Shay Rowbottom: Bouncing Back from a Devastating Year

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When I got the news from my investors that they didn't want me at the table anymore, it was I guess, comparable to like your first bad breakup where your heart falls into your stomach and you wonder how you're even going to get through the next day. I mean, I remember just going back to my apartment and drinking. I gave up so much in my 20s for this business and it was my baby and I did not want to let it go. But I knew that with the options on the table, it was like stay and continue to feel devalued by these men or get them to buy you out and just leave. Like take your losses. Go now.

This is Reclaim in Advance, a social impact project where we host vulnerable conversations with modern day high performers exploring the lowest points of their personal or professional life, how they recovered, and their life on the other side of hardship. My hope is that you'll realize you aren't the only one who goes through through tough times and there is a way out. Through these conversations, you'll gain inspiration from the grit and honesty of our guests and you'll learn practical tools and science backed frameworks that empower you to take on new challenges regardless of how difficult they may seem at first. So if you're ready to join in, let's get started.

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Today we'll be learning from Shea Robotom. Shea has made millions as a LinkedIn influencer and social media guru. With over 600,000 followers on her personal LinkedIn profile, she's one of the most well known voices on LinkedIn when it comes to engaging and creative content marketing. As a heads up, this episode contains discussions around sexual assault, so please take care while listening or feel free to skip to another episode. Shay, how are you today?

I'm good, thank you for having me here.

I am. I think it's amazing we're even chatting because I followed you on LinkedIn for years and been impressed with your content. Not just the structure of it, but just the boldness you have in your content. And I think too many people, especially on a platform like like LinkedIn, when they post content, what they're really saying is I just want everyone to agree with me. I want a lot of people to agree with me. I want a lot of comments, likes, and therefore build my brand. Whereas you're not afraid to have dissenters. Right. And people just, you know, don't agree with you and whatnot because you believe in your message so much. And I disrespect that a lot. But let's hop into who you are. Do you mind giving us some background information here? Who is Shea?

Yeah, sure. Thank you so much for that, by the way, Terry. I appreciate it. And yeah, who am I? That's the million dollar question these days. Honestly, I'm really figuring that out. But what I can answer is who I've been. Full transparency. I am changing a lot, but I'm known for and really skilled at video creation. So I started out my entrepreneurial career eight years ago now as a video editor. I got jobs for large blogs online doing their video content and was able to, through my clientele, learn a lot about how to grow on social media. So I took the skillset to LinkedIn after a few years of making videos for clients and managing an editing company, and I started to apply what I'd learned to my own personal brand on LinkedIn. And it was a golden age on LinkedIn. Video was new. A lot of people with, you know, great businesses there, lots of money, but knew nothing about video. So I became the face and really took advantage of the market, positioned myself as a LinkedIn video trainer, grew a really big page on LinkedIn and collected the money. But I also realize now that I was not maturing emotionally as much as I could have at that time, which I think the money and the social media fame was disservice to me in that way. So that's why this past year, 2023 was all about me getting honest, feeling the energy for what it was, finally admitting. Okay, yes, this fame and this business on LinkedIn has been fun, but I've known for a while that there's something off about this, that it's not really me, that it's actually holding me back from something greater. So I'm gonna take a risk and just burn it down. So I shut it down last year, at least what it was. I do still have a LinkedIn training and we can talk about that. But I started to just really, really change my business, fire people, uproot everything, change my lifestyle. And I wish I could say, oh, this is exactly where I've landed and I know now that this is what I'm supposed to be doing, or this. But it's not been like that, Terry. It's really been like the more I break it down, the more I realize how much further I have to go and am faced with the realization of why I intuitively avoided this in the first place. Because there's a lot of deep healing that had to be done, and I feel that I'm still in the thick of that.

