In this 2015 motivational monologue, Theresa Byrne uses the metaphor of dragons to represent the various fears that inhabit our minds. She argues that unnamed, unacknowledged fears lose their power when we call them by name, “tame” them, and even treat them as friends—taking them out for tea. Byrne enumerates a wide range of common fears—procrastination (linked to fear of success), fear of failure, fear of rejection, vulnerability, body‑image concerns, phobias (heights, spiders, snakes, drowning, flying), fear of the unknown, fear of being alone, and fear of losing credibility or becoming a “bag lady.” She stresses the importance of not confronting these dragons alone, recommending light, supportive friends, and a compassionate attitude. Throughout, she repeats that naming, acknowledging, and befriending fears reduces their harmful influence, turning them from dangerous “dragons with bad breath” into approachable companions.
Chapters
We must be aware of the dragon. You call the dragon by name, Charlie, and the dragon loses power. Nice. Dragon is fear. Dragons are friendly. You can tame them. You can take them out for tea. But you have to be able to call them names. When fears live unassorted and unaccounted for in your head, they're dangerous. I always say, don't go into your head alone. It's a dark and scary place. Take lights or friends. Seriously, if you're in a crisis, don't go in by yourself. You don't want to do that. So unaware of fears that live in the background. Procrastination. How is procrastination related to fear? Fear of success. Fear of success? Not stepping in power? Failure? What if I make the wrong choice? I will get kicked out of the tribe. Procrastination. And that's something That's something. But you don't think of it as a fear, right? But now I'm trying to get you guys to go, ah, make friends with fear. I tame the dragon. I take the dragon out for tea. We talk. We understand each other. Public speaking, looking like a fool, that is not one I have. I have had it, but I do not have it. Dying, because that is— Such a death. Losing loved ones because then you're alone. Tribal. Uncertain death. Failing. Succeeding. Isn't this funny? We're afraid of failure, we're afraid of success. Damn, I can't win either way. Expectations of others. Rejection. Abandonment. Disappointing others. Fear of the unknown. Anyone else have the fear of the unknown? Yes. And it's not even like, if it was magic unknown, I'd be so happy there. But it's like fear of something you've never done before, fear of something that you don't know how it's supposed to look or where it's going to go or how it's going to be. That creates a lot of fear for people. Heights, spiders, snakes, drowning while flying. Wait, no, I have a comma. Drowning, comma, flying. Being not enough, being completely open. Vulnerability is scary. 'Cause what happens if you be vulnerable? Certain death. Certain death. Shit, that's not where I was going. Apparently, if you're on this side of the room, you die. Be smiley at her. Don't let on that you're afraid. That's— she smell fear. Being completely open is scary because when we're vulnerable, we face the rejection, we face the expectations of others because we may not be the same. Being a bag— anybody have a bag lady fear? Yes. Right? Like losing everything, which seriously is the weirdest fear because you know you have friends, not me, that will let you crash on their couch. So being a bag lady, not being liked, losing credibility, being wrong, being transparent or vulnerable in romantic relationships because what happens if they don't like you? Certain death. Certain death, losing, being authentic, having commitment, being alone, powerless. I know a lot of women and men even that fear getting fat. Like, will work out obsessively not because they love it and because they're like, I love the elliptical, I am so good on the treadmill, you should see me, but because they have a fear about it. And if you love it, I'm all for it. And I, you know, our body is a temple, man. We've got one body. We have to take care of it. But that whole fear thing of not being good enough or not looking good enough, not being right or having judgment— apparently spellcheck not working. Not me, because I wasn't wrong, because I didn't be wrong. Not doing it right, having a lot of certifications, performing, getting hurt, being laughed at, fitting in, getting sick, being different. Bullies bully our fears, we bully ourselves. Boom. I'm going to say that again. Bullies bully our fears, we bully ourselves. So fears live in our head until we highlight them. Fears, the dragons with really bad breath, live back there. And we're just bringing some light, a little love, a little light, little squishes. We'll cuddle with the dragons, make them our friends.
