How To Embrace Radical Responsibility, Empower Your Choices, And Build A Successful Platform With Marsha Vanwynsbergh Of Own Your Choices Own Your Life

Wish you were one of those influencers with raving fans who binge on your every word, consume all your content, buy everything you have to sell, and demand even more. Then stay tuned while Authority magazine columnist and buzzfeed contributor Tracy Hazzard shares strategies, tips and tactics from top videocasters, podcasters, authors and social influencers on creating that bingeable factor. Now let's join Tracy as she explores how to rise above all the digital noise with the Binge Factor.

I've got Marcia Van Weisberg today here on the Binge Factor and I'm really excited for you to get to meet her. She is a two time podcaster, so having multiple shows really leads to some insights. She's a storyteller, an NLP trainer, speaker, publisher and author. Six time bestselling author of When She Stopped Asking why She Shares Her Lessons as a parent who dealt with Teen Substance abuse and that was really what she started her first podcast in. And now she does. Own your choices, own your life. And that has just so much resonance with owning your voice, owning your podcast, owning how you show up in the world. And that's what we're really going to talk about on the show today. Marsha has been published seven times, most recently with her co platform Everybody Holds a Story. And she is on a mission to continue to help women and men speak, share and publish their stories. Through her tools, outspoken NLP certification programs, coaching and podcasts, Marsha teaches the power of radical responsibility and owning your choices in your own life. She empowers people how to heal and own their stories, be conscious leaders and build platform businesses that create massive income. Definitely someone we want to hear from today. Don't miss the host coming up of Own youn Choices, Marcia Van Winesburg.

Marcia, I'm so glad you're here and I'm really glad Own youn Choices and you have made a lot of good choices in your podcast that I can hear right now. I mean you've well over 560 episodes as we're recording this and that is just amazing. You are the pride of podcasting because 2% of podcasters who keep going past 500 are really, really rare.

Thank you. I received that and I appreciate it and I'm happy to be here and talking all things about podcasting, something I absolutely love. And yes, definitely it's we're growing, we're up into that top 2% right now. And and I realize, I think with your stats isn't the stats that it's like less than 3% make it past episode 21 or 25 or something. It's really small.

Yeah, it is. And this is the thing about it, is that what people don't really understand is that when you get to this position where you are with 500 or more, it's hard to beat you. And especially you, because you are publishing three episodes a week now. One of them is a short one that then leads to Patreon, and we're gonna talk about that in a minute. But. But it's still. You're publishing three episodes a week, which keeps your numbers boosted above other people. It's really hard to beat you on the charts. It's really hard to beat you in your category. And that's true. One of the reasons to keep sticking.

With it, it's a consistency piece. And I do three episodes a week. I was doing consistently two. And when 2020 happened, I'm like, well, what else am I going to do? I'm literally just going to keep recording. And I was on a coaching call, and my mentors at the time were talking about if they could go back and do anything differently, they would have started with five epis a week. They would have started just little mini ones, 5, 10 minutes. They would have done it that way from the very beginning. And I was like, oh, I can do three. I know some people get very overwhelmed by three. It's not overwhelming for me. I'm literally like a sponge with ideas, and I share a lot of what I'm walking through on a regular basis. It doesn't feel that hard.

I can tell there's a naturalness that you've had from the beginning of the show. When I go back and I get a podcaster who's going to come on the air, I want to check out one of their early episodes, check out one in the middle, and check out the different types of episodes you have. And then, of course, I check out your most recent one. As I was doing that, I was hearing this fabulous excitement and energy you have about podcasting, and very often when someone has been doing it a long time, they actually decline in that energy. I think you've gotten more excited over time, which is so interesting. Like, you're fascinated by your guest and you're in the middle of it, and I think this is really the binge factor of your show is that has just grown, and your love and appreciation for the act of podcasting is coming through to the listener.

I love hearing that. I really do appreciate and hearing that, because I'm at a point now where, I mean, I Do a fair amount of research on some of the guests that I bring on. I mean, I probably get 15 to 20 pitches a week. I probably only take less than probably 10% of what I get. And there are some that I go out and pitch because I just feel like they'd be a great fit. I take it very seriously when I have a guest on, whereas I know I've been interviewed by some and I'm like, did they read anything about what I did? Like, I don't think they have a clue about my story. I'm not judging that. I'm just saying it's really important. I take this very seriously. I will read the books of some of my guests, especially when they are very successful books, et cetera. I just like to get background. I will listen to a podcast interview. I do take it seriously, but I also feel that allows the depth of conversation that we get to have.

