't thought of. But when you're able to ask yourself the question in a different way, you know, then all of a sudden, like, it helps you start to, like, tap into those other layers of your unconscious mind, you know, that may not be sitting up top.

So I know.

Yeah.

Vicki Poole would be good at this, right?

Oh, yeah, I know. Vicki's so amazing. Oh, my gosh. I just started working with her. It's amazing.

I just Had a great time with Vicki.

She's so good. Yeah. I would say this sounds weird, but I think the exit of my business, when I sold my half of my business, I think that was scary because I just didn't know what was next. I had. I was so wrapped up in, like, the company and, like, 20 years, you know, like, with that. That it was like so much of my life, you know, that I think leaving that was probably the scariest thing because I didn't know even more than my divorce, which sounds weird. Although, I don't know, maybe the divorce, too, getting divorced, but because, you know, you never know that uncertainty of just everything, knowing everything's about to change, but you not knowing what's going to happen, you know? So I would say those are the two big kind of scary moments.

Absolutely. Because just listening to what you're saying is that scary equals uncertainty. You don't know what to expect. You don't know what's coming. But somehow you've managed to land on your feet. One of the things maybe you can reflect on for us. It's almost like we are all your kids. I suppose, because I'm an educator, I always think of, you know, children in that sort of way. What has it been like for you to see all of us? There are so many people we can name, but we don't want to continue to do that because we don't want to leave anybody out. Yeah. What is it like to see all of these people finding themselves and evolving into their best selves? Yeah.

I mean, it could literally bring tears to my eyes. I just never imagined that it was going to be like this. And it just brings me so much joy that I literally have to hold myself back sometimes from doing a challenge, because I love the joy that I feel when I. When we're doing it. And I think it doesn't need to be a challenge. Like, we're able to. The group runs on its own without it. But it's been amazing because, like, when you. When you're surrounded by people that want the same thing as you, it really gives, like, this connectedness. Right. With people. And so you guys are, like, doing this, like, peer to peer mentoring together and supporting, encouraging. Some of you are like, two steps ahead, two steps behind, and then you're pulling each other along, and that's where the momentum lies. So, yeah, I am, like, in love with everybody, and it's amazing to be able to witness it. It makes me just feel like this is my legacy. It, like really. It really is my legacy.

Absolutely. I'm glad you brought that. Word up. Okay, this question. Okay. Coup de grace. Okay, I have to go back to something you said earlier. Is it Jess or Robin? I'm thinking of peloton.

Jess or Robin?

Robin.

Robin.

Okay.

Alex or. I'm trying to think of the others. Obviously. I'm in love with Alex.

I love Alex, too. Alex and Dennis. They're my Alex, Dennis and Robin. Yeah.

Dennis has stretched me out. I. I have to say, so that that has been just a fantastic trip to do the peloton.

So good.

It is so good. And I highly recommend, recommend anybody to make sure you stretch when you get fit.

Yeah, that's true. Robin, though, she, like, she pulls out your soul. I feel like she can, like, take. I mean, it doesn't matter what kind of mood you're in. Like, she will change it in a minute, you know?

Absolutely. I love how they say, like, you get to do this. You get to take care of yourself. And Chelsea, she pulls at your soul, too, with the playlist that she has in terms of yoga.

Oh, I haven't. I haven't done her yet. I have to try.

Yeah, you have to do Chelsea. She is amazing as well. And Alex, just no prisoners. He's like. Yeah. He's like, get up so good. You thought you were going to rest.

But, Stacy, if somebody wants to become part of this community, you mentioned that in January, there's another challenge coming up. How do they find you? How do they join this wonderful community and experience all it has to give? Yeah.

Thanks for asking. Yeah. The best way is to join the Facebook group. It's do the thing community dot com. And it will lead you straight to the Facebook group. And then once you join, you are in our world. And you can say hi to Anne Marie and to me and all the other do the thing community members.

That is phenomenal. So I just want to thank you for being my guest today on about this Life where we are changing our lives one day at time. Thank you, Stacy. Thank you. Is in fulfillment.

Fulfillment.