Here’s the Secret: Even Coaches Don’t “have it all together.”

23 Sept 2025 · 2 min

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2:00

In this solo monologue, the speaker—who coaches on mindset, boundaries, and neuroplasticity—debunks the myth that coaches have everything together. She emphasizes that even experts experience mental loops, triggers, and self‑judgment. By consciously honoring these “hot mess” moments and learning to laugh at herself, she releases tension and reduces the need for perfection. She explains how judgment often stems from the belief that one must have everything figured out before moving forward, which is the opposite of how the body learns safety and calm through setting boundaries. The talk highlights the importance of self‑compassion, allowing oneself to back off from harsh self‑criticism, and using humor to foster lightheartedness while making progressive changes. Ultimately, she models a practice of acknowledging humanity, setting boundaries, and cultivating self‑compassion to support personal growth.

Chapters

You might think somebody that coaches on mindset or is a coach about boundaries and thinking and neuroplasticity has it all together. I'm here to tell you the exact opposite is true. But the difference is I honor the hot mess that my brain goes through. I honor when I start spinning. I honor when I start looping. I honor when I start getting triggered or activated or upset. And I'm laughing about it now because every time it happens, I have to Remember that I too am human and I tend to judge my journey harshly. I tend, all of us do, right? Like you wanna be somewhere else or you think you should be further along or you think that something should be easier than it is. The exact same thing happens for me. One of the big secrets about that is that when I can learn how to laugh at myself or laugh at that I'm trying to control things or I'm a toddler going my way, it needs to be my way. And if it's not, I get frustrated. Being able to laugh helps me release a lot of that tension. So the judgment piece is really the idea of something should be different, or I should be doing something differently, or the overthinker's paradise, which is I have to have it all figured out before I can move forward or change things. The exact opposite is true. Our bodies will learn and teach us what we need to feel to feel safe, what we need to do to set a boundary, which also calms our nervous system and how we can learn how to find self-compassion and even lightheartedness with the humanity and the mistakes. And aren't we adorables that we do these mistakes? Being able to allow ourselves to back up off of our own grill allows each of us, including myself, to make changes going forward. So yes, I do judge my journey harshly. I do think I should be further along or better at something. But every time I realize it, I let myself go and I back off. And then I can make some changes or do what I need to do.