One of the most common things aspiring podcasters are worried about, those that haven't dove in and tried it and really committed to it. They are worried that they're going to run out of things to say, people to interview, topics to cover. And I think you've like doubled down on topics in the last two years, I would say easily. And there's no real repeats in there. I mean, you might discuss something like mindset in a different way, but there's no real repeats in what you're doing in your topics.

Thank you. That is also. I am willing to grow like I'm putting myself into situations. The last three years, I have taken my NLP masters, my practitioner masters and trainers, and now I'm training other people to be practitioners. I've had to really get into some uncomfortable learning to be able to do this work, and that has allowed me to dive in more in the podcast episode. So I think you actually have to be growing on a regular basis, consuming the right amount of information, like, not over consuming. But there are certain podcasters I listen to regularly because they speak my language and I just get them and they then will open up an idea in me that I'm like, oh, I could actually spin this. And this is about something related to me or what I'm walking through. And then sometimes it's a very vulnerable episode. I believe in being real, and I think we could actually benefit with a lot of us doing that more and sharing what it's like to walk through some of this and navigate.

Let's go back to the beginning a little bit now and talk about the start of the podcast. So when you say your show's called Own youn Choices, Own youn Life. I love that title because it. I mean it. You've made some significant choices here in the way that you've taken your show and started it. But what was the thinking when you were starting the show for the first time? What was it about? Why were you doing it?

This is such a great question, and I'm going to tell my story in a very short snippet, if that's okay. I was a parent who was dealing with teen substance abuse. I was in this space of trying to fix, manage, control, navigate everyone around me. Lost myself completely in the process. Couldn't figure out how to navigate something I didn't ask for and what could I do? And really, it came down to understanding what was my choice to own and what was not, what was not my choice and going back and forth with choices. Choice became a really pivotal word in my life at that time. And I would have regular basis. Every five minutes, I would sit down, it's like, wait, that's not my choice. That's not my choice. That's not my choice. What is my choice? And own my choices. And I just would literally sit, and it's like, when I own my choices, I can own my life. Like, that became something that I said. When it came to naming the podcast, I had this moment. I'm like, oh, I love that name. And I'm like, it's kind of a long name.

It does deviate. Like, I usually say three to five words is ideal. Yours is six, but they're not super long words. Right? Like, let's keep it clear. And you do have own your choice on your cover art, so you're all going to want to check that out. It's the larger part of it.

And it definitely, like you said, I don't always follow the rules that everybody recommends either. But I looked at it and went, okay, they are the words that speak to me. And I really wanted to start a podcast. I started a podcast shortly after I wrote my book. And I wanted to create a space where people could talk about overcoming difficult stories. Because Even back then, 2017, 2018, social media podcasting world was very curated. It was very curated. Like, I mean, even think about our Instagram feeds used to look like everything matched. And we were in this space and I was like, none of this is real. This is not what life is like. We have to change the model. To me, I remember saying, I want to start a podcast to see if people want to share, like, difficult stories. And what they've overcome. And I can't even tell you when people laughed and thought it was an absolutely ridiculous idea, because what do you know about podcasting? What do you know about this? And I was like, I don't know, but I can figure it out. And I don't think we're going to change the narrative until we change the narrative. That was really where the words and the title came from. And 560 episodes in. I have no problem finding people who have stories who have overcome unbelievable things. And I think it's really powerful because I think that we can learn a lot from each other.

I so agree. That's what. When you tap into something that actually is universal, there's longevity in that when we try to contrive it. And that's what happens a lot in the podcasting advice that's out there is to like programmatic. And you're talking about rule breaking, but you're rule breaking on something that shouldn't have been a rule.

