OneWorld Interview Molly Bloom with Theresa

on a littler guy, and all scrawny of me is like, stop it! Leave him alone! You come after me! And I stood up to this bully from out of nowhere. And I believe that in, in my innate essence, I was a protector. And it hurt my heart to see people struggling.

Mm-hmm.

But it hurt my heart worse And yes, hurt people hurt people, to see someone else purposely causing harm. Now, cut to right after college, I end up studying martial arts. It's a natural fit. I was a geeky child.

Why did you go into martial arts?

I'm a hyperachiever.

OK.

Because I think that Mr. Miyagi is the coolest person on the face of the planet.

Hyperachiever.

Hyperachiever. So I love— it's like I want to get things. I want to learn things. I want to do things. I have— and even if it's to like perform or get attention or as a kid, I was always very hyper, hyper-energy, hypersensitive. And always wanted to figure things out, which carried into right before my brain injury too, or after. So it's kind of like you get props for doing things.

Yeah.

And where did I end? Hyperactive, hyperdrive, yes. And I was a really, really smart kid. I mean, like, Mensa smart. So my brain was my jam, but I didn't always know how to apply it, if that makes any sense. It's like you can memorize information, you can do really well on tests, but then trying to figure out how to study or how to learn, I had to teach myself all that. So I think martial arts— I thought Mr. Miyagi, I saw him When I was a little kid, I think I saw Karate Kid, and here was this dude who's so funny and irreverent and cool but could also, like, defend against all the bullies in the world. He kind of became my internal hero. Me too.

Yeah, I never even thought about it like that, but he is such a resonant figure because— but he was also kind and principled, but like if anyone messed with him, right? Like, yeah, so it was this, it was this like compa— it was like fierceness but with compassion.

It's cool.

So, so you studied martial arts and, and, uh, what was— and that was— I'm sorry, you started After college or in college? What was the timeline on that?

After college. I was—

after college.

After, after college. Right after college. I stumbled into a studio.

And what were you studying? What was the plan? What was the mission?

Math?

What did you want to be when you grew up? What'd you study in college?

I wanted to help people access their potential, and I, I didn't know how that was supposed to work. So I studied psychology, communication, social work. I ran a crisis hotline and business and marketing. And I, I knew all of the pieces that I wanted. I just had no idea how they were gonna Show up.

How long did it take you to graduate college?

Um, okay, 6 years. What are you, my mother? My whole family laughed because they're like, are you graduating yet? Are you graduating yet?

I'm glad I'm not your mother, girl, and had to pay for that education.

Oh no, I got loans, girl. After the first year, After the first year, I spent way too much money and my parents were like, you're getting loans. We'll, we'll get you a place to live and cover expenses. You're getting loans. So I did. Hey, yeah, in the background.

Hello.

That's Devin.

Um, okay, cool.

So when did the car accident happen? Can you go— can you tell that story?

Hello.

Yeah, so I Whatever happened, I owned a martial arts school, which was weird because I don't look like your, like, you know, typical, like, yo, what's up, you want some of this? That's not me. Um, so I owned a martial arts studio. I was a 4th degree black belt. And one day out of the blue, some dude ran into me, hit my car, I hit my head, I ran into a curb, and then I ended into a brick wall. Um, the equivalent is like 6 concussions at one time because it's bonk, bonk, bonk, bonk, bonk, bonk. So I came out of it. I had a near-death experience during it, so I don't even remember hitting the wall, thank God. Um, and was kind of told that I wasn't done yet. So I came back and I had a freaking brain injury. And now keep in mind, my brain was my jam. I figured things out. I knew how to do stuff, but I was kind of left like, am I crazy? Am I insane? Why can't I remember anything? What are all these happy little things? Like, I was out of it. I thought I was crazy for a while. And yes, contrecoup traumatic brain injury. So you get brain damage on one side, bounces to the other.

I mean, and then something transpired that like— and then something transpired with the treatment that the doctor advised, which completely blew my mind. It was 18 months of no stimulation, right?

Dude. So you know how we're all in— You know how we're all in lockdown, or we're in lockdown or whatever? So I went to the doc, finally went to the doctor, and the doctor said, you need to cut everything out. And I said, what's everything? Lights, music, computer, reading, TV, movies, anything sound and stimulus-wise, you need to stop it all. And I ended up in that for 18 months. My own little, like, Crazy cocoon bubble.

So you, alone with your thoughts, isolated in like quarantine on steroids. I mean, truly, like almost like solitary, right?

It was, it was, uh, yeah.

In your talk that I listened to, you You talk about, okay, so now it's you alone with your thoughts, no stimulation. Let's— take me through that. Take me through like the shock of it, the, you know, the sort of grief of it, how you adapted and what you came out of that with.

Well, I think the first part of freaking out was that I had created a life where where the way that I garnered my own value was by giving back. So, I was a coach, I was a trainer, I was a mentor, I was helping people, and that gave me a feeling of having value.

Mm-hmm.