Here's what I want to do, because it's funny how alike we are in a few ways. And the one way that I want to talk about momentarily is how we're both going through an intentional transformation and we're not quite sure where it's going yet. So I want to talk about that in a moment. But first, can we go back to your past and any moments of challenge that you had in your personal or professional life that can show our listeners, like, hey, everyone goes through some shit. And when you're going through it, gosh, it must feel horrible. But there is a way out. And through the stories that we share on this podcast, people don't necessarily get the tactics all the time, but at least the vision that things can get better. So with that, I'll ask you to share whatever experience that you feel comfortable sharing.

Yeah, no, it's great. I think it's important what you're doing. And now, looking back, I think what would be really beneficial for your listeners is to hear about what happened when I was 26. I'm 31 now, so this all started about five years ago, before I blew up on LinkedIn, before I made a name for myself, a personal brand, which I am very grateful for. So let's talk about that and what really happened before I got this LinkedIn virality and blew up on LinkedIn, which really started to happen around 2019. 2020, actually, during age 26 is when I first started to really get popular on LinkedIn. But 26 was a craft shoot. I mean, I'll just. I'll go into it. So you ready for this, Terry?

I'm ready.

Okay. So my first company, I started when I was 23 in Wisconsin, where I'm from. I started it with my ex boyfriend. We were very hardworking. We did have a lot of problems, but we put ourselves into our work and were able to grow a very successful business where we distributed licensed viral clips to publishers on Facebook. And at our peak, we're doing over a billion views a month. I sacrificed a lot in my 20s to learn video editing and help this man who I was in love with to hopefully make something of ourselves, learn business, make a bunch of money. And it was a really intense time for me. And I worked like 12 to 14 hour days to build that first company. But when I was 26. So this is like three years in now. About. It was shortly after my 26th birthday. I was still living in Wisconsin running this company, and there was an incident that occurred which caused my investors to basically demote me as co founder. I was COO at the time. They wanted to, I think, demote me to creative director and take away my C suite title. It was going the route of eventually I wouldn't get paid as much as the other partners, who were all male, by the way. And this broke me, you know, like this was the start of the year 26, and I had no idea how much worse things were about to become. But ultimately when I got the news from my investors that they didn't want me at the table anymore, it was, I guess, comparable to like your first bad breakup where your heart falls into your stomach and you wonder how you're even going to get through the next day. I mean, I remember just going back to my apartment and drinking, I think whiskey or tequila by myself. So smoking weed. I smoked a lot of weed in my life. I had a rig, I was dabbing and I was like, you know, just a wreck. Like, what's going to happen to me? I gave up so much in my 20s for this business and it was my baby and I did not want to let it go. But I knew that with the options on the table, it was like, stay and continue to feel devalued by these men and continue to watch new partners come on and surpass you when you were one of the founders or get them to buy you out and just leave. Like, take your losses. Go now. And that's what I did. So it was one of those situations where I was. I was happy for the money, but I was like, really sad to leave my baby behind because I didn't feel ready. And I felt cheated. And part of why I felt cheated was because of that relationship, you know, like I had spent. I had put so much trust in this man to help him build this company, our company, and I just started to resent him as well. But I was really insecure and I didn't feel like I could leave him. We were both very attached. So that was the beginning of age 26. And I'm born in October. Okay, so this was about like November, December, December, like the first two months of this age. I was dealing with the rejection from my own business, my investors, the buyout process, and literally saying goodbye to about 30 employees in the Milwaukee office at the time, many of who I managed, you know, and trained and grew close with. And then about a month or so after the new year, my ex resigned. He was also not happy there, so we were still together. But as you can imagine, through this business breakup, like, there was. There was a lot of tension. I started to really resent him. I felt like, you know, I gave all this up for you. You said this would work, and now I'm, you know, what am I going to do? So I took the check. Me and my ex, after he resigned, moved to Miami, which is also a huge change. Being a Midwest girl, my whole life living in Wisconsin. And so by March 1, we were in Miami. We were getting ready to start our next business together. And it was kind of like, okay, here we go again. Get the computers. Let's hustle. Like, hustle. Culture turned on. Let's grind startup mode like this. And something just really didn't sit right with me. I was like, I cannot do this all over again with this man. Like, this is. This is horrible. Like, yes, I got paid and I got the experience, but I. I knew deep down that I needed him, and I hated it, and I wanted out. And we fought constantly. It was a really toxic relationship. So shortly after I moved to Miami, I met a man who told me about ayahuasca. And it was not really of that much interest to me. It was more of, like, okay, maybe like, you know, I. I actually remember my ex getting the number for the shaman, not me. Like, he was more interested than I even was. And I was like, yeah, whatever. But God works in mysterious ways. And I do believe that that series of events shortly after coming to Miami happened for a reason. Because it wasn't more than a few weeks later, about a week or two into April. And this would have been 2019. So, like, a week or two into April, 2019, you know, fresh into Miami. We've been there, like, a month, right? And we got in this blowout fight again. Me and my