The Scary Guy Podcast Christmas Special with Barry Morgan

My legal name is The Scary Guy. I changed my name in a court of law. All of a sudden, someone I don't know in the tattoo business got a full-page ad in the newspaper that said, "Are you tired of dealing with scary guys with war paint facial tattoos?" First thought that came to my mind was, "What am I going to do to get that guy back?" You know, revenge. I thought, "Well, I'll jump in my hot rod Lincoln and find out where that guy lives so I would run over to his house and run over his dog. Because a flat dog would get him back, don't you think? I realized I was a name-caller, a hater. I could stereotype and categorize people at will. I jumped down off my pedestal and I told all my friends, "I'm packing my bags." They said, "Where are you going?" I said, "I'm going to travel the world to help people see each other differently, from the inside out." Here's the truth, ladies and gentlemen. We need more people to stand up and get involved. Less people watching stuff happen. I don't care about your past. I don't care what you've done. I don't care where you've been. I don't care what you've said about other people. I'm gonna love you the same as I loved the last guy. And that's all the way. No one is safe on this planet until all of the hate is gone.

Here's the hard part.

You don't eliminate hate with hate. This is The Scary Guy podcast.

Yeah.

Well, happy Christmas, friends. Happy Christmas, Scary. Hope you're well. Christmas Day, it's the Christmas Special podcast. What a 12 months. Yeah, what a 12 months this has been. Talk about 2020 vision. No one could have seen this year coming. However, we hope you've enjoyed the positivity and stories that our guests in the first 2 seasons of podcasts have shared with you. Now don't forget to leave us your reviews and send us messages to let us know about your favorite episode. Now I'm sure today's guest will tickle your festive fancy. Make sure Granny has got her Campari topped up, she's sitting down for this one as we unwrap our Christmas cracker of an episode. Now you'll want to see this one on YouTube as today we get our organs out and we meet the man who's big down under. He puts the organ into Morgan Please welcome to The Scary Guy podcast and a wonderful happy Aussie Christmas, Mr. Barry Morgan.

Hello, my goodness, music lovers! Hello, Gary! Hello, Scary Guy! I am Barry Morgan and I'm locked in the organ room. In the Australian bush. And let me tell you, fellas, there is nothing like the Australian bush.

I like that. I've always wanted to check that out.

Yeah, I want— you want to check it out sometime? I can tell you, Scary Guy will come over, we'll have an organ party. I'll organize some Bex powders and some little Campari frappés, and before you know it, you'll be in the Australian bush. I don't want to miss out other introductions here. I want you to say hello to Cardboard Barry over the back there.

Cardboard Barry.

Yeah, say hello to the guys.

Hey Cardboard, how are you?

Is he feeling flat today?

Really, he doesn't say much. I'm quite sorry about that. I've been talking to him about it. We're gonna have a lot of fun here, aren't we? I can feel the giggles coming on.

I think I think Rody Ray needs to get Cardboard Barry sorted out with mics.

Yes, we need some microphones. Rody Ray, he's behind the scenes, my goodness. We might bring him out at some point. Yeah, I want you to say hello to Cooker.

Hello, Cooker. I've seen you on social media. I'm very pleased to meet you.

Say hello, Cooker. Oh, he likes you. Oh, that's enough of Kooka.

Is that a Kooka?

Kooka.

Kooka.

What's a Kooka? It's a kookaburra.

Is it a cuckoo bird or a kookaburra bird?

No, it's a kookaburra.

What's a burra?

It's a— well, it's a kookaburra. A burra— well, a burra can also be like a cave or somewhere where you swag out, you know. The saxophone players and out-of-work trombone players usually in Australia are sleeping in caves because they can't afford to be anywhere else. Kookaburra is a native Australian bird and it has a sound like this. It goes, are you sure you're not making that up? Make it up? I don't make anything up. This is all real.

You're no human.

Barry Morgan. From the world of organs, I'm an organ salesman and I'm trying to share the joy of the organ with the universe. We're gonna be talking to Mr. Musk about getting a bit of an organ on a rocket. Sometimes I'm just straight up. No, but that's what interests me the most really about space, just go straight up. I mean, what other way would you want to go?

Are you, are you, um, at home at this point, or is this a special studio spot that you're in?

I'm in the organ room.

Organ room.

Well, Scary, surely you have an organ room. Everybody has an organ room, surely. Just that Barry's is larger.

Before we start the show, you know, I haven't stopped laughing. There's a good shot. There's an organ shot.

And when we get them— when we get the group—

oh, that looks like a— that looks— is that a Hammond?

It's a Hammond. It's a Hammond B classic.

Is it a B3?

It's Aurora. It's an Aurora classic.

That's neat.

A home organ. Oh, it's neat. It's nice. I'll just take these, um, thongs off. There we go.