When that was gone, my first, like, breakdown, I'm bawling, and I'm like, how do I even matter? What? And I got this really clear message in my head, that said, you have value just because you are. You don't have to do anything. All my life, I kept feeling like I had to do things to either prove something. I don't even know who I was proving things to.

Right.

But I set up my life that way. And so, there were times when I felt a little bit crazy, a lot crazy. So, think about your memories also create your sense of self. What if that was all wiped clean in an instant? Good thing, like, you can start from fresh. Creepy thing, like, who the hell am I? Who do I want to be? Who am I at my essence? So there was— and there was also a lot of pain. I had PTSD. I would wake up in the middle of the night, 2 or 3 times a night, thinking someone was coming to kill me.

They weren't.

I had an endocrine disorder. I put on like 40 pounds in 5 weeks. Like, all of a sudden my body just went protection. I had ADD, ADHD, depression, and anxiety. And I went from this pretty functional, like, peak performer to literally every mental diagnosis you could probably look at. I was like, I was a bingo card, man. I was a bingo card of brain stuff.

So how did you get through it? Did you use medication? Did you use meditation? I mean, what's the process?

So after 5 months of not sleeping and starting to get a little, I guess, paranoid and hyper, my body was on fight or flight. I was in fight or flight. For over a year. And so finally the doctor's like, will you take drugs now? Because I was all, no, I'm going to do it organically. I'm going to take every supplement. I'm going to, you know, do this myself. I'm going to figure out— I'm going to science the crap out of this. I'm going to figure this out. And finally they put me on an antidepressant and an anti-seizure med. And the anti-seizure med was like Dude, made me sleep so well.

Yeah.

But I was doing CBD oil. I tried over 40 different healing modalities. I even had ear acupuncture. It didn't work for me. It doesn't mean it doesn't work. I even did the healing with horses thing. All I—

yeah, equine therapy.

Yeah, didn't work. Like nothing was working and I was like trying so hard and I had to just Chill and let my body heal. Yes, Topamax iPhone person. I was on Topamax. So the, the drugs, the supplements, the quiet time, the meditation, and kind of being left alone with my own sense of crazy. The one thing I never lost was my sense of humor, and I just am so grateful for that. I had faith that I would heal somehow. I was going to make it through. And faith, because I had, I had humor. The whole thing was so, like, crazy to me. You don't want one concussion. You don't want one concussion, let alone like the equivalent of 6 at one time. I was a mess. I was a hot mess.

So did you— so what I'm hearing you say is you had to give time time. That's the first thing. Yeah.

Make me so mad as a person who's a doer. And like, I'm gonna figure this out. I'm gonna find a way to heal this brain injury. I was like, I can't. I just have to be with it.

This sucks.

Right. And then also, did you have a support system? Did you have a community? Did you have family?

I do. I have friends, a lot of very supportive friends. But people would ask me, what do you need? Like, I freaking don't know what day of the week it is, or I don't remember half the people in my head. I don't know what I need. So I started having to learn. I remember I told one friend, she's like, can I get you anything? And I'm like, I don't think I have any meat. I don't even know why I was like, I'm— and I was, I was trying to eat low carb. And I was like, I need meat. So she went to Safeway or someplace, bought a bunch of frozen meat, and I And filled my freezer, but I couldn't figure out— people would offer to help, but I didn't know what I needed.

And so was it during this time that you kind of got the download or came to the realization about the inner bully? Because I listened to that talk and there was a lot of really interesting insights, and I'm not sure at what point that sort of became clear to you.

So, I've been teaching about self-defense for the majority of my career, over 20 years. I teach self-defense, and I'm also what's called an adrenal stress training educator. So, I help people understand their adrenaline. How ironic was it that I was stuck in fight or flight?

Right.

There are no accidents, right? So, I've been teaching most of my career how people could deal with a toxic relationship externally. You know, you're in a bad relationship, or you have a toxic family member, or etc. Well, it occurred to me a few years ago, and then I actually met my inner bully during this time. What happens when the toxic relationship is in us? And I talk about that. I have a TED Talk, TEDx Talk, called The Danger of Your Inner Bully. And what if we are creating that same chemical reaction within our own thinking?

Mm-hmm.

It's kind of like, stop hitting yourself in the head. So why are you hitting yourself in the head? Why are you beating yourself up? And there's this cultural belief that we beat ourselves up to get better. We're hard on ourselves so that we can improve. And the opposite is actually true. When you create norepinephrine, adrenaline, and cortisol, they do not help us heal. It's a— it's a— Now, fear will get you from A to B really quickly. But it's not sustainable. And, and that's what hurts my heart about this time in our world is everybody's pretty much adrenalized. We are either in fight, you know, we're mad at the government, we're mad at the stuff. We're in freeze, like, oh my, I can't do anything. I'm going to just, you know, check out on social media or— I'm not saying Netflix is bad. I'm a binge watcher. But we either fight, flight, or freeze now. So the inner bully was this voice that came in my head and I'd never had, and I'll be real honest with you, I've never had a suicidal thought, but all of a sudden out of nowhere, I had this voice telling me I should off myself. First of all, who talks like that? That's not even me. And second of all, I knew it wasn't me, but where in God's name did this voice come from? That was like, people would be better off without you. You're a burden. You're broken. I was like, it was mean. And I realized that, that there, there was something going on there. When you have a brain injury—

So how did you—

Go ahead. Go ahead.

