A describes the impossible contradiction of hating a parent who both destroyed and saved their life. They recall wanting a time machine as a child and wrestle with deep gratitude for their mother despite everything. The emotional paradox, A says, is very hard for others to understand.
There's a lot of poetry in restraint.
Oh yeah, I know. But when you, when you hate someone, you're attached.
But I don't hate my father.
No, I know that. I know you don't.
And this, and let me just say this, and this is what people couldn't understand what was going on when they say, why, why don't you hate? I don't understand. I said, it's very hard. And I said, this is going to be really hard for people to listen to. It's very difficult to hate someone when you feel like they destroyed your life and saved it at the same time.
Hmm. That's insightful, though. That's truth.
And yeah, that's real shit. That's real talk. And the thing is, is that if I could have that time machine that I talked about when I was 11 years old on January 25th, 1990, with Dr. Maricus. I don't know if I would get in it because—
it's okay, take your time.
Because as much as I loved my mother, and I love my mother, and I wish that I could change the circumstances. Yeah. I am so grateful of the time that she spent with me on her brief tenure on this earth and the lessons that I was able to learn from her. And the good that I have been able to reflect out of her memory in the world and then the person that I have become. And look, I'm far from a perfect person. I am, I am flawed just like every other human on earth. But I don't know if I would change. I would never change anything because I'm here right now and this is what I'm doing and I've impacted people and She lives on and in such a beautiful way.