You know your organs, uh, Scary Guy. How do you know? Do you play an organ? I didn't know you had organ knowledge, Scary Guy.

Well, one of my best friends was Andy Bailey, and he was with the Lamont Cranston Blues Band, and he played a B3. So I, in fact, I bought him his B3 for the band and back in the '90s. And, uh, so I'm familiar with organs.

But yeah, well, the B3, those guys, those guys that were playing that, they're the serious jazzers, whereas I'm a bit of a home organ man.

Yeah, that's a whole—

well, you can see here, if you look at the organ above, let me see which camera it is. This one here. Yeah, here there's all the drum machines. This is the drum beats here.

Yeah, that's more updated than a B3.

Well, it's a different sort of kettle of fish really. The B-3 was, you know, well, it originated in the church and then, um, yeah, it, uh, it was used by the blues and—

yep, that's what he played—

jazz guys for sure. But this is the home organ. This is— I'm all about the home organ party experience. And if you just— I love it.

Yeah, but you can play blues on that.

That's that. I'm bringing a little hope to the planet. That's what I was trying to put a projectile.

Can you play Happy Hope Blues?

I don't got Happy Hope Blues, but I've got a bit of— I'm sort of like to play around with them, with the sounds of the songs to go Oh my goodness, that would be, that would be, that would be the Led Zeppelin of blues. That was, that was 'Have Yourself a Bent Little Christmas,' really. For all of the musical ones out there with prowess, they would have known I was using the flat 7 note instead of the 6, which is—

yeah, I was just thinking that. Now, it's a— Barry, thank you for joining us on Christmas Day, taking out your time. Obviously it's the evening in Australia, so what did your day look like today? What did you do? What did you unwrap?

Uh, well, some, some new socks. Wow. Yeah, sock it to me, Barry. I'm a bit of a— oh, cock. I'm a bit of a sock connoisseur. We might edit that bit out if we can. I got some bits here. Oh my goodness, look, see, I got some new socks.

Oh, those are cool.

Very happy with those.

Yeah, yeah.

Um, I said it, I said it. Oh, look at that, I've got those back from Santa. I wrote him a letter a little while ago.

Two pair of socks.

I was helping the Australians. Two pairs of socks. I was pretty happy actually. Yeah. And of course I wake up in the morning and I, and I do my smile practice.

I mean, now I've seen it on social media and that's a wonderful thing, particularly this year when everybody sort of forgotten how to smile and lose a bit of hope. Do you want to share your smile practice with the listener, with the viewer?

Very safe and simple. It's pretty much of it. You practice this. It's a muscle thing. I do a smile and then frown.

It's hard though. Don't you think it's hard to smile when it's been such a gloomy time of the—

well, I know, but okay. But then if you go past the gym, all those, you know, gorgeous muscle type people, it's hard to lift those weights above your head too. They do it because there's an outcome. There's a physical one, but there's also a mental and an emotional one. There's a chemical one. So I know it's hard, and it's been very hard this year. And it's easier for me because I can do it with the backing of a bossa nova from an organ. Not a lot of people have them anymore. And it sounds something like this. Ah, see?

Well, that automatically gets you smiling.

Yeah, with the bossa nova, you just practice and you smile, then you frown, then you smile, then you frown.

Yeah, but since I saw you from the very beginning, I've been smiling. My cheeks are starting to hurt.

Oh, that's lovely.

The world would be such a nicer place if everybody had their own bossa nova backing track as they were moving around the world. Obviously to take it with you, you'd need your own strap-on organ, wouldn't you?

Gary, you're horrible.

I, I'd really— there we go. Oh, let me go over here then. Oh no, let me go back here. Well, why not then? So you want to strap-on organ, Gary?

Absolutely. I think it's got to be a must-have. I think this Christmas everybody needs a strap-on organ. A strap-on, absolutely.

That's a beauty.

Operated strap-on organ.

That's a beauty, man. That Baby's big.

And it goes over here. Oh, now we're grooving over here. We've got a bit of wah too. Yeah, just stay there. My goodness, how's this gonna go? Here we go, get those socks out of the way. Look at that. And the thing about the strap-on organ, Gary, seeing you asked for it, And you've got to take it, you've got to take it subtly. You don't want to do—

okay, bring it on.

You know, like on this one, on this one I can, you know, do like— no, you can't do— not on the Scrabble. It's a very subtle approach.

It's too early to do this for me. Is this Santa Claus coming to town?

Oh yeah.

It is Santa Claus Has Been to Town. Yeah, I love it.

That's beautiful.

The effects of what was in his sack.

State of the Berry art.

Yeah, yeah, we're going to try it once more. We can sing along.

Come on, everybody.

I'm, I'm loving this. Camera thing. Oh, there I am.

The Claus is coming to town, town, to town, to town, to town, to town.

Checking it twice, checking it thrice. Naughty or nice, nice. Yeah, baby.