Hold on.

Keep going.

When you have a brain injury and you go to the doctor, which I had to go to all kinds of doctors, they have you fill out Paperwork that says, "Are you hearing voices?" I'd be like, "Yes, I am." And then they'd say, "Are the voices telling you to harm yourself or others?" And I would be honest. I'm like, "Yeah, it's telling me to off myself." And the doctors would be like, "Oh my God! Talk about!" And I'm like, "Hey, look, I teach suicide prevention. I'm not gonna kill myself. But this voice is mean, man. It is like not supportive, and it's telling me, you know, check out a Dodge and." So I had to acknowledge that all the time. And I made a decision at that point that during a brain injury or traumatic brain injury, 33% of people attempt or commit suicide. And my heart was like, what if it's because that damn voice is telling them there's something broken about them? And so I made it kind of my truth to make sure that I share this. And I'm not sharing it lightly. Like, if that voice is in your head, it freaking sucks, man. But I'm outing it. I'm outing the fact that I had it.

So, so you— I guess the first step was that you recognized there is this foreign voice in your head, but that strangely was still coming from you. How did you disconnect from it? How did you not give power to it? How did you move through that and not let that sort of take over your psyche, and how'd you unhook from it?

Alright, I'm gonna tell y'all, it's a crazy story. So, you know, grab your cup of tea, sit down, Master T is gonna tell you a little story. So, at first, when the voice showed up, and I can see y'all's faces, by the way, I know if you're listening, and if you're tracking or not, so, thank you. The voice showed up, and I was like, screw you, get out of my head, no way! So, I would fight it, right? I'm a warrior, I'm gonna fight you, I'm gonna beat you down! Well, after it kept showing up over and over, I realized fighting it is not going to help me. I know that if I'm in a toxic relationship with someone or something, continually fighting it is battle energy, and I didn't have the strength of the energy. So at one point, I made the choice, and I was like, when that voice showed up, it would be like blah blah blah. Yeah, you're a failure.

Blah blah blah.

Yeah, nothing's ever going to work out.

Blah blah blah.

So I gave it that kind of like, yeah, it sucks, yes, I suck, yes, I'm never gonna get better, blah, blah, blah. Because keep in mind, at this time, the doctors were not telling me I was ever gonna heal. The doctors were not saying, at this date, you will be better. They were like, we don't know, good luck, man.

Right.

You know, it was like, when your doctors start hugging you and telling you not to lose faith, that's scary.

Yeah.

So at one point, All of this stuff was happening. And I still had my faith and I still had my humor. So I kept knowing that I was still here to do something. I wanted to share this story or share how important power is. And this voice, after a while, it got kind of quiet. And then I, I did some huge thing where I screwed up. I made a big mistake somewhere, which is not unusual for me. Um, But then this voice showed up and it said, you're a failure. And it brought up all these times in my life where I'd failed at something. And, and it said, it's never going to get better. Like things like that, right? You would just be better off not here. And in that moment, knowing what I know about compassion and kindness— now this is going to freak y'all out, and I think that's a good thing. I turned to that voice with compassion and kindness. In my own head. And I said, is that really what you believe? Do you believe that about yourself? Do you not know light? Do you know God? Do you know joy? And this voice was like, uh, what?

Excuse me?

Me?

You're talking to me? And I was like, do you realize that there is light and there is life and God will accept anybody back in, whatever your version of God is? I'm not like, God is this one person. But, like, there's an accepting, compassionate part that will always accept you in. And this voice was, like, freaked out, like, uh... I don't think anyone had ever talked to it or felt sorry for it. And I said, I am really sad that you believe that about yourself. I really believe that there's another way. And this voice, like, freaked out. And then I had to ask it, because I'm a very curious person, like, where do you come from? And, you know, people, you think like, oh my God, this is the devil trying to take me down.

No.

I like sci-fi as much as the next girl, but like this voice said, I don't know light. I don't know what I am. I feel I'm like a tortured soul. I'm a tortured soul, is what it said. And, I just sent it love, and I sent it light, and I wished for it to find the light. And dude, that boy's gone.

That's very powerful. And I think it's so interesting to have this forum where we bring people from all different walks of life that have had some sort of recovery, redemption, or whatever. And although the experiences and the faith and everything are different, like, this one consistent message that we keep hearing over and over is that you gotta love yourself. And you have to have self-compassion and you have to be your own best friend. And it's been said to us by, you know, this Peruvian shaman and this meditation master and you and Bobby Brown, like the famed— and it's just the same message over and over and over again, which is we have to love ourselves. But that's so powerful because I do that thing too. I did that thing when my life fell apart where I was like, In the mirror like, you are not gonna fail!