That's a great way to say it. It really shouldn't have been a rule. I couldn't agree more. I just knew I didn't know exactly what the stories were going to be about. But I wanted to create a space for those kinds of stories. It's allowed me to have an unbelievable conversations with people from all over the world. But it really does come down to. It's people who walk through difficult stories and are willing to share them and the lessons that they've learned with others that became the beginning. And I mean, I'm sure you know this, but in the beginning, most people, when you start a podcast, you just announced to your friends, I have a podcast, who wants to be a guest. And that would be like rule number one. I would say never to do.

I don't mind you doing it. If it's your practice, like, practice with your friends, that's an okay thing to do. But let's not air them unless they turned out to be fascinating and really good, or unless your friend is Oprah or something.

I'm sorry to my early friends who are listening. This is not a dig at you. It's not. Your podcast is your brand. It is who you are. When I say, own my choices, own your choices, own your life. People know me for those words. I use those words. I actually pulled up my very first episode. I found it and I found the video for it on YouTube. I clicked it and shared it. And I literally talked about why on your choices, on your life, what it meant. And I'm Saying a lot of the same words now. Now, I have had people say to me, why would you share that? That's really not that good on video.

Back in 2017, we were all nuts.

We didn't even have ring lights.

That's right.

But I'm proud of that. I'm not ashamed of that. And I also want to put that out there because it gives people insight that we all start somewhere. I will never hide that early work, ever, ever, ever. I will always show it. Because if it's a one thing that stops the barrier from somebody starting something, then it's worth it.

We don't always know. I love that you use the phrase own your choices. Right? Because I've made a choice. I've made a decision. I've made a decision. I've made a choice to go into podcasting. Now, am I only going to dip my toe in. That's not owning a choice. And that's not what you did. You went in and you said, I'm all in. I'm going to figure this out. I'm going to be consistent. I'm going to be constant about it. I'm going to try this and keep going. And it's turned into quite a bit, and that's what I want to talk about now, is how that shifted into community, business choices, things that came along the way from podcasting. What happened in that path, I think.

In that past, I will say 2018 to mid late 2019, I was in this space where I was just sharing again. Just sharing. I didn't have a business attached to it, but I had people reaching out, saying, I really resonate with your story. I resonate with what you're sharing. Do you take clients? Do you help people with their books? Literally, I listened to what people were asking, and if it felt aligned and I liked it, then I was creating it. I mean, if I didn't want to do it, I wouldn't have done it. Same with. If I didn't like podcasting, I wouldn't do 500 episodes. It's just, I do what I like, really. People started to reach out to that, and in that process, I started coaching people on how to write their books, how to share a vulnerable story, how to speak from the stage. My podcast has given me access and connections to clients, to speaking opportunities, to other podcasts. Again, you have to go first. I really do. I mean, this was so much love. You have to be able to go first. Because I get messages from people all the time who really hard pitch themselves to me and they're like, I want to get on shows and I want to do. And I'm like, then start your own show. You know what it's like to be a host because you can't just ask and not give too. So those are just a couple thoughts I wanted to share.

No, I'm so glad you said that, because I do think that so often I get a pitch and I think you have no idea what it's like to be a podcast host. You have no idea what drives them. And this is why you're having to work as hard as you are to try to pitch yourself. And that's not the answer. I do see that very, very frequently. And it's given you this perspective on what you can build, what you want to build, and now you're making some significant personal choices in it and professional choices in it. What are some of the things that you've built now from your podcast? I know that you have a community. What types of things have you built?

I have built a membership site before I building it into Patreon. I have taken it into building, into programs and into connections. I don't hard sell, but I always share what I'm doing because people are listening, so why not share? I have done it with the podcast. The other thing I've done in the last year, between podcast and email community, they get first access to a lot of things. They'll get first pricing, they'll get first information that doesn't go out to social media yet. And I've had. It's been really neat because I've had a couple of masterclasses that I've run that have been just for podcast community. And all of a sudden up pops a bunch of people that I've never met before. And I'm like, this is really cool. Like, it's a. You also have to be willing to foster that community and offer them things that they do feel special because we also have to recognize not everybody's on social media. They're really not. Actually, there are some people who don't have it at all and they love podcasts.