Claus is coming, come in to Gary's house.

Oh yeah, round of applause, Scary Guy!

They just tuned out.

If, if I wanted to get someone a strap-on for Christmas, what is that, the one you'd recommend?

Well, that's where you need to get on the interwebs and dial the world of organs.

Barry Morgan's World of Organs. Check it out, and the links are in my podcast notes. So if you can't— if you're too drunk already to find it, then just click on the podcast notes. Barry, tell us, you are the world's most exclusive and the best organ salesman. When did you first discover the organ?

Well, when I was a young man. Uh, so yes, well, it was in the church basically. Mr. Murchison was the church organist. He was a very good friend of Nancy's, um, and he used to come around for morning tea after church actually on a Sunday. Nancy used to send me off to play in the park while she and Mr. Murchison talked for a while. I really hated that park, I must tell you, especially in the rain. But she always insisted that spending a little time cheering Mr. Murchison, the church organist, up was It's a part of a, you know, Christian duty. So from then, when I heard the organ, I just, I was just drawn to it. The big pipes, it was the pipe organ initially. And then of course, as I got, you know, reached puberty, I discovered the Hammond and the Leslie rotating speaker, and I've been playing around with it ever since. And if you look at it closely, as you can see here on the YouTube, it's pretty much like the original DJ machine. You know, and it's a lot of fun.

It looks—

brings me a lot of joy. And I— what I get out of it the most is actually the joy that it brings to those that get to hear it. When I tour, I do tour around Australia doing organ parties.

Yeah, you did do concerts, dude. Are you on stage doing concerts?

Yeah, we do, we do. Yeah, well, we haven't been doing too much of late because of the, um the crazy year we've had. But I've quite enjoyed being locked in the organ room for quite some time.

Can you remember the first time that you got your organ out in public and the— and realizing how much joy that it brought to the people that were seeing it for the first time?

Well, the, the big break for me came was there was this, um, TV show in Australia called Spicks and Specks. Which you would know over there in the UK, the wonderful Adam Hills, an Australian comic and host. So there was a show that he had, and they invited Uncle Barry to go on to the show and pretty much present his organ to the country. And it was a magic moment, I must say. My hair did blow back in the wind and the heat that were coming from the audience. And I played the organ and they had to guess the songs. And, um, yeah, ever since then I've been required to travel around the countryside doing organ parties, uh, you know, some concerts, theater shows. My goodness, at the local bowling club we have a lot of fun. And I teach everybody during the show not only the importance of the Smile Brown, but also how to get the most out of their organ in the privacy and comfort of their own lounge room using my world-famous one-finger method.

I saw the sign. That's awesome, dude.

It only takes—

okay, would you like to share that on Christmas Day for us?

Well, yeah, it's any finger will do. You can get your fingers up, guys. Come on, let me know on the screen.

I really want to see those fingers. Come on, Scary, see your fingers.

Come on, that's it. You can choose any finger. Some people choose this one, some people have chosen that one.

This one.

I usually go with this one, and we go like this. We go touch, release, smile.

There you go.

Touch, release, release, smile.

And if we go over to Aurora— there she is. Oh, doesn't she look so good? I love seeing that big organ up on the screen. If I go over here, you'll see here is a button called the one finger for beginners. Oh, there we go. And we go like this, um, we can do one finger down here on the blue one all together and we go touch, release, smile. Touch, release, smile. Yeah, touch, release, smile. Cut! Really? Yeah, here we go. Oh my goodness, I got carried away!

That was good.

See, one finger, away you go. Very safe and simple. So those are the sort of things I've been— I mean, I'm not just an entertainer, I'm an edutainer.

Edutainer.

Well, there we go. Well, that's cool because we now have— yeah, two of you in the same room at once.

Edutainment.

Yeah, edutainment. That's—

yes, that's it. That's you. You need to put that underneath your name. The World of Organs, the King of Edutainment.

Well, I mean, I know there's a lot of, um, there's a lot of stresses out there. There's a lot of people that are pretty, you know, freaked out after this last year. And for me, you know, the, the reaction I get when I get the opportunity to take my organ out in public and display play it and share how to actually play it and get other people up on stage playing it with me at the same time, my goodness, there is a lot of joy in the room. It's palpable.

It's been a tough year, hasn't it? I mean, when, when was the last time that you were able to perform in public?

Oh, it's— well, I haven't done anything all this year, really.

That's terrible, isn't it? That's terrible.

I haven't been anywhere, anywhere with all this gear. And all this gear that you're seeing in the room, even Cardboard Barry, not that he actually helped it all but he comes on the road too so that's probably why I pay Roadie Ray an extra rate because he actually has to bring Cardboard Barry along who basically doesn't do anything it's sort of like you know I don't know that crazy uncle that drinks too much at Christmas and doesn't help lift the chair—

Who's the crazy uncle? Ray's the crazy uncle!

