The Why Not Today? Podcast - Season 3 - Episode 9 with Stacey Lauren, Podcast Host and Community Builder, Do The Thing

Welcome to the why Not Today podcast, where we celebrate courage, determination, and the power of saying why not Today? I'm your host, Leslie Kane. In each episode, we dive into the inspiring stories of individuals who have taken bold steps, faced their fears, and embraced the possibility of today. From entrepreneurs to artists to dreamers or doers, we explore the moments when they said, enough waiting. Why Not Today? Join me as we uncover the heartwarming, the audacious, and the transformative. Whether it's pursuing a lifelong passion, overcoming obstacles, or simply choosing joy, our guests share their journey and inspire us all. I started this podcast in honor of my father, Patrick Cain, who often said, why not today? And always say, remember, you're just one decision away from changing your life. And my guest today is Stacy Lauren. And. And she has a fun Facebook group movement called do the Thing. And that so aligns with why Not Today. And I first discovered Stacy because.

Laura Carney, who has been on the podcast and I've talked that often, she was actually our guest at a luncheon. She was on a bucket list challenge with Stacy. So I started watching, following Stacy, and then Stacy actually introduced me to Leslie Kuster, who. Who will be on the podcast as well. And we've connected and it's just so fun. And I think through you, I met Wendy Taylor. So it's fun just to see the connections and just how deep they're going.

And so I'm excited to have you on the podcast to hear about do the Thing. So, Stacy, why don't you introduce yourself a little bit about you and a fun fact and then we'll get into the current discussion.

Yeah. Hi. I'm so glad to be here. My name is Stacey Lauren, and yeah, I have the podcast called do the Thing, where I help people take action on the things they want. I've dissected a formula and then embedded it to my community, which is the do the Thing community. And my fun fact is that I was a clown a very long time ago.

Oh, really? That's fun.

A good friend of mine's dad was a clown and.

Oh, really?

And now she's doing this whole thing about being like fairy and going to the kids birthday party. So it's kind of fun how that's evolved.

That's fun. That's actually what I. Yeah, that's what I did back in the day. I was in high school and then I was. I'd go to kids birthday parties and did the whole Tinkerbell and then the clown and all that stuff. Yeah.

And if you're watching Live, you can see Stacy has beautiful red hair, which I guess because of Ronald McDonald, you think of clown, you think of red hair.

Is that your natural hair is beautiful?

No, it was actually my, my gateway to like coming out of my old life was, you know, adding the red, you know, where I was like very traditional and really ordinary. And then I just wanted to kind of mix it up a little.

Okay. I bet there's a story behind that story.

There's a story behind that story.

Yeah. And everybody has those. So. So yeah, you do the thing that's so in line with why not today? So let's start with how would you define courage, which is your courage definition?

Yeah, it's the. It comes back to when I was in college and I went door to door sales and. Yeah. And I think it was just this, this one like line that I learned back then, which was action cures fear. And I just. That's courage. Right? It's being able to take action even though you're scared. And I think at every phase you go in life, you're scared again. You know, like every level it's like, I'm scared again and you don't want to do it. And then you just take a little bit of action, see how you feel. And then if it feels good, you could take another step. So that's probably how I define courage is with action. Curious fear.

Right. And love that. And it's, it's not always people think of courage. And we talk about this a lot, obviously, podcast, big, big, big thing. But everybody I talk to, it's just a little step of courage that we do and take the next one. Mel Robbins talks about five second rule that you just go 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, and then do it or somebody else shared on the podcast. You just need 10 or 7 seconds of courage just to do the thing, as you say.

So I was just going to say I think a lot of people think they have to do this big move and so it's even scarier. But that small micro step is just as powerful because that helps you at least get started and get some momentum, which is how you can get it done.

Yeah. And where you start and where you're finished are just so far away sometimes. And you think you're taking that step towards A and you end up at X, you know, in the path. It's just, it's so fun to watch everybody's paths and journeys with courage. So let's talk about do the thing. Where did that come from and how did that evolve? And I know you've grown it pretty darn fast, and you had a different path. And let's talk about your courage and all the things.