ex, we got in another fight, and it was like, I can't go on like this. Like, all this fighting, this toxicity. But something different happened that time with that fight, which was he said to me, why are you such a victim? And, Shay, you can't take responsibility for anything. And what's interesting is he had said that to me many, many times in our arguments. What was different about this time was I finally. I got it. Like, I saw what he meant, and for the first time, I just finally was like, you're right. I am like, why am I like this? I'm such a victim, and I can't take responsibility, and I blame you for everything. And I'm stuck here in this relationship that I hate, but I resent because I feel like I can't do anything without you. But, like, you're mean to me, and, like, I just got kicked out of this company I built with you for you. Like, oh, it was just, like. It all just came crashing down on me. And I was like, I'm gonna go do that ayahuasca. And he was like, what? Like, he wasn't even ready for it. But I was like, yeah, no, that's it. I'm gonna go. Like, I had my question. I was so 100%, yes, aligned, like, in my whole body. I just knew, like, everything was crumbling apart. I was a total addict, smoking weed every day. I was completely codependent on this man. My life was a wreck. And I was just like, no. The one thing I know for sure is I need to go do that medicine. And I didn't know a lot about it, and I know that ayahuasca is overwhelming and scary for a lot of people. And I'm not going to say that I wasn't scared. It was just, like, I was so ready for it because I was at the point of wanting to kill myself anyways. So how is this psychedelic, like, really going to, like, scare me? Like, whoa, I'm gonna die. Who cares? I want to die anyways, so because I was in that mental state, I was in a really good place to receive this medicine because I was so surrendered. And I got there, and the shaman asked, you know, what's your question? What's your intention? And I just straight up said, why am I such a victim? Like, what? Why am I like this? Help me. And I took the medicine. I remembered being molested as a child. And that was the start of me really realizing a lot about why I was the way I was, why my family was the way they were, and why I had, at age 26, attracted this whole experience with this man and why I felt like I needed him, why I was so, you know, helpless. So as you can imagine, the overwhelming, like, experience of, how could I have forgotten this? Like, this makes no sense. I mean, it makes perfect sense. But, like, how did I not see this or remember this at all? Because it's really not just the memory. The. It's not just, like, sexual abuse. It's really not just that. I would say equal part of it is the realization that the human mind can do this. I can, I can repress like half my whole childhood. How is this even possible? Like, what? I don't know if we can swear on here, but what a mind bug. So, like, I'm now back in Miami with this, like, narcissist, this like, crazy guy who's just driving me nuts. And I'm starting to see him differently. Like, I'm like, wow. I just don't think that I can live with this man. Like, he's so, so angry. I need serious healing. I was disconnected from my family, I had no friends. Like, was completely isolated in this relationship with this man and in a brand new city where I knew no one. So, long story short, I decided after a few months, yeah, I gotta move out. But I didn't break up with my partner at the time. And we were still trying to build a second business together. But I knew, I said, I gotta, I gotta get my own space. Like, I. I'm gonna get my own apartment. And I think he intuitively knew that I was trying to pull away, but, like, I was still so attached. I was very dependent on him. I did not believe I could do anything without him. Definitely not start my own business. I think that I was willing to risk it at that point. I was willing to, you know, lose the business acumen and go back to waitressing and whatever because I just. After the ayahuasca, I just knew, like, I need a serious life change. So I entered into this personal development program in South Florida. So that. So, so we've got. Let's do a quick, like, recap in this story. Yeah, the end of year 26 is like the first two months. Demoted from my own company, had to leave. Then it was like month 3, 4, 5 of the age 26 is where I moved to Miami. And then I tried ayahuasca and I got my memories back of being abused. So that's all in a six month period. The demotion and then the memories. And by the way, I definitely also give credit to the situation with my first business. It was like through that business experience, I started to like, feel in my body so betrayed and wounded. Like it really wasn't just about the business. Right. And then insert a few months later, Ayahuasca got the memories back. Okay. Now a few more months go by. I'm on month, like probably 9 or 10 of age 26, and there's some good things happening. I'm starting to find my grounding in Miami. I'm like doing all this, like, healing, personal development, but I still live with the ex, I hadn't gotten my own apartment yet. And I entered into this personal development program with him that, you know, I realize now was very, like, culty. And they had a lot of ways of doing things that were not good for someone like me who had that much trauma going into the program. But it's like, during the program, I'm looking for my own apartment and I'm getting ready to move out. During that program, we also met a girl that we both became friends with, and I didn't know, but during the program, he started an affair with her. Yeah. So then it was shortly after I found out and he told me he was leaving me for her. And it was all within the same, like, two weeks that I was, like, searching for my own apartment, getting my own apartment, moving out. So really just like a very intense case of codependency. But it was very hurtful. And there was a lot of really, just really, I'll say there was negligence done by that community, that personal development community around this whole situation. There was a complete lack of empathy and professionalism, even for my situation. But it was like that. The way that I was treated in that community after the affair and everything was really, really traumatizing and hurtful. And that was all right before my 27th birthday. So.