And I think that probably less likely for the particular area that you're in where you're talking about deep dive into some hard problems I'm contemplating. I call them the 2am problems. Right. What do you do at 2am when you're suffering, when you're worried about your kids, when you're dealing with substance abuse, when you're dealing with those things? You don't go on social media because you don't want to see people liking and friending and sharing stuff like that. You go to buy a book, you go to listen to a podcast. You consume something very private, and there's an intimacy in that. And you are that guide. You're that person that they're relying on. That's a really intimate level that they've come. Now, you may not realize it on your end, right until they start reaching out and you realize there's a deeper connection here than I thought I had. And that's because you're hitting them at a moment when they needed you most. And they value that. That's why they want something from you. They want a course, they want a program, they want your coaching.

What a great analogy. I guess I never looked at it that way. I forget I was in those spaces. And I'm really. The other thing about podcasting, for me that is really important to continue is the fact that it is a free resource. When I was in my worst moments of my life, I couldn't have afforded to pay for anything at all. And I will always have a free resource. When I do have somebody who reaches out about coaching or support and they're not in the space, not even financially, just mentally, they're not in the space to create change and commit to something like that, they'll say, what do I do? I'm like, I have 560 episodes. Just start picking whatever speaks to you. Because there's lots of free resources. It's very important to me, and it will always be a point of my business, that there is a free resource that is going out on a regular.

Basis that's so critical, like, you're recognizing the value of that. But the other part that I think that we underestimate as podcast hosts is that when we've given somebody something so freely, they still feel like they owe us. And that's where they recommend our show. That's where they come back when they do have something and say, I'd like more of what you have. I will buy your book and I will take that course and show up on your masterclass and tell everybody about it. They become our fans because of that.

They do. And you again, fostering that community. You continue to give back and do that. So I started probably about six months ago reading reviews on Fridays. Fridays are a review episode. What do you think happened? My reviews went up like it's. And I mean, people loved it. And I love it because, I mean, I don't know who love whatever 2, 3, 4, 5 is. I don't know who that person is, but I'm reading them out because they're taking the time to write the reviews. And I just feel like that's what you're doing is you're creating a very reciprocal relationship with a listener and letting them know they're valued. Really what do we want as humans? We want to know that we're being valued. And I just feel like that's a very important piece. The other thing that happened podcast wise, if I can just share one really quick story, it's a powerful one. Late 2018, I started to notice my podcast was getting a lot of downloads in Africa. And I thought, well, that's interesting. And all of a sudden I was getting messages from this person. We connected. She made it very clear from the beginning. She was like, in her young 20s. She was a human trafficking survivor, not a victim. She's like, I'm not a victim, and don't call me that. And I'm a survivor. And she had this dream of speaking at the UN about trafficking because she said, we have so many people speaking about trafficking who were never victims and never experienced it, should not be speaking about it. She had this vision. She Googled podcast on stories, Choices, Overcoming, and mine popped up. She started to listen. We connected. We started to build a relationship. And when my collaborative book called Owning youg Choices was published in 2020, I reached out to her and I was like, I can't think of a better story to include in the book. She was like, I don't have any money to put together for this. I'm like, leave that up to me.

Did it.

GoFundMe got the whole thing covered. And her story is in our book. We got to ship a whole box of books off to Africa during the pandemic, which took, like, almost a year.

Of course, yeah, we got them there.

And she has a foundation. She's openly talking about this. And I look at it and go, the reason I share that story, it's not a look at me. It's that, like, I kept believing that I could connect to people, more and more people about sharing stories. And now it's opened up a door for her. And she's now a published author and she is openly sharing and supporting other people. And if you believe in your mission and what you're doing, the right people will find it if you keep going.

I love that connection. And, you know, that's something that I discovered early on when our very first podcast on 3D printing, and we had Africa and Brazil and just these great countries of people who were saying, there's no information here. For us, the podcast is the only open place we can get information that we can afford. And I thought that's the reason to keep going. Right? There was enough for me.

I always. There have been times where I think, oh, do I just, like, keep going at the pace that I go? And I'm like, well, there's always more than Beccas out there. You never know who it's going to reach. Right? You just don't ever know who it's going to reach. And share her story on a regular basis on shows and times that I'm interviewed, because that will be a legacy moment for me. That will be a moment where I just am forever grateful that our past connected and it was only from podcasts. And she said the exact same thing. There was no other resources to try and find something. Podcast was the only thing she could do and listen in her room. That's what she had. So she is. I'm forever a fan of it.