Yeah, so I had. I had gotten divorced, and then I had owned my business with my ex husband. So we tried to keep the business together. And then after a few years, I just exited the business and pretty much was told by a coach that I was working with at the time, do not open another business, at least for a year. Which is hard, right, for being an entrepreneur, because you're used to all this noise and all this stuff. And so I decided I was. I would write a book. So that was kind of like my first step. It was originally going to be about sales because I love sales and I love what it. What it can do for people. And then at the same time, I started dating, and I realized that a lot of my scales, sales skills applied to dating. And I don't mean, like, you know, how you look or any of that stuff. I mean, like, handling rejection.

Oh, yeah.

And positive thinking, goal setting. And so I was in my mastermind. And all of a sudden I just kept saying, like, I just want to help people do the thing. And so that's how do the Thing was born. And I had a book strategist I was working with at the time, and she said in order for it to be a good book, I had to have my hero's journey, like, what was my struggle story of when I didn't do the thing? And, you know, when I ended up being able to do it? And at the time, I had no struggle story, like, in my mind, because I've always done the thing. So she said, well, I had to interview 10 people, get their struggle story of how they couldn't do the thing, and then they were able to do it. And so that's how my podcast pretty much started to give the end story to that. The funny part is, so do the Thing isn't really about just doing the thing. What my struggle story really is is that I did the thing for everyone else and, like, what everyone else, what I thought people needed or wanted and didn't really tap into, like, what I wanted. And so that's really what do the thing. It's. It's finding your own voice and then being able to, like, kind of capitalize on. On that, being able to get it out into the world in that way.

That's awesome. And that's so true. And that's one of the kind of the sweet spots I've been finding is, you know, Especially as women, we do so much for so many other people, and we don't ask for the money for us. We don't do the things for us. We're so ready to jump on and help somebody else, but not take care of ourselves 100%.

Yeah, it's still. I mean, I think it's a work in progress. Right? We're still working on it. But I think the difference now is I recognize it. Before I didn't. It was totally unconscious. And so now I notice, okay, you know, I've got to do something for near. I'm going to get burnt out.

Yeah, somebody shared.

Okay, I was just going to say, and the cool thing is, I didn't even know it until I, like, was in the middle of the podcast. It was like my 11th or 12th interview, and I was like, wait a minute. This isn't just about doing the thing.

Like, doing the thing.

You know, it's about really tapping into who you are, what you want, and doing the thing for you.

Yeah, that's so true. Somebody, I was reading a book recently, and they talked about the golden goose philosophy. Have you heard of that?

No.

All right, so if you have a golden goose, and that is your family's income, this golden goose produces these golden eggs. Like, how would you take care of that golden goose? Like, if it was sick, you take it to the doctor immediately. You'd make sure it got sleep, it's eating the right thing and all those, you know, you treat this golden goose like gold, you know, but we're the golden goose, especially as an entrepreneur, and yet we don't always go to the doctor. We put ourselves last. We don't take care of our health. And so, you know, one of those things, just a whole mind shift to, all right, how am I going to take care of me.

So good? Yeah, for what I want. So. All right, so you start a podcast, and it's called do the Thing. And is it you just talking or do you interview people?

Yeah, it's just. It started with me wanting to dissect a formula for how people do the things. So I was interviewing successful people or people that I met that looked like they had done, you know, extraordinary things. It was a lot of people from my life, kind of like you said in the beginning. It's like once you kind of like start the spider web of talking to people, it sort of just takes on a life of its own. And so. So I was dissecting these patterns from people on what led them to success. And by the 80th episode, I identified the patterns. And so now that I've dissected the patterns, now it's more of just. I just honestly bring on anyone that I want that I feel like has a really great story of either them doing the thing or even sometimes, like, I'll bring on people who have quit their jobs right. After 20 years because I. That's really tapping into being able to overcome that fear. So it's sort of evolved over time.