How does it feel? First of all, thank you for sharing that, because.

You're welcome. Yeah, thanks for listening. You're a great listener.

Well, this is a story that needs to be told, and I don't need to interject, and I applaud you for even being able to share that. I have a question, and you can punt this one or you can reply, but did your family know about the child abuse? And if so, how has that impacted your ability to communicate with them? Because if you're breaking up with your boyfriend, he's cheating on you, you need some kind of support system. And I'm wondering who that was. Was it your family? Was it, you know, some other friends you had? Was it nobody? Like, what did that look like in that. That dark period of time?

Yeah, it's a really good question. So, you know, it's interesting because I already, before age 26, was really not that close with my family. And I knew intuitively from a younger age, like, something off about these people, I gotta get away from them. Granted, I attracted a boyfriend just like them, but that's how we do until we figure it out, right? But, yeah, so, like, I was. I was not in a place of my life already the year prior of, like, leaning on My family for support, but the abuse was my family. So that is also where, you know, my separation from them became very solidified after the ayahuasca. Because then I was like, oh, yeah, no, I get why I was like, I feel like I got to get away from these people. Like, I know they're my family, but, like, something's off about them. Then I got the memories. Then it was confirmed, and I even more so distanced myself. Actually, a lot of. I had a lot of fear of my family at that time because I was reliving, like, the childhood memories where when you're a child, you fear the adults, right? So, like, I had a lot of irrational fears about the people that raised me coming, like, finding out that I had remembered and, like, coming to kill me. I had nightmares. So, yeah, like, when he. He was really a lot of, like, all that I had. He was. But I also knew that he was no good. And after the ayah started to realize he wasn't really about this healing journey, he didn't really want to go on it with me. So when we broke up and he left me for this girl in the program, the people in the program, like, became my support, but they were not really supportive. In hindsight, looking back, it was, like, very weird. Almost like voodoo. Because a lot of what you learn in the spiritual community and in personal development is, like, own everything, you know, like, everything is your fault, and, like, you attract everything. Now, I'm not saying that that isn't true, but there's a time and a place in someone's, like, healing journey where they're ready to receive that information. So it was just really inappropriate. And what happened was, like, because I was new in Miami, I didn't have support. This community was, like, my only support I got. My, like, brain was trying to adapt to the situation, and I basically just shoved a lot of the relationship into a box and, like, didn't bring it up again and pretended like I healed and then started to blow up on LinkedIn, by the way, and got all this money and fame. And, like, that was a great distraction. But I realize now, in hindsight, the reason that I did that is because I didn't really feel like I could process what I'd been through with the community. And that's, like, where I'm at today is really unwinding and reprogramming my brain to actually heal, to actually process everything. And I think it's a gift from God. Like, I learned a lot in those communities, in the personal development. Like, I got A lot of resources on my tool belt I'm grateful for. But in the end, God's like, you gotta heal this, Shay. You only. So, my support, to answer your question, like, yes, I had people along the way, and I'm grateful for that. But really, my support has been God.