You mentioned briefly about this community building and that Patreon is now a part of your strategy. Let's talk a little bit about that. And for those of you who don't know, Patreon is think of it like a donor subscription. Like it's a combination of both, but it's specifically built for podcasters.

It is. If you go search on Patreon, you're going to see some people who have 20,000 subscribers every month. There are different people, different shows, and just like anything, it's not easy to move people from one platform they're used to to another platform. We just looked at it and went, how about we try it as an option for growing our podcast community? Because we all know that there is a ceiling in a sense, that people who tend to get sponsors support for their show, they have X number of downloads per episode, and yet you've got people who are still having great success with their shows. And I have. I'm super grateful for all of it, but I'm not at that level. And so I thought, well, let's try it. And the other thing we're going to do with it is we're building out a digital magazine to go in line with my NLP certification that I've created. But the digital magazine is to connect with other podcasts, podcast hosts, authors, speakers, and then using QR codes to link to their shows that we can be able to connect. Because obviously I've met a lot of people over the years and I've loved those connections. We wanted to group it in and include that in the Patreon cost per month. And we're fairly new into it. Like, we're really new into it. But the thing that I was very clear from the beginning is I don't want it to make more work. How can we do this? We decided to take the Monday episode and that I was already recording and put it into Patreon only and then include all the video content that's in there.

And you do. Just so that everybody understands how this works, she has a five minute episode that airs in the public feed that sends everybody with an. I'm going to call it an outro, but it is really like an advertisement at the end for where they can get the rest of the episode. And it doesn't cut off at a weird point. I have to say, you do a really nice job of getting the five minutes in, or it's around five minutes. Your team does a really good job of putting a cutoff point that doesn't like, leave it mid sentence. I've heard some that are really bad. That is not. It kind of leaves it at this place where you're wanting more, but you got a little bit of it. So you get enough of a nugget.

See, and that's like, this is. I'm talking about the learning curve. The first probably two weeks in my brain. Like, I also have a very strong business brain. I started to look at it and went, okay. People don't even know there's an episode missing because it's not showing. And Patreon doesn't connect to Spotify or Google. Apparently that's all coming. We'll see, but that's coming later. And so I'm like, they don't even know what's missing. I can't encourage people. I can do an ad, but the ad is not like we just had to really try and figure this out. My podcast editor manager, amazing human. We could take out like a four or five minute clip. And I'm like, as long as we can make it smooth. And I mean, the ones that she's done have been outstanding to me. They just lead right into what the episode's about. But it leads to Patreon. So now when you're. At least, if you're a regular podcast listener, you see that there is an episode there. It's just four minutes, it's five minutes and it leads to the others. We are also trying that. Like, we're open to trying different things and we'll see and decide if this is the way to go? I don't know yet. I'm not sure. But I also know it's not more.

Work for me, and that's important right now. You're testing something, see where it happens. And I love that you're keeping up that experimental model of podcasting. You didn't lose it along the way. And you're like, I'm setting my ways and I'm done. This is how it works. And there are a lot of podcasters who do it. But then it starts to sound like you're phoning it in.

I did not want that at all. And like I said, at least now I feel better. You can see those episodes are there. And when I go to my stats and I look on my podcast platform, they're getting as many downloads, those five minute episodes are getting as many downloads as some of the other ones. I know people are listening to them. Like, I know they're being listened to.

I'm obviously an expert here in binge listeners, but it's a binge listener model for us to say, I know you're doing three shows a week and let's say maybe I only have time to listen on the weekend. On Friday, I download all three episodes and then I just binge them right in a row. It's gonna go from one to the other. And a five minute episode is like nothing. Why would I bother to skip it? I might as well hear it.

It's been really good. To be honest. I think some of my Monday ones are even the juiciest ones. Like, I share a lot. I might even share more vulnerable stuff. I'm a very open person. Obviously, I've shared my story here, but very open person and I'm very vulnerable. My podcast community gets more of me than social media does because they get.

The real you for a longer period of time. It's hard to be real for 30 seconds. Yeah, it is.

