127. The Value of Coaching | Breakthrough

I am Travia Steward, and I want to help you move past barriers and obstacles that are preventing you from getting what you want in life. This is Breakthrough. Yo, what's up, my peeps? Happy Podcast Tuesday. So today is— this episode comes out on June 6th, and What is on my mind today is I really want to talk about the value of coaching. And so I remember when I was, you know, a teenager playing sports, I had a coach who would push me and push me and, you know, where I wasn't ever settling and push me to like dig deeper. To try maybe a little harder. I had coaches who saw things in me and my potential way more than I saw in myself. And so when we talk about the value of coaching, I firmly believe that coaches in any capacity are priceless, like the value that a coach can have on your life and your potential. So at the end of life, when you rewind and you, you look back and go, this is what my life was. These were the relationships I made. This was the impact and the legacy that I'm leaving. It's priceless because to have the things in your life that coaching provides can help accelerate and take your life to a level that sometimes you can't even imagine that your life could be that good. So before we jump into it, I would like to share with you where this, this motivation came from for me. And so, you know, I was, you know, a lot of you know that, you know, as a high school teacher and probably for the last 5 to 7 years of teaching theater, I just became really stagnant, really stuck. And I was wanting more, but I didn't know how to do that. I just know that I found myself going through the same old routines, and I didn't know what I needed to do to pull myself out of that because my environment said, you work the same job, maybe you switch and go to another job, but you do those jobs until you retire. And so there was such a level of fear and uncertainty in me that thinking of doing something completely outside of my comfort zone, I couldn't even imagine that. And so, but I remember when I had a conversation with my mom before she passed in 2017, and it was about 6 months before she passed. And I asked her, you know, girl, you know, she was 85. You've lived 85 years on this earth. What are you most proud of? And you guys, you know, some of you have heard me tell this story and she couldn't come up with anything. She just immediately went to the regret. And so in those conversations with my mother, and then as I looked around at my life, I looked around at family members and friends, and I realized that I was in a paradigm, I was in an environment of settling. Well, I'd learned it from everyone around me because I didn't know any examples of someone who had personally try to do something that was so uncomfortable and fearful and working through the fear anyway. And so out of that conversation and out of me doing my work, it came upon me that my mission statement is to help as many people as possible live the highest vision of their lives without settling. So in conversations, whenever I hear someone talking about settling, whenever they're like, you know, it's good enough, you know, I'm happy be enough, you know, that kind of thing. Like, it's, it's almost like the, the, the red lights go off and it's flashing like it's a strobe light in my head that goes, no, no, no, no, no. My reticular activating system is focused on whenever I hear someone settling in life, like they don't think they deserve more, they don't think they deserve a better love, or, you know, the experience that they really want. Then my, my sensors go off, my check engine lights go off, and then I want to help them not settle, not just sit in that chair, not just sit in that same job, not just stay in that same relationship until, you know, because this is as good as it gets. So because my mission is to help as many people stop settling, let's talk about again, the value of coaching. What exactly is life coaching? And then some people, I mean, I've had conversations with people who are like, you know, hey, you know, because one of the, you know, this, like when you are meeting people, the first question is, hey, you know, introduce yourself. You know, what's your name? Yeah, here's my name. What do you do? Right. So that's usually the second question. And then when I say I'm a life coach, probably at least a third of the time they say, what's that? And so let's talk about it. So when we talk about life coaching, my type of life coaching, like, I want you to imagine having like a supportive cheerleader by your side. You have a coach who is like pushing you, pushing you, pushing you because they see this potential in you. And it's like having someone help guide you through, you know, all these challenges because probably they're a step or two or 10 steps, uh, like before you or further along who can help you through these challenges and, you know, help you overcome these obstacles because most of the time they've already been there and done that. And so that's what a life coach does. And so like a personal trainer for your mind and your soul, you know, offering guidance and motivation and strategies to help you achieve your goals and create a fulfilling life. And so I remember, uh, one of the things that I recall from my high school coach— I was, I was a pretty good softball player in high school, and I went on to college and played softball. And, but I remember in, in high school, I think I was a junior in high school, and we were playing a game, and I hit, like, I hit a home run. I hit the ball out of the park. And so I was lackadaisically jogging around the bases. Why? Because