No no no no no no no Ray's not just I'm just thinking about family see I don't have family I'm all on my own I imagine At Christmas time today, there's probably some people and they've got the crazy uncle over who are having a little bit too many tipples already out of the jelly fridge.

There's no Mrs. Morgan.

No, the big question, the big question is who will marry Barry?

Who will marry Barry?

Well, and I feel like I could be like one of those clown heads that they've— that put— they put the, you know, the ping pong ball in. Well, now wait a minute, I'm putting it out there. Maybe I should send, you know, a container of ping pong balls with hearts printed on them to the ladies in the UK to see who might come by and Pop one in for a chance. Who will marry? Who will?

Yeah, you've got to have a friend. You got to have a girlfriend, don't you?

Well, I don't. It was like, you know, I mean, is your— no, mother's single.

Yes.

Well, that's good. There's a start. I've made it. I've made an inroad. No, I just, I just, I just, it doesn't really work out for me. I'm not too sure where it goes wrong.

Well, that's presumptuous on my part, isn't it, to say girlfriend?

How to catch a girl or a boy, you know, I've probably got more chance of catching a rabbit here in Australia than I have. But I do like rabbits. They like to party at night and party all night. They do, they do, they got the— yeah, they do, they party at night. I'm a night partier.

Talk about parties, obviously there'll be a lot of people having parties today, and I don't think there'll be that many big parties over the next few days with various rules, horrible rules and regulations around the world about New Year. But New Year's parties— now, one of the places that would normally be celebrating a fantastic New Year would be up in Scotland. Edinburgh is a place that you have happy memories because we love Edinburgh, and I know that's a place that you've been to too, isn't it?

I did go to Edinburgh. I took my organ all the way in a big sea container and the Leslie and all the gear. We went and had a wonderful time there at the Fringe Festival. Uh, we were due to go back, um, to Edinburgh the following year, but I haven't mentioned him before because he has a very healthy ego, but that is, um, my brother from another mother, Stephen. I'm not going to let him on camera at all. My goodness, he is just so wanting to be the star of the family, but it just hasn't worked out that way. Poor Stephen. Anyway, the door's locked, isn't it, Ray, in case Stephen wants to get in? Yeah, yeah, he's up in the other—

Yeah, we don't want to meet him.

Hopefully he's peeling— he's probably peeling potatoes or something. For my gnocchi. I do love gnocchi.

You should have a—

will marry Barry.

Yeah, can you not get— allow Stephen to at least have his own cardboard cutout to keep Cardboard Barry company?

Anyway, Stephen, and he harps on this one all the time, he thinks it's like I have to have some sort of emotional contact with him. But after Edinburgh, we were over there together because we always toured together, not that I let him be seen, Stephen. Otherwise known as Stretch. Um, he's a real Australian bullshitter like you guys. He's got a band called Stretch and the Truth, and let me tell you, he does. He thinks he's such a rock star. Anyway, he got him. So I'm supposed to be sensitive about this now because it was a serious thing, but this is why we were unable— and I'll hold it against him pretty much— while we were unable to return to Edinburgh was because he got a brain tumor.

No way.

Yes, that was a bit of a— So that held us up there for a couple of years. They fixed it up. They cut it out of him. Threw it to the dogs. It was all good. It was benign. It was all right. He's a bit deaf in one ear, but that's fine. So that's why I didn't make it back to Edinburgh. But at some stage, I do feel like that there's a bit of love coming from the UK for Uncle Barry at the moment. I've been sending quite a lot of merchandise across there. And a lot of people have been contacting me when I've been doing some of the lives that I've been doing on in the evening. I've been, um, you know, sending me messages of love from— it's like a breakfast show in the UK by evening time. So I actually have been feeling a lot of, a lot of love coming from the old Bailey.

It's a, it's a place that needs the love because we are At times in, in on this little island, particularly the last year, it's been a miserable existence for many people. And we've mentioned it before on podcast, the go-to emotion for a lot of Brits is the frown. It's the frown is the go-to without the smile. So I think when I, when I see you on social media, my go-to in the morning, the first thing I want to do is see Barry's organ, which gets me up in the morning. Every morning I go to you, get my organ fix, my frown fix into a smile, and away we go.

And the thing— I'm serious about that though. I'm serious that you physically need— like, I know it's, it's hard. Like, people say it's hard to— and it is, it's difficult to, especially at these times, a lot of people to smile in the morning. But if you can approach it like, think like I think I like that idea that the gymnast has to, you know, the guy in the gym, the girl in the gym, they're picking up those weights. They're not easy to do, but they're doing it. There's an outcome. And if we can physically try and practice this stuff up, they make themselves work out. That's right. I've got to come to the UK and, you know, spread more of my organ joy around the place.

Absolutely. Now, when you're on tour, um, I need to hear some more. What's your go-to show opener? What do you open your show with?