Like going to war with this shit, like battling, you know?

And like, it's so powerful and it's so true to just be like, you just gotta love the shit out of it. Like, you gotta love the shit out of yourself, you know?

I mean, from yourselves, from your core, from your essence, you gotta love the shit out of yourself.

And we— it's just so easy to forget, you know.

Well, and I guess that's the, that's the illusion, right? And for me, the illusion was that I was broken. Dude, I am not the same. And yes, I was broken open, but I wasn't broken, right? Even though I couldn't— oh my God, I forgot my garage code. I became best friends with the guys, the locksmiths, because I kept locking myself out. And in one month I had them come 3 times. They're like, you need to— we need to do something about this. I'm like, I know, right? It's crazy. I would do things that made no sense. And it was very, very sensitive to light. And I was like, okay, I'm going to be the chick that wears sunglasses and a hat for the rest of her life. Alrighty then, I'll accept it. I have a firm belief in something I call the Princess Bride effect. There's a point where Wesley's been mostly dead all day and he says, what do we have among our assets? And they're like a wheelbarrow and a cloak and something else. And so that's kind of what I felt like.

Yeah.

Okay, my life is screwed up, but I have my, my faith. I have like— I understand power from an innate perspective, and I got my humor. I'm gonna find something to do with that.

I love that.

And that's—

God, I think that's so powerful because it's so easy to focus on the things we've lost or the things we don't have or why, why we are at a disadvantage instead of just like collecting our wheelbarrow and our whatever.

Like, let's get it going. Let's keep it moving. Well, and I teach power. So my whole shtick all my life, all my career has been all about Engaging our inner power. And when we, when we play blame or victim or, why do I have a brain injury? You know, or that jerk that ran into me. I didn't have any of that.

Right.

Because I knew that wasn't powerful. That was giving my power out to something else.

That's right.

All I had was what I could control and the way I could take it on, the way, the mindset I could have. That was— and some days, dude, I got a gold star for remembering to brush my freaking teeth. You did not when you were in the race. Some days I don't. Showers, teeth brushing. Y'all think you're wearing sweats now? I had a uniform. I had like a sweats uniform. I couldn't think about what to wear every day or whatever. So dude, this whole quarantine time, I'm like, let me tell you how to rock it. Well, you—

yeah, before I open it up to questions, can you tell us how to rock it?

Oh my God, yes.

Yeah.

Can you give us what a day in Theresa's quarantine looks like today? Well, I started doing on Facebook— I hate Facebook Live, and I teach on— I've taught on television. I teach a lot of different ways. But the idea of me going live was like, but there's no studio, there's no lighting. Screw that. When quarantine started, I started doing these Facebook Live movement videos. We have to move energy through our bodies.

Mm-hmm.

It's not about a certain size. Yes, you can do HIIT training. Yes, you can do something intense, but really it's the energy. We cannot get that energy stuck in our bodies. So I started doing in the mornings these, and my Facebook is Theresa TKD, like taekwondo, and you can just watch. They're public and they're not highly— they're boxing, a little bit of martial arts, a little kickboxing. They're very, very simple. But really, it's like to help people move. So movement helps us like get into our center every single day. Energy gets stuck. The other thing is control what you can control. I don't know if any of you can control the vaccination process, the president, if this person is good or bad, if the government is controlling a pandemic. I can't control any of that. And if I focus on it, it will drive me insane. And it will just create this fight or flee reaction. So we control what we can control. And what else can we do to give back? Like, who else can we offer assistance to? How else can we serve people? As weird and lame as I thought those movement videos on Facebook would be, I do, I do them for other people. I do them to help people, you know, get that inner warrior moving. And every single one of us can help one other person, two other people. And that helps to shift the energy that gets stuck in our bodies.

I love that.

Thank you.

Can you teach us taekwondo?

Absolutely.

Can you be our Mrs. Miyagi?

Absolutely. You know, the kids call me Master T. I had— so I owned a studio for over 20 years. After the accident, I had to release the studio, unfortunately, but I still teach, and I teach boxing and kickboxing. Yes, Molly Bloom, TKD, Tracy. But yeah, and in these little videos, I'm teaching the little tiniest, you know, it's like, they're like 5 to 9 minute videos of a little bit of taekwondo and a little bit of, you know, moving your body and energy.

Cool.

Awesome. And so did, did your brain heal?

Yeah.

Yeah. Because I do see you seem good. You seem sharp. Okay, so for the most part, I'm better. Every now and then, if the weather changes, I'll get like incredible pressure in my head. I forget stuff, but I kind of at this point. I think that if I've forgotten it, it's not important. I will have the most random— so I had amnesia for a long time, and to some degree— this is hilarious— I have emotional amnesia. And you may say, what is emotional amnesia? Because no one's ever talked about it before.

Right.