I hit a home run. And I I remember my softball coach at this time, Coach Pat, he got so pissed off and he's like, Travia, you get your ass around that bases, you playing lackadaisical and blah, blah, blah. And he just really lit into me because no matter what, you always go 100%, you give it all you got. And because I love softball, because I follow A lot of the things that I learned from my coaches, like, those things are still with me today. Now, life coaching, that's what life coaching is. It's helping you dig deeper. It's helping you not settle. It's helping you manage your mind, right? Let's talk about what it is not. Life coaching is not therapy because therapy focuses on Healing past wounds, addressing sometimes, you know, some psychological issues. Like therapy has a tendency to stay in the past and we're going to keep rehashing and re, you know, opening that trauma. Life coaching, my life coaching is forward-focused. Now we, you know, as a coach, I do go back and go, okay, well, what is the paradigm? What is this? How can we assess what filters that you're creating in your life right now? What is creating the results you have in your life? So In that manner, we do look at a little bit of the past and patterns, but we don't stay there very long. And so life coaching is forward-focused. It's about action. It's about growth. It's about creating and achieving goals that you, you know, haven't been able to do on your own. Because some of you may be going, you know, do I actually need a life coach? No, no one needs a life coach. Because technically you could figure it out on your own. Of course you can do that. But here's the thing, life coaching accelerates your progress, saves you the time. You know, you have someone in your corner who's cheering for you, who's rooting for you, who's holding you accountable, bringing a fresh perspective, asking powerful questions, offering insights that you may not see on your own, helping you break free from the autopilot mode, you know, that is, is helping you to tap into that, to that potential, you know. And so as a life coach, I love listening to people who have stopped dreaming. They've forgotten how to dream big. And I love helping them tap back into that, creating that desires list. What do you desire more than just a house, you know, more than just, you know, a relationship? Like, like, what do you really desire? Because what happens in our life is when we're We come out without any filters. We come out little happy babies, and then our families and our friends and our environment start to place the filters on us to which we now begin to walk through the world, right? And so the filter is, don't go over there, that's dangerous. Don't go over here and fail because you're gonna look like a fool. Whatever those filters, filters are, that's what happens. And then we begin to limit ourselves. The value of coaching helps you to see that that's what's happening. Right. And so one of the first things that, that I do with my clients is we assess where you are right now. What is the level of emotional fitness, emotional mind management, right? And so what's so important about this is here's an example of this just happened. And when this podcast episode comes out, it will be probably a month after this happened. And so having a level of emotional control is probably the biggest benefit that I personally have experienced through life coaching, because again, I'm a coach and I have my own coaches, right? Because I don't claim to know everything, but I need someone to hold space for me, someone to challenge me, someone to, you know, motivate me to tap into my full potential. And so, um, one of the biggest examples, and that's what I was talking about, I think by the time this comes out, it may be like a month, almost a month ago. That I'm recording this podcast episode. So, you know, I'm not sure if, you know, those of you listening right now and maybe you, maybe some of you know that I am a breast cancer thriver. And so in 2020, I was diagnosed with early stage breast cancer. And within the first 5 years, you have to go back every 6 months do blood work, get checkup, all the things, right? And so those of you who are familiar with this, this regimen, this routine, you know that the oncologist is looking at your markers. And so just, you know, as again, as I'm recording this, it was 2 days ago that— nope, actually it was yesterday that I went to my oncology appointment and My oncologist suggested that, you know, that I get a PET scan. Well, because my markers are ticking, ticking upward, you know, it's— and she goes, we just want to be safe. Well, without that mind management, without control, I would have been a hypervigilant who doom and gloom, saw everything in a very negative way. Oh my God, how can I, you know, make this as dramatic as possible, you know, and And because of the work that I have been able to do, because of the work that coaches have done with me, I have such a higher level of emotional control because I didn't allow that negative thinking to put me in a thought spiral. You know, yes, I journaled about it. I evaluated what were the thoughts, and I chose to focus on thoughts that were going to empower me. This is a good thing. She's being proactive. We want to make sure we're always being proactive and catch things, and even problems, if problems exist, before they actually become problematic and it's too late. So choosing to focus on that is my most recent example of the emotional mind management that I have been able to get through coaching. And so another thing is one of the things that held me back with, with in