But what— but it used to— I used to do it. Okay, it's been a while since I've been doing them. I'd had this one called, um, there was— oh, this is like— this is—

yeah, can't clap too loud here.

Yeah, there we go. This one was a bit of a, you know, a bit of an oboe. So like, see, the great thing about the home organ is you don't need to actually have an orchestra. I know that the times are tight over there in the UK. Maybe if some of the conductors all just bought an organ from My World of Organs in Adelaide, they'd save quite a lot of money touring around with the oboe and the cello and the violins. It's all here. It's all here. You can have a look. There she is. There's the strings down here. Here's the oboe. How was that, Mike?

That rocks, man.

Yeah, that was actually called The Sands Upon My Hands.

The sand's upon my hands.

If you look at— look at all those— look at the rings on those fingers.

And look, it's beautiful.

Yes, but look at the one that is missing.

That's funny. That's awesome.

And for those listening on the audio podcast, it's the one that we will find out who will marry Barry.

That's right, the ring finger. Yeah, I must say, I do love to get a ring on my finger.

Well, you come over here, we'll tattoo something on that finger.

Very— what a great idea.

Yeah, we'll just, we'll just tattoo vacant or available, but not for long.

Do you have— does Barry Morgan have— do you have any— do you have any tattoos that are— I noticed that there aren't any that are available to the camera. Oh, here we go. Barry is taking off his right sock.

I love it.

That is— that's awesome, dude. What is it?

Is it a star?

No, star.

It's a star.

It's not a star.

No, star on his right heel.

That's a mole.

No, it's not a star. Might be looking for one.

All right, so why that— why the star on the right leg?

Well, because I, uh, you know, I've sort of been to a few crazy parties in my day as the organ salesman. And, uh, one of them, which I won't— it was in South Australia, I won't give out too many details. But, um, yeah, there was a lot, quite a lot of bikes and tattooists on board. And after a few Camparis and quite a rendition of a bossa nova, they, um, they suggested I got a tattoo. I get a tattoo. I wanted to get one like The Scary Guy. I wanted to get one on my face, but they said— they, uh, they assisted me and they said, well, we think you're a real star, Barry. So they put it on the ankle. And I tell you what, I did whimper quite a lot. It was quite painful down there. I tell you what, I had to get right through a whole bottle of Campari.

That's a lot.

There you go. I've got a tattoo. See, I can relate. Yeah, as an audience salesman, you have to, you have to be able to relate. Like even Gary, with like how you displayed before that you've got like a, you know, shiny, beautiful shiny skin.

I like it.

Yeah, yeah, I do too. But see, we can, I can relate even though I've got hair and you don't.

We're still, you know, you got a lot of hair.

You've got amazing good hair.

Major league hair. Is that all your hair?

Uh, well, no, it's not all of us, but I'm not going to—

no, wait, wait, is the hair on your head yours?

Now guys, let's get—

because it's just—

wait a minute, this is, this is real, this is real.

Yeah, but the organ's real.

I'm real.

Yeah, but that hair is beyond real. That is unbelievable.

Well, hey, in the Groovy Scene, it's sort of unreal.

Does Rhody Ray have to take any part in the, in the hair? That, because that must take a lot of looking after too.

No, no, Rhody. Occasionally I get Rhody Ray to put my hot rollers on. We can go and have a look at them over here. I'm just gonna—

yeah, let's get the Hot Rollers on. I want to check those out.

I'll check them out.

All right, you got your Christmas thongs?

Oh, I do, and I've got the thongs with the fluff.

Those rock, dude.

Yeah, man, you've got to really— like, if you, if you can find a thong with fluff, buy it. Here we go. Here are the hot rollers.

Well, I love it. Beautiful.

Very self-sufficient and a wonderful display of costumes you have there too, your costume department.

We've got— well, let's go, we can go over here together. Let's just slow this down a bit and let's just have a little look, a tour.

Yeah, so on the audio podcast, we're about to do a tour of Barry's merch.

We're having— well, it's, um, it's no, it's all my merch. I do have some merch I can show you. Look at this. I'm really happy actually. I got— this has got back today, brand new. First time I've done a print on black.

Nice. Available from Barry's merch store. Links on the podcast notes.

Yeah, we definitely get one of those.

It's actually fully up there just yet, but anyway, I'm trying to work out that technology. Uh, so there we go. Look, um, this This is a book I read every day, Mr.

Happy.

Mr. Happy by Roger who?

Hargreaves. Hargreaves from the Mr. Men series.

And, um, of course, on occasion when I feel like doing some getting right down, I've got my favorite Jason Donovan cassette.

What's your, what's your go-to Jason Donovan track?

Oh, Oh, all of them.

Too many broken hearts in the world.

Oh, that's right. Yeah, too many broken. And of course, on occasionally when I'm feeling a little bit, um, I need to get a bit moving, I do like some country dance steps there.