I need to give you a break, because I'm just, like. I'm asking a lot of very sensitive questions, and you're very, very generously answering them. But I don't want this to ever turn into a show where I'm just pulling out the worst moments in someone's lives and just for entertainment. So I want to talk about something I'm experiencing right now, and it's related to you. On one of your hands, you have a ring that has a fleur de lis. Am I. Am I correct about that?

Yes. Yeah.

So my family. Part of my family is from New Orleans, and that's very important to us. And my brother has one of those tattooed on his arm. And unfortunately, he passed away two months ago. So as I'm talking to you and I'm seeing that, I feel like this is where I'm supposed to be having these conversations, because I've suffered other losses in my life. I told you earlier, I lost my son, I lost my father, I lost my grandfather, all within the last eight years. And I've always tried to just kind of move forward as fast as possible, but what I'm doing now is instead of trying to go around it, I'm trying to go through it. And your ring is just reminding me, like, this is part of going through it. So I. I'm. I've always had a bet. I'm like, who's gonna be the first person to cry in the show? Hopefully, it won't be me. But I'm. Right now, I'm having this experience, and I want to thank you for that, because these are the conversations people need to have when they're going through some shit. And unfortunately, they don't always have that support or they get the wrong support where someone's like, oh, get over it. Or like, oh, what'd you do to bring this on? So I just want to say thank you for this experience I'm having right now. And I know already our listeners are getting a lot out of it, too, but when I saw that ring, I was like, this is supposed to happen. So thank you for that.

Thank you for sharing. Yeah, that's God. And that's God working through me and through you in this conversation. And what I've learned On my healing journey, really this past year is where I finally got sober and started to process. Everything that happened at age 26 is like when we can still our mind and clear everything out, get rid of the drugs, get rid of the distractions, like the social media, the fame. That was like a big thing for me. My own self obsession is like, there's a supernatural world that's trying to come here, and it's trying to come down and communicate with us, just like this ring. But because of the way of our culture and the lifestyle that we've created, were not present enough to see it, to feel it, to trust it, to be with it. And more than anything this past year, that is what I have realized is, whoa, like, God has been trying to speak to me all along. There's signs, there's safety, and I just have to trust. I have to let go of trying to control my own life, trying to control my self image and create all of these boundaries around me to not feel the pain and the suffering of what I have gone through.