Every event in my life, good or bad, I can't remember how I felt about it. Like, I, I got divorced and And, I'm sure it was really hard. I can't remember. Literally, and my girlfriends are laughing, because one day, I woke up, and I was like, I should be friends with my ex-husband. And, they're like, no, you shouldn't. And, I was like, no, but he was a good guy, right? And, they're like, no, no, you shouldn't. You got divorced. And, I'm like, but I don't have any animosity. It doesn't feel bad. And, they're like, no! I have emotional amnesia, and that creates this really great Buddhist sense I have a sense of presence.

Yeah.

Accidental Buddhism. Accidental Buddhist. And I can't always remember the past, and I can't always, like, figure out the future. Like, I still have executive functioning stuff going on. But for the most part, like, I'm doing my heart. I'm sharing. I'm moving things forward. Now, I will say I found this amazing technology Where it actually regrows brain tissue using a laser, and it is called NeuroLaser, and it is very— y'all, I have like a $250,000 brain. I calculated everything I spent myself and through the medicine. Y'all, I am driving a Bentley up here. I should be able to remember yesterday, but I can't. So, I found a way to help regrow brain tissue. So, that did help, and I I think the last sessions I had of that was, like, last September, I think. Don't take it too far, though. Like, you want that emotional amnesia about the divorce and shit. I don't want that crap back! It's gone!

It's gone, man!

And here's the funny thing. Like, what if you could unplug from the most difficult thing in your life? I filed bankruptcy in 2003 because of the divorce. And I have no— I don't care about it. And at the time, I was full of shame and anger and like, oh my God, I'm a piece of crap. And now I'm like, I filed bankruptcy. I have no emotional context for it, which is awesome.

You got Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.

My brain says thank you.

For free.

Here's my question. If I can do it having gone through a brain injury, doesn't that mean it's possible for others of us? Doesn't that mean it can happen?

For sure. Well, Devin.

Devin.

We're going to ask Devin, the neuroscientist, my husband. Is that possible?

What, to disconnect from emotional memories?

Yeah.

Yeah, I think you can reframe eventually through a lot of work. You can change and disconnect the emotional reactivity that you have to it.

Yeah.

But I don't know if it's quite as clean break as what we're talking about here.

You just ablated that shit.

Yeah.

Devin, I have to tell you, when I— the doctors loved me because I'd be like, so here's my new thing, I have emotional amnesia. And they're like, that's not a thing. Like, and then they would check— you had to do all these neurocognitive tests, and I would be like, I have relational memory. And they're like, What does that even mean? I'm like, I have empathetic reasoning. And they're like, what does that even mean? I'd be like, you want me to work all these circles and squares, and I feel really bad for the square that has to sit on the outside. That upsets me. And they're like, that's not a thing. Like, it's emotional reasoning. It's an empathic reaction. I think it's a thing. For sure.

Yeah. Okay, so we've got a lot of questions here. So we're going to start teeing them up.

Gigi.

Oh yeah, I have a ton of questions, but I want to say something because it sparked me. So when I was little, I went in therapy and I asked the doctor that was in front of me, I said, you, you look at the brain so much, but why when you feel something, you feel it here and not here? And I just remembered that I was like 13 or something like that. So my question is, why do you have to go through a traumatic event to Get there. That's what my mind doesn't get. Like, how I look at things is I don't matter in a billion years. I'm nothing. Like, the big ego, that's how you solve it. Yeah, it doesn't matter. But can we do something so people won't get there? Like, you had a brain injury and you're like, oh yeah, but how can we do it practically every day? 1%, not a lot. Because at the end of the year, the 1% is 365%. So any practical tool that everybody can start tomorrow so we can unlock that thing in our mind? Because I, I know I hated myself, and so I've been through that, but it's a process. So yeah, that's my question.

Thank you. Great question. Uh, my— the easiest answer to say is, for the love of God, don't Don't run into anything to hurt your brain to make this different. So I do believe that there's a way to unlock limiting beliefs that are secretly hidden that we might not understand and emotional reactions. And how do we do that? We start working with our feelings. After the accident, okay, so I was freaked out because doctors told me I'd never work again or never teach martial arts. I wrote a children's book called Is There School in Heaven? And it's only available on Amazon. And in this book— I know, I know, I told you I'm a hyperachiever. Like, I'm supposed to be like in quiet time and I'm trying to write an ebook anyway. Because I was freaked out. I didn't know what my life is going to look like. In the book, one of the things I was downloaded is a feeling's job is to be felt. It's kind of in its name. What we do is we over-rationalize a feeling.

Mm-hmm.

Or we justify it. And the secret to, I think, having what I have is recognizing a feeling and then not giving it any more space than you want to. So there's a way to switch to that Buddhist part of your mind that— somebody said it in here. I can't read all the chat at one time, but That, like, amazing mind. We all have that open, amazing mind. But you have to make that decision, like, oh, I'm having this feeling. I don't like it. Breathe through it, move the energy, and then see what opens up. So, I feel like, somatically, we try to go here to figure things out. I think we need to be here more so. That's my— Molly, do you have an answer? The pain's job is to be felt. Yes, thank you. Nicole?