Yeah. I think this podcast as well, it's kind of growing and changing and again, the kind of sweet spot I'm finding just what you said, people that have worked for a job for years, owned a business for years, been a mom, people are, I think, unsettled and looking for some what's next. Like how recreate ourselves and figure out what that natural genius and be able to make money doing it 100%.

Yeah. And especially, like. Yeah, like that thing. Especially like, I turned 50 this year. Last year. Yeah, last year I turned 50 and it was like, great, because that was this moment of just realizing, you know, I'm finally doing what I want to do. You know what I mean? I'm not like, I don't care what people think. I don't care what they say. I'm just, like, so tapped into who I am. And it's. It's really the first time in my life that I've, like, felt this way. And so, I don't know, there's something about that. I think maybe once you hit 45, 47. And so I'm finding people. I mean, many are much older, but I'm finding people in, like, that over age range where it's like, we're done, you know, we're like, ready. It's our time, you know.

I totally agree. I'm finding the same thing. It's kind of like my age range, 45 to 65. And, you know, it's that magical zero birthday. So I hit the zero birthday one 10 more than yours. I hit 60 last month. And I even did a podcast episode of lessons of celebrating 60. And, you know, we've accomplished a lot. I know when I turned 30, I got my master's and started Mary Kay business. So it's like that zero birthday. I think people often look at life and like, what's next? Am I doing what I really want to do? And I think as we get older, we don't care what people think. We want to do what we want to do and take care of us. Yeah.

Yeah. And I think, like, so I had my business. It was 20 years I owned that business, and I gave up. I sacrificed everything for that, you know, but it wasn't for the money. It was because I had 60 employees, 600 external employees. And I just felt like I was responsible, you know, for everyone and their needs and wants. And I lost myself in the process. And then when I exited, you know, I had set up systems and all that, so it was like some people had left after I exited, but it was just this realization that, like, it wasn't my job, you know, to keep people working. They could have easily gotten other jobs, you know, like many of them did after I left. And they're fine. Some of them have opened up their own business and they're doing great. But I just, like, took this responsibility that didn't have to be mine. And so it just. Yeah, it's been a. It's been a really interesting kind of re. Identification of who I am since I was able to let that go.

Yeah, that message I keep hearing over and over again. I've been reading the book Profit First. Have you read that before?

Oh, no.

Highly recommend it. It's funny, somebody recommended years ago, and I kind of ignored it. And now everybody I talk to, it's in books. People are talking about it. And it's about paying yourself first. And we're talking about an analogy of this company. They had two employees, and the employees were making more money than the owners because the owners felt responsible, and yet they weren't making any money. And.

The owners, it's like, you know, we need to make money as owners of businesses and not feel like we have to take care of everybody. Yeah. It's great that you've grown, that you have employees and you can afford employees, but not sacrificing you.

Yeah.

In the process. So let's talk about your patterns. What'd you find out? Do the thing. Patterns.