So I'll share something else because I think again, we're just. We're on this journey. We both don't know where we're going, but there's clues sometimes that we're going in the right direction. And I'll share this with you. When my brother died, I just stopped talking to people. Like, I don't, like, text is. I don't text as much unless it's important. Like, I'm not texting back and forth. Like, I don't have all these additional conversations going on that aren't in front of me. Like, right in front of my face. And that alone is helping me focus more. There was a study from Stanford, I believe, that said, like, at 40, 47% of the time, we're just not paying attention. And that. That. That wandering mind causes unhappiness. So on my end, I just blocked out a lot of distractions. Like, I read Essentialism over the. Over the holiday break and. And just bl of distractions. I've been a lot happier than I ever have been. And then my niece came to visit too. My brother's daughter. You know, she lost her father. I'm like, ty, how are you? She's like, I'm actually doing okay because I'm blocking out all the noise and something else that's happening. Shay. I live here in Brooklyn. As I'm walking around the neighborhood, I'm just seeing, like, beauty everywhere. Like, oh, it's a wonderful building. Like, that's a cool looking tree, like, but I've walked by that same building hundreds of times, walked by that same tree hundreds of times. So it's like there. To your point, there's something else that we can experience if we block out the bullshit. And the sooner we identify what that bullshit is, I think the more focused will be, the more happy we'll be and we'll have the, the fuel and the focus to continue on the journey. Everyone has these dreams, like, I want to do this and that, but it's like you can't do that with all these distractions. And I think the worst distractions are distractions disguised as opportunities. Because I guarantee people are still reaching out to you saying, shay, we got this new TV show, Shay, we want you to be this influencer for this. Shay, we want that. No, right now you're like, nah, dude, I gotta sit here and sit with this. And I commend you for that.

Well, I'm glad that you said that because that's a good segue into something else I wanted to make sure to share before we wrap up, which is like, I did take about a year and some change off of podcasts, speaking appearances, everything. I mean, I just started saying no to everything. Like, I was like, I, I can't, there's something like just so wrong about this brand. Like, I, I'm, I'm sorry. Like I, I started saying no. And what it is and what I've processed and what I'm still processing is I was for those years blowing up on LinkedIn and getting all the podcasts and the speaking engagements and the social media fame and like business, celebrity connections. Like, it was like, it swept me away. But remember, this all started around age 27, which was I was coming off the year of like excess trauma that I did not know how to process. And then I was gifted with all of this fame and all of this money. So I really dove into ego, like all in. I mean, I was extremely egoic. And I started to become self obsessed as a way to cope and again distract myself from the pain and the shame and the despair and the heart wrenching everything that I had been through from childhood until now. So it was like another form of addiction where I got addicted to myself, I got addicted to my brand and I got addicted to how people were viewing me. So I started to become aware of those things. It was like, why am I doing this? Why am I watching, like, who's watching my story? Why am I listening to myself? Why am I watching my own video? Why am I. And Then it's been a really interesting experience being on this podcast because I have been going through months of being shown firsthand, like a front row seat to the voice in my head. And when I say the voice in my head, I'm not just talking about ego, which we all have that, but I'm specifically talking about a voice in my head that I was not conscious to before, that plans what she's going to say, that rehearses how she's going to sound in interviews that is basically just future casting, like a idealized version of herself that she would like others to perceive, receive. And I started to. Like I said, I got sober, gave up all substances, really don't have friends, really don't hang out with anyone anymore. It's just me and God and like, okay, I'm finally. I need to deal with this trauma. And it's created so much clarity in my head. I can hear this voice. And then more recently, the past three months, I did two months straight of hyperbaric oxygen therapy in a hard chamber, which basically just exacerbated the whole process. And that voice became even more apparent. So my days are filled with this, like, endless redirecting of hearing the voice go off and having my true self, who is the observer of the voice. Right. Because we're not really the voice. Like, I'm no longer identifying with that. I'm just seeing it. And so now my true self is just constantly redirecting and saying, nope, you don't need to. You don't need to plan what you're going to say. Nope, you can just. And so what this comes down to, Terri, and what is ultimately the beautiful part of this healing journey is learning and trusting the present moment. That's it. That's all we have. What you've been doing with that voice, Shay, and what you've been running from your whole life with smoking weed and addictions, and everything is like, you haven't trusted the present moment. You haven't felt okay in your body. Your nervous system has been shot. Like, you've just been running with PTSD your whole life. Basically, like complex C ptsd. And now I'm curious what my career and what my life is going to look like because I built such a huge brand with that voice. And that voice is not really me. And I don't want to identify with it anymore because it was driving me crazy and it was causing me a lot of anxiety, and I'm just taking it one day at a time. But, yeah, your podcast is actually one of the first ones I've been on since this whole realization about my own narcissism and my healing journey. So thank you for holding space.