They really do. And that's why I've also been able to build that connection with them, because I'll see reviews that come in again, don't know who they're from, and I'm like, oh, wow. So some of that's landing. Like, people are hearing that and they're connecting to that. For me, it works. It's not what everybody shows about, but for me it's been really important to have this connection with people in the podcast. We just had a family funeral recently and we've had two recently. And my one side of the family, she lost her husband and she was talking about. She goes, I listen to your podcast all the time. And I was like, you do? I just sat there and she goes, actually, we all do. We just don't say anything that rude. But we all listen to it. Like, it's just so supportive and we love it. Thank you. You do not know who is listening. You don't know.

That means so much when somebody who really knows you is more than willing to take the time to listen to it.

Yes.

That's a big testament the power that you're creating there. There are some brilliant things about the show that I've mentioned already, some of them. But I think that the model of conversation that you have in your guest interviews, because you have so many submissions and you're being very discerning about who you're choosing to come on a show, there's a deeper connection before you even start. And that says to me what you mentioned earlier, that you are doing your research. You're not only choosing smart, the person that you want to have a conversation with, you're interested in that conversation and you've done enough research to know what it is you want to ask. And that makes a very different interview episode. And I have to tell you, sometimes I listen to a podcast because I've been research and listen to so many, and I'm like, what did they just say? Because it just didn't even gel in my mind. And your interview episodes tend to be more like that, I would say, because how many interviews do you hear a day?

Right.

And are you really interested in that conversation? But in this particular case, I was listening to one of your interviews and I thought, wow, you went right for the question. You went right for the heart of everything. You got them to open up, and before you know it, it was like, I couldn't tell which one of you it was speaking. It was like, which one of you is it? Because it was such a co conversation. That's a really unique place when you're collaborating in your interview.

Oh, wow. I love. I don't think I've ever been told that before. I love and appreciate that because I think that's the piece is that. Because I've really put a lot of thought into who does come on the show, and I'm invested in their story. I also have done a lot of interviewing and I will go to the point of the story. I will ask the question in a super tasteful way. Like, there's nothing exploitive at all. There's nothing. I want them. Actually. The reason I do that sometimes is because I can create a safe environment for that person to know that you can show up and share. I'm going to hold. I'm not judging. I'm here in this space that feels really special to me and I love being able to do that. And that has allowed us to have some conversation. There have been a couple of episodes where I'm almost like I'm hosting. I have to get back into a little bit of a hosting hat here for a second just because I'm so engaged in the conversation.

And that's what I mean. Like, I can feel when it shifted into that in your episode. And you do have to take control and you do, before the end, come right back out of it. But it really is a unique place that you don't hear often. A lot of times because the interviews are too short. The people who are doing like the 10 minute interviews, they'll never get into anything, any depth. Yours are 45 to an hour. Like you're really getting into it. So you're giving yourself enough time and then when you hit that co collaboration point, you're spending enough time in that place. And I think it's a really powerful model for interviews that I don't hear often.

Thank you for saying that. Because I am also a guest. I've probably had a hundred interviews where I've been the guest in the last maybe six, nine months. A lot actually. And some very much like we only do 20 minutes, we only do 30 minutes. And then they'll ask a question. I'm like, how in the world do I do this? And five minutes, I just can't. It's too deep.

I can't stand it when they're like, here's the five questions I'm going to ask you and it's going to happen in rapid fire. I'm like, do I really want to do that?

No. There's actually a few shows I've turned down because I'm just like, nope, same thing. Like branding. It's the same thing if I'm the host or if I'm the guest. I don't just like randomly pitch myself to everybody because this just makes no sense either. But I can tell when I get into some interviews and I'm like, oh, they're just not confident. It's not a judgment, it's just they're not there or they're having a hard time, et cetera. And other people, it's just so easy. It is something that people will have some strength with and you can gain the strength with practice. You can. But as you do It. It builds, like you said, this conversation, I've had a couple where I've been almost. I'm not scared. I get excited about, like, who I'm going to interview, but I'm almost nervous. And I will take the time to do even more research. Then I was introduced to personal development back in 2015. One of the very first books I read was by Coot Blackson. I loved his book, I love his work. And his PR team reached out about six weeks ago and asked if he could be interviewed. And I literally had the moment going, is this a joke?

I kind of felt like it. I had Mike Michalowicz on my show and I was like, oh, you know, like, it was like one of those big deals as an entrepreneur, right?