Oh, I think it's incredibly important to be able to be with ourselves in all our different forms instead of running from it. I mean, you know, obviously a huge part of my recovery was not numbing out. You know, I had to get sober.

My solution was, you know, Was to numb out and to run from it.

And so like, yeah, we have to be able to be able to sit with ourselves and accept ourselves. And I think, I think, you know, you're an athlete, you train, so you know that it's not just like we want to read one book and then we're good, right? It's the daily work, you know. And I think— Yeah, and I think meditation is a— I mean, I think it's a huge tool for being able to sit with ourselves and Deal with everything that comes up. Service, community.

Love, self-love.

Self-love.

I've watched the TED Talk, Inner Bully, on that TED Talk talks about how we create our own adrenal responses.

Yeah, and I think that's awesome to like break it down to science so we can understand what we're actually doing to ourselves when we just let that voice run wild. But yeah, I mean, I think creating your own sort of program Based on what works for you, and just setting reminders on your phone. Remember to check the inner voice, you know? Remember to sit down and meditate. Like, doing things that on a daily basis where we're training and retraining our mind to be more our ally.

Making friends with it.

Yeah, exactly.

And also, just quickly, I was thinking more on like the memory thing, like an interesting little note that we can all kind It's good to know as far as how memories are. Every time you remember something, what is actually happening in your brain is this process of the cell that's, you know, responsible or that holds that memory is basically deconstructed and then reconstructed. So every time you remember something, you're literally creating a new memory. And so we do have the power. There's power to go back into those old memories and do some work around it to get a less Less emotional reactivity, and then you're literally writing a new memory every time you remember it.

That's so cool.

And especially if you think about a traumatic event, which unfortunately right now in psychology we talk about an inciting event that incites people into trauma. Right now the world is in that. We are in an inciting event. It's creating— we don't have PTSD yet because we're not post. We just have the—

We just have the PTSD.

Yeah, we're post-traumatic. We're not post yet, we're in traumatic.

Just traumatic.

But if you take your, your, your amazing, brilliant, light self now and look back at a traumatic event that happened a while ago, you can shift the way you think about it. You can look at yourself differently, and especially if you go through the lens with love, love of yourself, compassion for another human being that maybe is a messed up human being. Totally, totally.

Okay, Frenchie.

Hello, Master T, how are you?

Hi, I'm good. I'm looking out for where you are.

Okay.

Yes, so I have a question.

So I've always wondered, I've always been curious, and this is just, you know, me, how, you know, different people are born into different levels of exposure and sometimes education. And they, you know, a lot of times why they can't get themselves out of certain things really is, is an exposure thing. They just don't know. And so my question is, you know, you mentioned like despite everything that you went through, you eventually were able to look at this voice. I think a lot because a lot of it was the tools that you had learned somewhere along the way. You were able to pull yourself out of it and really experience that for yourself, which I'm sure brought, um, just a new level of understanding of what it means and feels like to really get yourself out of a situation. And so how did the experience that you went through change your style of advice and coaching for people versus before versus after? I'm curious how that really changed once you were able to really do it with yourself. And because you also mentioned, you know, these doctors are giving me all these prescriptions and then they just kind of leave you there and people might be hearing all these voices and think it's them and have no idea what to do. So how did that experience transform your way of helping people?

Okay, so before the accident, I went in and I had a great desire to motivate and inspire 1 million people. It's not a bad thing, right? But every book I wrote, I wanted it to be a bestseller. Every TV show I was on, I wanted it to be top-rated. After the accident, I care about one soul. If one person is impacted from this phone call, I'm good.

I love that.

I stopped being about the expert, and I, I stopped being about, oh, I know. And I, yeah, freaking don't know. We all have our own experience. We are this essence of soul that is magical and beautiful. And I have a boatload of information and many years of coaching and training, but you know your soul. I can ask questions. I can, I can have you look at things, dude. I mean, and I was a master. I mean, I've studied martial arts for a long time. I have a background in brain stuff, psychology, and I worked with child development. I am like an open slate more so now. Yeah, I have some ideas and some exercises, but it's all you. It's your soul. So that's—

Cool.

Thanks.

Uh, Jared.

All right, thanks for being on here. You're very energetic, so I enjoy that. Um, my question— my, my question to you is, um, I've had some people in my life that have gone through traumatic brain injuries, and it seems like there's a lack of education around what traumatic brain injury is and how it changes a person and how to reintegrate them back in your life.

Mm-hmm.

Do you think we're lacking In traumatic brain injury education, communication, and everything involved?