Oh, yeah. So it's an acronym, and it's I'm game. And each letter stands for a pattern. So the I is identify. The Y, which, you know, a lot of people think, like, you just have to do this once. Right. Like, identify why you want to have your, you know, do something, but it's really for everything. It's identifying the why for anything you want to do. And so the M is mindset. And there's two pieces of mindset that I really like. One is, what are your excuses and how will you overcome them? I do that before every do the thing challenge. I have people, basically, it's a dare, and I have them do that exercise where they speak it out loud into the community. And then my second mindset piece is fun. Kind of how we started with telling us something fun about us. And so. Yeah, so infusing fun. Because if you're not having fun, I mean, what's it worth? You know, it's not. It's not worth doing anything if it's not fun. And then the G is go. And so I do this through my challenges. I do dares, and that's really fun. So I like to tell people, because a lot of people get stuck in, like, smart goals, right? And that's great if you know exactly what you want to do. But, you know, you could also have a rough draft goal. It doesn't have to be, like, a whole specific thing. It could be an idea of what you want to do. But I also. Once, you know, then you have to just break it down into these little small steps. That's why I like to do the dares, is that's what those are. And then the A in game is accountability. And, you know, a lot of people, they don't realize and that this is what I've realized, because as I've identified the patterns, I do keep exploring the patterns through my community and through the podcast and through the different programs I have. But if you're. Let's say you're struggling or you're stuck doing something that you want to do, sometimes people will think something's wrong with them, Right? But if you have a game, if you have that do the thing formula, then you're able to look at it and say, okay, am I. How am I doing with accountability? Like, for me, I don't need any accountability with business. I am, like, completely, like, a little too consumed with that. But with, like, fitness, like, I have to have accountability. And so if I'm ever, like, not meeting my goals with that, then I can look and say, oh, it's because I don't have a group that I'm with. Or, like, I'm not involved with an accountability partner. Right. And so. And then the M in game is my people, which is surrounding yourself with people who have the same goal. So it's different than just being around supportive and encouraging people. This is, like, specific to whatever that thing is you want to do. And then the E in game is educate. And that's two parts. So educate is like learning from others and podcasts and videos. And it's great that you guys are listening to this podcast because of how much you're able to learn from the different People. Leslie brings on. But the second part is doing what I'm doing today, where you get to educate others. Right. And coming on your podcast and being able to contribute by education. And so that's where the fulfillment comes from. And that's when you really feel good about what you're doing, because you're then. You're then feeling like you're making a difference, too.

Right. Love it. And I can see how all those things apply to, you know, doing the thing and having the courage and saying, why not today? Yeah. In so many areas of life. And it's just interesting how all these things crisscross that I listen to and read, and people I talk to, the same messages. And I. And, you know, I call them God winks, coincidences, like there's no accident, and the people are put in your path for a reason.

Definitely.

You know.

Say I look at Laura Carney, and she's been the connector for a lot of connections. And it was a random. I saw her on TV and just reached out and, you know, you just never know.

Isn't that great? I say that, too, with her because she changed a lot for me. I. I didn't even listen. My. The guy that owns my podcast platform, he told me he heard about her on npr, and then I was like, oh, man, I have. I'd love to interview her. She's doing the thing. And at the same time, as I reached out to her, at the same time I had an expert panel it was putting together for people that had started books or had books. And so I brought her on that, and that's when the idea for the Bucket List Challenge had been infused. And she changed a lot in my community because I think, well, you know. Right. Having a. Having something be for someone else in the way that she did with her dad's bucket list. Right. Like, I think it brought this level of meaning that just hadn't, you know, that.

That.

That opened up all these portals for the people in the group. And so it's been really cool to see the effects of that.

Yeah, I love the things she's done and. And how. How it just keeps evolving. I was talking to somebody yesterday. I do a monthly luncheon now, and she came down from. She was on her way from Asheville back to New York and stopped in Virginia with my guest speaker last month, which was so fun to have her. And if you ever come to Virginia, let me know. We'd love to have you.

But she was talking. We were obviously talking about bucket lists, and I had everybody introduce themselves with their money is no object. What is the biggest bucket list thing? And there was one guest that there that at first she couldn't think of anything, which just kind of broke my heart. But once we all started talking, she came up with something. But I saw somebody yesterday that was there. And she said after we started talking about things she wanted and she had a family trip, she always wanted to do what she'd accomplished. She's like, I'm good. You know, she had a couple things. But after. Between. In the last three weeks, a friend reached out and invited her and is paying for her to go on a cruise to Italy. Oh, my God. I'm like, so, you know, and I know that. I know that. I know you just got to throw it out there and talk about it and have those intentions, whether you write it down, tell somebody, or just in your heart, have those intentions of the bucket list, the things and the universe just moves and puts those people in your path and connects you to people and the right person at the right time or the right message. But I think, and I talked about this on my episode, on my lessons I Learned on my 30th birthday is we have to be open to it, you know, be looking for somebody said one time, things don't fall in your lap unless your lap is out there.