Yeah. I doubled down. I went back and read both books and I had this, like, just this incredible conversation. And I did let him know the amount of how his work affected me and how appreciative I was. It. But we just had this conversation where it's like, almost forgot there was even a mic. Like, we were just in this deep space. And I mean, I can't get that with everybody, but I can get that with a lot of people because I also think that people who have listened to the show, they know we're not going to talk about fluff on my show. I don't do fluff. That's not what we do.

And you don't do Gotcha. Which I think is also another thing that they were like, I can't believe I shared that on the show. Which then harms you, because in your world, if they don't share the show, there's not an additional boost of growth. Right. Like, that's part of the point of having guests. And when you're in a vulnerable topic, sometimes they don't share. But if they feel really comfortable with how it went, that feeling is going to carry over into the sharing side.

It's so true. Actually, I met some people who've never shared, and that's always a bit frustrating because the host is putting in a ton of work and the person could at least share it. But they don't always. But I have had, just in testament to what you're saying, I just did one this week that I think in the conversation, it was a beautiful. He was a veteran and his story is unbelievable. And as we went through it, you could see he was almost feeling like, oh, my gosh, I can't believe I just said that. And as we went through it, I'm like, we just Kept the conversation going. It was beautiful. He did a fantastic job. When it was done, I was like, is there anything that you did not feel comfortable with or anything that you. He goes, no, the things that came out, I'm just surprised that they came out. But I've also grown a lot, and I feel okay with it, but thank you for asking. He goes, because I've had three or four hosts who will pick at my wounds and ask questions to make it more juicy or whatever you want to call that. And then I ask them, please don't air this. Like, please don't air this. And sometimes they will, and I just won't share it. And I'm like, that. I'm sorry you've encountered that. Because that is not what podcasting is about at all.

It shouldn't be what podcasting is about.

No. And it's not what vulnerability is about. Just for anybody who's wondering, like, what you want to think that you're being vulnerable, that's not it either. It's respectful. You need to be respectful. Some people have walked through unbelievable stories, and I just feel we don't need to glorify them for a show. That's just wrong.

That's so true. And I have had where something happened to somebody, even after the fact. I think it was like a massively bad divorce. And they had mentioned their spouse on my show and asked to have it removed. And I gratefully did it. Afterwards, I was like, you know what? I'm happy to do that, because I don't want you having something out there that makes you uncomfortable. I don't think that's how I want to show up in the world. Anyway. I'm glad you asked that at the end. That's a really interesting way. And I don't know that there's a lot of hosts that do. Is there anything that makes you uncomfortable? You do edits. You have the ability to do that. Why not ask it? Yeah.

And I wouldn't ask it on every episode, but I could tell from him. I think the other thing is, if you want to build a connection with somebody online, like, you're paying attention, you're reading body language. You're, like, building rapport. And I could tell that he was almost a little bit like, wow, I can't believe I just said that. He didn't say anything wrong. It was just a really difficult part of his story. And he said, I don't typically share it that often, but he said, you also didn't exploit it. And some people do. And no I'm totally fine with it. I actually love how it came out. I'm like, okay, I just want to ask. But he also said, thank you for asking. Like, people don't tend to ask that. I just think it's this level of respect. But it's also because I've spent a lot of time being a guest and I know what it's like. I've had some hosts be quite exploitive of my own story and to the point where I've actually even said, like, I'm not answering that question. It's not appropriate. I'll say it. I'm not answering that question. This is inappropriate. It's not what the show is about, and I will say it. I've seen both sides of it, and I think that we need to be able to respect people, especially when they're coming in and sharing something openly with us.

Well, and I think there's comes with a knowing of the experience that you had. You know that this feels right. You know that this works. You know that the relationship is better as an outcome because you put the hours in. You certainly put the episode numbers in. Before we go, I want to make sure that I tap into any advice you have coming from that place of knowing any advice you have for someone who just hasn't gotten off the fence and decided to own the choice of podcasting.