Jared, up until 10 years ago in the medical textbooks, they weren't aware of neuroplasticity. It was believed that the brain— and Devin can talk to this more than I can— it was believed that a brain would grow to a certain space and then it would stay there. Maybe 10 years ago, maybe more now, Neuroplasticity became a thing where they understood that you could teach someone new things; they just might need to learn them differently. So the integration is once again understanding that someone who has a brain injury is different. They're not bad, and they're not worse; they're just different. And part of the journey is is figuring out who you are, who that is for you, or who that friend is for you. Doctors are so. Amazing and kind, and my doctors were wonderful, but they just didn't have the depth of what to do for so many different pieces. They're still trying to figure it out. The other piece is every single brain injury is unique. None of us are the same person. None of us have the same brain. And if you get injured, you're not always hit on the same part. And so it's almost like being curious and helping that person figure out who they are again. And then looking at different healing modalities. I went through so many, so many, and I'm happy if any of you want to reach out, if you want to ask questions about other things that work. I had so many people reach out and tell me, you need this, you need that. Have you tried this MLM? Have you tried this supplement? Have you— I had to do what worked for me. And so each person with a traumatic brain injury, they need to feel accepted because most of the time they feel crazy and broken. And what if we made crazy and broken fun? What if we looked at the light side of it? I had a girlfriend who had a brain injury, and my brother referred her to me, and she said, I hate who I am. And I'm like, well, tell me the funniest thing that's happened. And she's like, I washed my clothes in the dishwasher. That is awesome! And she's like, and I have all my dishes in the tub, and I can't remember putting them in there. And for the first time, instead of making it traumatic and heavy, we laughed. Like, what goofy, dorky thing have you done? And there's not enough lightness around brain injuries. And they're not funny, but the things you do are whack, and it's okay to be whack.

I don't know if that makes sense. No, no, it does. I just— I'm hopeful one day we educate, especially kids at the high school age, because I've seen integration back, you know, from very high achieving and popular to kids just being absolutely terrible and mean because they're— you are changed, you are different, you're not that same person. So I'm hoping that we educate more in that field at some point. So that does help, so thank you.

You're welcome, and let's start it. Let's start a movement.

You're both in, uh, You're both in Colorado and Jared's a teacher and a football coach.

Dude, I'm in Denver!

Come on!

I'll connect.

All right, I'm in Arvada.

Um, Sharon.

Hi guys. Hi, Pam.

Hi, Theresa.

It's so nice to meet you. It's so nice to meet you. Thank you.

I—

you are no way, in any way, crazy or broken. Let me just say that first off. I think you just kind of, for people who are non-medical people, I think it was kind of a gloss over of what your— of what actually happened to your brain. So As a trauma nurse, I, you know, I would be remiss if I didn't explain exactly what happened to your brain. So I take it you had north-south injury, right? Not an east-west injury?

I had them— I had here and here, here and here, and here and here. Bingo! I had 3 different impacts, so I was hit with 3 different things.

Oh!

So when I gloss over the technicalities of it, it's because it's a lot. And, you know, I'm not going to tell you about my temporal lobe unless you want me to. I'm not going to tell you about my frontal lobe unless you really, you know, you're interested. But thank you.

I expect— I expected your frontal lobe. That— I expected your frontal lobe. That wasn't it, you know, but that's called a global, you know, a global coup contre coup, and that's usually when we're going to take a piece of the cranial vault out so that the brain can expand. So what you were talking about is that we believe the brain can only stay inside its casing and it can't get bigger. It can get bigger. It can get a lot bigger. And so, you know, for you not to have a flap where your, where your cranium was open is right there is a miracle right off the bat. Dude, my head— You know, the fact that you— I, I bet, I mean, I bet, I bet you couldn't really open your eyes fully For quite a long time. I'm sure bright light was like your, your kryptonite, you know.

Glasses. So did you have a question? I am so sorry if I missed that.

Yeah, yeah, you're— my question is, it's not really a question, it's just that more of an observation, and I think that, you know, Purposely, if we look at intentions, I think for your level of energy and your level of knowledge and the fact that you're here and what you're doing is a miracle, I think that's your message. And I just think you and Jared really should get together and you should speak to teenagers because you are just— you're a miracle. You are. And I'm just blessed to have met you today.

Thank you. That was very nice.

Thank you.

And all the chat, I want to copy the chat and read it every morning. We can send it to you. I still get bummed out.

Am I here?

Am I doing my thing?

Yeah, this group is, this group is like our medicine.

Lots of love going on here. Lots of love.

Um, Mom, you're up.

Yay, Mom!

Theresa! Can you hear me?

I can.

Oh gosh, you know, you were such a light before your accident, and you're even a brighter light now. And yes, for everybody on the call, she has had this crazy sense of humor for what, the decade and a half or so that we've known each other?

I don't—

of course you wouldn't remember. Or have any emotional attachments.

I know that I love you and I don't know why and I don't know how long.

Well, just know that I love you too and everything you've said today has been really eye-opening, I think, and it's so great to see your beautiful face.

So, love. Char has a lot of the similarities of my mom. My mom always tried to keep me engaged and keep me moving and keep me And she taught me kindness. And Char, those are some of the things that you exemplify. And I just dig you. And you did a great job with your kids too, by the way.

You think?

I do.

Okay.

Thank you.

Thanks, guys.

Thanks, ladies.

Okay. We have Melissa.

Hi, Theresa. Hi.