That's awesome.

Yeah, we do country dance steps. Now, do you do ballroom? Do you play— do you get your organ out for the ballroom?

Because we've, uh, I have done, I have done some organ society, um parties before. There was, uh, in the early days when I've— after being on television on Spics and Specs, um, there I got invited by the Official Organ Society of Australia to do some concerts. I don't— I thought they— I think they thought it was an organ recital.

Little did they know.

And it ended up a little bit like—

Oh, nice. I love Spam.

Yeah. Now you've moved into the, the world of food and music. Now, one of our previous podcast guests—

Wait, you know where Spam is made? Where it's made, where it's actually manufactured. No, do you know where, Barry?

No, I don't.

In my home state, Minnesota. Austin, Minnesota is the home of Spam.

Fantastic. Cow's ears and lips.

I know, it's awesome, dude. I mean, you know, I got a can of Spam.

Yeah, well, it's not, um, well, Roadie Ray, um, heats it up on a shovel on an open fire out the back back of the truck.

That's right.

When we're doing the country touring in the Northern Territory, he likes to eat it.

Fried Spam tastes great, dude.

Mm, it's, um, yeah, and it's— and occasionally I keep it because obviously there isn't anyone in my life, so it's the closest thing I get to lips.

Nice one.

These are the sort of things that I'll bring to the hors d'oeuvres. So when, when the possibility of coming to the UK and doing some big concerts, we can also do some parties. And if we do a party, then I sort of become— if we book a party at your place, say, Gary, I'm ready. I think you— I get it. I get a feeling from you, the amount that you've lent on the organ tonight, that you have been dreaming about hosting your own organ party for a long, for a long time. So I will be— I become not only the entertainer and the educator, the edutainer, I'm also the party planner. I'll help plan the evening about what to— what food, because you don't want to fill them up. You want them to stay a little hungry so they're light and flippy, especially when I'm getting the boss on over in the one finger method. Um, as far as cooking goes, I mean, I am definitely in I'm definitely into pressure cooking.

There's something about—

there's something about pressure cooking.

Well, you gotta let the stress off, don't you?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And occasionally I can do some late night reading. I've been reading this one here, His Shock Marriage in Greece.

Nice, excellent. Now I saw a book back there and it had the word, uh, sex on it. What is that about?

Oh, this one. Well, there it is. It's pretty much that.

How to Do Sex Properly. I need that book.

You can read the other bits, including Living with Acne.

Who to Do It With.

Who to Do It With.

Featuring How to Kiss Right.

And this is the one that I'm still stuck on. I do read it quite regularly. Are You Normal?

There, that book might help me out of all the problems I've had in my life because I've had almost all of those problems continually throughout my life.

Well, there you go. And occasionally when I get to do a little bit of video, I like to watch that one. But the good news is I think Ray, uh, Roadie Ray has just told me on the interweb we've just made a sale for an organ in the UK.

Okay, now that needed an organ fanfare, didn't it? But we didn't have— we'll have to edit one in.

That's, that's just showing you around the organ room. And of course, there's all the wonderful costumes here. There's the new merchandise. Look, there's my, there's my sign up there, The One Finger Method, the world of organs. Some lovely costumes.

Yeah, I like the part— I like that part, Barry, up there that says BM4PM. Yeah, that's awesome, dude.

Yeah, I've got the, uh, the official Organ Party t-shirt here. Look, there you go.

Vote Barry Morgan, Australian Organ Party.

That's it, striking the right chord for Australia's future.

Now see, you never know what's going to happen because since our podcast with Paul Mercurio, he's turned into a politician and he is now representing the people where he lives. So I don't see any reason why after our podcast you can't do it, why you can't be the PM. I see this happening. Then you'll find someone who wants to marry Barry, definitely. And you realize I'm leaving all this in for the audio podcast because I would love to let people know that they have no idea what's going— that extends quite a long way, that.

That's right, that's my little, um, that's my— yes, well, look, I, I'd like to represent the people here. Um, uh, in, in the lovely, um, in the, uh, city of churches and shallow graves, Adelaide.

And what would be your manifesto?

It is the Sunnyside Mall in Adelaide, and that's in South Australia. Um, it's a lovely little place. Um, and, um, yeah, within that, in, within that, in the Sunnyside Mall, I mean, I'd represent the other shopkeepers within the mall that's It's not just the world of organs there. I would definitely, you know, be to represent Martin's Menswear, where I get all my suits, my outfits. And of course, the girls at Cathy's Nook and Cranny Cafe.

We don't normally talk politics on our show, but in this case, I think we should break the rules and say I would vote for Barry.