Oh, I love this question. My first comment that I'm going to say is, stop asking the people who are not meant to be the ones to support you on the journey, please stop asking them. Because if I would have listened to everyone in my life back then, I wouldn't have even started. I wouldn't have written a book. I wouldn't have started because people thought it was crazy. But in deep in me, I felt we can't change the narrative and the stories and the difficult stories people are walking through if we don't start talking about them. And I didn't know what it was going to look like. I had no idea. And that's okay. But stop asking advice from people who are not where you want to be, who are not doing the work that you want to do. Like, love your mom and dad, but don't ask your mom and dad about your podcast, because that's not going to be. They're not the people that are going to be listening to it. Find mentors. There's lots of free advice out there. There's lots of free advice out there to be able to start.

This is one right here. Take this advice right here. Marsha's giving you advice, take it.

Right here.

If you feel called to do it and you feel inspired and you feel nudged to do it, just freaking do it. But set yourself up for success. You might hear, go, okay, she does three episodes a week. Who cares what I do? What do you want to do? What can you be consistent with and find your way to be consistent? And your podcast could be, like, one of the best ways to grow your confidence in yourself. Because I also work with people in helping them to find their voice, use their voice, share their story. And I don't know how many times people say, I can't do it. I can't speak like you do. And I'm like, you haven't even given yourself a chance. Like, start. Like, just start. You have to start. There's no other way to get better at your skills than by using your skills. That's the other thing I would say with podcasting. Lastly, it's brought some of the best people into my life, the best experiences and connections, and I'm so grateful that I didn't listen to everyone five, six years ago and just said, you know what? I think this is for me, and I'm going to do it.

I am so glad you did do it. And I'm very sure your listeners, your many, many, many listeners and subscribers are really glad that you stuck out well over 560 episodes and are still going. I can't wait to see what your digital magazine turns into and what comes next for you, Marcia. So you'll have to get keep us updated and let us know where you are in six months, in a year from now.

Oh, I would love that. Absolutely love that. And can I just share one more quick thought for people who are listening and thinking? Learn to celebrate every single milestone. If you get 10 downloads, celebrate the 10. If you get 100, celebrate the hundred. You do not have the right to celebrate 100. If you can't celebrate 10. I'm serious and honored because you have a listener on the end of that download. They're not a number on the screen, They're a listener. Celebrate that. I remember in the beginning going, like, just celebrating the numbers that were happening. And I've seen it grown exponentially. It is a long game. Podcasting is a long game. You gotta be willing to play the long game, but you also have to be willing to celebrate all of those milestones along the way.

I'm so glad you said that, Marcia. Thank you for sharing with us. Own your choices. Own your life. Three times a week. You're Going to want to go check out Marcia's show right away.

You're amazing. Thank you for having me, Tracy.

I love the concept of being a rule breaker. I just recently did a podcast episode in Vedra Brand about that. Being a rule breaker and the idea of being a rule breaker but knowing that you're breaking the rule is so much better than, like, blindly happening to break a rule. And it doesn't usually work out for you. We see this all the time. You think, oh, I got this. I know what I'm doing. But when you don't have enough knowledge, you haven't gone and tried it long enough. You haven't figured out what's working, what's not working, then breaking the rules are a whole lot harder. This is something that I learned really early on. Right. But getting good at something and then breaking the rules, you can do all kinds of stuff because then you really are making a choice. And that's what Marsha was talking about today. Owning your choices isn't about owning, making default choices. It's making a concerted effort and choice. And that's making such a difference in her show. It makes such a difference in how she shows up in the world and such a difference in the impact that our podcast has on the other side. I love that she also waited until someone asked her and the audience came to her and said, we want this. We want this mastermind. We want this class. We want these things. That's amazing. And sometimes you might want to own your choices like Marcia did and said, yeah, I don't want to do that, but I will help find you someone who can. Right. That's a great solution as well. And that's something we practice here. You know, at Micro Company Productize, we practice that all the time. There are people who are not the right clients for us, but we have those clients as our clients, and we can refer them out. Making those choices in how you build your business is really important. Instead of stumbling into doing things by default, doing things because they just happen to you. Own your choices. Own your life. Own your business. Own your podcast. I love where Marcia's going with this. Marsha. Ben Weinsberg, you're not going to want to miss her show. Own your choices. Own your life. Go check it out. And make sure you check the blog post for this episode so you can link up to everywhere that Marsha shows up in the world. Thanks, everyone, for listening. I'll be back next time with another episode and another great podcast guest right here on the Binge Factor.

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