126. It’s ok to feel shitty sometimes | Breakthrough

I'm Travia Steward. I want to help you move past barriers and obstacles that are preventing you from getting what you want in life. This is Breakthrough. Yo, my peeps, happy Podcast Tuesday! So today is— we are rounding out the month of May, and again, I know I always talk about it a lot about just how fast the, the time goes by. And I think it feels like it goes by so much faster the older I get. And I think I wasn't this consumed with time when I was younger. Then it felt like time was going by so slow. But the older I get, it's like I just want more time, and I want the days to be longer, and I want to get, you know, 8, 9, 10 hours of sleep. But I don't want to sleep half my day away. I still want those 8, 9 or 10 hours added to the daylight hours. And if I need a nap in between, then I'll take a nap. But yeah, so that's, that's what was on my mind because it's almost June already. And today on the podcast, what I want to talk about is something that is usually the subject of, you know, conversation, but really in a negative way because people feel some kind of way and we don't think it's okay to feel, you know, those real raw shitty emotions. So today what we're going to talk about is feeling shitty, and not just, you know, feeling shitty, but the fact that it's completely okay to feel shitty. I know it sounds like, you know, it's a bit harsh when I say, you know, feeling shitty, but, you know, we're probably all adults here, and so there are lots of days when I know that you felt shitty. I had a shitty feeling day recently, you know, but sometimes there's just no better word for it than you just feel like shit, you know. And so maybe it's a day when nothing goes right. Maybe it's a day when everything is fine, but you just can't shake that down feeling, you know. It happens. But what— before we jump into this full episode, I just want to give you a quick reminder that if you are someone who is feeling seriously down or having thoughts about ending something, this podcast is not a replacement for a therapist or a counselor. And so please reach out if you feel like you are in such a low place where you can't find way— your way out yourself. Reach out for some professional help. You're not alone, and there are people out there who can help. Okay, let's get back to it. So feeling shitty, right? We've all been there, we've all done that. It's not a fun topic, but here's the thing: if you spend any time on social media, it can feel like everyone else is living this perfectly happy, you know, photogenic life. You know, everybody's at, you know, at brunch, everybody's on a beach trip, everybody's got the perfect dog who does all the trips, who picks the basketball winner, who picks the who's gonna play in the finals, that kind of thing. And it's like the entire world is, is stuck on a highlight reel, and you and me, we're the only ones who can't keep up. And so I implore you to remember that That's all it is. It's a highlight reel. It's not real life, because real life is messy. It's complicated. It sometimes is, again, shitty. And that's okay, you know. I'm not posting on social media when I feel like shit. I'm not posting that this is my face, you know, because I believe my, my, my mission on this Earth is to empower and inspire as many people as possible to live the highest vision of their lives. And so for me, it's totally fine if I keep those moments to myself because most people who know me, I would bet, tend to think that I am probably one of the most optimistic people they know, you know, someone who is generally happy most of the time. And I am. But I am also someone who is very in touch with her feelings and very in touch with what's creating those feelings. And so just this past— actually, it wasn't this past week, it was a couple weeks ago, because when I'm filming, when I'm recording this episode, I'm recording, I'm batch recording. So this was probably around, um, mid-May, where it was, it was a Monday, and I recognized that, hmm, you know, you guys have heard me talk about waking up you know, doing a full body assessment of how you're feeling. Where do you feel any kind of tightness, or you feel anxiousness, or some kind of knot in your body? And then we go and we relieve that. And so first thing in the morning, I check in with myself. What is my number? You know, how close am I to homeostasis? And for me, homeostasis is at least an 8 on a scale of 1 to 10. And so on this particular day, I recognized that I was just feeling like I didn't want to go to the gym, I didn't want to record anything. I just wanted to kind of just be and feel shitty because, you know, I hadn't reached the goals that I wanted to. And so there were some things that I was measuring in my business and You know, it wasn't that I was feeling, you know, like a failure. I was just— I just knew I hadn't achieved by then what I wanted to achieve. So yeah, I was a little down about it, but I was okay with it because I recognized that I needed to process through those shitty emotions because life isn't 100%, you know, let's be optimistic, let's be all sunshine and rainbows all the time. You know, life can be 50/50, life can be 70/30, life can be 90/10. You know, it varies. And so that day I allowed myself the entire day, and I remember when Shelley came home and she said, you know, is everything okay? And I said, yeah, everything's fine. You know, I just, you know, I feel shitty today. And is there anything you want to talk about? No, you know, I processed through the emotions, but I'm allowing myself, I'm giving myself today to just feel shitty., but tomorrow is going to be different. And I knew that, so I gave myself the time to sit down and journal. What were the thoughts that were creating these shitty feelings in, in my body? And I worked through that. I did a whole, you know, thought model on it, and I knew the, the core of where those thoughts were coming from. And so I gave myself grace. Because that is a part of being human. And so we don't want to force, you know, let's feel good no matter what, you know. We don't— that can just make us feel worse, as a matter of fact, you know. We're all human. Life can be messy, and we're a whole range of emotions, and that is okay. Because when we try to push down that bad stuff, the