If I was going to be representing, one of the main issues that I find in the Sunnyside Mall— so this is a mall like you have in probably call it a mall, is it, over there? I don't know what you call it, a mall, mall, uh, would be a mall, mall works, or shopping center is the boring answer. Well, we have it, it's the Sunnyside Mall. It's very— I mean, it doesn't, it doesn't— there's not much sunshine there, it's quite cloudy, quite a lot. But all the Sunnyside Mall, and one of the main issues that I would be under representing is center management. That's what that— they're, they're the people that I'd need to work to try and make some changes. Because I've been playing for the Sisters of No Mercy nursing home that's just around the corner for many years. And at Christmas time, which has only just been through this in the last week, there's been a lot of stress when the ladies from the Sisters of No Mercy nursing home come up to do their Centre Stage concert in the mall. There's issues with management.

Nice.

They are the people I would represent. I would strike the right chord for those sisters. But, um, you know, the boys at Sweetmeats Butchers, Nigel and the boys, I mean, my goodness, we're all like a family there, really. So it's beyond politics, really. If it's beyond politics, becomes more family. And I think at Christmas time, I think we probably should talk more about family.

Yeah, well, family is important, and families have been torn apart this Christmas because families aren't allowed to get together this Christmas, which is— that's right, which is very upsetting.

Christmas, actually, it's lonely. I think it's a lonely Christmas. But you do think, Barry?

Well, I see, I've been lonely forever.

Forever.

You don't, you don't look lonely, and you don't come across lonely.

No. I don't think so. I think that's, uh, that would be locked in the organ room.

I spend a lot of time on my own.

Well, Ray's there. Is Ray still there?

Ray's here tonight. Yeah, let him come on out. Look, Ray, take off those headphones, come out here. He probably hasn't even got the bloody headphones plugged in.

He's listening to a different channel.

There he is.

All right, he's got a beer.

All right, out now. Yeah. Oh no, oh no. But look, I do get lonely. This— I'd like to introduce you to my dear departed mother Nancy.

Hi Nancy!

That's Nancy.

This is a show. That's Nancy. Yep, you can nearly see a bit of a close-up there. Some of those big ones, I can't work out whether they're actually false teeth or kneecaps.

Well, Nancy sort of resembles the beach, dude.

Um, yes, well, that was interesting because that song that I played before, The Sand's on My Hands, that I actually went, uh, that was written after going on a trip to the beach with Nancy.

Really? Nice. That was in honor of Nancy.

In honor of Nancy, that's right. Well, my heart goes out to— I think Nancy might have sprayed a bit of dust on the organ. My goodness, you can't get good help these days.

Typical, got Nancy all over the organ.

Got Nancy all over my organ. I do miss her, especially at night.

Now, your organ has a great appeal, a worldwide appeal, so much so I understand that you were once offered Something for Your Organ by Tenacious D by Jack Black. Is that true?

Yes, that is true. Jack Black, uh, the Tenacious D boys, they did, uh, they wanted me to take the organ on the tour with them. Uh, this brings up another sore point, uh, with my brother from another mother, Stephen. Because of the brain tumor, we were unable to do the tour. And he still goes on about that. He wants me to give him sympathy, but there's no sympathy. So at some point, um, I will get an opportunity to possibly, um, yeah, do something like that again when, you know, when there actually is touring again. Like, when will there be live touring again, guys?

Soon. Very soon.

The lockdown in the UK is fairly big for you guys at the moment, isn't it?

Well, we have, without being very boring about it, we have very, a very strange tier system. I don't know how it works in Australia. So depending on how many infectious people there are, you can have tier 1, tier 2, tier 3 with different levels. And, and then there could be a whole countrywide lockdown and no one knows what's going on, which is why the, the love and the smiling and the fun is even more important. And I know Families have really spent a lot more time getting together, so I think for you being obviously a family man, family orientated, family entertainment, we need to play something that's really gonna get the families singing together on this Christmas Day. So what would you suggest? A really good feel-good get-together Christmas song.

Oh my goodness, I got carried away with jazz again.

You should do that, that's good. I like that bluesy jazzy thing.

You like the bluesy jazz, Eddie? What have I got for you then? I can do something here, like, um, That's awesome, dude.

Thank you.

Well, we had a little play there. My goodness. Um, yes, where were we?

We were talking about families and everything else, and then we just get lost in the— in your organ. That's the trouble. You start fingering your organ and then all hell breaks loose. We just can't concentrate on anything else.

Let's keep it tidy now. This is a little— this is the censor book, Gary.

All right, I get that.

And they get— when they get a little bit risqué with the organ, I bring out the cookbook. Imagine if she'd saddled up to you and said, 'Would you like cream with that, Scary Guy?' I have a bit of history for you I want to share. Yes, tell me.

My grandmother played the B3 organ for the silent movies, and she played the organ for the hockey games live when the— back in the '40s and '50s, when the Hockeys was playing in the United States, she played the organ for him. So my grandmother was also an entertainer, and her name was Grandma B, the letter B, and she, she taught organ lessons too. But that's what— that's my experience with the, with the B3 and the organ. That's my grandmother. So this brings back great memories, dude.