Oh, yeah, I love that.

And so, yeah, looking for those things.

Yeah, I love that money question, too, because I do that in one of my challenges, find your voice. But because I think a lot of people can be blocked by that and they can't dream big enough because that. That, like, I can't do it because of this comes up, you know, and so, yeah, I love. I love that question. I love that you're doing that. I think that's really good way to expand people's minds.

Well, we were talking. I was interviewing Laura or Leslie. I'll be Laura's and Leslie's and Stacey, Lauren and all. So I was interviewing Leslie, which is so funny. Leslie, another Leslie case felt the same way. Leslie Cooster. And we were talking about, you know, her pivotal moment when she's like, all right, I'm done making what I'm making. I want to make more, and I deserve to make more. And we were talking about how, you know, where she started and where she is are so far apart, and when we start the thing, we can't possibly see where we're going. And I think I mentioned this on her podcast, too, but I read something, I heard something the other day about when you do a Vision board to leave space, don't fill it up, because don't know what could be what God has planned to put in those spots. And so leave it open because we don't know what we're capable of, but we're just. We're capable of saying, why not today? Or do the thing or just start and then see where it goes. So let's talk about some of your challenges or dares. What are you doing with those? Those are fun.

Yeah. So I. I do all kinds of stuff with that. It's funny. A lot of times, nothing's really planned. It just comes. Comes intuitively from the community. It sort of birthed by what people are needing. And then I get to see what's activating in me. So it's kind of fun in that way. But I've done, like, a dating dare challenge. I have a singles group that I do those with. I've done. I do find your voice. That's a kind of a. What is that called? Like a constant. You know, every couple times a year, I'll run that challenge, which. Which is great. It turned out to be. It started with me wanting to help people, like, find their own voice. Kind of what I was saying earlier where, like, we've raised our kids, we've done everything for everyone else. Now it's time to, like, figure out who we are. But the accidental part of that challenge is that it also gets you really good on video. And. And, like, so a lot of coaches and entrepreneurs like to do that challenge because it helps you show who you are with your. Where you're not nervous anymore.

Right.

And yeah, so there's that one. And then I have done a start a book challenge, the bucket list challenge. Go live. Challeng. And then right now, I'm in the middle of launching or doing. I'm running it right now. I have 23 people in the audience accelerator program. And that is like my most. I would talk about why not today encourage. That's. It's been a lot, you know, because once you're. It's now I'm helping people really kind of like, create their own online platform, build their own audience and. And kind of. Yeah, just like being leading that group and the people that are in there. Because now I'm working. I mean, I think everyone is kind of like your peer. Right. In a way. But, like, they're like, literally my peers now, you know, and so we're getting value from each other. So it's been interesting to see what that's been doing to me. As I'm like, so you're growing.

As you're growing people leading a group.

And I noticed this the other day. I keep saying, oh, does that make sense? Like, I feel like I'm getting an imposter syndrome as a. Because, like, why are they all listening to me? Like, you know what I mean? Because they're all so freaking good. And I'm like, oh, my gosh. They're like, really all listen, like they want to know what I have to say. It just feels weird. I don't know. It's just a new, new thing.

Well, I think sometimes as coaching people, we are guiding people, we're coming alongside of them.

Yeah, that's exactly what it is.

And to just give them confirmation. And they always say too, when the student's ready, the teacher comes. And you know, you're learning, just like you said in your formula. Like, you're teaching and learning.

Yeah. And I think what it is, like, I'm actually learning. I go through something on my podcast. If you guys want to listen, it's Life Assets. It's a specific kind of exercise that you could do. I interviewed one of my old coaches and I give that dare in the program. And what I realized that I'm running this program, is it like pulled out, like, why I'm good at helping people build a warm audience and why I'm good at creating community? And it pulled out all my past, you know, experiences. And so it's coming out. So I do know, like, I've got, you know, skills or whatever, but it still just feels weird to be in that space, you know, so it's just new, that's all. It's just different.