Well, thank you as well, Shane. And here's how I know we're both going to be okay. One of my. One of my buddies, one of my mentors, he says, whenever you're going through a transition, you got to write down what you're willing to do. Become, experience, learn, and sacrifice. And if you can do that, you can make it through that transition. But where people get stuck is they don't want to sacrifice. However, you and I have already made sacrifices, so we've already solved the toughest part of it. Right. And now we just have to focus on the other parts. And there's no. There's no rush either. Right to your point. The current moment and. And enjoy it. We can move forward from the past. We can enjoy the present and prepare for the future. But this has been great for me, too. So I appreciate you.

Yeah. Thank you for sharing your story. I'd love to catch up with you another time, too. About your brother and everything you went through the past eight years with your eight years, you said, right? Where you lost everyone. Yeah. That's crazy. And all men.

Yeah. Like, four generations of men in my family just wiped out. And it's. It's. It's tough, you know? I mean, right now is good. Like, right now, this current moment, I'm enjoying. And that, like you said, that's what we have.

Exactly. I think what I'm learning more than anything is, like, this ability to be present with the pain and feel the suffering and feel the shame and feel the sadness, and it's really a lot of grief I'm realizing that I never went through. Like, when you finally take that first step to, like, put down the drugs, put down the social media and, like, really go into the pain, it gets easier. And I think you start to build neural pathways in your brain where you're like, oh, wait a minute, I did it. I didn't die. Like, I'm safe. Like, I could do it again. And you start to actually experience the benefits of fully processing things moving through your body and coming out the other side. Like, oh, I actually feel better. Wow. I actually cried. I haven't cried in years. Like, that probably needed to come out, you know? So it's like my new addiction is honoring the pain. Okay. I need to honor the pain. I need to honor the suffering. It's not going to be easy. And that's what I remind myself of every day I wake up and I still think about it. Like, should I go start dating? Should I smoke weed? Should I smoke a cigarette? Should I? It's like eating is another big one for me. Like, should I go have a cookie? It's like, you're gonna feel the pain. That's it. Like, there's no other way around this. You're gonna feel it. Whether you get addicted to eating sugar and become obese, you're gonna feel the pain that way of being overweight, or you're going to feel the pain this way of just being present with what's coming up. So just trust it. And I'll just end with this quote, which I recently heard, which I love, which has also been definitely something I've realized the more and more I give up. Substance is like, if you want to know why you do something, stop doing it.

I like that. Yeah, I like that.

Yeah. You'll find out quickly.

Oh, wow. Well, Shay, this has been incredible. I can't thank you enough. I mean, this is meaningful for me. It's meaningful for our listeners, and I'm glad that you got value out of it as well. So thank you for that.

Absolutely. My pleasure. Thank you for listening to my story, and I'm grateful.

And that's our show for today. And if you're looking for more tools and tactics to help you level up and overcome setbacks, head over to Terryrice co Reclaim, where you'll gain access to two free resources. The first is the High Performance Playbook, where I share my top performance techniques. You'll also gain access to to the Forge system, a program that gives you the framework to create a powerful vision for your life and the daily habits needed to make it happen. And if you're interested in joining the Reclaim and Advance movement, here are a few ways to get involved. First, subscribe and leave a review. This is the best way for us to spread the word to new people. Second, if you have a favorite takeaway from this episode, please take a screenshot and share your takeaway on Social. Tag me at its Terry Rice so I can see it and share as well. And lastly, this one's pretty simple. Just do one random act of kindness. It doesn't matter how big or small, but this is your chance to start a ripple effect that can have a positive impact on those around you, including yourself. And remember, success is not final. Failure is not fatal. It's the courage to continue that counts. I hope you'll continue on this journey with me and I'll see you next time. Reclaim in advance is hosted by me, Terry Rice. Megan Dome is our managing director, and our editor is Dan Lardy. Thanks for listening.