Tony Stark Policci reflects on Father's Day and the tension between productivity and presence. He contrasts a Japanese woman's 300-year societal plan with Western hustle culture, and describes his 90-day shift toward being more present with his children and community rather than chasing short-term goals.
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Okay, so today is Father's Day, and I just want to talk about something that I encountered yesterday. Encountered, I guess, is not the right word— realized. So my wife and I, we had a great day together. You know, I went to the men's group in the morning, and and I actually got up an hour early. I had my time wrong, so I showed up at this event an hour early. I was like, what am I going to do for an hour? So I went and found a park and took off my shirt and my shoes and went barefoot running for 20 minutes. Got my cardio in. But later that night, we went out to see a friend of mine who's in a band, and they're really good, by the way. First time I've ever seen them, though. And You know what I recognized? Like, these guys are, you know, we're older, right? But they're all of the friends were there and everybody's like in their 50s and 60s and beyond. And it just made me think, you know, we've got so much time that, like, you know, time is precious, right? And as I was sitting there, I was thinking, like, I was thinking about, like, you know, what is coming next? You know, what are we going to do later? How's this night going to go? And I was just not even present, not even in the moment. And so It really dawned on me like, man, dude, life is precious. And there's staying in the moment, being able to stay present and stay in the moment and enjoy the moment instead of being, you know, 10 steps ahead in the future. There are times when it's really crucial to just be present. So I don't know if this is making sense, but I've been so focused on progress and optimizing, you know, my health and my sleep and getting— generating the results that I want in my life that I often forget about the fact that sometimes things just move a little bit slower. And here's another thing that brought this up for me. I had the opportunity to interview a lady yesterday for my upcoming summit. She comes from a different culture. She talked about the Japanese have a 300-year plan. And it just made me think, you know, in Western society, we're very much like, you know, now, hustle, hustle, you know, what can we produce now, instant results, the quicker the better, the faster the better. And we don't always think long-term, right? You ask somebody, you know, what's your 3-year plan? What's your 5-year plan? What's your 10-year plan? And a lot of people have a hard time thinking that far ahead, let alone, you know, 50 years, or what kind of legacy do you want to leave your kids? And so there's a process of, you know, for me, like, how do I strike a balance between generating things that are important right now, being present with the people and the events and the things that I'm doing so I'm not missing the most beautiful moments in my life, and how do I think about what I'm doing that will leave a legacy for my kids, for my neighbors, for my community going forward. So that's what I'm thinking about today on Father's Day. You know, I have a legacy as a father for the impact that I've made with my kids. And, you know, that's a real blessing to be able to be a father and to learn and to grow. And I want to leave legacy because I know that I'm not going to be here forever, right? As I was looking at this crowd last night, recognizing that, you know, I'm blessed to, you know, make it 6 decades on this planet, right? A lot of people don't make it that long. And by the same token, I know my time is limited, right? I don't know how many more years I have. So I want to make the most of the time that I have, and I also want to enjoy the time that I have, right? Not be so focused on what do I have to create, what do I have to build. I think a big part of this 90-day stretch for me is to really like shift into a different part of my mindset about how I experience life, how I show up, how I relate to people, the kind of results that I generate, but also the kind of peace that I have. That's a big part of it. So in the, in the remaining days that I have in this stretch, that's something I'm going to be adding to my focus. Am I really being present to the moments in my life? Because I have allowed myself to get so busy and do so much. That's one of the things that gets in the way of me making videos every single day is that I pack so much into my schedule. And it's not always efficient stuff that I pack in. So I don't know if this makes any sense. I'm just kind of, I think, free-flowing, doing like a video diary here for myself. I hope there's some value in here for somebody that's watching it. If you're a father or a mother, parent of any sort, you know, you've created a wonderful legacy. We all make mistakes. Hopefully We can acknowledge those mistakes, make amends if we need to, have the humility and the openness to be able to admit those things and then not beat ourselves up for not being perfect. And also, if there's amends that need to be made or relationships that need to be healed, to do those things, not to let another day go by where there's a broken relationship. And, you know, we have the opportunity every single day to hurt relationships, to break things, and to, you know, create— hurt the people and the relationships that we're in. And if that happens, you know, correct it as soon as possible. 'Cause life is long and it is also short. And the trick about all that is we don't ever know what the day's gonna bring. So anyway, I'm rambling. I hope that that holds some value for somebody. And I appreciate you watching. I'll talk to you again in the next video.