anger, the sadness, the frustration, the shittiness It just makes it worse. It's like trying to hold a beach ball underwater and, you know, eventually, unless you pop it and deflate it, it's gonna pop up and smack you in the face. And that's how it is when we pretend to be, you know, happy all the time and we put that, that sadness up on a shelf for later. And then after a while, we put so much on the shelf that it just becomes heavy and falls down and pulls all of your, your painting off the wall. It pulls all of your drywall off the wall. You know, and let's be real, no one is happy all the time. Even if someone, you know, says they're happy all the time, no one is happy all the time. You know, those picture-perfect feeds on Instagram, on Twitter, on TikTok, you know, those are just highlights. Again, they're not showing the argument, the stress, the disappointment, the crappy shitty days, but that doesn't mean that they're not happening. And here's the thing, again, it's okay to have bad days. It's okay to feel bad. It's okay to feel shitty and to feel down. It's okay to not always be okay. And so we're not designed to be happy all the time. That's perfectly normal because studies show that trying to suppress negative emotions actually backfires. It can lead to increase— increased stress more increased negative emotions. Sometimes when we hold that stuff in so long, it can lead to health, physical health problems. So instead of trying to push down that beach ball of negative emotions, let it go, let it float, let it exist. Just be with it, welcome it, be with it, and feel those feelings. And let it be okay that you feel your feelings. We need to give ourselves permission to feel, and not just the good stuff. We give ourselves permission to feel the shitty stuff. You know, when we're having a bad day, it's— we want to acknowledge that it's okay to say, you know what, I'm not okay right now. And guess what? That doesn't make you weak. It doesn't make you a failure. It makes you human. It makes you real. Because the truth is, we're all a bit of a mess sometimes. I'm a bit of a mess sometimes, and you know what? That's okay because it's human. It makes us human. We're humans, we're messy, we feel a whole range of emotion, and that, my peeps, is a beautiful thing when we can all feel and process through our emotions but get ourselves out of that. We don't have to stay there, we don't have to stay in the down shitty place. We can get ourselves back out of— but it's okay to give yourself a day, an hour, a few hours, a couple of days, you know, to feel those emotions. And when you actually have a day or a few hours or a week where you recognize you're not in homeostasis, you're not feeling happy and sunshine and roses, we want to make sure we're taking care of ourselves both physically and mentally. But we want to give ourselves compassion, right? Because we all know that we can be our own worst critic. And when we're feeling down, it's easy to get caught up in that spiral of negative— that negative self-talk. But I want you to try to remind yourself again that you're only human and it's okay to feel your feelings, that you're allowed to have bad days. So we want to give ourselves permission to feel and try to replace the negative self-talk with something a little more kind. You know, we're not going to pretend it's not there, but we're going to allow ourselves to be okay with feeling it. And then if you recognize that you're staying there and you can't get out by yourself, by maybe journaling, by maybe meditating, by maybe saying a prayer, by maybe going for a walk, doing a workout, whatever that is, maybe self-soothing, like with maybe it's time that you just need to take a break and watch your favorite Netflix show. Maybe it's time to just watch some Ted Lasso and laugh your ass off. Maybe that's exactly what you need. Or it doesn't ever hurt to reach out to someone you trust. Maybe you just need a sounding board, someone to listen. Sometimes just talking about how you're feeling can make a world of difference when you hear yourself actually say the words. I know I've, I've, I've felt, you know, certain types of emotions. And then when I heard myself say it out loud, or when I journal about it and then read it, then I went back and most of the time I laugh at it because I'm like, oh, it was that thought that was creating— that's why I felt like shit all day. Oh my goodness. And so then I was able to step back, like almost, you know, in third person and look at it from the outside in, because we can't read the label. When we're inside the bottle. And so feeling lonely or overwhelmed, we want to reach out to a friend or maybe even a family member. They may not have all the answers, but you know what? They can listen. So as I wrap up this episode, feeling shitty is a part of the human experience. It's a part of life. It makes us all human, and it's the part that we don't talk about enough. So let's start the conversation. Let's check on our peeps, check on our family members, check on our partners and our spouses. Reach out to someone that you haven't heard from in a while. And so let's start that conversation. Let's be open with each other about our struggles. Let's be real and open about our feelings. But again, we don't have to stay there. I know I, for one, I don't wanna stay there because I love the happy, optimistic Travia Steward who sees the glass half full and not the glass half empty. Because when we do, when we share and feel our feelings, we often realize we're not alone because we're all in this together, because life is about creating connection. And being there for one another and loving each other through thick and thin is forming these connections. That's what I believe life is about. All right, my peeps, take care. Have the most amazing rest of your week. And if you are finding value from this podcast, I really would love for you to share with someone that you also may think may find value with it. Please go down below Click the link to leave a review on Apple Podcasts where other people can find and, and listen to the podcast and it can maybe help improve their lives. All right, my peeps, I appreciate you so much for listening. I appreciate you for being in my world and thank you for the opportunity and the honor of being in your ears every week.