It's like spooky. It's up. Hi, there you are.

Hi, hi, nice to meet you. I, well, I just related to so much of what you shared. Like, let's— I wanted to connect with you after this. But I really love how you said that you were like this hyper, hyper kid because oh man, I mean, even as an adult, like hyperactive hyperdrive. That's what I put in the chat before. Most of my life I've either been told to calm down or slow down.

I want some of that now. Like, I've gone to the other side where I'm like, I don't know, I don't— I like, I've lost so much of it. Caffeine doesn't even work on me anymore. So, you know.

I know, but I also related to, uh, I also related to how you said you had like multiple diagnoses, and like, I know how hard that is. Because I got like the triple header. I've got like addiction, I got PTSD, I've got bipolar disorder.

No, sorry, not bipolar.

Borderline personality disorder. I got borderline personality disorder. So I got 3. And I remember once I got the third one, I didn't even want to message my— like, I didn't even want to message my best friends that I had like another thing. I didn't tell most of my best friends about like my third diagnosis until like later on because I'm just like, I don't even know how to comprehend the fact that like within a few, like a short window of time, I already had so much. And I remember having those voices too. I remember having those voices just being like, how, how can I even start dealing with any of this, you know? And there was like a 6-month battle between medication or not medication. Because I'm like, okay, I could get addicted to the medication and I could end up in addiction again. Don't want to go down that road. But then at the same time, I'm like, How do I deal with all these things in like such a raw way and not like push away all my friends and family and like end up by myself? Um, sorry, that was super real for me to talk about.

Amen, sister. How do you—

So I like, I had this really dark— I was in this dark place for a while where I'm like, I'm probably gonna lose everyone. Like, on the journey to recover from all this stuff, I'm probably gonna lose everyone I have right now. So I'm just really— you brought all those memories back for me from sharing that, and I just wanted to thank you for that. And yeah, just thanking— thank you for showing me what I could still become even with all of these things I'm still like overcoming and recovering from. So thank you.

You're still becoming. I mean, what if normal wasn't normal? What if we were all created to be something outside, and any single one of us could go into any different diagnosis at any time? Or, you know, like, you're really struggling or stressed, and you become a little bit narcissistic. Does that make you a narcissist? No, it just makes you a little self-absorbed at a time. And, and I— my heart goes out to you, because I think there's so much heaviness to it, right? We used to call it mental illness, and now we call it mental health, but everybody knows it's not health. Like illness. And, and there's, there's so many pieces of light that we can bring to this by showing people like your story. And, and I know you said that I brought up a bunch of memories. I hope that's okay. Yeah, no, it was good.

It just, it just, it brought back memories in a good way because it reminded me that, A, I didn't lose all those people.

Right.

That was a huge thing for me. And that I was able to recover Like begin the recovery without the medication and I could do it in the raw way and still that things got better, you know, that things got better and are still getting better and it wasn't the end of the story and even though for a long time I thought it was. So you brought up the memories in like a gratitude way. So thank you, Mrs. Miyagi.

Melissa, we think you're perfect just the way you are.

Imagine that.

Yeah.

I kind of like that you got bam, bam, and bam. Interesting. But my friends though, for the most part, they're just like—

You're a connoisseur of diagnosis. I think we all are, honestly. Theresa, thank you so much for being here. Thank you for reminding us to love ourselves. And to not be our— not to be an inner bully to ourselves.

Right.

And thanks for reminding us that life isn't as serious as we tend to make it and that humor is just an incredible medicine both for ourselves and for the world. You have an incredible story and an incredible message, and I know I speak for all of us when I say that we're super grateful you came here today.

Thank you guys, every single one of you. I watched your faces and I really appreciated the feedback that you gave me and the chat. And Molly, thanks for what you're doing in the world.

Yeah, absolutely. How do we stay in touch with what you're doing? How do we get in touch if we want to? What does that look like?

I have a website. It's called therisabyrne.com. So it's my name. If you need me to spell it, I can spell it.

I gotcha.

therisabyrne.com. You can reach out to me. Reach out at me through that. I'm still teaching boundaries workshops, not really so much self-defense.

Did I spell that correctly?

Dude, you nailed it. Nicely done.

Thank you.

And also, just, I guess I would— the last thing I want to leave you guys with is, what's one thing you could back up off yourself? Like, what is one thing you're so hard on yourself that you could just chill out? out on? And start with that. Make that your 1% every day. Like, what can I just chill out on for myself? Really, it's about mental fitness, right? It's about mental— it's about being as mentally fit as we can. And I just want to thank each of you guys for making a step towards that.

Thank you so much. We hope you'll come back and teach us Taekwondo, and energy work, and emotional amnesia. That's what I really want to learn.

Oh my God, I would so love that. And if you haven't noticed, I'm terribly energetic. It's just— so you have superpowers, right? One is my— mine is energy, and one is power for me. And I'm just like, yes, I want to help the people and teach them things. So, thank you guys.

Thank you all.

Thank you. Thanks, everyone. Love you all.