life, I feel, was that I was afraid of everything. I was afraid to fail. I was afraid to challenge myself. I wouldn't, you know, do things that I didn't feel like I could 100% or close to it succeed at doing it. Because before, you know, for most of my life, I would come up against a hurdle, against a wall. It would not be successful and I would just quit. And the reasons why I was quitting was because of the thoughts in my mind, because of what I was making it mean. So we're talking about the emotional control. We're talking about how coaching helps you let go of some of those internal, internal fears that keep us playing small in our lives. It also helps you achieve your goals faster, right? Because there's strategies and tools. Another very important thing that coaching helps with is improving relationships. Because so many times I find that so many people and clients that I've worked with, and even people in my, in my personal life, put their happiness, happiness into other people. They put their happiness into their kids, into their spouses, into their partners. And then it's like, you can put, you put your life, they put their life on the back burner and go, I am going to do that thing, that desire thing, that dream that they've always had. When my kids graduate, when my marriage is better, after we, you know, redo the kitchen, after we get a new car, then I'm going to work on myself. When the things are perfectly aligned and I have the time to do the life coaching work, I'm going to work on it in 6 months when I'm ready. I would say I am a definite example of there's no perfect time. To wait for life coaching. Life coaching is available now. Life coaching, when you recognize that you want more in this life, that you don't— you no longer want to settle in this life, that's the moment when you get a life coach. Because what happens is if you don't jump on it, then you talk yourself out of it. Do I really need to spend the money on this? Do I— what it costs, what that kind of thing, you know? And, and, and part of it is we are not conditioned to pay. You know, I wasn't conditioned to pay a lot of money for life, for something like life coaching. I have friends today who'd be like, people pay money for that? Yes, because what you're paying for is emotional control. What you're paying for is achieving your goals faster. What you're paying for is improving relationship. What you're paying for is finding a way to be happy without you know, putting your happiness into other people. What you're paying for is letting go of the fear. What you're ultimately paying for is accountability. What you're paying for is ownership and control over your life by being proactive instead of reactive. What you're paying for is you prioritizing you instead of putting your happiness, you know, in 2026 What you're paying for is overcoming those internal fear. What you're paying for is digging deep and making those dreams and desires that you've once had, that you've put on the back burner, actually come to fruition. What you're paying for is a legacy. What you're paying for are the footprints and the impact that you had on this world after you're gone. What you're paying for is at the end of life, looking back over your life and going, I loved everything about my life. I left it all on the field. I left it all on the stage. I don't have a single regret, and I didn't settle for anything less than my potential. I used up every bit of my capacity, and I live life the way that I wanted to live life. On my terms, and I left no stone unturned. That's what you're paying for. So as I wrap up this episode, knowing today what I wish I would have known 30 years ago, I wish I would have gotten a coach sooner. I wish I would have known the value of coaching 30, 40 years ago. So it's because of coaching that I now walk through the world as a proud person, as a powerful person, as a person who's fully expressed without worrying about the expectations of others, without worrying about, I have to put on a mask now. I have to put on a mask with these people and pretend and hide and be full of shame or guilt. Life coaching did that. And so I am so proud of who I am today and the example that I set for my family, my friends, my clients. I'm proud. Proud of that. And that provides a ripple effect because we— I want to be the example. I want to be the change that I want to see in the world. And so in order to do that, I need to first be it. So if you're wondering if you're settling in life, I have a quiz on my website at traviestewart.com. And discover what's holding you back because it could be one of 5 things and discover if you're selling. And maybe you don't even need that quiz to ask yourself to determine if you're settling. Maybe you know deep down inside that you are settling, that you are waiting for someday, that you're waiting for when this thing happens, when I pay off this, when I pay off that, when the kids graduate, all the things. Maybe you already know, but you are not allowing yourself to take action on it. Today I'm challenging you and encouraging you to take action on the value of coaching and take action to take your life to yet another level of where at the end of life you will look back and go, that was the best decision I ever made. So I'm gonna drop the link to the quiz in the show notes. I would love for you guys, if you, you know, go to my website Travia Steward.com. Take the quiz there. Let's be in contact. Right now I'm still building, I'm constantly building my email list so I can have more personal conversations with my people, with my tribe. All right, my peeps, peace, take care, happy June 6th.