Well, and when your natural genius is building community or collecting people, which is one of mine, it just comes so naturally to us and people. I was talking to somebody the other day and they're like, I started luncheon and got up one morning and had it planned in 48 hours, invited people and they start signing up. She's like, how do you do that? I'm like, you just ask and you surround yourself and have a community of like minded people. And I think community is the key. Like, we need to help people grow, community, connect, be around like minded people.

So important and doing what like you did, I did, you know, with Laura, even, like reaching out. A lot of people are not able to do that without, you know, help or guidance. And I think that especially in the algorithm age, where people think their algorithm's gonna take them on, you know, but you do have to it's nice to be able to reach out to people and connect with people.

My dad always said, you know, what's the worst thing somebody could say? Yeah, yeah, no. Or they don't answer. But when you do, it's like, oh, wow, that's pretty cool. It can be life changing. So one of your challenges. Did you say bugaboo?

Oh, no, I think that was the bucket list, probably.

Okay. I'm like, what is bucket list?

Yeah, I have like a million more, but I'm like, sort of on hold just because I'm so invested in this audience accelerator program, and I'm building it with the people, and so it's a lot. So I've sort of am not pausing. I'm eventually, I guess, pausing. I'm eventually gonna start up again, but I have to take a break while I'm building this program out.

Yeah, there's so many things that we can do and all the ideas, and it sounds like you're a creative person, idea person, which I am. And I think that's why we connect. It's like, oh, let's do this and let's do this and let's do this. And I'm like, all right, sometimes I just gotta sit still and land the plane.

Yeah, yeah, exactly. But it's kind of cool, though, when you have that.

When you're able to do that. Let's do this, let's do that. Because then all the dots eventually connect and you see that it comes into one thing, which is actually really cool, too.

Yeah, absolutely. And. And you have that curiosity, and it just. Things just keep popping, which is fun. So, Stacy, how would you encourage somebody else to be courageous to do the thing I.

So.

Number one thing is you've got to surround yourself with people that are wanting to do it, too. Whatever it is that you're wanting to do, that will actually just give you courage by default because you're getting to see yourself in the other people that are doing it. And so, like, I. Oh, I didn't mention my start a podcast challenge. That was another big one. I got to see this a lot in that because so many people were stuck with like, oh, my gosh, am I going to be able to figure out the tech? And am I an imposter? And what am I even going to say? But because the podcast challenge, they all saw each other doing it, and, you know, some were further somewhere behind, but they were all doing it. It like, it created. Created all these amazing podcasts because they got to be a part of a group. So I would just say that would be my number one piece of advice to get courage is to put yourself in the environment with other people that are being created, like doing whatever it is your goal is that you want to do.

Yeah. Love that. So well, I always talk about how do you tie back and connect to my dad. And I would say the one big thing is that you're just doing the thing and you're an entrepreneur, which he always was, and just asking because you just never know what people are going to say. So how can people find you? Stacy?

Yeah. Thank you so much. Go to my community on Facebook and you could get to it by do the thing community.com and that'll give you access to everything. YouTube and all that stuff's kind of listed in the group.

All right, perfect. And I'll of course share all your contact and everything in the show, notes of how people can find you and all your social media. So, well, thanks for being our guest and sharing and so many cool ideas. And I'm ready to go do the thing. Even though I do too many things, probably I need to have the opposite. I'm going to cut down the things I know.

Right. Do the thing for you.

Yeah. So, well, thanks again to everybody for joining us on this inspiring journey. Remember, every day is an opportunity to take action, chase your dreams and make a difference. So why Not Today? Subscribe, share, keep pushing forward, and stay motivated to keep saying why not Today. You can find everything about the why Not Today podcast on whynot today podcast.com we're on all the social places. We've got why Not Today swag, why Not Today community Facebook group. So we're, as Stacy says, we're doing all the things.

And so if you have, if this inspired you, gives you hope and permission, share with a friend, encourage somebody else listening to say why not today? So thanks again, Stacy. And remember, everybody say why not today?