Oh, that's fantastic. Um, well, blessings to her. And I would have loved to attend, uh, one of those, um, uh, the baseball games. I've heard some of the recordings. A friend of mine, many years ago, sent me some of the recordings because he was like, you got to do this at the cricket.

There they go.

Yeah, but I, I don't— I, I, I, I, I'm just too busy in the organ room really and dealing with center management as I'm running for PM, doing choir practice with the ladies. Is that to see the girls at Cathy's Nook and Cranny Cafe? I mean, a double mocha and those cinnamon-dusted finger buns. I mean, my goodness, what those girls can't do with those.

I, I would like to get lost in your organ room, to be honest. If that's, if that's your— if that's the world of Barry Morgan with the, the buns and the mocha, then that's the world I aspire to.

I know, since, since the, um, we've had water restrictions here, so the guy, you know, Nigel and the boys at, um, Sweetmeats, they were having difficulty with their squirting.

Yeah, well, we gotta have Barry play us, play us off, Barry. We gotta have you play us off.

My goodness, how quick does that go?

You're having fun. Oh, well, we could do— what can we do? Something swingy, I suppose.

You know, if you got to play us now, listen, you got to play the whole song. Play a song at least 2 minutes long because I don't think they think this is really you.

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are grey. You never know, dear, how much I love you all in the UK. Please, come on, don't take my sunshine away. Was that enough?

Yeah, that's great, man. Thank you. That made my whole day.

You can never get enough.

Well, and at some stage we'll do this again. I'm feeling good about coming to the UK, and I will have that— actually, um, prepared a few more tunes for you because normally in a concert there's actually quite a lot of songs. There's also a sing-along. I do a great barriokey.

Well, can, can we ask you a favor? In the, in the— we're in what, season 2 now, Gary? When we get to season 3, could we do a, um, like maybe 10 or 15 shows from now, we do a second, a second episode with Barry Morgan?

And I'll prepare some more songs because I must say, with this, um, little breakdown we've had with this pandemic, my goodness, Uncle Barry has moved 4 studios since March. And that's why I am so happy that, uh, Roddy Ray was here today, because, um, he traveled a long way to come and help me today to get all this set up. And from this morning, it was all bare walls. Um, and there's a lot of work that goes in. So, um, and then subsequently, just before we went on, I said to Ray, oh, I haven't actually prepared. Haven't had a moment to prepare any songs for this. So next time when we do it, there will be— maybe we can get a request from one of your, um, listeners.

Yeah, that'd be good.

I think the next time we do it, we'll do it live and we can have proper audience participation. Let's go live, I think. So we, we are sadly at the end.

Um, we're at the end. Oh my God, we're at the end.

Hey, because I, I know, um, this is the end from my own family, and I'm pretty certain the other UK families that by now the arguments will have about to start, the dinners all over the place. Yeah, the Campari's empty, the vodka's empty, and the Queen obviously will be on Yeah, and the Queen will be on soon, so everybody has to stop for the Queen, so we have to give way to Her Majesty. But it's been a very strange year, one that I am very pleased to have discovered the world of Barry Morgan's organs.

Absolutely.

You have so kept my pecker up for the whole year. Um, I'd like to thank you for that. Um, you've Very much. Okay, the cookbook's coming out.

Sorry.

Yes, I would like cream with that. Thank you very much.

And, um, she'll haunt you.

Yes, Dion, I'm haunted.

Um, in the— I wake up in the mornings and always sit on the end of my bed and recall my dreams, and I think tomorrow she's going to be in one of them.

I was going to say Well, now everybody is anticipating a very positive 2021. Um, yes, we always ask our guests to leave our listeners with something positive that they can look forward to, some advice, some words, some positivity.

So what combination of words and notes?

Yeah, what could you leave our listeners with to set them up for the new year?

Sign us off, sign us off.

Well, it'd be, you know, it's making that little bit of extra effort, I suppose. That's what it has to be, I suppose. It's a difficult time. And I'm, you know, I'm into the good morning practice. That smile, frown. That's all you've got to do in the morning. Look in the mirror and just practice, you know, smile, frown. And just do it half a dozen times and I guarantee you it'll give you a little lift. All right, and I mean, it does help if you've got one of my Barry Morgan stickers on the mirror too, looking back at you. Oh, there we go. Well, there's our sign-off. Yeah, yeah, we can do it this way actually.

Barry, it's been—

See you in 10 episodes and I'll prepare some songs, guys. Good luck out there. Lots of love to you all. Please, please, please, you know, look after each other. Stay safe.

Thank you, Barry.

And I want to come to the UK soon, when, you know, when my— when my government will let me out. Right on.

Thanks, Barry.

See you guys.

Bye-bye.

We love your work. Thank you very much for your time.